The Lie of Love (17 page)

‘Many of you don’t know me or my
daughter. Many of you perhaps have better things to do, lives and families of
your own to worry about. Many of you have given more money than you can afford
to be here tonight. Which is why, I don’t have the words on this card powerful
enough to express my gratitude. I am humbled and deeply moved by the effort
made here on behalf of my daughter, Sophie. Everywhere we go help is offered
and if this campaign has taught me one thing, it’s that people make the most
incredible gestures of kindness.  I have to thank so many people. My
friends Amanda Gale and Julia Simmons…’ she gestured to their seats and there
was a faint, uncertain ripple of applause, ‘the students and staff of
Bournemouth University for coming all this way and putting on a show in our
town, for donating every penny of the profits to Sophie’s cause. I have to
thank the owners of the
Mattisse
Club for letting us
have the venue for free. Most of all I have to thank you all, wonderful people
without whom all this would have had no point.’

Darcy took
a deep lungful of air and exhaled it forcefully as she lowered the card that
she had not only been reading, but had been using as a shield to hide the
crowds from her view so that she could actually speak. There was a brief pause
as people clearly decided whether she had finished or not, and then a ripple of
applause. Darcy tottered down the steps and back to her seat, feeling that her
legs were somehow somebody else’s but relieved that the part of the evening she
had been dreading most was over.  There was a brief moment, as she took
her seat, where she was seized by a melancholy as she thought of
Ged
at home when he should have
been there to share her moment. But if he had been there,
Ged
would not have kissed her and told her how proud
he was. He would not have plied her with champagne and shown her off to all and
sundry. He would not have done all the things that other men do to show their
love for their wives. Perhaps it was better he was not there after all. 

Darcy, Amanda, and Julia were kept behind long after the
crowds had left, thanking people, speaking to the club owners about the door
money, counting the takings from sales in the cash box – Julia and Amanda
getting steadily drunker.  Harry and Rachel had disappeared and Darcy was
fairly certain they hadn’t left the club, which didn’t help her mood. 

‘Listen…’ Darcy said when she had
lost count of the takings for the third time, ‘why don’t you two jump in a taxi
and go home. I can finish up here.’

‘We can’t leave you alone,’
Amanda hiccupped.

‘I’ll be perfectly safe,’ Darcy
insisted. ‘There are still people around upstairs and I have the car parked
just outside.’

‘Harry is here somewhere,’ Julia
joined in. ‘I’ll get him to come and protect you.’

‘He’s busy with Rachel,’ Amanda
said.

‘Nonsense.
He’s not allowed to do hanky panky,’ Julia laughed.

‘I think you’d better tell him
that. Because I bet he’s round the back right now doing hanky panky…’

‘Amanda!’ Darcy
cried,
her head ready to explode. ‘Please…’

‘Sorry…’ Amanda said, trying to
be serious. But then she looked at Julia and they both burst into gales of
laughter.

Darcy waited for the laughter to
subside. ‘Let me call a cab for you both and I’ll finish up here. No offence,
but I’ll be much quicker on my own.’ Without waiting for a reply, she wandered
over to the bar where an attendant was sweeping up. ‘I don’t suppose you have
the number of a reliable cab firm you could call to come and take my friends
home?’

The man nodded and went to a
phone hanging on the wall behind the till.  Darcy sat on a stool and laid
her head on the bar top for a moment. She was tired, desperate to get the dress
off that she felt ridiculous in, ready for a cup of tea and her warm bed. It
had been the most trying event of the campaign so far and she was glad it was
almost over.

‘Ten minutes,’ the man said,
causing Darcy’s head to snap up.

‘Thanks.’

Harry wandered into the main room
from a side door, laughing with Rachel. Darcy almost groaned. She had got
enough to contend with as it was.  They made their way over and Harry
angled his head in the direction of Julia and Amanda.

‘It’s a long time since I’ve seen
mum so drunk.’

‘I think that might have
something to do with Amanda. She’ll be sorry in the morning.’

‘I can’t wait,’ Harry replied.
‘I’m going to love giving her the drink lecture she usually saves for me.’

‘Don’t be mean.’ Rachel nudged
him playfully and Harry grinned.

‘Do you want to grab their cab
with them?’ Harry asked her.

Rachel’s expression darkened for the
shortest time as she glanced between the two of them. ‘You’re not coming with
us?’ she asked.

‘I’ll stay here and make sure
nobody mugs Darcy.’

‘Nobody is going to mug me and
the bouncers out there have harder nails on their little fingers than you,’ Darcy
replied, with just a little too much venom. Harry only laughed.

‘That may be true but I can
pretend. It’ll help my manly ego.’

‘I can stay with you,’ Rachel put
in.

Harry pointed at Julia and
Amanda, who were now both staring into space as if they would collapse on the
table at any moment. ‘Those two might end up in Glasgow
if someone doesn’t make sure they’re ok. I’d be happier if you went with them
and made sure they got to the right front doors.’

For a moment Rachel looked as
though she would argue, but then she nodded.
‘Alright then.
Will you call me?’

‘Yeah, sure.
But I’ll probably see you for my coffee anyway. Thanks for coming tonight.’

‘Thanks for asking me. I had
fun.’

The toot of a car horn sounded
from outside and one of the bouncers stuck their head in the door. ‘Someone
ordered a taxi?’

‘Come on, ladies,’ Harry called,
ambling over to the table where his mother and Amanda sat.
‘Time
for home.’

With slurred goodbyes and
uncertain steps, Harry and Rachel managed to gather them into the waiting cab.
Darcy heard the door slam shut and the car speed away.

Harry came back alone.

‘You need some help with that?’
He nodded at the cashbox where Darcy had returned to her counting. She looked
up.

‘You know what… I might do it at
home tomorrow. I know we’re supposed to get the club owner to verify but Rachel
kept a brilliant tally here of what was sold so I could show him that instead.’

‘Good idea…’ Harry held her in a
penetrating gaze.

‘What?’

‘You do look amazing.’

Darcy looked down at herself. ‘I
look like a drag act.’

Harry burst into laughter. ‘You
don’t. If drag acts looked like you I’d be trawling gay bars with some
seriously mixed up feelings.’

Darcy couldn’t help a small
smile.  He moved closer and reached for her hand.

‘Not here,’ she said, pulling
away.

‘We need to talk.’

‘We don’t. We need to keep a safe
distance.’

‘I can’t…’ Harry lowered his
voice. ‘I can’t stay away from you. I’ve tried and I know it’s for the sake of
your family but…’

Darcy frowned. ‘What about
Rachel?’

‘Rachel?’

‘You two were on a date, right?
Your mum thinks it’s been going on for a while –’

‘It hasn’t. I brought Rachel here
tonight to throw my mum off the scent. She’s guessed I’ve been seeing someone
and I wanted her to think it was Rachel.’

‘So you weren’t on a date?’

Harry shook his head.

‘And you haven’t been seeing her
for weeks?’

He shook again.

‘Won’t your mum ask Rachel at
some point how long you’ve been seeing each other?’

‘Not if she doesn’t get chance
to.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘We’re not going out again.’

‘Does Rachel know this?’

‘Not yet. I’ll tell her tomorrow.
It was just a friendly night out anyway.’

‘Rachel thinks she was on a
proper date.’

‘She doesn’t. I never said it was
a date.’

‘You don’t need to say. It’s
obvious to anyone with eyes.’

Harry ran a hand through his hair
and loosened his tie. ‘She’s great, Rachel, but…’

‘You need to put her right. It’s
not fair to string her along like this.’

‘Like you string me along?’

Darcy pursed her lips. ‘That’s
not fair either.’

‘I know, I’m
sorry.’

‘Besides… how can I even trust
what you say is true?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘How do I know that I’m not the
bit on the side and Rachel is your girlfriend? It wouldn’t be the first time in
history that’s happened to a gullible married woman.’

Harry stepped forward and took
her by the shoulders, ignoring the warning look reminding him that people were
still in the building. ‘You’ve seen what I’m like around you. How can you think
that’s not real?’

‘I don’t know but it doesn’t
matter. It has to stop.’ Darcy shook him off and slammed the lid down on the
cashbox.

‘At least let me walk you to the
car.’

Darcy paused,
then
relented.
‘Alright.
But walking to the car is all we
do. No getting in the car, no driving anywhere, no anything that might lead to
other stuff.’

Harry smiled and followed as she
headed for the door.

Outside the night had cooled to
its lowest point and the fresh, crisp air cleared the fugue from Darcy’s tired
brain.

‘You’re heading home now then?’
Harry asked, his words echoing across the deserted car park.

‘Yes.
Home to
bed.
I’m worn out.’ Darcy was aware of the banal nature of the
conversation, but she understood the need to fill the pregnant silence that
hung between them.

They stopped at the car, Darcy
balancing the cash box on one arm as she searched for her keys.

‘You’d think a handbag this tiny
wouldn’t be able to swallow a set of car keys but apparently it can,’ she
huffed.

‘Here…’ Harry took the box from
her. ‘Stop being so proud and let me help.’

‘I’m not being proud…’

Harry grinned and Darcy didn’t
know at that moment whether she wanted to slap him or kiss him. She tried not
to think about the choice but finally felt the cold steel in her fingers and
opened the car.

‘Thanks,’ she said, taking the
box and tossing it onto the passenger seat. As she turned to say goodnight,
Harry had already stretched across to rest his hand on the car roof and was
leaning across her, his face close.

‘I know you’re right, and that we
can’t happen anymore. But I miss you.’

Darcy immediately regretted her
reply. ‘I miss you too.’

Taking her admission as his cue,
he leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head away.

‘Sorry,’ he said, stepping back.

‘It doesn’t matter. But it’s best
if you keep a safe distance,’ Darcy replied, longing scoring her guts even as
she issued the warning.

‘So… this is it? This is really
the end?’

Darcy nodded. ‘You knew that.’

‘I just didn’t want to accept
it.’

‘Harry…’ Darcy began, but he laid
a finger over her lips.

‘Don’t. I understand why and it
makes you the better person. I know your family comes first.’

‘They do. I’m really sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ He paused. ‘Can I ask
one thing before we end it properly?’ Darcy raised her eyebrows and he took her
silence as permission to air his request. ‘Meet me once more. Just once for old
times’ sake. I can’t leave things how we did.’

‘I can’t –’

‘Please…’

Darcy sighed. ‘This is madness….’
She thought for a moment. ‘We could go for a quick drive now while everyone is
in bed.
Down to the beach where it ought to be deserted.
But we just talk.’ Harry nodded. ‘Get in, quick,’ she added before climbing in
at the driver’s side, ‘before I change my mind.’

He did as
he was asked and Darcy pulled away from the car park, wondering just how much
damage this one more moment of madness would cause, knowing even as the thought
crossed her mind that in the end she would never have refused him.

‘Is there something going on I should know about?’ Amanda
asked as she stirred sugar into her drink.

‘Such as?’
Darcy’s heart missed a beat as she stiffened in her seat.

‘You tell me.’

‘There’s nothing other than the
normal stuff. I’m fairly sure that
Ged
hates me, sometimes I wonder if Jake is all that keen, and Sophie keeps
everything to herself.’

‘You seem… preoccupied. Not just
with the family things.
And secretive, if we’re accusing
others of that.
You’re always missing; your phone is often switched off
and…’ Amanda narrowed her eyes, ‘if I didn’t know you better I’d say you were
having an affair.’

‘I’m not!’ Darcy squeaked.

‘Answered
rather hotly.
Guilty as charged,’ Amanda grinned.

‘I’m not.’ Darcy repeated.

‘I wouldn’t blame you.
Ged
is an absolute pig.’

‘Amanda!’

‘He is and you know my feelings
on the matter. Who is it?’

‘I’m not having an affair!’ Darcy
cried. Heads in The Sugar Cube snapped around in her direction and she blushed,
lowering her voice. ‘Stop it. I’d tell you if I was.’

‘Alright…’ Amanda blew the foam
from her cappuccino.
‘If you say so.’

Darcy reached for her own drink,
suddenly feeling queasy. There were some secrets that couldn’t be shared. If
Amanda were ever to find out what had gone on between her and Harry – what had
begun again on the night of the fashion show because Darcy was too weak to give
him up – she would be truly appalled. And she would have every right to be.