Riley also noted many of the females spent a
good deal of time looking at Peitar. She determined then, that
Peitar was likely an attractive male, like Leili’s male. She did
not consider whether she found him so, because that was clearly a
human thing and important in whether the males and females paired
up or not. It was not something that had anything to do with
gemengs.
The sky was darkening.
Riley and Jillia leant against the dormitory
Jillia called home, chatting amiably.
Jillia was difficult to track down during
classes. Riley, wishing to continue her only gemeng friendship, had
started visiting Jillia at the dormitories. As Razra had reacted
well to her visiting him at home (though she’d had a weak
invitation to continue the friendship from him) she’d decided to
try with Jillia as well and had at first come to the dormitories
uninvited.
‘Do you know any other gemengs from
outside?’ Riley was asking. She faced away from the forest. If she
looked at the forest, she couldn’t talk. The forest became
everything.
‘Hmm? There are some, I’m not allowed to
talk to them though.’ Jillia replied.
‘Can I talk to them?’
‘Why?’ she asked.
‘I want to know if they have arms that can’t
move, and how they fight if they do.’
Jillia shrugged. ‘I know where one is.’ she
stood straight, moving away from the wall. ‘Yes, alright, let’s go
talk to an outsider.’
They walked three dormitories down. Inside
it was dark. During the evening most of the gemengs gathered
outside. The stars and moon made outside lighter than inside.
Jillia walked a little way into the
dormitory, Riley following. Riley could see there were a few people
in here, seemingly asleep.
Jillia padded softly down to the end of the
room where a curtain was drawn.
‘Mr Bogresh?’ she called softly.
There was a slight tremor in her voice.
She didn’t call again. There was no
response. She began edging back.
Then, the curtain was drawn back suddenly
and silently. A dark shape loomed before them.
Jillia froze.
‘What?’ he asked, whispering without needing
to get too close to anyone’s ear. His voice was gruff.
Seeing Jillia was having trouble speaking,
Riley asked in a whisper, ‘Are you from outside Astar?’
Riley’s eyes had adjusted well to the dark
and she saw a flash of white teeth bared in a grin that was more
snarl. She resisted the urge to bare her teeth back. Aerlid had
done too good a job at teaching her not to snarl.
‘I am.’
‘Can you move your arm?’ she asked. She was
a little surprised that an outsider had taken a family name.
Perhaps he was trying to fit in.
‘I move it well enough.’ he bared his teeth
again.
Again, Riley resisted the urge to snarl.
‘What’s it like?’ Jillia suddenly asked.
‘Out there?’
The man snorted and shifted on his mat.
Riley could make out one very muscular arm.
The other she could not see.
‘Sit.’ he grunted suddenly.
Jillia immediately plopped to the ground.
Riley might have thought she’d been hit if she hadn’t known better.
At a more reasonable pace, Riley also sat.
‘You’re a young one, aren’t you? Family been
here a few generations?’ he asked in his gruff and growly
voice.
Jillia nodded then said ‘yes,’ when she
realised he might not be able to see.
He grunted. ‘You young ones always complain
about how the humans treat you here.’ he grumbled. ‘Then you sneak
away from your parents and aunts and uncles and ask me, as if you
expect me to tell you about a wonderful place where the gemengs are
in charge and everything’s all great.’
‘Well you shouldn’t have come. You’re
parents are right to keep you away from me. And you’re wrong about
outside, about here. You wouldn’t last ten minutes in the outside.
You’d be killed, or made a slave. Anyone who’s stronger than you,
and there’s always someone, you’re at their mercy. And they have
none. And everyone’s afraid. Afraid someone stronger will come
around the corner, afraid someone they thought was weaker will turn
out to be not so weak as they thought.’
‘Astar’s a paradise. And you don’t even know
it, you ungrateful little wretches.’
Jillia was silent. She swallowed. Trembled.
Then she looked at Riley. ‘Where would you go? If you could
choose?’ her voice was hoarse.
Riley, chagrined, thinking she’d done Jillia
a disservice when she’d told her the tale about the gemeng village
said, reluctantly, ‘here. They pushed me out of a tree.’
‘What?’
‘The children. They pushed me out of a
tree.’
Jillia’s mouth was agape, a darker hole in
the darkness.
‘You’re from outside?’ almost not
recognizing the voice, for it held nothing but curiosity now and
none of the gruff growly snarliness, Riley realised Mr Bogresh was
talking to her.
‘Yes.’ she said.
‘You asked about my arm?’
‘Yes. I’ve heard the gemengs who come from
outside often can’t use one of their arms. I wanted to know how you
fight.’
‘And your arm, you can move it?’
‘Yes.’ she trailed off, unsure if he would
ask more.
He shifted again, another flash of teeth.
Riley saw then he did have another arm, but it was small, tiny
compared to the other.
‘I manage.’ he said, baring his teeth
again.
Getting outside was a relief. Suddenly, they
realised how tense they’d been in there.
‘You didn’t tell me that.’ Jillia said,
‘when I asked.’
Riley uneasy, didn’t say anything.
‘Tell me truly, what was it like?’
‘I wasn’t in the village long.’ she said
awkwardly. ‘Most of the time we didn’t see any gemengs or humans.
That time was good.’
‘So if you could go back to that…?’
Riley shrugged. She thought of the way the
forest tugged at her. No, she never wanted to go back to a gemeng
village. But the forest? She didn’t want to think about that.
‘He was scary.’ Jillia said. ‘If all the
gemengs from outside are like that…’
‘He broke the earth.’ Riley said suddenly.
‘Olef punched the earth and it broke, all the way to our pot.’
‘What?’
Riley tried to explain.
When she had, Jillia asked about the
village. So Riley tried to explain the look of the houses, the
people. She even mentioned the ehlkrid deer.
Jillia was silent for a long time.
Riley looked at her earnestly, she didn’t
like this silence.
‘Not much of a choice is it? I guess Astar
really is the best place to be.’
Riley didn’t like that tone. It worried her.
It upset her.
‘It was good,’ she said uneasily. ‘When we
were alone. You can travel and not meet any gemengs. I was… I was
happy then.’
There was silence for a long time.
‘Good night, Riley.’ Was all Jillia said
when she finally spoke, before walking back to her dormitory. Riley
upset, watched her go.
The next few days were difficult. Every
gemeng she saw, she looked anxiously for any signs of what she’d
heard in Jillia’s tone. Geilar didn’t seem to suffer in the same
way as Jillia. Riley spent a long time watching him, more time than
usual. He noticed and asked if he had something on his face. But he
seemed fine. Mostly, everyone seemed fine.
But perhaps her lie was true for them.
Perhaps they were good at hiding it.
It was only Maztar who looked like Jillia
sounded. Riley watched him when their units trained together. When
she saw him she felt sad. It was a gripping sadness that clenched
the stomach, clouded the head, heavied the heart and made her eyes
feel watery. But there was nothing she could do so she just noted.
And that made her even sadder.
When Peitar took her to show her his plane
again, Riley said to him, ‘the gemengs aren’t happy here.’
Surprise flashed across his face. ‘Isn’t
that sweet, worried about the gemengs. You don’t need to worry
about them though.’
‘I don’t?’ she asked, wondering if this
human saw it too.
‘Yeah,’ he shrugged. ‘They’re fine.’
‘No-’ she shook her head.
‘Come now.’ he put his hands on her
shoulders and she didn’t notice. ‘Don’t worry about them.’
‘But-’
Riley was too busy trying to talk to notice
the moving closer, closer. Shocked, she froze.
When Peitar moved away she stood stock
still.
‘Come now, don’t tell me you’ve never been
kissed before, a pretty girl like you?’
Riley remained stunned.
He peered at her closely then laughed. ‘Well
I guess that’s a yes, come on now, let me show you the view of the
runway.’
Peitar walked and talked, but Riley paid no
attention, she was busy thinking intently. No matter how she fit
the pieces together they didn’t make sense. That was a human thing
he did. She was a gemeng, and that sort of thing wasn’t for
gemengs. She was different. Wondering if she was missing some
fundamental piece of the puzzle, she rummaged through her vast
stores of notes.
‘Come now, what’s wrong, you haven’t
listened to a word I’ve said.’ Peitar stopped walking, his eyes on
her.
Riley focussed back on him, her green eyes
sharp. Best to ask him. ‘Why did you do that?’
‘Oh,’ his eyebrows rose, ‘well, because I
wanted to. Why? Didn’t you like it?’
Not seeing how that was relevant Riley
blinked in surprise and tried to gather herself and make sense of
this.
He put a hand under her chin and tilted her
head up. ‘Don’t go over thinking this. I wanted to kiss you so I
did. That’s all you need to know.’
Riley frowned, she wasn’t sure she
agreed.
But he did it again, that thing that was
only meant for humans.
‘See? I wanted to so I did. What else do you
need to know?’
‘But-’
He did it again.
He seemed very sure of it.
Perhaps it wasn’t just meant for humans?