the Light Of Western Stars (1992) (33 page)

"Why all this sudden illness and idleness?" asked Madeline
.

"Wal, you see, the truth is every blamed cowboy on the range except Stewart thinks it's his bounden duty to entertain the ladies
.
"

"I think that is just fine!" exclaimed Dorothy Coombs; and she joined in the general laugh
.

"Stewart, then, doesn't care to help entertain us?" inquired Helen, in curious interest
.
"Wal, Miss Helen, Stewart is sure different from the other cowboys," replied Stillwell
.
"Yet he used to be like them
.
There never was a cowboy fuller of the devil than Gene
.
But he's changed
.
He's foreman here, an' that must be it
.
All the responsibility rests on him
.
He sure has no time for amusin' the ladies
.
"

"I imagine that is our loss," said Edith Wayne, in her earnest way
.
"I admire him
.
"

"Stillwell, you need not be so distressed with what is only gallantry in the boys, even if it does make a temporary confusion in the work," said Madeline
.

"Miss Majesty, all I said is not the half, nor the quarter, nor nuthin' of what's troublin' me," answered he, sadly
.

"Very well; unburden yourself
.
"

"Wal, the cowboys, exceptin' Gene, have gone plumb batty, jest plain crazy over this heah game of gol-lof
.
"

A merry peal of mirth greeted Stillwell's solemn assertion
.

"Oh, Stillwell, you are in fun," replied Madeline
.

"I hope to die if I'm not in daid earnest," declared the cattleman
.
"It's an amazin' strange fact
.
Ask Flo
.
She'll tell you
.
She knows cowboys, an' how if they ever start on somethin' they ride it as they ride a hoss
.
"

Florence being appealed to, and evidently feeling all eyes upon her, modestly replied that Stillwell had scarcely misstated the situation
.

"Cowboys play like they work or fight," she added
.
"They give their whole souls to it
.
They are great big simple boys
.
"

"Indeed they are," said Madeline
.
"Oh, I'm glad if they like the game of golf
.
They have so little play
.
"

"Wal, somethin's got to be did if we're to go on raisin' cattle at Her Majesty's Rancho," replied Stillwell
.
He appeared both deliberate and resigned
.

Madeline remembered that despite Stillwell's simplicity he was as deep as any of his cowboys, and there was absolutely no gaging him where possibilities of fun were concerned
.
Madeline fancied that his exaggerated talk about the cowboys' sudden craze for golf was in line with certain other remarkable tales that had lately emanated from him
.
Some very strange things had occurred of late, and it was impossible to tell whether or not they were accidents, mere coincidents, or deep-laid, skilfully worked-out designs of the fun-loving cowboys
.
Certainly there had been great fun, and at the expense of her guests, particularly Castleton
.
So Madeline was at a loss to know what to think about Stillwell's latest elaboration
.
From mere force of habit she sympathized with him and found difficulty in doubting his apparent sincerity
.

"To go back a ways," went on Stillwell, as Madeline looked up expectantly, "you recollect what pride the boys took in fixin' up that gol-lof course out on the mesa?Wal, they worked on that job, an' though I never seen any other course, I'll gamble yours can't be beat
.
The boys was sure curious about that game
.
You recollect also how they all wanted to see you an' your brother play, an' be caddies for you?Wal, whenever you'd quit they'd go to work tryin' to play the game
.
Monty Price, he was the leadin' spirit
.
Old as I am, Miss Majesty, an' used as I am to cowboy excentrikities, I nearly dropped daid when I heered that little hobble-footed, burned-up Montana cow-puncher say there wasn't any game too swell for him, an' gol-lof was just his speed
.
Serious as a preacher, mind you, he was
.
An' he was always practisin'
.
When Stewart gave him charge of the course an' the club-house an' all them funny sticks, why, Monty was tickled to death
.
You see, Monty is sensitive that he ain't much good any more for cowboy work
.
He was glad to have a job that he didn't feel he was hangin' to by kindness
.
Wal, he practised the game, an' he read the books in the club-house, an' he got the boys to doin' the same
.
That wasn't very hard, I reckon
.
They played early an' late an' in the moonlight
.
For a while Monty was coach, an' the boys stood it
.
But pretty soon Frankie Slade got puffed on his game, an' he had to have it out with Monty
.
Wal, Monty beat him bad
.
Then one after another the other boys tackled Monty
.
He beat them all
.
After that they split up an' begin to play matches, two on a side
.
For a spell this worked fine
.
But cowboys can't never be satisfied long onless they win all the time
.
Monty an' Link Stevens, both cripples, you might say, joined forces an' elected to beat all comers
.
Wal, they did, an' that's the trouble
.
Long an' patient the other cowboys tried to beat them two game legs, an' hevn't done it
.
Mebbe if Monty an' Link was perfectly sound in their legs like the other cowboys there wouldn't hev been such a holler
.
But no sound cowboys'll ever stand for a disgrace like that
.
Why, down at the bunks in the evenin's it's some mortifyin' the way Monty an' Link crow over the rest of the outfit
.
They've taken on superior airs
.
You couldn't reach up to Monty with a trimmed spruce pole
.
An' Link-wal, he's just amazin' scornful
.

"'It's a swell game, ain't it?' says Link, powerful sarcastic
.
'Wal, what's hurtin' you low-down common cowmen? You keep harpin' on Monty's game leg an' on my game leg
.
If we hed good legs we'd beat you all the wuss
.
It's brains that wins in gol-lof
.
Brains an' airstoocratik blood, which of the same you fellers sure hev little
.
'

"An' then Monty he blows smoke powerful careless an' superior, an' he says:

"'Sure it's a swell game
.
You cow-headed gents think beef an' brawn ought to hev the call over skill an' gray matter
.
You'll all hev to back up an' get down
.
Go out an' learn the game
.
You don't know a baffy from a Chinee sandwich
.
All you can do is waggle with a club an' fozzle the ball
.
'

"Whenever Monty gets to usin' them queer names the boys go round kind of dotty
.
Monty an' Link hev got the books an' directions of the game, an' they won't let the other boys see them
.
They show the rules, but that's all
.
An', of course, every game ends in a row almost before it's started
.
The boys are all turrible in earnest about this gol-lof
.
An' I want to say, for the good of ranchin', not to mention a possible fight, that Monty an' Link hev got to be beat
.
There'll be no peace round this ranch till that's done
.
"

Madeline's guests were much amused
.
As for herself, in spite of her scarcely considered doubt, Stillwell's tale of woe occasioned her anxiety
.
However, she could hardly control her mirth
.

"What in the world can I do?"

"Wal, I reckon I couldn't say
.
I only come to you for advice
.
It seems that a queer kind of game has locoed my cowboys, an' for the time bein' ranchin' is at a standstill
.
Sounds ridiculous, I know, but cowboys are as strange as wild cattle
.
All I'm sure of is that the conceit has got to be taken out of Monty an' Link
.
Onct, just onct, will square it, an' then we can resoome our work
.
"

"Stillwell, listen," said Madeline, brightly
.
"We'll arrange a match game, a foursome, between Monty and Link and your best picked team
.
Castleton, who is an expert golfer, will umpire
.
My sister, and friends, and I will take turns as caddies for your team
.
That will be fair, considering yours is the weaker
.
Caddies may coach, and perhaps expert advice is all that is necessary for your team to defeat Monty's
.
"

"A grand idee," declared Stillwell, with instant decision
.
"When can we have this match game?"

"Why, to-day-this afternoon
.
We'll all ride out to the links
.
"

"Wal, I reckon I'll be some indebted to you, Miss Majesty, an' all your guests," replied Stillwell, warmly
.
He rose with sombrero in hand, and a twinkle in his eye that again prompted Madeline to wonder
.
"An' now I'll be goin' to fix up for the game of cowboy gol-lof
.
Adios
.
"

The idea was as enthusiastically received by Madeline's guests as it had been by Stillwell
.
They were highly amused and speculative to the point of taking sides and making wagers on their choice
.
Moreover, this situation so frankly revealed by Stillwell had completed their deep mystification
.
They were now absolutely nonplussed by the singular character of American cowboys
.
Madeline was pleased to note how seriously they had taken the old cattleman's story
.
She had a little throb of wild expectancy that made her both fear and delight in the afternoon's prospect
.

The June days had set in warm; in fact, hot during the noon hours: and this had inculcated in her insatiable visitors a tendency to profit by the experience of those used to the Southwest
.
They indulged in the restful siesta during the heated term of the day
.

Madeline was awakened by Majesty's well-known whistle and pounding on the gravel
.
Then she heard the other horses
.
When she went out she found her party assembled in gala golf attire, and with spirits to match their costumes
.
Castleton, especially, appeared resplendent in a golf coat that beggared description
.
Madeline had faint misgivings when she reflected on what Monty and Nels and Nick might do under the influence of that blazing garment
.

"Oh
.
Majesty," cried Helen, as Madeline went up to her horse, "don't make him kneel!Try that flying mount
.
We all want to see it
.
It's so stunning
.
"

"But that way, too, I must have him kneel," said Madeline, "or I can't reach the stirrup
.
He's so tremendously high
.
"

Madeline had to yield to the laughing insistence of her friends, and after all of them except Florence were up she made Majesty go down on one knee
.
Then she stood on his left side, facing back, and took a good firm grip on the bridle and pommel and his mane
.
After she had slipped the toe of her boot firmly into the stirrup she called to Majesty
.
He jumped and swung her up into the saddle
.