The Long Way Home (13 page)

"Where did I leave off?" Jill said she didn't want to leave anything out.

"You had just asked me if I loved my boyfriend Todd." Ruthie said now completely enthralled in what this was all about.

"Oh yeah, the reason I ask that is because I was once in love and ever since then I haven't been able to love again. I wanted to know if he was the first man that you had ever truly fallen in love with." Jill said.

"No there was this one guy named Acey that I was in love with when I was in high school. But then once he got what he wanted he dumped me and I thought he was the biggest jerk in the world and I never wanted to see him again." Ruthie sipped her coffee in anticipation of what was about to unfold.

"I thought I would call and see how you are doing up there." Mike said he was happy; he hadn't talked to Grey in months.

"Oh, I am so glad you called. I was thinking of calling you, I wanted to know if you, Charlotte and the kids wanted to come up over the holidays. I haven't sent the two little ones in almost a year now." Grey loved Mike and his family. They had two kids the youngest one was James he was 2 and half now and Jessica was almost 5.

"Yeah I'm sure Charlotte would love to go she likes not having to cook all that stuffing over this time of year." Mike knew that Charlotte liked going to see Grey. She was always worried about him being out there all alone.

"Will you have anyone over this year?" Mike said trying to see if Grey had gotten a girl yet.

"No but don't worry this year I promise I won't burn the turkey this Thanksgiving. I've been practicing a lot and my dog seems to like it as much as I do. Besides you know that the only woman for me is Jessica she has stolen my heart. I got them some killer presents this year, so it's a good thing you called because I was going to send them tomorrow in the mail. I am going to get the biggest tree in all of Montana this year." Grey had taken up cooking as a hobby because he got tired of eating out all the time. He loved spoiling Mike's kids; he loved to see their faces light up.

"I really wish you wouldn't spoil them so much they already have so much stuff that they don't play with, they don't need more. And there is no way you can have Jessica she is way out of your league. And besides that I think you have some competition this time. Bobby Weaver from school gave her a Valentines Day card this year at school and she's sweet on him." Mike loved Grey; he was always fun to talk to.

"That's it I'm coming down, I'm going to kill him where is he I'll kill him. I'll shove his little Osh Kosh overalls where the sun doesn't shine." Grey could hear Mike laughing over the phone and Charlotte in the back ground. Mike put Charlotte on the phone.

"How you doing sweetie, have you been eating? You know I worry about you. All alone up there in the wilderness, I hope you don't fall off your horse or something and there is no one there to help you." Charlotte was always telling Grey to get some nice girl and settle down. Grey was the one laughing now.

"You know I don't even have a horse. And it's not like I'm an old man or something. The only thing that could kill me up here is maybe a renegade tumble weed." Grey loved Charlotte's concern it was comforting to know that someone cared about him still.

"Mike just told me that you want us to come up for Thanksgiving and Christmas." Charlotte loved going up there she could check on Grey and got away from the house. The kids loved him and she didn't have to worry about anything Grey always did everything.

"Yeah, and I was hoping that you guys could even stay through New Years?" Grey said with anticipation.

"Sure, I'll talk it over with Mike and I'll call you tomorrow to give you the specifics. For now why don't you see if you can't convince a nice girl to come over?" Charlotte was being overly optimistic and she knew it.

"Oh wait there is a half naked Swedish masseuse at my door I have to go." Grey said mockingly. Charlotte gave him an unimpressed scoff and hung up.

Grey always joked with Charlotte because she was a housewife she called Grey all the time. They would talk mainly when "Days of Our Lives" was on and debate what was going on. Sometimes they would be on the phone through out the whole show.

Grey, Mike and Charlotte had continued to be friends after high school. After Grey's father died he kept the house he grew up in even though he had moved to Montana. But then when Mike and Charlotte got married he gave it to them as a wedding present that way it wouldn't go to waste. At the time Mike was trying to get his business off the ground and didn't have very much money. Now Mike owns his own chain of pool hall/bars all across the greater Los Angeles area. Mike named his bars after Grey the name of the chain was "Grey Matter" there are now 22 in all.

Grey was excited and was already planning for their arrival to his home. He was going to go out to town tomorrow and buy more presents for every one and all the decorations he would need and then some. He was grinning as he typed his shopping list on his computer.

She wasn't sure but Jill knew that somehow in telling Ruthie everything about Grey and her life would somehow resolve her relentless anxiety.

"So what happen did some a-hole break you heart or what?" Ruthie said she was getting cocky now.

"Sort of it started in my senior year of high school. I realized that I didn't want to be like the other kids who were going to parties all the time I really wanted to become something that I would be proud of. I had decided that I was going to just forget about parties and guys and anything that would distract me from school." Jill pause a moment collecting her thoughts.

"That's always the worst whenever I decided not to do something sure enough I end up doing it anyways." Ruthie could sort of see where this was going.

"You're more right than you know Ruthie. Almost as if the gods had heard me and decided to test me. My best friend came up to me to tell that one of the 'hottest guys' in school had asked her out to 'the party of the year' and that I had to go." Jill was interrupted before she could finish her thought.

"Wait what's you're best friends name again?" Ruthie all of sudden could remember times when a girl would call for Ms. Waters.

"Charlotte I'm sure you've spoken with her before. We still talk every now and then. She cracks me up I love her to death. Why do you ask?" Jill wanted to get back to her story but was intrigued by Ruthie.

"I knew that was her that called sometimes. Only because aside from your mother this Charlotte is the only other personal call that you ever get." Ruthie hoped she didn't offend Jill. It hadn't occurred to Jill until now that she really didn't have a social life. Ruthie's comment had made that abundantly clear and it was startling.

"Anyway I allowed myself to go 'one last time'. Only it wasn't at the party that I fell in love it was after wards when Charlotte wanted to go out with Mike my ex-boyfriends best friend. Charlotte again asked me to go with her on date with Mike. I went again and afterwards Mike brought us to my ex's house. It was there that I lost all sense and fell in love with him." Jill looked down into her cup as if remembering that day had brought Grey back to her.

"If you don't mind me asking what is you ex-boyfriends name?" Ruthie had noticed that Jill had not mentioned it.

"Grey...Grey Malapert." Jill said not looking up. Ruthie chuckled at the name.

"What kind of name is 'Malapert'?" Jill said.

"I think it's Dutch. Honestly I don't really know but I thought the same thing." This was the first time that she had said "Grey" in so long that it sounded almost foreign coming out of her mouth.

Just then the food came and both girls were distracted by the food it wasn't until Jill looked at the food did she realize that she hadn't eaten and was starving.

Ruthie could see that Jill was in her thoughts and decided to wait until she spoke first. It wasn't until Jill had nearly eaten half her breakfast of steak and eggs that she decided to continue with her story.

"Like I was saying I fell in love when I say 'fell' I mean it. After that encounter we ended up spending more and more time with each other. We were the perfect couple. We did every thing together and to make matters worse he was my first." Jill wasn't about to tell her secretary that he was also her last. Ruthie nearly spit out the steak she was trying to chew. Only because Ruthie's first time was when she was fifteen.

"I know I was a 'late bloomer' as they say. But unlike your ex he did not dump me after the first time as a matter of fact we continued to go out through out the rest of the school year. We spent every moment together we could. Over the winter break we went up to Lake Tahoe and rented out a cabin at a local lodge. That whole winter we spent together. It was perfect I thought we loved each other and Grey had totally supported me in my studies and insisted that I do well so that I could get accepted to the school that I wanted. At the end of the school year we continued to see each other through out the summer I moved into his house and everything. It was then that I got accepted to go to Harvard. He promised to move there with me and all was to be well he would get work there and help support me through school. I mean it we had it all planned out.

"We were so busy with our lives and each other that I always expected him to just be there. It was only when he asked me to marry him that I realized that we weren't. I, of course accepted and all was great we were to get married before we left for Boston. It was perfect it couldn't have been better." Jill knew how the rest of the story went she just wasn't ready to say it yet.

"Ms. Waters...I mean Jill I don't understand if everything was so perfect what happened to make you break up with him?" Ruthie was almost afraid to hear the answer. She looked at Jill and could see the tears welling in her eyes.

"Something happened that ended it all something that I haven't spoken of or even thought of for nearly fifteen years now." Jill pause and looked up and Ruthie. Ruthie wanted to go across the void between them and comfort her like she would her own sister. After a beat Ruthie got and moved to the chair next to Jill and scooted it close to Jill and put her hand on her back to make her feel better. Only it didn't work at Ruthie's touch Jill began to let it all out. Ruthie then went over and grabbed Jill by the shoulders and forced her to look at Ruthie.

"I know that it would make you feel better if you just told me. You got this far and the only way to get this over is to just tell all that happened." Jill was shocked at Ruthie's direction. At first Jill hesitated with the idea of continuing.

"Well as I was saying." Jill said regaining herself. "It nearing the time that I had to go to Boston. Everything was being planed for our wedding we wanted it to be big and we wanted everyone we knew to come. My parents were so proud of me they never expected much of me I guess. It was exactly 46 hours and 23 minuets before our wedding was to begin when Grey's..." Jill paused to determine if she could actually say what she was about to. She decided to take Ruthie sound advice and let it out.

"We were in his house in the living room about to watch our last movie together as boyfriend and girlfriend. When the phone rang and someone from the agency where his father works told him that his father had suffered from a shot to the stomach and was in critical condition. They told him where the hospital was and that he could go and see his father and they figured he had about two to three days to live. When Grey hung up the phone he just fell silent and started to pace around the room. I had to drive him to the hospital and as he got out he told me that he didn't know how long he was going to be. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to sound selfish. But I was concerned that his father's death would interrupt our lives I didn't want his father even in death to ruin my life.

"I didn't understand how Grey could love a father that he hardly ever saw. When Grey had told him that he was getting engaged he didn't even have time to talk to me over the phone. This crushed Grey but Grey was confident that his father would love me and that everything would be fine. Only I could see in Grey's eyes that everything was not fine. At the time I did care who his father was I hated him for making Grey feel that way. And at the moment Grey left the car I thought that this was a way for Grey's father to ruin Grey one last time. I didn't want Grey to go and to just stay with me and at the same time I felt bad for even thinking it. I knew that I was being unreasonable but at the time everything was perfect and Grey's father was ruining it.

"The next day I tried to call Grey at the hospital but they wouldn't allow me to talk to him. I tried to get in to the hospital but being that I wasn't a relative I wasn't allowed in as it was now classified as a restricted area. Then on the day our wedding was supposed to be held I was in my gown crying in my mother's bedroom I got a call from Grey asking for the wedding to be postponed for a week or so until they could bury his father. I was so angry that I didn't say anything to anyone I just told everyone that Grey had canceled the wedding. Immediately I packed my things and moved to Boston to start school. I haven't seen or spoke to him since but to make matters worse he never once called me. I always gave my numbers to Charlotte and kept in touch with her hoping he would contact me. But he never did and he has made no attempts to contact me in over fifteen years. Ever since that day the only way that I could forget about him was hate him for everything that he has done to me, but I lied even to myself because I don't think that I ever hated him. He ruined my life. In college I dated plenty of guys but I was always trying to compare them to Grey and none of them ever compared. So after I started my firm I just forgot about men altogether. Do you see how he has destroyed my life? I just want it to end now I don't want to think about him anymore." Jill looked at Ruthie sitting and there was a confused look on her face that Jill couldn't make out the meaning of.