The Lost Days (Prairie Town Book 3) (22 page)

He flashed her another perfect smile and her knees shook.  Damn him and his perfect face and ridiculously attractive smile.  He probably ate it up, too.

“How about that drink?”  She didn’t give him time to say yes or no.  The kitchen meant she could get away from him and collect herself before she had a chance to unravel.  She had a thing or two she needed to say to him and he wasn’t going to charm his way out of it.

I’m an idiot!

Being close to Nick, especially at such a late hour, was a horrible idea.  Her body didn’t seem to care that he’d avoided a kiss earlier that day, nor did it care that he was reeling down from an awkward night.  All it seemed to care about was the prospect of being touched and kissed.

I am so not kissing him,
she thought. 
He will never kiss this mouth again.

But even if the topic didn’t come up, there was still something else they needed to discuss.  And it was extremely important.

The talk she’d had with Justin after Nick left earlier hadn’t exactly gone as she’d planned.  His reasoning for his behavior was understandable, but it left her confused in so many ways.

“Auntie Tula said you might marry him.”

“What?” She nearly fell off the bed as she stared at him.  “When did she say that?”

“The night you let me stay with Skylar so you could have dinner with Nick.  She said you might fall in love and get married again.  Is that true, Mama?”

Gazing at her with those big, beautiful eyes, Justin chewed on his lip and frowned.

“No, Justin.  Of course not.  It was only dinner, sweetheart.  Having dinner with someone isn’t a marriage proposal.  Why would Tula say such a thing?”

“Because she said you’ve been awfully lonely and you deserve to have someone in your life.” He dropped his little head and his shoulders slumped.  “You’ve got me, Mama.  Ain’t I enough?  Me and Jamie?”

God, it still made her feel terrible.

And inviting Nick over in the middle of the night was just plain stupid.  What if something happened between them?

Nothing is going to happen.  Absolutely nothing.

But she wasn’t so sure. 

Pouring a glass of sweet tea for him and then reaching for another glass from the cabinet, she instantly froze when she felt his hot breath against the back of her neck.

Goosebumps popped up everywhere as his hands rested against her waist.

“Kelly.”

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

There went her heart again; it was beating faster than a rabbit could run.  She tried to ignore the sensations running through her body, the ache between her thighs, but it was difficult.

Nick drove her crazy in ways he’d never know.

And she really wanted to keep it that way.

For her children’s sake.

I can’t care about another man right now.  Justin isn’t ready for something like that.

And neither was she.

Right?

“Y-yes?”

The sweet tea was quickly forgotten as he turned her around and gazed down at her, his eyes—those beautiful eyes—were full of heat, and something else.  

“I’m sorry about earlier.” He kept his voice soft.  “I wanted to kiss you—more than you’ll ever know.”

“Oh, that?” She asked, nonchalantly. “It’s not a big deal.  Seriously.  Don’t even worry about it.”

“It’s a big deal to me.” He pulled her away from the counter, crushing her to his hard chest.

A small squeak escaped her as he dipped his head down and kissed her until her lungs began to ache.

“
You’re
a big deal to me.” He nuzzled his nose against her cheek.  “I really am sorry.  Will you forgive me?”

I shouldn’t.

“Only this once.” She heard herself whisper. 

“Thank you.”

What the hell?  When had her brain gotten so stupid?  She was
supposed
to be mad at him.  She was
supposed
to be vowing off relationships until Justin was legally an adult.  Why, oh why, couldn’t her heart understand that?

Nick’s lips ghosted over hers, promising the kiss she’d missed out on earlier.

I don’t want that kiss anymore
.

Lie.

Relationships are nothing but trouble anyway.  He’s wasting his time, and mine.

Lie.

An anxious pant of breath escaped him and slid into her open, eager mouth.  Tiny sparks of excitement crackled to life over every nerve ending she possessed, her knees became nonexistent.  Grasping the edge of the counter, she only prayed she wouldn’t succumb to such petty, human desires.

I don’t want you anymore, Nicholas Laveau.  You missed your window of opportunity.

Yet, as his palm molded to the side of her face and he tilted her head back, she knew that wasn’t true.

Deep down, hidden beneath the heartache of loss and the stresses of a mother trying to do her very best, was a young woman longing to be loved again.

His lips touched against hers lighter than a feather, so gentle that she in fact would have missed it had she not been paying attention.  This man, with fingers so rough and callous from years of making things work again, was jumpstarting her heart and evoking emotions she’d buried when Patrick died.

“We can’t do this.” Her confession was barely inaudible as she turned her head away and closed her eyes.  “This...it can’t happen.”

“Why not?” He sounded so surprised.

Why was he so surprised?

“I just...can’t.” A painful lump formed in her throat and she did her very best to swallow it back into place.

My son isn’t ready for another man to be in my life.  I have to think of him.

“Kelly, what’s the matter?”

“It’s...complicated.”

She slipped away from his grasp and darted to the doorway, just in case she needed a quick escape.

Inviting him over at such a late hour had definitely been a bad idea.

I want him.

But that didn’t matter; it couldn’t matter.  Her children would always come first.  Whatever desires she had, they’d just have to wait.

If Justin wasn’t comfortable with the idea of a stranger coming into their lives then neither was she.

But Nick isn’t a stranger to me.

A great war was waging between her mind and her heart.  Meeting Nick’s gaze and seeing the confusion in his eyes only made her feel worse.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you today, Kelly.  I’ve got a good explanation for it if you’ll just listen to me. Really, this is—”

“Don’t come near me.” She held a hand out towards him when he stepped forward, as if it would somehow help.  “Just stay where you are.”

“Kelly...”

God, even the way he said her name made her want to do bad things. 
Everything
about him was sexy.

And just beyond her reach.

“Look, Nick.  This may be difficult for you to understand, but we can only be friends.  Nothing more can happen between us, at least not for a few more years.”

“What?”

“Just a few more years, about nine or so.”

God that sounded ridiculous in her mind.  Was she really asking him to wait for her?  To wait nearly a decade?

“Or not. I mean, I guess that’s a little silly, isn’t it?  You can do whatever the hell you want.  I just...” Her breathing grew shallow as her feelings for him began to overwhelm her.  Just the thought of having Nick walk out of her life caused panic to seize her. 

Why?

“Where is this coming from?” In spite of her request, he moved in like a spider eyeing its next meal, and she was tangled in an invisible web, unable to move.  One of his hands quickly found one of hers and a frown shadowed his handsome features. “You’re shaking like crazy.”

Of course, she was shaking like crazy.  He had no idea how many thoughts were running through her mind at the moment.

Hell,
she
had no idea either.

“I just can’t do this.  We can’t do this.  Whatever little game you’re playing...it has to end.”

“Game?” His tone became one of offense.  “You think I’m playing a game with you?”

“N-no.  Not necessarily. I mean, I’m just saying
if
it’s a g-game.”

Stammering? Since when did she stammer?  She hadn’t had that problem since her freshman year of high school.

Damn you.  You’re doing this to me.

Nick did a lot of things to her if she really wanted to be honest about it.  He made her nervous and happy and ridiculously aroused, all at the same time.

But it had to stop, didn’t it?  Justin had gotten his point across; he wasn’t interested in his mother having a new man in her life.  He wanted to be the only one.

I don’t want him to resent me.

Nick’s free hand moved to the side of her neck, fingers kneading at the tense muscles.  Her body instantly calmed and her brain threatened to shut down as she sighed contently.

“You’re thinking too much, Kelly.” His voice echoed in her mind.  “I don’t know what’s got you so out of sorts, but believe me when I say none of this has been a game.  I don’t play games.”

Damn.  It would have been so much easier to force him out of her life if he’d admitted
some
of it had been a game.  But even she knew better than that.  Nick was a good-hearted man.  He’d allowed a complete stranger into his home—and one with a bad reputation at that. 

He cared about Devin when no one else gave two shits.

He’d fixed her pipes, and God only knew what else he had up his sleeve with the ‘secret project’ in her basement.

Nick had given her a taste of the happiness she’d once felt when she was with Patrick; something she’d been certain she’d never feel again.

Justin and Jamie would always be her first priorities in life, but what if there was a chance she could somehow inch Nick into the picture?  What if she showed Justin it wasn’t as terrible as he’d already made it out to be in his mind?

She sighed inaudibly and slumped against the doorframe, unsure of what she was supposed to do. 

“Talk to me, Kelly.  Tell me what’s going on.”

I want to.

“If this is about earlier...”

“Not entirely.”

“But a little bit, maybe?”

“Just a little bit.  Kind of.”

“Then let’s talk about it.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the kitchen table.  Pulling a seat out for her, he waited for her to sit down.

“It’s really just something I have to think about.” She started, sitting down and peering up at him.

“Well, can you at least give me a chance to talk you out of it? Whatever it is, I mean.” He slid down on the chair across from her and rested an elbow against the table, the muscles in his forearm causing her to think totally inappropriate things.

A vision of those muscles dancing due to a...strenuous activity...made her squeeze her thighs together and she squirmed in her seat.

Nick, totally oblivious to her dirty imagination, stroked his thumb across his jawline and frowned.

Oh.  Shit.  She was supposed to be talking, wasn’t she?

“I found out why Justin was so rude to you earlier.”

“Okay.”

“And as it turns out, he’s not really fond of the idea of me remarrying, let alone dating someone.”

“I see.” Leaning back in his chair, Nick nodded.  His eyes wandered about and his jawline flexed as he released a hum.

“Yes.  So I’m sure you’ll understand why I’ve decided not to let this go any further.  You and me...”—she waved her hands in the air, a bad habit—“we can’t work.  We should get out while the getting’s good.”

“Totally.” He nodded enthusiastically.  “We should definitely get out.  Just quit.  Cold turkey, right?”

“Exactly.” Folding her arms across her chest, she gave one firm nod and then sighed.  “Cold turkey works for me.”

“Oh, yeah.  Me, too.”

“Good.  So we can just be friends and that won’t be so bad.” She was totally lying to herself, but it was the only solution she could come up with.  It was the only option she had.

“And we wait nine years?”

“Yes.  When Justin turns eighteen he’ll be free to do as he pleases, and so will I.”

“Nine years isn’t so long.” He stood from the table and circled around to her side.  His fingertips traced over the backs of her shoulders and he stopped suddenly, causing her heart to run rampant once more.  “Nine whole years.”

“Well, not exactly.  Justin turns ten in—”

His fingers gripped her chin and pulled her head back, and the next thing she knew, he was kissing her.

He was kissing her in a way that must’ve been illegal.  She was dizzy and warm and dying, all at the same time.

His tongue slid into her mouth and swirled around hers, and then he groaned, sending vibrations all the way to her very core.

God help her, she couldn’t take it.

The room began to spin as he lifted her up from her chair and she wrapped her legs around his waist.  Sweet Lord, she could feel every inch of him.

“I can’t wait nine years, Kelly.” He growled against her lips.  Setting her down on the countertop, he opened her robe with a quick tug and her nipples instantly hardened.  “Nine years is too long.  I’m not a patient man.”

“Oh, I...” The ability to speak was long gone.  All hope of convincing him, they couldn’t possibly work vanished when he leaned in and latched his lips onto the side of her throat.

He acted like he was starving and she was the first meal he’d had in days, licking and nipping at her sensitive skin as his hands began to roam.

Yes,
her mind pleaded. 
Please touch me.

It had been so long – too long.

“Nick.” His name fell from quivering lips as she tried to keep her eyes open.  Her mind fogged over and her body heated to extreme levels.  Desire, so foreign yet familiar, flooded her veins and caused her to finally give in.  “Please.”

“Please, what?” His voice grew raspy. 

“Please don’t stop.”

He pushed on her shoulders gently until she leaned back, supporting her weight on her palms.  He kissed down to her collarbone, slowly, taking his time.  His tongue traced over every inch of exposed skin and she shivered in delight.

“So delicious,” he murmured, and then he hooked a finger into the thin strap of her nightgown, tugging it down her shoulder.  “You drive me wild, Kelly Spencer.”