The Left Behind Collection: All 12 Books (74 page)

“I’m sorry,” she said. “This is going to be so hard.”

“I know.”

“No you don’t. Buck, you can’t say you care for me as much as I care for you.”

Buck had already planned his first kiss. He had hoped to find a reason to simply brush her lips with his at the end of an evening, say good night, and slip away. He didn’t want to have to deal with her reaction, or deal with kissing her again just then. It was going to be meaningful and special, but quick and simple, something they could build on later.

But now he wanted her to know how he felt. He was angry at himself for being so good at writing but so incompetent at telling her to her face how much she meant to him.

He stepped back and took her face in his hands. She resisted at first and tried to hide her face in his chest again, but he insisted she look at him. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again,” he said.

“But, Buck, it’s true—”

He lowered his head until his eyes were inches from hers. “Did you hear me?” he said. “Don’t say it again. Don’t imply it, don’t even think it. There’s no possible way you could care for me more than I care for you. You are my whole life. I
love
you, Chloe. Don’t you know that?”

He felt her nearly recoil at that first declaration of his love. Her tears rolled over his hands, and she began to say, “How would I—?” But he lowered his mouth to hers, cutting off her words. And it was no quick touch of the lips. She raised her hands between his arms, wrapped them around his neck, and held him tight as they kissed.

She pulled away briefly and whispered, “Did you only say that because you’re leaving and—” But he covered her mouth again with his.

A moment later he touched her nose with the tip of his own and said, “Don’t doubt my love for you ever again. Promise.”

“But, Buck—”

“Promise.”

“I promise. And I love you, too, Buck.”

Rayford was not sure just when his respect and admiration for Amanda White had developed into love. He had grown fond of her, liked her, loved being with her. They had become comfortable enough with each other to touch each other when they spoke, to hold hands, to embrace. But when he found himself missing her after only a day away and needing to call her when he was gone more than a few days, he knew something was developing.

She actually started kissing Rayford before he kissed her. Twice when he returned to Chicago after several days away, Amanda greeted him with a hug and a peck on the cheek. He had liked it, but had also been embarrassed. But the third time he returned from such a trip, she merely embraced him and did not attempt to kiss him.

His timing had been perfect. He had decided that if she tried to kiss him on the cheek this time, he would turn and take it on the lips. He had brought her a gift from Paris, an expensive necklace. When she did not try to kiss him, he just held her embrace longer and said, “Come here a minute.”

As passengers and crew passed them in the corridor, Rayford had Amanda sit next to him in the waiting area. It was awkward with an armrest between them. Both were bundled up, Amanda in a fur coat and Rayford with his uniform coat over his arm. He pulled the jewelry box from the sack in his flight bag. “This is for you.”

Amanda, knowing where he had been, made a big deal over the bag, the name of the store, and the box. Finally, she opened it and appeared to stop breathing. It was a magnificent piece, gold with diamonds. “Rayford!” she said. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” he said. And he took her in his arms, the package in her hands nearly crushed between them, and kissed her.

“I still don’t know what to say,” she said with a twinkle in her eye, and he kissed her again.

Now, two weeks before his move to New Babylon, Rayford had been on the phone with Buck more often than Chloe had. While she was warming up the car, he sneaked in one last call.

“Everything set?” he asked Buck.

“Everything. I’ll be there.”

“Good.”

In the car he asked Chloe, “What’s the status on your apartment?”

“They promised it’ll be ready,” she said. “But I’m getting a little skittish because they keep stalling me on the paperwork.”

“You’re going to be all right here with me in New Babylon and Buck in New York?”

“It’s not my first choice, but I have no interest living anywhere near Carpathia, and certainly not in Iraq.”

“What’s Buck saying?”

“I haven’t been able to reach him today. He must be on assignment somewhere. I know he wanted to see Fitzhugh in D.C. soon.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s where he is.”

Chloe stopped at Amanda’s clothing store in Des Plaines and waited in the car as Rayford hurried in to say good-bye.

“Is he here?” he asked her secretary.

“He is, and she is,” the secretary said. “She’s in her office, and he’s in that one.” She pointed to a smaller office next to Amanda’s.

“As soon as I’m in there, would you run out to the car and tell my daughter she has a call she can take in there?”

“Sure.”

Rayford knocked and entered Amanda’s office. “I hope you’re not expecting me to be cheery, Ray,” she said. “I’ve been trying to work up a smile all day, and it’s not working.”

“Let me see what I can do to make you smile,” he said, pulling her from her chair and kissing her.

“You know Buck’s here,” she said.

“Yeah. It’ll be a nice surprise for Chloe.”

“Are you going to come and surprise me like that sometime?”

“Maybe I’ll surprise you right now,” he said. “How do you like your new job?”

“I hate it. I’d leave in a New York minute if the right guy came along.”

“The right guy just came along,” Rayford said, slipping a small box from his side pocket and pressing it into Amanda’s back.

She pulled away. “What
is
that?”

“What? This? I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

Buck had heard Rayford outside the door and knew Chloe wouldn’t be far behind. He turned the light off and felt his way back to the chair behind the desk. In a few minutes he heard Chloe. “In here?” she said.

“Yes, ma’am,” the secretary said. “Line one.”

The door opened slowly, and Chloe turned on the light. She jumped when she saw Buck behind the desk, then squealed and ran to him. As soon as he stood, she leaped into his arms and he held her, twirling her around.

“Shhh,” he said. “This is a business!”

“Did Daddy know about this? Of course he did! He had to.”

“He knew,” Buck said. “Surprised?”

“Of course! What are you doing in town? How long can you stay? What are we doing?”

“I’m in town only to see you. I leave on a red-eye tonight for Washington. And we’re going to dinner after we drop your dad off at the airport.”

“Yeah, you came only to see me.”

“I told you a long time ago to never doubt my love for you.”

“I know.”

He turned and lowered her into the chair he had been sitting in, then knelt before her and pulled a ring box from his pocket.

“Oh, Ray!” Amanda said, gazing at the ring on her finger. “I love you. And for the few years we have left, I will love being yours.”

“There’s one more thing,” he said.

“What?”

“Buck and I have been talking. He’s proposing in the next room right now, and we were wondering if you two might be open to a double ceremony with Bruce officiating.”

Rayford wondered how she would react. She and Chloe were friends, but not close.

“That would be wonderful! But Chloe might not go for it, so let’s leave it up to her, no hard feelings either way. If she wants her own day, fine. But I love the idea. When?”

“The day before we close on the house. You give two weeks’ notice here and move with me to New Babylon.”

“Rayford Steele!” she said. “It takes a while to get your temperature up, but not long to make you boil. I’ll write my resignation before your plane leaves the ground.”

“Have you wondered why you never got the paperwork on the apartment?” Buck asked.

Chloe nodded.

“Because that deal’s not going to happen. If you’ll have me, I want you to move in with me in New York.”

“Rayford,” Amanda said. “I didn’t think I would ever be truly happy again. But I am.”