The Lost and Found (35 page)

Josiah leaned up and claimed my mouth again; he couldn’t seem to get enough. His hands travelled my body, igniting me and yet calming me at the same time. In a haze I leaned back again and leisurely reached for the bottom hem of my shirt, slowly I began to lift it, pulling it upward. Josiah seized my wrists, holding them tightly in his grip. “No.
No
, Little Red. I’m not doing this with you. We’re not going there.”

“I want to. I want you,” I whispered, desire evident in my voice.

“No,” he growled back at me, heat flashing in his eyes.

“Please, Josiah. Please.”

“Crimson Sage — I love you — and because I love you I’m stopping this right now, right here. Physically you may be feeling this, needing this.” I nodded at him, desperation showing on my face. “But, I also know your reasons for waiting, and we’re going to wait. I’m going to honor that. I’m going to honor
you
.” He was speaking calmly, firmly, trying to reason with me, with himself.

I was so physically frustrated right now I almost cried; as it was I growled, “But, you
want
this. I can tell you do. Please, Josiah…” I wanted him so bad.
Needed
him so bad.

“You have
no idea
how much I want this, but Crimson,
I want you more
. I almost lost you a week ago. I’m not taking that risk again.” Josiah rolled me over again, this time he was above me, holding me down, holding my wrists so I was unable to move, unable to entice him further than I already had. I trembled and shuddered with my need. My eyes beseeched him, my mouth begged him, but Josiah wouldn’t budge.

Firmly resolved, he lay down beside me and folded me in his arms, lacing my fingers with his, turning my back to him, holding me until the trembling stopped, until my breathing was under control. And then he held me for the rest of the night while I slept. Keeping me safe, protecting me, even from myself.

When I finally woke up the next morning and met Josiah’s dark blue gaze I felt the heat of embarrassment flash through me and quickly ducked my head. He pulled my face up and waited for me to open my eyes. “Don’t hide from me, please,” he whispered.

Taking a deep breath I faced him and met his gaze. “I’m not sure what came over me last night. I’m sorry I put you through that.”

“I’m not. At all. My only regret is not being able to give you what you wanted, not being in the right… position.” He chuckled and shook his head.

“Uh, I’m not sure what you were thinking about, but our
positions
were just fine for what I was after.”

“Oh, well, if you’re just talking good old-fashioned steamy sex, then yeah, we were right on target, but you see, Little Red, I don’t just want to have sex with you — I mean I do — I really,
really
do, but before we get to that part, I need to make love to you several times first. I need you to know that what we’re doing is not just sex, but something so much more.”

“Oh,” I blushed. “Okay…”

“You see, there’s a difference,” he grinned as he kissed my nose. “I’ve had sex before and it never meant anything, because I didn’t really love those girls. We just… used each other’s bodies.” Josiah shifted so that he was above me, looking down into my eyes. I watched as the blue in his eyes turned to liquid heat. “I love
you
and I want to make sure that
you
know that no matter what kind of sex we have, no matter how hot and heavy, no matter how much I intend to drive you crazy… I’ll be making love to you the whole time. We won’t just be having sex. We’ll be making love. That’s a promise.”

His comment about hot and heavy sex affected me in two ways. One, it made my blood boil in anticipation, and the other made me think of the comments that Charlene had made about Josiah. I took a deep breath and then exhaled. “Charlene said when you had sex it was hard, hot, and heavy…”

Josiah’s blue eyes narrowed in anger. “Again, she was lying. She has no idea. At least, she has no first-hand experience. She’s speculating at best.”

“So, you’re not hot and heavy when… you know…?”

He chuckled darkly as he leaned down to tease my mouth, and said, “You’ll have to be the judge of that and let me know.”

“Which is what I was trying to learn last night,” I said in exasperation.

“Yes, but last night you weren’t my wife. And no matter how hot and heavy things get between us now, you won’t learn about that side of me until we’re married. But I do promise to do all that I can to make it a highly memorable and enjoyable experience for you when the time comes.”

I sucked in a ragged breath and shivered. “You promise?”

“I guarantee it. If you want to scream. I’ll make you scream.”

“Oh, dear God…”

“We belong together, Crimson,” he kissed me again, just lightly before pulling back and rolling out of bed. “Now, if I remember correctly, we have somewhere to be this morning. Some big guy named Pete, who I hear sired those three I met last night, wants to threaten me, and serve us breakfast. So we need to get going. You’re far too tempting for my peace of mind right now, so I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be locking the door, and you should have plenty of hot water when I’m done, as my shower will be ice cold.”

I was still laughing when I heard the shower turn on.

An hour later we were heading to Pete’s. Tanner had his Jeep with him, so Gracie and Sawyer rode with him. I went with Josiah in his rental car, which turned out to be a glossy black Camaro. Pete’s was typically busy, but we weren’t in any rush. We stood in line and just enjoyed the morning and each other’s company.

“I say we spend the day on the beach, do a little swimming, and then BBQ tonight. Who’s in?” Gracie asked as we were getting closer to the counter and Pete.

He’d spotted us as we arrived and gave us a friendly wave, though his dark brown eyes were all over Josiah, sizing him up. Josiah took it all in stride and didn’t let it bother him. He lifted our entwined hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles.

“Good morning, Pete,” I smiled as we finally reached the counter.

Pete smiled his big smile and returned the greeting. “What can I get you this morning?” he asked.

We placed our orders for the coffees and then for some of Carol’s pastries as well. Tanner found us a table outside and we sat down to wait. We didn’t wait long however as both Pete and Carol approached with our order; I saw her admonishing Pete to behave. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. Josiah stood as they reached us and waited for Pete to disperse the drinks, and then he stuck his hand out in greeting. I stood beside him and said, “Pete, Carol, this is Josiah. Josiah, meet Pete and Carol.”

Carol stepped forward and gave me a hug and then reached for Josiah as well. Pete shook Josiah’s hand and continued to eye him carefully. “We heard a lot about you last night. Seemed to think you were man enough to take on my boys and then some.”

I groaned inwardly at the challenge I heard in Pete’s voice, but Josiah seemed unfazed by it. He chuckled and said, “Well if they, or anyone else was foolish enough to get between me and my girl, they’d have to learn the hard way.”

“Big man, huh?” Pete asked.

“When I need to be.”

“Big enough to take me on?”

I began to panic at the route the conversation was going. “Pete,” I gasped.

“You or anyone else. It doesn’t matter to me. Nothing is coming between Crimson and me again,” Josiah told him.

Pete studied him quietly for a minute, and then a slow smile spread across his face. “And, that’s the way it should be.”

Pete pulled me close and kissed the top of my head. “She’s like a daughter to us, a daughter we never had. So, don’t be too harsh on us for worrying about her.”

“Nah, it’s good. Thanks for looking out for her,” Josiah said as they shook hands again. Pete had to get back behind the counter; he said the boys would find us and that he’d see us later. Carol kissed my cheek before following him back inside.

“That went well.” Gracie smiled.

“Could’ve been way worse,” Tanner agreed. “Pete took
me
around the back and lectured me long and hard about the hazards of messing with his girl.”

Tanner leaned over to kiss Gracie on the cheek. I smiled as she blushed happily. My eyes closed briefly as I sank back into my chair and sipped my coffee, just enjoying the moment. Josiah tugged a lock of my hair, and when I met his gaze gave me a smile to show me we were all right. After breakfast we cleaned up our table and decided to walk along the storefronts.

I asked Josiah how long he was staying and he grinned. “As long as you’re here, I’ll be here.”

“Well, I guess we’re leaving in six days.” I smiled up at him.

“Six days in paradise with you? I’ll take it.”

Josiah

WAKING UP WITH CRIMSON
beside him had been heaven. Absolute heaven, especially after the hell he’d endured these last couple of weeks when she was gone. Josiah watched her as she slept, memorizing her all over again. The way the morning light kissed her hair, her skin, her lips. He enjoyed her breaths, happy to hear the slow, peaceful whisper as she breathed in and out.

He listened to the sound of her heart as it beat in her chest and thought it was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard — aside from her saying she loved him.

This was right. She was right. And essential. He was never going to let her go, not ever again.

Crimson Sage

WE HUNG OUT IN
town, stopping in different stores to look around; I ended up getting Ethan a t-shirt and Billy a new ball cap. Tanner, Sawyer, and Gracie headed back to the house and told us they’d meet us there. When we got back to the beach house Sawyer was sitting on the porch steps; he waved at us as we pulled up. We carried our bags up the steps and to our room. I didn’t see Gracie or Tanner anywhere. The door to the spare room was closed so I assumed they’d wanted some privacy and Sawyer had escaped the house to give it to them.

“You and Sawyer were an item,” Josiah stated as he closed the door to our room. I took a deep breath. He hadn’t asked a question, had simply made a statement.

“Before I moved to Idaho we’d gone on a couple dates.”

“Just a couple?”

“Yes.” I nodded seriously as I sat on the bed, hoping he wasn’t concerned, and as Josiah sat beside me I said, “You have nothing to worry about. At all.”

“I’m not worried,” he assured me — not out of conceit, but simply sure knowledge. “I just noticed the way he watches you is all. Like I noticed Fynn last night.”

“You’re very observant. I never knew Fynn had liked me.”

“They look at you the way I look at you.”

“Hmm… well I guess their looking doesn’t affect me the way you do.”