The Library - The Complete Series (34 page)

Claire

"I don't know how to do it!" I shout, looking down at my hands as the huge storm rages high above, ripping a hole in the fabric of the sky. I've been trying for hours to change my body, to become a book, but nothing's happening. As I get more and more desperate, I can hear the storm becoming increasingly intense, as if the Forbidders' anger is spreading. "Won't it just... happen when the time is right?"

"You must look into your own past," Gum says. "Remember your true form."

"I've tried," I continue, still staring desperately at my hands. "I don't remember any of it. I swear to God, I'm trying!" I know they don't believe me. They think I'm stalling, but I'm telling the truth. Everyone keeps insisting that I used to be a book, that I only took on human form temporarily. Although the idea is clearly absurd, I eventually came to believe it, but I've never actually managed to remember my old life. All I remember is growing up in my parents' house in Orchard Street; my very first memory is of my uncle talking to me next to a huge bookcase, and then I remember growing up like a normal girl, and then developing crippling scoliosis as my spine began to bend. I don't remember being a book, and I don't know how I'm supposed to change back.

Above, the sky cracks and splits, and bright light breaks through the holes that are forming. The Forbidders' bridge seems to be damaging this world. At least there's not much left for them to destroy. The whole place is just a wasteland.

"I should warn you," Gum says calmly. "The Forbidders are not very patient. They've waited thousands of years for this moment. Can you imagine how that feels? To them, you're a holy icon. They want to take you back to their world, to venerate and adore you. They want to worship you. There's no point delaying anything, Claire. It's time to go."

"I don't know how!" I shout, turning to face the three huge creatures that have arrived to take me away. It's hard to describe the physical appearance of the Forbidders: they're like huge lizards with skin made of fire, and they make a loud rattling sound every time they move. Their eyes are fixed on me, and every so often one of them leans closer and sniffs me. If I didn't know that they want to keep me as a relic, I'd be worried that they were planning to eat me. As they stare down at me, I search their eyes for some sign of intelligence, or compassion, but all I see is desire. They want me. They want to possess me and to take me away from here so they can put me on some kind of pedestal.

"Games won't save you, Claire," Gum continues, still speaking through Haley's head. "I warned you against trying to delay things. The only thing that matters right now is that you change to your original form. They're waiting for you."

As if to prove this point, one of the Forbidders leans closer and lets out the loudest roar I've ever heard. I take a few steps back as the ground trembles, and the creature reaches out and brushes my shoulder with one of its large, talon-like hands.

"Tell me how to do it," I say, my voice trembling. "I swear to God, I don't know, so tell me. Give me a clue."

"This isn't a game!" Gum shouts. "You have a duty to perform! You said you were willing to give yourself to the Forbidders, so you must deliver yourself to them!"

"I don't know how!" I shout back at them all. "I feel like a human! I feel like I was born this way! You keep telling me to go back to my original form, but this
feels
like my original form! I don't remember being anything else!"

One of the other Forbidders roars, shaking the ground and knocking me to my feet. They start to move around me, and eventually one of them uses its nose to push me across the ground. Seconds later, another pushes me the other way. It's almost as if they've started to play with me, the way dogs might share a toy. As I try to get to my feet, one of the creatures pushes me back down and fixes me with a determined stare. It's clear that they're losing patience with me, and they're getting frustrated. I'd always assumed that the Forbidders were intelligent creatures, but right now they seem like angry, impulse-driven beasts.

"Don't make them angry," Gum calls over to me. "You wouldn't like them when they're angry."

"I don't like them
now
!" I shout back at her, rolling out of the way as one of them tries to push me again. There's a part of me that wants to turn and run, but I know I wouldn't get far. Besides, I've already tried running from them, and they crossed to another world in order to find me. Whatever happens today, I have to face up to my fate.

"You have to think back to your previous existence," Gum continues. "You were a book on a shelf, and then you were kept in a great archive, and eventually you were taken by the Librarian and given human form. Surely you must remember such a moment? Surely you remember how it felt to have your dry, brittle pages suddenly become the warm, moist flesh of a human body?"

I shake my head, as one of the Forbidders pushes me across the ground again.

"Tell them to stop doing that!" I shout at Gum.

"I have no control over them," she replies. "I'm just their humble servant. They listen to me, but only as an adviser."

"So what's in this for you?" I ask breathlessly. "Why are you helping them?"

"They promised me something," she replies, chewing some meat from a piece of bone. "A whole world. Granted, it's a dead world for now, but I'm sure I'll make something of it. Actually, I've been thinking that a dead world might be a rather fun place to live. There'll be no interruptions from other people, and no need to worry about what they want. I can just enjoy the destruction. Granted, I'll need a few servants here and there, but I'm sure I'll find someone from somewhere." Dropping the bone, he walks over to a pile of body parts that have been left next to a wrecked shelf. "This world was once home to the Library," she says as she picks up part of a broken, rotted head. "Soon it'll be the world of Gum."

"But there's nothing here!" I reply, before I see the rotted head. "Natalia," I say quietly, as I realize that it's her body that Gum is eating. I watch with disgust as she tears a piece of flesh from her face and chews thoughtfully.

"The Grandapams were good servants," she continues after a moment. "In a way, it's a shame I didn't keep a few of them around. Still, one must always look to the future rather than the past. Don't you agree?" He steps closer. "This conversation is over, Claire. It's too late to stall for time. Deliver yourself to your masters."

"I don't know how!" I shout, getting to my feet. "Are you sure you've got the right person? I don't even remember being a book! Are you sure -"

Suddenly a heavy thump knocks me back down to the ground. Turning, I look up and see one of the Forbidders staring straight at me.

"Tell them!" I shout at Gum. "Tell them I don't know how to do it! Tell them I want to do it, but..." I pause for a moment, trying to come up with an answer. "Tell them to just take me as I am. Tell them that maybe I'll change once we've started the journey. Tell them that I don't have the power to change. They need to do something!" Seconds later, another of the creatures uses its nose to push me across the ground, and it's clear that they're getting rougher. Like some kind of disobedient toy, I'm being passed around between them.

"Perhaps pain would be an added incentive," Gum says, walking over to me. "Pain can be a great spur in times of crisis, don't you think? The urge to end pain can really push you on to make a change." She pulls a dagger from around her waist and holds the blade against my face. "The only way to escape the pain, Claire, is to become something that never feels pain in the first place. I hope you understand why I'm doing this." With no further warning, she slashes the blade across my cheek, sending a searing pain deep into my flesh.

Letting out a brief scream, I push Gum away and try to run, but one of the Forbidders knocks me to the ground.

"All of this will be over," Gum continues, stepping up behind me, "if you just do what is required of you. You know what they want. You claim that you're ready to give it to them, and I believe you. So why not just get it over with?"

"Because I don't -" I start to say, before I feel the blade slice into my shoulder. I let out an anguished scream as the blade is pulled out. "I don't know how to do it!" I scream, rolling onto my back. I can feel blood dribbling down my face. "I swear, if I could do it right now, I would," I say, staring up at the dark, foreboding sky. "If I could change and become what they want, I'd do it. Do you think I want to stay like this?"

"You're being very disobedient," Gum says, standing over me. "Here's the problem, Claire. If you refuse to change, the Forbidders will get angry. Eventually, they'll take it out on me, and then they'll take it out on you." She crouches next to me, still holding the bloodied dagger. "It's going to happen," she continues. "You're going to change, so why not look deep inside your heart and find the solution right now? You were a book once, and you can be a book again," she says as she places the blade of the knife against my neck. "What's stopping you? Is something holding you back?"

"I just want the pain to stop," I reply.

"Then you're going about it the wrong way," she replies, slashing the blade across my neck.

Screaming again, I grab my neck and feel blood pouring out over my hands. The blade didn't go deep enough to cut the jugular, but the pain is still agonizing. As I try to get to my feet, I see that Gum has taken a few steps back.

"I can keep this up all day," she says, with a hint of a smile on her face. "Longer, even. Be under no illusions, Claire. I'll willingly and happily torture you for the next thousand years if that's what it takes. I'll cut you to pieces. I'll squeeze the blood from your body and I'll -"

Before she can say anything else, there's a blur of motion and one of the Forbidders reaches down, grabbing Gum between its teeth and lifting her up. She screams to be released, but it's clear that the Forbidders have no sense of mercy. Seconds later, one of the other creatures takes hold of the other end of her body. Together, they slowly pull her body apart. I watch in horror as they chew on her body before finally swallowing her remains. Blood drips down from their mouths as they turn to face me.

"I guess you were sick of her too," I say quietly, realizing that the Forbidders must have decided that they had no more use for Gum. After all, once she'd delivered me back to the Library, I guess she had nothing left to offer.

As the three creatures come closer to me, I stare up into their faces and try to work out what to do next. If I could turn into a book, I would; if I could abandon my human body and just become an unthinking, painless object, it's a sacrifice I'd willingly make at this point. The problem is, I have no idea how I'm supposed to complete the transformation. I guess I assumed that when the time came, I'd know what to do, but that's not the case. With the Forbidders staring down at me, I realize that time is running out. If I don't manage to come up with a solution soon, I'm going to end up like Gum.

Vanguard

As soon as I see them, I know that I'm going to die.

Three Forbidders stand around Claire, staring down at her, waiting for her to change. She looks terrified, and she has several deep cuts to her face and neck. From what I've learned of the Forbidders in recent years, I know they can be violent, even brutish when necessary. They're impulsive creatures, filled with a passion for destruction but lacking much in the way of intelligent thought. If they're becoming frustrated with Claire, I'm quite certain that they'll push her around until finally they go too far and break her. Their fury, at that point, would be terrifying to behold.

"You still lust after combat?" Reith asks, as we stand a few hundred meters from the Forbidders. "After all this turmoil and death, you still believe that you can take them on and win?"

"No," I say, my eyes fixed on the creatures. "I do not believe I can win. If I must face them in combat, I believe they will tear me apart. You too, if they see you."

"Then why be drawn into another battle?" he asks.

"That is not my intention. I'm hoping to distract them."

"But why go near them at all? There's nothing to be gained!"

"Because this is the battle at the dawn of a new creation," I tell him. "Don't you remember the history of the Library? It began with a huge battle that soaked the ground with blood, and it was from this drenched soil that the Library grew."

"The Library has been destroyed," he says. "It's gone. It's over."

"No," I reply. "Its physical form has been destroyed, but the entire world has been preserved in the form of a seed. The seed is a book, and the book is Claire."

"But if that's the case -"

"The Forbidders are beasts," I continue. "They only came for Claire because they were frustrated. They usually destroy everything that offends them, but they can't strike at the darkness. Not yet, anyway."

"So Claire is the one who is responsible for all of this?" Reith asks. "But the reason she was taken to the human world in the first place is that the Forbidders were attacking the Library!"

"The Librarian had a plan all along," I reply. "He knew he had to allow himself to seem cowardly in the process, but he didn't care. All that mattered was Claire."

"I hope you're right," he says, not sounding particularly confident.

"Claire is the first book," I say, watching as she's nudged by the noses of the Forbidders. She must be so scared right now, and she must wonder what is to become of her. If I'm right, however, she will ultimately be restored to her full glory as the first book of the Library. "Deep down," I continue, "she contains the seed that will restart the entire world."

"I must confess to not understanding your theory," Reith replies, "but I can see that you believe it most fervently. I only hope that this is not some fresh madness that has fallen upon you."

"I know you must think me to be insane, Reith," I reply, "and I am quite certain that you believe I have lost my mind. Fortunately, I do not need to obtain your blessing or your agreement. I know what I must do, and there is only one question left for you to answer."

"And what is that?" he asks.

"Do you wish to die at my hands, or do you wish to wait until I have killed Claire?"

"I cannot make such a choice," he replies. "Perhaps that makes me a coward, but I believe I shall cling to life for as long as possible. Besides, if you're correct, I have a chance to witness time itself being turned around. If that is the case, I shall embrace such an opportunity. My only doubt is whether I shall remember all of this, if I am restored to my proper perspective."

"That is the one thing I do not know," I tell him. "Perhaps we shall wake tomorrow in our old lives, but with a memory of all that has happened to us today. Alternatively, we might simply wake as if a normal day has passed. Or we might just die. Whatever happens, though, we shall at least be free of this nightmare. If the Library is to become a blackened, ash-covered world, I would rather not be around to see such a fall." I pause for a moment. "Will you with me into battle, or will you loiter at the sidelines like a sniveling wretch?"

He opens his mouth to reply, but I can see from the look in his eyes that he lacks the fortitude to join me in the charge. "Well, I... I mean, I feel that... I do not know that I would be much use to you in a battle, Vanguard. I could never kill a Forbidder."

Sighing, I turn to him. "I'm sorry," I say, "but for this to work, we must all die." With no further warning, I grab his shoulder and pull him closer, forcing my sword straight through his chest. He lets out a brief cry of pain, and finally he falls still. Once I'm certain that he's dead, I pull the sword out and let his body drop to the ground.

"I'm not aiming to kill the Forbidders," I reply, turning and watching as Claire is pushed around by the creatures. "I'm aiming to send them away, and then I must kill the girl."