The Lions of Little Rock (16 page)

32

THE AIRPLANE RIDE

While we were at Granny's, Judy talked about Robert Laurence so much, David threatened to start charging her a nickel every time she said his name. To be fair, she also asked about my math lessons with Mr. Harding and painted my nails and listened to the Buddy Holly album with me until we both knew all the words by heart. But there was still a distance between us, silences in our conversations where there used to be none. No matter what I did, I couldn't find the right moment to tell her about Liz.

All too soon, it was December 31 and we were driving to the airport. My stomach was one big knot. I knew I was going to hate flying. I didn't like new things. I didn't like heights. Planes were new, and they went high in the air. Plus, they sometimes crashed. All those things were bad.

I wished I could stay with Granny, watching the nice, safe TV. But Daddy was so excited and had spent so much money on the tickets, I couldn't disappoint him. Besides, Liz would kill me if I had a chance to go up in an airplane and didn't take it. At least I had the feather she'd given me in my pocket. A black feather had helped Dumbo fly. Maybe it could help me too.

The Pine Bluff airport was a new building of cement block. There was a small waiting area with seats and tables and two big doors with numbers over them. A man with a cart was selling Cokes and candy bars. We had about an hour before our flight, so Daddy went over to him and came back carrying a bag of treats.

I opened a PayDay, and the smell of peanuts and caramel, which I usually loved, made me feel sick. Great. The first time in my life I ever got a candy bar all to myself, and I couldn't even take a bite. The others chatted and ate, and the minutes crept by, both too long and way too short.

Daddy drained the last of his Coke and glanced at his watch. “Only ten more minutes. I'm going to check you all in at the gate.”

Mother and Judy got up to look at the plane out the window, but David stayed at the table with me. “You gonna eat that?” he said, pointing at my candy bar.

I shook my head.

He picked it up and took a bite. “What's going on with you and Judy?” David asked, his mouth full of peanuts.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I said.

“Come on, Marlee. Usually you and Judy are all up in your room girl-talking so fast, I can't understand half of what you say.”

I hadn't realized anyone else had noticed.

“You're acting funny now too,” he said.

“No, I'm not.”

“You scared about the plane ride?”

“People aren't supposed to fly. Granny said so.”

“Granny also said TV was a silly invention. Back before she got one of her own.”

I made a face.

“Besides,” said David, “I thought you wanted to build rockets.”

“Build them, not
fly
in them.”

David laughed, and I stuck my tongue out at him. He made me feel a little better. I didn't think Daddy would purposely try to kill us all, but I couldn't shake the feeling that this was a very bad idea.

Daddy came back then, bouncing in his shoes. “It's time. They're going to start boarding.”

We threw our trash away, and I made sure the black feather was safely in my pocket. Daddy rounded up Mother and Judy and made us all stand in a line before one of the doors. He handed each of us a small piece of paper which read
Trans-Texas Airways: Pine Bluff, AR, to Little Rock, AR
. Then Daddy went down the line and kissed us all. Like we were going on a long trip. Like we were going off to war. Like he was never going to see us again.

“Have fun!” he called as he waved and walked off. A woman with a cute, short haircut and a navy blue suit took our tickets and ushered us out the door. We stood on the runway until another woman in a matching suit led us across the cement to the plane. There was a set of metal stairs going up to the plane.

“I can't do it,” I mumbled, standing in front of the stairs. They looked just like the high dive. The engines were warming up, and it was so loud, no one could hear me.

“I'm not going!” I yelled.

Mother was ahead of me. “What?” she called, turning back briefly, but she wasn't really listening. I automatically followed her. I willed myself to stop and after a moment, I did, right on the second step.

David leaned over and shouted into my ear. “Keep moving, sis.”

I shook my head, but he pushed me from behind. I would have fallen, but my stupid feet caught me, and I started going up the stairs. The wind picked up and blew my hair in my face. I felt dizzy. My hands were hot, and my feet were cold, and everything sounded funny, like people talking underwater at the pool. It was like when I did the class presentation. I'd been sure I was going to faint then too.

But I hadn't.

I'd actually done a pretty good job.

I stuck my hand in my pocket and touched the tip of the feather. Before I knew it, I was ducking inside the plane. It was just a metal tube, with two seats on each side of a narrow aisle. Mother sat with David, and Judy and I sat next to each other. The stewardess showed us how to buckle our seat belts. When I looked out the window, I could see a man directing the plane onto the runway.

The plane began to move, and I closed my eyes. I squeezed them tight, until I saw silver stars on the insides of my lids. I wasn't going to open them again until this was all over and we were safely on the ground. Or until we were dead, smushed all over the concrete. I thought the second possibility was much more likely.

But then, the plane gave a funny lurch, like nothing I had ever felt before, and without thinking, I opened my eyes and glanced out the window.

We were only a few feet off the ground, but the plane got higher quickly, rocking back and forth as it climbed. It was a gentle motion, not scary, like being in a cradle for grown-ups. We flew over the airport parking lot, and I caught a glimpse of Daddy standing by the car and waving like a madman.

A moment later, he was gone. The trees were smaller now, and the roads looked like strips of paper. We were sailing over an old quarry and a river and lots and lots of forest.

I turned to Judy. “Isn't this amazing?”

Judy was staring directly ahead, her face pale and her lips green.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Don't talk to me!” Judy snapped.

I glanced over at David and Mother. Mother had one hand on her forehead and was leaning against the seat in front of her. David tried to smile.

“You all right?” I asked.

“Just a little sick,” said David.

I felt great. We were flying over a highway now, racing the cars that looked like toys on the road below. Everything went white, and it took me a moment to realize we had flown into a cloud. The cloud looked so solid, I'd have sworn I could jump on it like a feather bed, and yet the plane cut through it as easily as a hot knife in butter. After a moment, I could see the green ground below again, playing peekaboo with me through holes in the clouds.

The woman in the navy uniform came by. “Would you like anything to drink?”

Judy shook her head.

She turned to me. “Coke or coffee?”

“Coke, please,” I said firmly, just like a grown-up. Then I realized. I had spoken to a stranger. And I hadn't even counted prime numbers first.

The stewardess handed me a small glass bottle, exactly like the one I had been unable to drink at the airport a few minutes before. I was suddenly starving, and wished I had saved my candy bar instead of offering it to my brother. As if she had read my mind, she handed me a package of peanuts. “First time in a plane?” she asked.

I nodded. “For all of us.” The words were bubbling out now, fizzing like a shook-up soda. “It was a Christmas gift from Daddy.”

The stewardess smiled at me. “How nice of him!”

I glanced over at Judy. She still had her eyes closed.

“Don't worry about your sister,” said the stewardess. “Some people get motion sickness. I'll get you a bag in case she needs to be ill.”

I nodded again.

“How about you, sweetie? Are you feeling okay?”

“Great,” I said, popping a handful of peanuts into my mouth.

“An iron stomach.” She laughed. “Maybe someday you'll grow up to be a stewardess like me.” Then she turned away to take care of Mother and David.

A stewardess like her. In a fancy blue uniform and flying in a plane like this every day. It sounded like a dream. I stared out the window and watched the clouds and the crops, planted in neat square rows, and I tried to remember every detail so I could tell Liz all about it.

Too soon, the stewardess came back, making sure we had our seat belts fastened because it was time to land. My eyes grew dry as I stared out the window, refusing to blink, refusing to miss a single second of watching the trees and roads and cars and houses slowly grow larger and larger.

There was a bump when we landed, and I heard Mother cry out, but truthfully, it wasn't any worse than going over a pothole in the car. On the ground, I could feel how fast we were going. The brakes screeched and we slowly came to a stop.

“Thank God!” said Judy. She had the bag the stewardess had given her clutched in one hand.

“Amen,” said Mother.

I thanked God that neither one of them had actually thrown up.

We got out of our seats and followed the rest of the people to the front of the plane. The door to the cockpit was open, and there were two men in uniform inside, with hundreds of buttons and wires behind them. They stood, greeting each of the passengers as they exited.

“Hello, there,” the older man said to me. “Did you enjoy the flight?”

I grinned, too overwhelmed to say anything.

“You don't even need to ask, Bill,” said the younger man. “Look at the way her eyes are shining.”

As soon as we got home, I called Liz. I told her all about the plane ride. Must have talked for ten minutes straight. “Turns out I have an iron stomach,” I finished. “And I didn't even know.”

“Wow,” said Liz. “Wish I could have been there.”

“Me too.” I smiled. “You know what?”

“What?”

“I was really scared of flying, and it turned out okay. No, not okay. Great.” For the first time, I was thinking out loud. And it was fun. “I think it might be time to try some other things I'm afraid of.”

“Like what?” asked Liz.

I wasn't sure. I opened my mouth and just trusted that something would come out. “Talking,” I said. “I think I'm going to try talking. Not just to you and Judy and the people on my list, but to everyone.”

“Good for you, Marlee,” said Liz, and she sounded proud.

“And if I change, maybe other things will change too. Maybe Sally will be nicer. Maybe Mother and I will find more in common. Maybe the schools will reopen!”

“Maybe,” said Liz, laughing, and then it was time to hang up.

I wasn't really serious. I knew my talking wouldn't change all that. But as I drifted off to sleep, I thought about what Daddy had said when we were talking in the car. He'd said that things could be different in Little Rock, if only the right people could find their voice.

I wanted to be one of those people.

33

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

The first day of school after winter break, I woke up early. Pretty Boy chirped at me from his cage. “Yes,” I said, pulling on my new pink sweater. “It is a beautiful day.”

Mr. Harding asked for the answer to number fourteen, and no one spoke up, so I raised my hand. It was the first time I'd volunteered an answer, and he grinned just like David as he called on me. I got it right, of course—6,049 divided by 23 is 263. The other kids stared, and their eyes on me made my skin crawl, but then Mr. Harding called on someone else and the itchy feeling was gone.

At lunchtime I asked Mr. Harding if we could work on algebra every other day, so I could still see the other kids too. He nodded. “You know, Marlee, engineers work in groups. I think that's a great idea.”

So for the first time in a long time, I walked back to the cafeteria. I stood in front of the closed doors and concentrated, imagining myself a princess, making a grand entrance at a ball. I counted 13, 17, 19, 23, pushed open the doors and went inside.

No one even looked up. JT was at a far table, talking with his friends. Little Jimmy sat alone, and Nora and Sally were at our old table. I silently counted my steps as I walked over to them. “Hi,” I said. It came out a lot louder and shriller than I intended, but when Sally looked up, she smiled.

“Marlee,” she said. “You're back!”

Nora pulled out a chair for me. “You all done with the math stuff?”

“Not all done,” I said, sitting down. “But the rest can wait until tomorrow.” This was easier than I thought.

“Doing math for fun.” Sally laughed. “Marlee, you're such a square.”

Or not so easy after all. I couldn't believe Sally was starting again with the insults, and I hadn't even been there five minutes. I touched the feather in my pocket. This time, I wasn't going to let it go. “I do think math is fun,” I said. “But don't call me a square.”

Sally rolled her eyes. “I was just teasing. Don't be so sensitive.”

“It's mean,” I said. “And I don't like it.”

Sally looked at Nora, as if to say,
Can you believe
her?

Nora shrugged. “She's right. Sometimes you are kind of mean.”

Sally opened and closed her mouth several times. I could almost see the words floating through her head as she struggled to find something to say. Finally, she just shrugged. “Sorry,” she said.

Nora gave a nervous giggle. Sally had never apologized before.

I shrugged too. “I am probably a little square,” I said, and we all laughed.

Nora started talking about winter break. It felt good to sit back and eat my cheese sandwich and listen to her complain about little sisters and socks for presents and all sorts of normal things. Then I remembered I didn't have to just sit back and listen. I could say something too. I could tell them about the airplane ride.

I was trying to find the right moment to speak up, when JT walked over to our table. “Hi, Marlee,” he said, real friendly. “I need a favor.”

I gave him a look. It was supposed to mean
go away and leave me alone,
but apparently he thought it meant
please go on,
because he kept talking.

“Mr. Harding said I was missing a couple of assignments.” He put a piece of paper down on top of my sandwich. “They're listed there. You can give them to me tomorrow in homeroom.”

I was beginning to think JT was like the nasty phone calls—scary, but all hot air. And there was only one way to find out if I was right.

“No,” I said.

“What?”

“I'm not doing your homework anymore.”

I braced myself for his anger. The shock. The threats. The drama of the shy little quiet girl saying no to the big strong football player. But JT didn't look surprised. He didn't even look irritated. He seemed kind of amused. In fact, he was grinning at me. “I always knew you were a pretty girl, Marlee, but you're even cuter when you're angry.”

“I'm not angry.” Of course I was angry. I'd been doing his homework all year!

He shrugged. “It's no problem. I'll just find someone else to do the work for me.”

“You can't do that,” I said. “It's cheating!”

JT laughed.

Of course, it had been cheating when I'd done it too, but I preferred not to dwell on that fact.

“I like your pink sweater!” JT called out as he walked off.

I wasn't sure if I was proud of myself for finally standing up to him, or embarrassed it had taken me so long to do so.

The next Tuesday at the rock crusher I was planning on telling Liz all about standing up to Sally and JT. But as soon as I got there, Liz started talking. “You know Curtis, right? Betty Jean's son.”

“Yes.”

Liz blushed, which made me even more curious to know what was going on. “He's in youth group with me at church and in ninth grade at Dunbar, but he'd never spoken to me. Then today he saw me writing in my journal, and he came over to see what I was doing. We started talking, and we realized we both know you.”

“That's great.” Actually, I was worried. What if she dumped me for him like Judy had done with Robert Laurence? I wanted her to stop exploding when she was teased, not get a boyfriend! But I couldn't say that, so I just asked, “You didn't tell him we were still friends, did you?”

“No,” said Liz. “But I think he guessed.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I think Little Jimmy guessed too. He says
hi.
”

“Hi.”
Liz looked pleased. “You tell him
hi
right back.”

“How long can we keep this up?” I asked.

“I don't know,” said Liz. “But I hope for a really long time.”

I hoped so too.