The Liberation of Alice Love (35 page)

He shook his head. “It’s not just drinks, Alice, you know that. It’s…access, exposure, getting seen by the right people.” Rupert nodded at the casual designer suits. “I could never pull it off on my own. It’s why I never got anywhere, back in England.

“But—”

“I know,” he cut her off, before she could object. “Good actors rise to the top, eventually.” He repeated the oft-spoken mantra. “But come off it—we both know that’s not true. The ones who stay at the top, they’re the good ones, yes, but plenty who manage to grab their way up there for a while are just better at playing these games.”

Alice gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze. She’d never been too comfortable among these sorts of people either, thinking herself too dull or sensible to blend with their outré lifestyles. But if there was one thing she’d learned from her brief spells as Angelique—and Juliet, and even Ella—it was that perhaps she wasn’t that sensible after all.

“That’s why you need one of these cutthroat agents.” She grinned, nodding around at the collection of fast-talking industry types with gleaming grins and a phone console never far from their fingertips. “They play the game, so you don’t have to.”

Rupert paused, drumming his fingers briefly on the tabletop. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about that. I’d like you to do it for me. Be my agent, I mean,” he explained eagerly. “If you want me as a client, that is. It just seems like perfect timing: you coming over here, right when I need you most. What do you say?”

Alice cringed under his hopeful gaze. “I…I don’t have enough experience yet,” she protested. “I couldn’t do you justice.”

“Not at all,” Rupert insisted. “You know contracts inside out, and you’re already introducing me to all the right people. What more is there?”

“I can’t,” Alice apologized, busying herself with a napkin. “I really—”

“Can’t what?” Ella collapsed beside her with a breathless grin.

“Alice is refusing to represent me.” Rupert adopted a woeful expression.

“Why not? That’s a great idea!” Ella exclaimed. Alice gave her a look.

“You know why not,” she said, keeping her voice measured. “I’m…just starting out on my own. I wouldn’t be up to the responsibility.”

“Nonsense,” Ella declared. “Don’t worry,” she told Rupert. “She’ll come around. She’s just a little overwhelmed by the whole Hollywood thing.”

“Um, can I have a word?” Alice practically pushed Ella out of the booth and into a back hallway.

“What are you playing at?” she hissed, the moment a leggy blond sashayed past them into the toilets. “Fucking with everyone else may be OK with you, but this is Rupert! He’s a decent guy!”

“I know he is,” Ella protested. “Which is why I think you’d be the perfect agent for him.”

Alice sighed. “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re the one saying you’re a hot-shot L. A. agent, not me.”

“So why don’t you?” Ella folded her arms, a note of challenge in her tone.

Alice blinked. “What?”

“Do it. Move here, agent—for real, I mean,” Ella insisted. “We could set up, together. I’ve been telling everyone about the Angelique Love Agency, so why don’t we make it with the real Angelique Love attached?”

Alice’s mouth dropped open, for what felt like the tenth time that day. “Are you insane?”

Ella shrugged. “I know, it’s a crazy idea, but that’s what makes it genius! You have the legal experience, I’ve been developing all the contacts…”

“Ella—”

“And the best part is, I’ve been registering everything in your name all along, so it wouldn’t even be a lie.”

“Stop!” Alice cried. “Just…stop.” She caught her breath, waiting for a trio of girls draped in skintight denim and leather to giggle past before asking, “Are you even listening to yourself? This is all lies, Ella, all of it. No, wait,” she corrected herself sarcastically. “That’s not your real name either.”

“So we make it true,” Ella said, her voice rising with a peculiar intensity. “No more running, or stupid cover stories; I’m telling you—it’s perfect. I’ll just take another surname, or say we’re cousins—that would work, wouldn’t it?” she looked at Alice, as if for approval. “And you’ve quit the agency now, so why not take that leap to agenting you’ve always wanted?”

“I’ve
been
agenting,” Alice shot back. “For the last month now, until Vivienne ruined everything, but you wouldn’t know that, would you? Because you left!”

Ella stopped. She looked at Alice curiously. “Is that what this is all about? You’re mad at me for leaving? Because I am sorry for that—I didn’t want to go.”

She said it as if she’d had no choice in the matter. Something in Alice snapped.

“No, Ella. I’m mad at you for lying, and cheating, and stealing my entire fucking savings!” Alice yelled, her voice ringing out in the small space. “Oh, yes, and leaving too. God, I trusted you. How you could even think I’d let you keep playing this charade, let alone go into partnership with you?”

Ella fell silent for a moment. Then she looked over at Alice, almost nervous. “So why haven’t you told the police yet, if you hate me so much?”

Alice shook her head. “I don’t hate you.” She sighed. “You just…don’t understand. All this time, I’ve been trying to figure out who you are. Why you’d do this to me. Months, going over every bloody receipt for some clue! I even—” She broke off, about to mention the mess with Nadia, and her own forays into the world of aliases and impersonation.

“You even what?” Ella looked chastened, at least.

“Nothing.” There was no use. Ella didn’t see how much she’d hurt her. That was the difference between them. “But you understand, don’t you? Why this is ridiculous. I mean, Ella, when I think about everything I went through because of you, and here you are, barely pausing for breath between your glitzy parties and shopping sprees. Funded by loans in
my
name,” she added bitterly.

“You didn’t have to pay for them,” Ella replied cautiously. “You got everything back.”

“And that makes it all right?”

Ella paused, a stubborn look lingering on her face. “Relatively, maybe…”

“Look.” Alice stopped her with a sigh. “I’m not going to debate the morality of what you’re doing. I mean, you’ve probably contributed more to the world than I have with all that charity.”

Ella looked up. “You know about that?”

“I told you,” Alice said, with a pale smile. “I tracked everything. Hazel was pretty pissed with you for leaving, but I said you had a sick relative. In Australia.”

Ella looked truly surprised. “Oh. Thanks.”

They were silent again, nothing but the muffled thump of the bass between them. Alice felt a heavy pull of disappointment in her chest, where once excitement had been. All that clarity and closure she’d been so determined to find seemed just as far from reach as when she’d been an ocean away. Ella had nothing for her, after all, just a mismatched handful of justifications and excuses. It was as much as anyone could offer in support of their actions, she supposed, but Alice had expected more.

She’d needed more.

“Can I show you something?” Ella asked suddenly. “We can go in my car. It wouldn’t take long.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “You’ve been drinking,” she pointed out. But something in Ella’s expression made her pause. What else was she here for, if not to hear what she wanted to say? “Fine.” Alice sighed, giving Ella a familiar look of reproach. “I’ll drive.”

Chapter Thirty-five

The city at night was a stream of neon and headlights, the breeze warm through their windows. Ella directed her down a series of quiet side streets, skillfully avoiding the angry rush of the main freeways.

“What’s this?” she asked, turning Alice’s tiny console over in her hands.

“The GPS tracking on your car,” Alice replied, with a glimmer of a smile.

“Oh.”

No more was said for the rest of the journey to Santa Monica, until Ella instructed her to pull into a deserted parking garage, tucked under a stretch of modern offices and bathed in the pale glow of security lights.

“Let me guess,” Alice remarked drily, as she descended into the concrete basement. “You’re planning on killing me, hiding my body, and assuming my identity for real?”

“Darn.” Ella grinned. “Foiled again.”

Alice parked beside the elevator exit, unnerved by the surroundings despite her joke. She lingered in the car, safe behind central locking.

“It’s creepy, I know,” Ella agreed, looking around. “I’ve watched far too many horror movies set in these places. Come on.” She led Alice to the lifts and rode to the third floor. “There’s a security guard at the front desk,” she said, as if to reassure herself or Alice, she wasn’t sure. “And it’s much nicer in daylight.”

They stepped into an open-plan reception area, Ella flicking on lights as they went. “It’s sort of a collective office space, for several small businesses. There’s a record label and a digital media company and a literary agency just up the hall.” She pointed out different offices as they passed, with frosted glass windows and gleaming desktop computers at every turn. “The plan is to share a receptionist, switchboard, mail room: all the basic admin roles—that way, costs are low, but each individual company stays professional and competitive.”

“Um, all right…” Alice looked around, still not sure what they were doing there. She had a sneaking suspicion it related to Ella’s grand partnership proposal, but surely she hadn’t been serious?

She was. Ella unlocked the last door, throwing it open proudly to reveal a large, L-shaped space with white walls, bare, wooden floorboards, and wide windows.

“Is that the ocean?” Alice asked, walking over and resting her forehead, cool against the glass. It was nothing more than a stretch of black beyond the cluster of lights, but she watched it nonetheless.

“What do you think? We wouldn’t need a waiting area because of the reception out there, of course. So, this could be our office space. Or we could split it, for privacy. A wall here, maybe.” She paced the floor in illustration.

“You actually mean it.” Alice didn’t know whether to laugh or sink to the floor, worn out. She did the latter, stretching out flat on the smooth surface, enjoying the chill where it touched her bare skin. It felt as if everything were drifting away from her, here in the dull gleam of late night and bright golden lights: the expectations, all her fierce determination.

Whatever it was she’d needed so much from Ella, Alice knew now with absolute certainty, she wouldn’t get it.

“It’s far-fetched, I know.” Ella took a seat, cross-legged next to her. “But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t work.”

Alice could think of a hundred reasons why not.

“I can’t trust you,” she started quietly, but even as she said the words, she felt the strange déjà vu of familiarity. It was like they were lounging back at her flat or on Ella’s living room floor, after one too many glasses of wine. But those days were long behind them, and even if Alice had kept them in the back of her mind during all this tracking and trailing, they were empty memories of something past. She sighed, rolling her head to the side to look at Ella. “Even if I understand, how it all got out of hand, and you never meant to hurt me…I can’t trust you.”

“Not yet,” Ella agreed, a note of optimism in her voice. “But…you could, with time.”

Alice looked at her. “Is it my friendship you want, or just the guarantee I won’t turn you in?” Ella made as if to protest, but Alice gave her a weary smile. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing here, Ella. The more tangled up I get in this agency, and all your plans, the more trouble I’d get into if I ever revealed the truth. This isn’t a partnership, it’s an insurance policy.”

Ella paused, rueful. “Can’t it be both?”

Alice gave a tired laugh. The strange thing was, she didn’t even blame her for trying. Ella was building a life here, after what had probably been years of fleeing from one fraud to another, so it was no wonder she was so eager to cling to everything she had.

“You know me,” she said, curious. “You know I wouldn’t agree to this, so why even bother asking?”

Ella looked at her carefully. “I don’t really, not anymore. The Alice I knew would have sent the police straight for me. In fact,” she said, with a glimmer of a smile, “the Alice I knew wouldn’t have wasted her time trying to track me down. Can you really blame me for trying?”

Alice was silent. She had changed, of course, and perhaps not in the most law-abiding of ways, but setting up here with Ella seemed more concrete than any white lies and minor break-in.

“You’d like it here,” Ella said, still sounding hopeful. “The weather is wonderful, for a start, and the men all adore the accent. We’d have fun.”

We
. Again, with the collective nouns. But for all the time they’d spent together while Ella was in London, theirs had not been an enduring friendship, with history to cling to, like Alice had with Flora or even Cassie. In fact, Alice wondered with new clarity, if the end hadn’t come with so much drama and confusion, would she feel such an emotional pull toward Ella at all?

She’d been chasing somebody—something—that didn’t even exist.

“Think about it, at least?” Ella spoke again, her control clearly slipping. “You’re finished at the agency—you need a new job. It could be an adventure!”

Alice sighed. “Ella…”

“I want to stay,” she said stubbornly. “This time, I want my life to be something real.”

“Without earning it?”

Ella gave a sharp laugh. “Who earns anything these days?”

“Then what’s stopping you doing this with your own name? Your real one,” Alice tried, watching for any sign of emotion.

Ella just gave Alice a look, unreadable, but tinted with some defensive shell. “That’s not going to happen,” she replied, and her tone was so final, Alice knew it to be true.

“Then, I don’t know what to say.” Alice looked around the polished room, bright from the spotlights, and full of potential. It would be fun here, in the sunshine—that much was true. And with Rupert already wanting her to represent him, and all the contacts she could make…

Alice shook her head. “It’s late. I need to get some sleep.”

Ella looked at her, uncertain.

“We’ll talk more tomorrow,” Alice reassured her, even though she had no idea what more could be said.

“And you’ll think about it?” Ella helped her to her feet.

Alice nodded. However absurd Ella’s plan, Alice could sleep on it, at least until she found some other solution.

“But can I even trust you not to run?” She stopped halfway to the door, turning back to Ella. “This won’t work if you’re just going to bolt the minute my back is turned. The police dropped their inquiries ages ago,” she added. “And nobody knows where you are.”

Ella nodded, giving Alice a small smile. “I’m staying. I promise,” she vowed. “I told you—I’m done with that. I want something normal, for a change.”

“You call the Hollywood Hills normal?” Alice mocked, with a faint grin.

“Don’t knock it.” Ella laughed, switching off the lights behind them and locking the doors up tight. “I’ve got a view of the whole city.”

Alice dropped her back at the hotel to pick up her car, idling by the curb for a moment as the late-night crowds on Sunset streamed past: hustling toward fast-food outlets or the impatient lines snaking outside every club. Above them, the Chateau Marmont’s turrets glowed in their spotlights, towering over the boulevard like a film set plucked from a different era.

“Chris is having a brunch thing tomorrow,” Ella said, collecting her things. She gave Alice a hopeful smile. “There’s some kind of sports game on TV, but I usually just hang by the pool during all of that. Want to come to my place around eleven? He’s sending a car for me—isn’t that ridiculous?”

Alice paused. “All right,” she agreed slowly. “My flight back isn’t until Saturday.”

“Then I have time to talk you around.” Ella grinned. “I have excellent powers of persuasion.”

Alice smiled softly. “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

She drove back to her hotel deep in thought. Ella’s proposition was ridiculous, of course, but there was a certain neat symmetry to it that Alice couldn’t help but find appealing. Right then, their lives—and identities—were tangled in all kinds of difficult ways, and the challenge facing Alice now was how to extract herself from whatever world Ella had created, without jeopardizing the contacts or reputation she’d managed to achieve, in Alice’s name. Or was that Angelique?

Sighing, she parked and strolled into the hotel. She would have to find some way of taking her identity back that didn’t do Ella any harm. Despite everything, she was still loath to report her to the police, and if she—

Alice stopped, noticing a rather familiar body slumped on one of the couches in the lobby. He was unshaven and clearly jet lagged, but her heart leaped just the same.

“Nathan?”

He jolted awake, blinking at her. “Hey, there you are.”

“What are you doing here?” She took a step closer, reaching out a hand to help him up. He glanced around, disoriented, before turning back to her. Then he stopped, giving her one of those half smiles that still did curious things to her.

“Looking for you. I figured you might want my help tracking Ella down.”

Alice looked up at him. “But you said I had to stop.”

“Which would have been the sensible thing, sure.” He tugged her closer. “But since you seem determined to find this woman…”

“I did.” Her reply was muffled as she pressed herself against his shirt. God, it felt good to be near him again. Bracing herself for disapproval, Alice closed her eyes and admitted, “I spent the evening with her.”

Nathan exhaled, but Alice felt no tension in his movement. Instead, his tone was even. “How did that work out for you?”

“No bloody idea.” Alice drew back and gave him a rueful smile. She paused. “I’m sorry, about the lies, I really am. But none of this was about you.”

He sighed again. “Yeah, that was kind of hard to take.” He held her close, resting his chin on the top of her head. “So, how about we make more things about me? You know I crave the attention.” His tone was joking, but when Alice checked the look in his eyes, she saw that he was truly sincere. He meant it.

She smiled, realizing what it must have taken for him to come all this way. She mattered to him, after all. “I can definitely manage that. How does the rest of the week sound? You can help me decide what on earth I’m going to do about Ella.”

“I take it throwing her in jail isn’t an option?” Nathan hoisted his bag up onto his shoulder.

Alice laughed.“I’m afraid not. But hey, you can use your imagination.”

“Great,” Nathan drawled. “But when this is figured out, I want to get, far, far away from her. I’m thinking a hammock somewhere…You in a tiny bikini…”

Alice raised an eyebrow. “If it’s really important to you, then I’m sure I’ll find the strength.” She grinned. Alice held out her hand, and he took it. “I have to warn you though,” she sighed, nudging him in the direction of the elevators. “The beds here leave something to be desired.”

“I haven’t slept in days. I’ll be out in a flash.”

***

Despite her own hectic day, Alice only drifted in and out of sleep, watching Nathan’s body beside her as dawn light began to seep into the room. He lay with one arm thrown across her, rolling to unconsciously mirror her position should she turn away.

So this was it.

Alice felt a slow warmth spread through her that had nothing to do with the sun spilling through the ugly drapes or the heat gently radiating from Nathan’s bare skin. This was what she’d been watching all these years, the intimacy to which she’d only ever been a spectator. He was hers, enough to come all this way for her, at least, and stay—not because he agreed with what she was doing but because he’d thought that she might need him. She watched him shift, stretching as he woke.

He yawned. “Man, you were right about this mattress.”

Alice smiled as he tugged her closer. She rested her head on his chest, tracing slow circles above his heart.

“So what’s the plan for today,” he asked, the words vibrating gently against her.

Alice paused. “I’m meeting Ella,” she ventured, but aside from a slow exhale, Nathan didn’t offer any argument. Alice pulled away slightly, so that her face was on the pillow next to his, just inches away.

“And?”

This time, she was the one to sigh. “And…I don’t know. She doesn’t have any answers for me,” Alice admitted.

“I’m sorry.” Nathan gave her a faint smile. He reached over, toying with loose strands of her hair.