The Lonely Hearts Club (36 page)

“Maybe,” Reilly said, her voice husky, “being in love, all the way in love, is one of those things you don’t recognize until you feel it.”

“I recognize it now,” Liz said. “Every time I look at you.”

“Me, too.” Reilly cupped Liz’s cheek and kissed her, a slow, deep, possessive kiss. “I’m crazy in love with you.”

“Lie down with me.” Liz shifted away from the edge of the couch and patted the empty spot beside her.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to crowd you.”

“I’ll lie on top of you.”

“Uh…”

Liz grinned. “You can be good, can’t you?”

“It might be a hardship.” Reilly kicked off her running shoes and started to ease down onto the couch.

“Jeans too. It’s hot and it will get hotter with us so close together.”

“You know, I go commando in the OR. Most of us do.”

“Forget it then. You can’t be naked with Candace in the house,” Liz said immediately.

Reilly laughed and popped the button on her jeans.

“Baby, I’m serious,” Liz warned, her gaze riveted to Reilly’s hands. “God I love your body.”

“No touching,” Reilly said as she pushed her jeans down. Underneath, she wore navy blue boxers.

“Oh good,” Liz sighed. “A safety net.”

Reilly stretched out on her back, and Liz curled up half on top of her, her head on Reilly’s shoulder. Reilly ran her hand up and down Liz’s arm. “Comfortable?”

“More than comfortable. Happy.” Liz kissed Reilly’s throat and slipped her hand under Reilly’s scrub shirt to caress her stomach. “I’m crazy in love with you, too, you know.”

“I can’t tell you how good it feels when you say that.” Reilly kissed the top of Liz’s head. “Annie and I were together three years, but I wasn’t her only lover. I didn’t know that at first, because she didn’t think it should make any difference to me. When I did figure it out, she said she loved me, but she didn’t believe in being exclusive.”

“If you’re asking if it would make a difference to me, it would. Both ways.” Liz smoothed her hand higher in slow circles over Reilly’s chest. “I can’t imagine wanting anyone else to make love to me except you. And the thought of someone touching you—God, that hurts.”

“I don’t want anyone except you,” Reilly whispered. She covered Liz’s hand and squeezed gently. “Stop before you get me really turned on.”

“I’m sorry. I just love to touch you.”

“I love you. I hope you never stop wanting me, because I’ll never stop wanting you.”

“What about the baby?” Liz asked quietly. Despite that the moment was wonderful—more special, more exciting than anything she had ever dreamed—this was a dream that came with strings. And as much as she wanted Reilly, she had to know if a real future was possible.

“I want you, and the baby.” Reilly stroked Liz’s belly. “I want to be part of this with you. I want to love you and this child.”

“But you said—”

“Annie always did what she wanted, no matter who it hurt. Including herself.
Usually
herself.” Reilly tilted Liz’s face up. “Annie said she wanted to get pregnant because she was getting older and running out of time. I’ve always suspected that having a child was part of her dream of having a normal life.”

“And you didn’t want her to.”

“I didn’t agree, for a lot of reasons. Her health, mostly. Pregnancy would have put a tremendous strain on her. Especially if she wasn’t careful.” Reilly shook her head. “Annie was careless with herself—she took chances with people, and with other things.”

“It must have been so hard for you. And for her.”

“Harder for her,” Reilly murmured. “I don’t know if she was trying to get pregnant or if she just did by accident. I suspected she slept with men sometimes, but I couldn’t call her on it. I guess since she knew I didn’t want her to be pregnant, she didn’t tell me.”

“That’s not your fault.”

Reilly closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against Liz’s hair. “I shouldn’t have judged her. If she had trusted me, if she had told me, I might have paid more attention to what was happening with her. I
know
I would have. Then I might ha—”

“I doubt you would have anticipated she’d have a stroke, Reilly. And even if you had, she might not have listened to reason.”

“I loved her,” Reilly said, “but I didn’t love her the way she needed to be loved.”

Liz pushed herself up so she could look down into Reilly’s face. “You love me the way I need to be loved. I want to be able to give the same thing to you.”

“You do.” Reilly skimmed her fingers along Liz’s jaw. “You make me happy. You make me excited about the future. I want to be there for you and the baby. I want to be the one with you in the delivery room when the baby is born.”

“When I let myself dream,” Liz whispered, “I see us. You and me. The baby. A family.”

“So do I, and it’s exactly what I want.”

Liz buried her face in Reilly’s shoulder, unable to stop the tears.

“Are those happy tears?” Reilly whispered, her throat tight, her cheeks wet.

“Oh, more than happy,” Liz answered. “Much, much more than happy.”

*

“Do you think we should wake them to eat?” Candace whispered, standing in the doorway with Bren. At close to nine, the room was dark except for the pale glow from the desk lamp. Liz slept with her head on Reilly’s chest, her hand still nestled under Reilly’s shirt. Reilly held Liz protectively in the circle of one arm.

“They both look exhausted, not to mention adorable,” Bren said.

“Reilly is so hot,” Candace whispered.

Grinning, Reilly turned her head and opened her eyes. “Thanks.”

“Stop cruising my lover,” Liz muttered. “I’m pregnant and can’t be blamed for my actions.”

“I meant ‘must be hot,’ you know. Like warm.”

“Uh-huh,” Liz said.

Candace laughed. “You two hungry?”

Liz burrowed closer to Reilly. “Later.”

Reilly kissed Liz’s temple and closed her eyes again.

Candace turned and followed Bren downstairs. In the kitchen she settled on the stool at the breakfast counter and picked up a slice of pizza. “So, what are you going to do the rest of the night?”

Bren smiled. “I’m going to email a certain someone about a fantasy we have in common. How about you?”

“I’m going to call a certain woman and ask her out on a date.” Candace glanced toward the stairs, and thought of Liz and Reilly asleep in the surety of one another’s embrace. “Do you think this is the end of the Lonely Hearts Club?”

“Oh, no. The LHC has always been about our friendship.” Bren wrapped an arm around Candace’s waist. “And love will only make us stronger.”

Radcly
f
fe
is a retired surgeon and full-time award-winning author-publisher with over thirty lesbian and anthologies in print. Seven of her works have been Lambda Literary finalists, including the Lambda Literary winners
Erotic Interludes 2: Stolen Moments
edited with Stacia Seaman;
In Deep Waters 2; Distant Shores, Silent Thunder
. She is the editor of
Best Lesbian Romance
2009 and 2010 (Cleis Press),
Erotic Interludes
2 through 5 and
Romantic Interludes
1 and 2 with Stacia Seaman (BSB), and has selections in multiple anthologies including
Best Lesbian Erotica 2006-2010; After Midnight; Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists; First-Timers; Ultimate Undies: Erotic Stories About Lingerie and Underwear; Hide and Seek; A is for Amour; H is for Hardcore; L is for Leather; Rubber Sex, Tasting Him,
and
Cowboy Erotica
. She is the recipient of the 2003 and 2004 Alice B. Readers’ awards for her body of work and is also the president of Bold Strokes Books, one of the world’s largest independent LGBTQ publishing companies.

Her latest release is an all-Radclyffe erotica anthology,
Radical Encounters
(Feb 2009) and the romantic intrigue novel
Justice for All
(April 2009), and the romance
Secrets in the Stone
(July 2009). Her forthcoming works include
The Midnight Hunt
(writing as L.L. Raand, March 2010) and the first in the First Responder Series,
Trauma Alert
(July 2010).