The Longing (22 page)

“Where are the oars?” She knelt down and
scraped the sand with a flat rock. “I always kept them in the boat.
The wind must have tipped it up.” Of course it had been four years
since she’d used the tiny rowboat her father had given her, but she
wasn’t about to tell that to Kyle. This was the only beautiful gift
she had left to share with him. “Here they are!” She dug her
fingers beneath one oar and tugged it from the mix of sand, soil,
and rock. “Tip the boat over for me so we can knock the debris out
of it.”

“We are
not
putting that thing in
the water.”

“Why?” Amelia swung to face him. “What are
you afraid of, Kyle? That you might get wet? Or that you might
actually have some fun?”

His head jerked back as if she’d slapped him,
but his eyes filled with challenge and he marched forward and
grabbed the edge of the boat. Well, there was lesson number three.
Give a man food, sex, or a challenge if you want him to do
something for you. She was finally getting the hang of this.

“This is insane.”

Amelia grinned and hauled the other oar out
of sand. “I know, but it’s better than working, isn’t it?”

“You don’t think this is work?” he asked, but
to her surprise, the expression in his eyes was almost teasing.

It took them ten minutes to get the boat into
the water, and another five before Kyle deemed it seaworthy and
they climbed in. The plank seats were so close, Kyle had to plant
his feet on either side of Amelia’s legs and gird her knees with
his thighs. He reached for the oars and Amelia pulled them from his
grasp. “This is your birthday present. Relax and enjoy the
ride.”

“I’m not letting you row.”

“Kyle darling, shut up.”

His eyebrows slashed down and Amelia burst
out laughing. “I knew you couldn’t go an hour without
frowning.”

“I wasn’t frowning. All right, maybe I was,
but you told me to shut up.”

“That’s not half of what I wanted to tell you
this morning when I found out it was not only your birthday but
your mother’s, as well. What on earth are we going to give her for
a gift?”

“I bought a necklace for her when I was in
Philadelphia.”

“Thank goodness. We’ll have to take it by
later.”

Kyle grimaced. “The party starts at seven
o’clock.”

“What party?” Amelia asked, feeling her
stomach tighten in anxiety.

“The one I forgot to tell you about.” Kyle
had the grace to look chagrined and he sat back and braced his
palms along the dirty edges of the boat. “Evelyn’s having a
surprise party for my mother tonight. I was supposed to tell you
yesterday.”

“What?” Amelia gaped at him. “Kyle, how could
you forget something so important?”

His gaze perused her from her hips to her
mouth. “I’ve had other things on my mind.”

Heat burned up Amelia’s neck, but she forced
herself not to turn away. Sunlight and leaf shadows flitted across
Kyle’s hair and shoulders. His eyes caught sparks from the sun and
Amelia admired her husband as she moved the oars through the
water.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Down the river of truth,” she said, then
smiled at him. “As long as I’m rowing, I get to ask you questions
and you have to answer them honestly. If I stop rowing, it’s your
turn to ask questions.”

He snorted. “You won’t last for ten
questions.”

“I’m rowing downstream. Guess who’s rowing
back?”

He laughed and Amelia’s heart flipped. “You
should do that more often,” she said, still mesmerized by his wide
smile and beautiful teeth. “You have a wonderful laugh, and it’s
much more attractive than that frown you’re so attached to.”

“Is that a criticism or a backhanded
compliment?”

“Both, but since I’m rowing that means I get
to ask the questions.”

He laughed again and hope filled Amelia. She
could tell that he liked her sassiness. Kyle admired people with
the nerve to stand up to him as she’d done that day at the mill
when she refused to go home. He’d been sincere during their wedding
reception when he’d said he appreciated a woman’s intelligence. And
ironically enough, for a staid businessman, he seemed to enjoy her
outrageous behavior.

Thank God, because she felt wild today with
the sun and breeze in her face. She would show Kyle her true
personality today, and if it wasn’t enough to ease his
disappointment in her lack of virginity, then in her heart she
would have the comfort of knowing she’d tried to give him
everything she had left.

“At this pace you’re going to row all day,”
he said, but she knew he was picking on her.

“All right, who is the smartest person you
know?”

“Boyd.”

A laugh burst from Amelia and she propped the
oar handles on her knees. “You’re joking of course.”

The boat swung sideways and Kyle grinned.
“You don’t know my little brother. Since he was four years old,
Boyd has been able to manipulate, swindle, or charm his way in or
out of anything. That includes work and paying the bar tab when
he’s the only one drinking. You stopped rowing. It’s my turn.”

“What?” Amelia glanced down at the oars as
Kyle dragged them into his hands, his face inches from hers.

“What is the most daring thing you’ve ever
done?”

She could have said lifting her skirt for
Richard, but that qualified as the stupidest. “Marrying you,” she
said, warning her heart to quit pounding. His eyes locked on hers
and the paddles floated to the surface. “You’re about to lose the
oars, Kyle.” She nodded to the paddles slipping from his lax
hands.

She took back the oars with a sense of pride
for besting him so quickly. “What is the most frightening thing
you’ve ever seen?” Tiny dots of perspiration sprinkled his forehead
and reflected the sunlight as he stared at her. “You have to
answer, Kyle, or you lose the challenge.”

He blinked and straightened his shoulders,
but surprise still lingered in his eyes. “Watching Radford lose
control and think he was back in the middle of the war.”

Amelia reminded herself to pull on the oars.
Radford was the only one of the boys who had gone to war. Evelyn
had never said anything about his trauma, though, and Radford
always seemed so happy and calm when Amelia saw him, it was hard to
believe he was afflicted with something so awful. “Does he still
suffer like that?” she asked.

“He seems better, but he might still have
nightmares about the war. They don’t say and I don’t ask.”

“I’m sure it’s kinder not to,” Amelia said,
scouring her mind for something to make Kyle laugh. She wanted to
lighten the moment and break through his rigid control, but nothing
crossing her mind seemed outrageous enough to work. “If you could
visit any place in the world, where would you go?”

“California, to see the redwood trees.”

Amelia snorted. “Of course you’d take a
vacation where you could look at more trees.”

“Well, where would you go?” he asked.

“It’s not your turn, but I’ll answer anyhow.
I would visit the ocean. I love the water. I spent my summers
paddling down this creek in my boat, and when that got too lonely,
I’d trail after Papa at the mill until it was time to go home for
supper. What’s your favorite time of the year?”

“That’s a boring question.”

“You’re right,” she said with a nod. “I meant
to ask, what’s my deadline for consummating our marriage?”

His eyes shot open and he gaped at her.

“I don’t expect you to wait forever, Kyle. I
just felt we needed time to get comfortable with each other. I want
to laugh with you before I make love with you.”

He braced his fists beside him on the plank
seat. “Are you saying you’re comfortable with me?”

“No,” she said softly, “but I’m hoping to be
soon.”

“How soon?” He leaned forward, his eyes
growing dark.

She met his intense stare, the oars forgotten
in her hands. “How soon does it have to be?” she asked, praying he
would give her a few more days.

His mouth hovered inches from her own. “Now
would be a good answer.”

Amelia gripped the oars. “Then answer one
more question for me. Do you think you can ever learn to care for
me?”

“Yes.” He slipped the oars from her hands.
“Now answer my question. Are you afraid of me?”

She opened her mouth to say no, but she’d
promised him the truth. She
was
afraid. With nothing more
than a kiss or a touch, he had the ability to make her lose
control. Her feelings were involved now and she was afraid of
getting hurt again. Amelia met his eyes. “Yes. I’m afraid. A
little.”

“Why?” He leaned forward and brushed her
temple with his lips. “When are you afraid?”

“When you make me feel like this.”

He lowered his mouth to her neck and Amelia’s
eyes fluttered closed. “What are you feeling now?” he asked, his
breath warm against her ear.

“Tense.” Her chest shuddered as she drew a
breath. “Shaky.”

“I feel that way, too.” He kissed the corner
of her mouth. “My heart is pounding just as hard as yours,
Amy.”

She drew back, wondering if Kyle had just
called her by another woman’s name.

He clutched the oars in one hand and brushed
the back of his knuckles across her cheek. “I think of a softer
name when I look at you. Amy suits you.” He lowered his head, his
lips a breath away from hers. “Am I entitled to a birthday
kiss?”

“Yes,” she whispered, and he kissed her.

The seductive swirl of his tongue made Amelia
forget they were in a rotted little boat in the middle of Canadaway
Creek where any passerby could see them.

Kyle’s shoulders tensed as he dragged the
oars into the boat, but he didn’t stop kissing her. He took it
deeper, slower, until Amelia felt her bones melt and raw, needy
desire burn through her body.

He circled her waist and tugged her toward
him. She half stood to shift herself onto his lap—and the bottom
dropped out of her world.

Literally.

Her foot burst through the rotted bottom of
the boat and she fell backward as water gushed in around her shin
like a small geyser.

Kyle gripped her waist and glanced down to
see what had happened.

Amelia struggled for a few frantic seconds
before she was able to wiggle her foot out of the huge, gaping
hole. She glanced at the shore and knew there was no way they were
going to be able to row her boat ashore before it filled with
water. “Please tell me you can swim,” she said, glancing at Kyle,
but he sat there staring at the burbling water like a boy who’d
just had his favorite toy ripped out of his hands.

“I don’t believe this!” he said, and Amelia
couldn’t hold back her laugh. He swung a disbelieving look at her.
“What the hell’s so funny? We’re going to sink!”

She was soaked to her calves and the water
outside the boat was within inches of sweeping over the sides, but
she crouched there and laughed because Kyle’s expression was so
boyish and vulnerable it was precious. “Come on, Captain. It’s out
of fashion to go down with the ship.”

“I told you this damned thing wouldn’t
float.”

“Don’t complain.” She grabbed his hand and
pulled him to his feet, trying to be careful not to break through
the bottom of the boat again. “You got a birthday kiss out of it,
didn’t you?”

He snorted and jumped from the boat with
her.

“Holy
Christ!” Kyle gasped and swept his hair out of his eyes. “There’s
still ice in this water!”

Amelia laughed. The ice had melted over a
month ago, but the lakes and creeks in New York were still frigid
in June. Despite being cold, the water felt exhilarating to Amelia.
“Take off your shoes,” she said, bobbing in the water, fumbling
with the laces on Evelyn’s hand-me-down work boots. As the first
boot sank, she yanked off her stocking and tugged at her other
boot. “Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to do something like
this?”

Kyle swirled his arms at his sides to keep
his head above water. “Our muscles will freeze up before we can
make it to shore.”

“We’ll make it.” She dropped the other boot
into the cold depths and swam toward Kyle with her jaw quivering.
“Every day of the last four years I’ve wanted to do something
outrageous, to feel alive. Teachers aren’t allowed to have fun.”
She stopped in front of him. “Lie back and lift your foot.” When he
hesitated, she shoved his shoulder. “Come on, I can’t tread water
all day. Your boots will only slow us down.”

Kyle floated on his back, fanning his arms
while Amelia jerked his laces open and tugged off his boots and
stockings. He stared at her, unable to believe he’d let her get him
into that damned boat.

“Let’s go,” she said, her eyes sparkling and
face radiant with the thrill of their unexpected adventure. “I’ll
race you.”

He snorted and stroked hard to catch her,
willing his cold arms and legs to function, praying with each hard
stroke that Amelia would be able to make it on her own because he
wasn’t sure he could last long enough to help her.

“Last one to shore fills the bathtub,” she
said, her breath coming in hard pants as she kept her body one
stroke ahead of Kyle.

“Do you have to talk about a hot bath when
I’m freezing my ba—my important parts off?”

Her laughter mixed with the sound of
splashing water and Kyle snorted. If they made it to shore he would
gladly fill the tub.

“I like my bathwater really deep and hot,
Kyle.”

The thought of anything hot and deep cramped
Kyle’s stomach and he was glad his privates were too numb to react.
He stroked hard until he was beside Amelia. “Are you doing all
right?” he asked, fearing the weakness spreading through his own
body might be affecting her, as well.

“Get that look off your face,” she said,
panting and moving her arms in jerky arcs through the water. “I
intend to get that bath and I’m not going to carry those buckets
myself.”