The Lonely Hearts Club

The Lonely Hearts Club

Elizabeth Eulberg

For my beloved EEC.

Especially Dav Pilkey, who was the first person to encourage me to write.

This is all his fault.

I, Penny Lane Bloom, do solemnly swear to never date another boy for as long as I shall live.

All right, maybe I'll reconsider it in ten years or so when I'm no longer living in Parkview, Illinois, or attending McKinley High School, but for now I'm done with guys. They're all lying, cheating scum of the earth.

Yes, every last one of them. Pure evil.

Sure, there are some that seem nice, but the second they get what they want, they'll dump you and move on to their next target.

So I'm done.

No more dating.

The end.

2

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3

Yesterday

love was such an easy game to play ..."

4

[Page Blank]

5

Chapter one

WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD, I walked down the aisle with the man of my dreams.

Okay, make that
boy.
He was five, too.

I'd known Nate Taylor pretty much since birth. Our fathers had been friends since childhood, and every year, Nate and his parents would spend the summer with my family. My baby book was filled with pictures of me and Nate -- taking a bath together as infants, playing in our tree house in the backyard, and -- my favorite -- dressed up as a miniature bride and groom at my cousins wedding. (Soon after, the picture of me in my white dress and Nate in his tux was hung proudly on my bedroom wall.)

Everybody always joked that one day we'd get married for real. Nate and I used to think so, too. We thought we were the perfect couple. I didn't mind playing war with him, and he would even play with my dolls (although he'd never admit it). He'd push me on the swings and I'd help him organize his action figures. He thought I looked pretty with my hair
in
pigtails, and I thought he was cute (even during his brief pudgy stage). I liked his parents, and he liked my parents. I wanted an English Bulldog, and he wanted a Pug. Macaroni and cheese was my favorite food, and it was his favorite food, too.

6

What else could a girl want in a guy?

To me, looking forward to summer was the same thing as looking forward to Nate. As a result, so many of my memories revolved around him:

-My first kiss (in my tree house when we were eight; I punched, him, then cried afterward).

-The first time I held hands (when we got lost during a third-grade scavenger hunt).

-My first Valentine's Day card (a red construction-paper heart with my name on it).

-My first camping trip (Nate and I put up a tent in our backyard when we were ten and spent the entire night out there by ourselves).

-The first time I purposely deceived my parents (I took the train into Chicago by myself to see Nate last year; I told my parents I was spending the night at my best friend Tracy's).

-Our first
true
kiss (fourteen; this time I didn't put up a fight).

After that kiss, my anticipation for summer intensified. We weren't playing make-believe anymore. The feelings were real, they were different. The heart involved wasn't made from construction paper -- it was living, beating . . . real.

When I thought about summer, I thought about Nate. When I thought about love, I thought about Nate. When I thought about anything, I thought about Nate.

7

I knew that this summer it would happen. Nate and I would be together.

The last month of school was unbearable. I starred a countdown clock to his arrival. I took shopping trips with my friends to buy "Nate clothes." I even bought my first bikini with him in mind. I set my work schedule at my dad's dental
office
around Nates work schedule at the country club. I didn't want anything to get in our way.

And then it happened.

He was here.

He was taller.

He was older.

He was no longer cute -- he was
sexy.

And he was mine.

He wanted me. And I wanted him. It seemed that simple.

Soon enough, we were together. Finally, really together.

Only I didn't get the fairy tale I was hoping for.

Because guys change.

They lie.

They stomp on your heart.

I found out the hard way that fairy tales and true love don't exist.

The perfect guy doesn't exist.

And that adorable picture of the innocent miniature bride with the guy who would one day break her heart?

That didn't exist anymore, either,

I watched it burn in flames.

8

chapter Two

It all happened so fast.

It started like every other summer. The Taylors arrived, and the house was bustling with people. Nate and I flirted constantly ... it was the routine we'd been going through for the past few years. Only this time, there were things underneath the flirtation. Like desire. Like the future. Like sex.

Everything I dreamed of started to happen. Nate was perfect to me. The guy I held everyone else up to. The one who always made my heart beat fast and my stomach flip.

This was the summer that my feelings were finally returned.

It started with a couple of dates, nothing big. Just movies, dinner, etc.

Our parents had no idea what was going on, Nate didn't want to tell them, and I went along. He said they'd probably overreact, and I didn't disagree. Even though I knew our parents always wanted us to eventually end up together, I wasn't sure they would've been prepared for us to be together yet. Especially when he was sleeping downstairs in our soundproofed basement.

It was all going so well. Nate said all of the things I wanted to hear. How I was beautiful and perfect, how I made him lose his breath when we kissed.

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I was in heaven.

We kissed. Then we kissed and kissed. Then we kissed some more. But soon that wasn't enough. Soon hands started wandering, clothes started coming off. This was everything that I'd been waiting for... but it seemed fast. Too fast. No matter what I gave him, he wanted more. And I was fighting it. Everything we did turned into a constant struggle over how far I'd go.

It took so long to get to this place, I didn't want to rush
it.
I didn't understand why we couldn't just enjoy the moment, enjoy being together, and not hurry to the next step.

And by next step, I meant physically.

There wasn't a lot of discussion about next steps in terms of our relationship.

After a couple
of
weeks, Nate started talking about how he felt that I was the
one,
his true love. It could all be so amazing, he said, if I just let him love me the way he wanted to.

This was what I'd been fantasizing about for so long. This was what I'd always wanted. So I thought,
Yes, I'll do it. Because it will be with him. And that's what matters.

I decided to surprise him.

I decided to trust him.

I decided to go for
it.

I had everything planned, everything in place. Our parents were going to be out late and we'd have the house to ourselves.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Pen?" Tracy asked me that morning.

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"I know I don't want to lose him," I replied.

That was my reasoning. This was for Nate. This had nothing to do with me and what I wanted. It was all for him,

I wanted it all to be spontaneous, I wanted him to have no idea, and then be overwhelmed with how perfect it (I) was. He didn't even know I was home; I wanted him to think that I was gone for the evening, to make it even more of a surprise. I wanted to show him that I was ready. Willing. Able. I had it all figured out, except what I was going to wear. I snuck into my sister Rita's room and went through her drawers until I found a white silk camisole that didn't leave much to the imagination. I took her red lace robe as well.

When I was finally ready, I crept down the stairs to Nate's room in our basement. I began to untie the robe, feeling a mixture of excitement and pure nervousness. I couldn't wait to see the look on Nate's face when he saw me. I couldn't wait to prove to him how I felt, so he would finally feel the same way.

I started to smile as I turned the lights on.

"Surprise!" I called out.

Nate popped up from the couch with a look of panic on his face.

"Hi ..." I said meekly as I dropped the robe on the floor.

Then a second head popped up from the couch.

A girl.

With Nate,

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I stood frozen, not believing my own eyes, I looked between the two of them as they fumbled for clothing. Finally, I reached for the robe and put it on, trying to cover as much of myself as possible.

The girl started giggling. "I thought you said your sister was gone for the evening!"

His sister? Nate didn't
have
a sister, I tried
to
tell myself there was a good explanation for what I was seeing. There was no way Nate would do something like this to me. Especially
in
my own house. Maybe this girl had been in a car accident right outside and Nate had brought her inside
to
.. . um, comfort her. Or they were just rehearsing a scene from a summer production of.. .
Naked Romeo and Juliet
Or maybe I had fallen asleep, and it was only a nightmare. .. . no.

The girl finished putting on her clothes, and Nate, avoiding my eyes, walked her upstairs.

Such a gentleman.

After what seemed like an eternity, he returned.

"Penny," he said, putting his arms around my waist, "I'm sorry that you had to see that."

I tried
to
speak, but couldn't find my voice.

He ran his arms up to my shoulders and started to rub them through the robe. "I'm sorry, Penny. So sorry. You have to believe me that this was something so stupid. I'm an idiot, A complete idiot."

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I shook my head. "How could you?" The words were barely a whisper, my throat was tight.

He leaned in. "Honestly, it will never happen again. I mean, nothing
did
happen. Nothing. It was nothing.
She
was nothing. You know how much you mean to me. You're the one I want to be with. You're the one I love." He moved his hands down my back. "Maybe this will make you feel better? Tell me what I can do, Penny. I would never want to hurt you."

The shock was slowly wearing off, revealing the anger underneath. I pulled away. "How could you?" I said.
"HOW COULD YOU?"
(I screamed the last part.)

"Look, I already apologized."

"You
APOLOGIZED?"

"P
enny, I'm so sorry."

"SORRY?"

"Please stop doing that and just listen to me, I can explain."

"Fine, then." I sat down on the couch, "Explain."

Nate glanced nervously at me -- clearly he hadn't expected me to actually sit down and listen to what he had to say.

"Penny, that girl is nothing to me."

"Didn't look like it was nothing." I tightened the belt around my robe and grabbed a couch cushion to cover my legs.

Nate sighed. A full-blown sigh. "Oh, here we go with the dramatics," he said. Then he sat down next to me with his arms folded. "Fine --
i£
you aren't going to accept my apology, I don't know what I can do."

13

"Apology?" I laughed. "Do you think saying 'sorry' is going to erase this? I thought you said I was special." I looked down at the floor, ashamed of myself for even bringing it up.

"Penny, you
are
special. But, c'mon, what did you think was going to happen?" Nate's face turned bright red. "I mean, here's the thing. You and I.. . were ... were. .. well, it is what it is ..."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The Nate from just a few short days ago was gone and some ...
beast
had taken his place.

"What does
that mean?"

"Jesus Christ." Nate got up from the couch and started to pace. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. Look at you, sitting there like you did when we were little and didn't get what you wanted. Well, I wanted you for a long time, Penny. A very long time. But even though you think you want me, you don't want
me.
You want your childhood sweetheart version of me. The holding-hands-kiss-on-the-cheek Nate. Well, that Nate grew up. Maybe you should, too."

"But I..."

"What? You what? Put your sisters nightie on? That's child's play, Penny. In your mind, its a perpetual wedding day, no honeymoon, no taking off the wedding dress, nothing. But guess what. People have sex. It's not a big deal."

My body began to shake. It was hitting me.

Nate shook his head. "I should've known better than to get