Authors: Shey Stahl
Aries’
next statement is what hit home for me, “It hurts her too.”
My eyes
fell closed, my head hung. All this time, for twenty some fucking years I only
focused on how this all made
me
feel. Oblivious to the fact this hurt
Sway just as much. That vital bond between us was so true, so intense that
anything she or I felt, the other felt just as strong.
How could
I have missed that?
When I
stepped outside, Sway was in the hallway with the boys sitting against the
wall. Axel stared at his feet. Casten was focused on the nurse behind the front
desk.
I kicked
Casten throwing my arm around Sway. “Don’t be so obvious.”
He grinned
briefly, stood along with Axel, and motioned to the door. “Can we see Arie?”
“Yeah,
she’s awake.”
Arie would
be fine. Aside from the bruises, she had a cracked rib but it was more of an
emotional blow for her. Arie was a tough girl and to let a guy have that kind
of control over her wasn’t something she took lightly especially after her
dealings with Ricky Hagen last year.
Sway and I
watched from in the hall as the boys entered her room to sit in bed with her,
she seemed happy to have them with her.
While Sway
smiled watching them interact with her, I focused on her, more beautiful than
the first day I met her. Leaning back against the wall, I crossed my left foot
over my right and did the same with my arms. My head hung, staring at my black
Puma shoes before looking back up at Sway when she let out a soft giggle at the
kids messing with each other.
Sighing, I
leaned into her, our bodies coming together. My right hand lifted to pull her
against me tighter.
“I never
saw it,” I muttered mostly to myself but she heard.
“It was hard
to see,” she answered avoiding my gaze, “Don’t be so hard on
yourself
.”
She knew.
Nodding,
my head rested against her shoulder as my arms wrapped tightly around her.
“How’d I
miss it? How did I not realize?”
“You
weren’t ready.” Her voice seemed to hold pain. A pain I knew well. “To
see it, you had to understand. At the time, you didn’t.”
“I’m ready
now.”
Sway
smiled with soft reassuring eyes. “I know you are.”
For
someone to hold onto something for so long, so strongly, it was hard to imagine
it could be relieved by just three words, but it was.
Then she
said it.
“I need
you.”
She did.
She needed me to be strong. Be the man, husband and father to our kids. More
importantly, she needed her other half as our lives changed over time, to be
her own fire resistant head sock.
I wouldn’t
say everything fell into place after that. It was a constant battle with
myself
but it helped to realize the consequences of my
reactions to it. When I hurt, Sway hurt, our kids hurt. That’s what changed for
me. Take off the head sock and you’re vulnerable, but guess what? So is your
family because they feel that same heat radiating from you.
Arie
recovered quickly, stayed out of trouble, and moved back home. Since she was no
longer going to school, she started working on Axel’s fan club just as Emma did
for me. Only I’m sure she was less annoying.
I did have
another conversation with Brian that went something like this. “Touch my
daughter again, or any other woman and I’ll break every bone in your goddamn
body
...
slowly.”
I think
between me, Axel and Lane, he got the message loud and clear.
I never
thought of myself, or my boys, as being violent but when someone close to you
is in danger or harm, you would be amazed at the way you fight for the
eye-for-an-eye.
Eye-for-an-eye
didn’t make things better. Sure, you feel good thinking you taught them a
lesson, but what are the consequences, or in my case haunting you, that is
what’s left. Nothing makes that go away. Regardless, how hard you try. You
fight for what you believe in no matter what.
8.
Open Wheel – Jameson
Open Wheel – Cars that have no fenders with exposed wheels.
Examples would be midgets, sprint cars and Silver crown.
“These questions are damn near offensive,” Spencer said
next to me.
“You mean intrusive?” I asked looking over the forms and
then signing where it said patient’s signature. Tucking the pen into the
clipboard, I handed it back to the nurse and looked at Spencer.
He thought for a minute and then nodded handing his own
forms over. “Yeah, intrusive,”
Spencer was starting to sweat. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t know man,” he tossed his phone on the table next
to him. “What if they slip?”
“Hell, now you’re freaking me out.”
Getting a vasectomy wasn’t what I had planned for my Monday
but when Sway asked me for another baby the other day, I decided it was time.
Imagine the trouble a fourth kid could get into?
Spencer, the good supporting brother I always knew him to
be when I needed him, decided it was time he was cut too when Alley thought she
was pregnant last month. Being in their mid-forties, adding more kids wasn’t
ideal for them either. That’s how we ended up at Dr. Welling’s office in
downtown Charlotte.
He stepped from his office ready to take me back when
Spencer patted my back. “Good luck brother.”
Looking back at him I mustered a smile “Yeah, you too.”
I’m not gonna lie. I was petrified.
Dr. Welling looked amused, “Two for one special today
boys?”
I wasn’t exactly okay with the doctor making jokes right
before he would be taking a scalpel to my manhood. I wanted him to be
professional and focused.
He worked quickly and I appreciated that but I felt like I
was about to give birth or something with the way he had me positioned and
honestly, I think I fainted when I saw the scalpel heading toward my gears
because I don’t remember much else.
Afterward, I sat in the waiting room with ice on my gears
when Spencer came stumbling out. “Goddamn these are good drugs!” He pumped a
bottle in the air and smiled.
Turns out, that bottle was good. Four hours later and two
beers, we were feeling pretty good and pulling one over on Aiden and his lawn.
“Man, must be the soil.” Aiden scratched his head squinting
into the sun when I saw him some three hours later. Spencer and I had decided a
good ole tractor race would be a great idea to help take our minds off our
gears. “But I don’t understand. Yours looks good. How do you get it to look
like that?”
“Because I’m awesome,” I started the tractor and took off
before my smile gave me away.
Spencer met me around the corner near the like, laughing.
“He can’t really be that dumb, can he?”
“Apparently he is.” I smiled. “I’m gonna head home now. I
think I saw Sway and Alley come back from shopping. I’m hoping they bought
food.”
“Cool man,” Spencer started his own tractor. “See
ya
tomorrow.” He tipped his hat and sped off down the
gravel road.
Sway greeted me in the garage. “How’s the gears
feelin
’ champ?”
“Sore.” Taking the keys out of the tractor, I jumped down
and then regretted the move when I felt the pain between my legs. “Wanna give
them some love?”
“Isn’t that frowned upon in your condition?”
“Who cares?”
“I’m sure you will when they swell up and you can’t walk.”
I stopped at the door and looked over my shoulder at her as
we entered the house. “I’m not allowed to have sex? That’s dumb.”
“I think you probably could
...
” Sway hinted setting bags of groceries on the counter and
then handing me a bag of frozen corn and gave me a little shake of her hips
with a big grin. “…but I’m sure they would swell up with the motions.”
“Did you have your balls taken off today?”
“Why is she here today?” I groaned watching Rosa walk in
carrying a few bags.
Rosa pushed a bag into my chest. “Go help with the bags.”
“Go clean the house and maybe I’ll help carry groceries.”
Rosa and I looked at Sway when she laughed. “You two are so
cute together.”
“Don’t encourage her.” I moaned heading into the family
room with my bottle of pills and frozen corn.
When they finished putting the groceries away, Sway made
dinner and Rosa found the need to watch Monday night football with me. It was
the first night in a long time I was able to watch football and since the
Seahawks were on, I was watching the game. Being a born and raised Washington
native, I still cheered for all the local teams back home.
“This is boring.” Rosa then burped and pounded her chest
before cracking open another beer. “Let’s watch a movie.”
“Again Rosa, shouldn’t you be cleaning?”
“Oh yeah, probably, I’m just not feeling it today. It’s
hot.”
“We have air conditioning.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” she gestured to her chest. “This
place is like a goddamn sauna. I have a pool of sweat between my tits.”
“Stop talking about your tits.”
“Jameson,” her face appeared concerned, her hand held to
her chest. “I’m sensing some aggression. Maybe we should get counseling.”
“I do have aggression because I pay you to sit around. But
you and I don’t need to get along therefore we don’t need counseling. Go
clean.”
“Nah,” she kicked her legs up next to mine and stole my
beer. “Maybe later, let’s finish this game.”
Rosa and I watched the rest of the game, the Seahawks lost
by one touchdown to the Bears. After that ESPN went on to discuss the upcoming
NASCAR race. We had just finished out our regular series and moved into the
chase format where the top twelve in points battled for the championship. We
were coming up on the third race of ten and I was running fourth with only five
points separating the top five drivers. The next race on the schedule was the
Monster Million and I think all of us were looking forward to it. I know I was.
Rosa, still sitting next to me, had a thing for the new
rookie driver Brody Williams. Who didn’t have a thing for him? Thankfully, my
wife didn’t but almost anyone under twenty-five drooled over him and his blue
eyes.
“He’s so adorable.” Rosa gushed as if he was a puppy. “Look
at those eyes!”
“Hey, I’m adorable too.” I said looking over at Rosa. Sway
was sitting across from us curled up reading a book. She laughed when Rosa
reached over to pinch my cheek.
“You are more sexy than adorable.” She said to me winking.
Sway looked up over her book. “I think you’re adorable
baby.”
I winked at Sway adjusting my bag of corn. “And I think
you’re sexy.”
Rosa laughed at us before turning our attention back to the
television.
“So Brody,” Ashley Conner, a FOX news reporter and a woman
that constantly sought out young talent for her bed, interviewed Brody in their
studio. It was evident by their touches Brody knew very well what that bed
looked like too.
“How do you feel about your first season in the Cup series,
and in the chase? Do you think you can pull off a championship title in your
first season?”
“Oh I think I can.” Brody replied with his usual cocky
attitude. “If Riley can, I think that I can.”
“Are you sure about that?” Ashley gave him a sultry look,
Sway huffed at the screen rolling her eyes. “Jameson Riley’s been the only
driver to date to win the championship in his rookie year.”
Brody, still cocky, laughed. “I think what this series
needs is less guys like Riley and more of us younger boys who make the series
look young and fresh. I’m not saying Riley isn’t good but I think the sport has
moved in a different direction.”
“What the fuck is he talking about?” I grumbled in
frustration.
“Do you feel he’s lost his Rowdy Way?”
Again, Brody laughed. “I think as long as you are not
Darrin Torres, you’re safe.”
I turned the television off and looked at Sway.
“Why is it that people never forget? They remember everything
I’ve ever said over the years in the event they can come back at me with it.
They’ll do anything to remind me.”
Sensing the shift in my mood, Sway tossed her book aside.
“Come on champ.” Her tiny hands reached out to grasp me. “Let’s go give your
gears some
lovin
’.”
“That’s what I’m talking about.” I tossed my frozen corn at
Rosa who was still drinking beer. “Go clean Rosa.”
She put the frozen corn down her shirt. “Nah, I’m gonna
watch a movie.”
“Why do we pay her?”
Sway laughed leading me upstairs to our room, “Because
she’s funny.”