The Leaves in Winter (33 page)

“Why should I believe you? You’re a tool of who knows what.”

“Doesn’t matter, doesn’t change the facts. A billion kids are sterile. I’ve seen the evidence. I’ve been in the lab and studied the agent that did it. Whether that happened because we did it to ourselves or Nature did it, I don’t know. One thing’s for sure; when you finally come round to realize it’s not about delayed fertility, it’s about sterility, you’ll think twice about what you call science fiction.”

“You never change. Still trusting of anything official, forever wedded to your delusions.”

“Am I?” Faye stood up. “You had Alyssa. She’s healthy and whole. You can sit there and be smug. Everything comes easy for you, isn’t that right.”

Janis jumped up. “You’ll never forgive me, will you! I took Colin. I had a baby. I moved on. It’s my name on
GenLET
. I had a life! Well, so did you! Don’t lecture me on what’s happening to the fucking world. There’s a madman out there about to kill six billion people. You’re the one in denial. For some ungodly reason, you and your handlers are covering up for him.”

Faye was too upset to yell back. “As usual, you’ve got it wrong. But I guess that’s another thing that comes your way too easily.”

Janis stormed out of the room, collected her coat and marched outside, slamming the front door behind her. Faye slumped back down, tears in her eyes.

Sara stood at the kitchen sink, her hands shaking, her hopes for the evening blown apart. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

Faye’s eyes stayed downcast. “Nothing’s normal any more.”

“That thing you said – about all those children being sterile. Is that true?”

Faye nodded. “It’s a nightmare. You mustn’t tell anyone. I shouldn’t have said anything. She just got me so worked up.”

Sara came back to the table and took Faye’s hand. “You have to go after her. You two need each other.”

“What good would it do? She only agreed to come with me because I promised she’d see Alyssa.”

“Did you mean that?”

Faye nodded. “Alyssa is being protected – for a special reason.”

“Then go after Janis. She wants Alyssa more than anything.”

“That doesn’t mean she’ll listen.”

“That’s ridiculous. You two are still having an argument that started long ago – and it isn’t about your senior paper. If you can’t get past that, then at least put it aside. Talk to her about what needs to happen now.”

“She has to be open to it. She has to calm down first.”

“No. That’s the worst thing to do.” Sara was emphatic. “I know her. If she calms down like this, her mind will be set. You’ll never get through to her.”

“Once I get her in the lab, she’ll see the evidence.”

“Evidence of what? Unless you can prove that Eugene Mass is not planning this thing she calls 3rd Protocol, she’s going to resist. I would too. She already told you she thinks you and the government are probably involved with him.”

Faye looked up. “Do you think that? Have I given that impression?”

Sara hesitated. “All I know is, Janis is convinced something’s wrong. I don’t believe you’d do such a thing. But I can’t speak for the government or what they told you. If I were you, I’d make sure I wasn’t being used.”

Faye’s own doubts resurfaced; a month of reluctant revelations from Colin came back to haunt her. Janis and she might have little but the past in common, but at least they could agree to go after the truth here and now.

“All right, I’ll try.” Faye stood and gave Sara a hug before getting a coat and heading out the front door. With weather so frosty, there was only one place to look for Janis. The boat house.

With hand buried deep in pockets, Faye set out at a healthy pace. Twilight was bright in the western sky and the settling air was calm and cold. The only sound was the crunch of snow underfoot or the errant call of a Pine Grosbeak in the far woods.

Along the footpath, the surroundings were familiar yet dreamlike. She knew the farm’s extended grounds as if they were a favorite story told often but far too long ago; very little had changed. And yet, to come back in winter had her walking through a landscape out-of-sync with summer memories. Everywhere she saw reminders of something once enjoyed, something gone. All that was left was an ache, a regret. She wouldn’t wake up from a reality that included Granite Peak Installation, the cursed mystery of Ghyvir-C, and the barren hopes of her unborn child.

At the boat house, Faye saw no light, only Janis’ footprints leading onward in the snow. Faye followed the meandering path through light woods down to the frigid shoreline. There she found Janis, hugging herself for warmth and staring out across the frozen lake. She’d been crying but pretended she hadn’t.

Faye pretended they hadn’t argued but pulsed with the adrenaline of anger.

Shivering, she settled alongside Janis and took in the view.

“Now I know why we never came here in winter.”

Janis gazed up through bare branches. “Were summers really that good?”

The question took Faye off-guard. To keep the conversation going, she was obliged to answer. “Yeah, they were good…”

“…but like anything out of reach, they seem even better now.”

“We could say the same thing about ourselves. Are we really that different?”

Janis turned her head and looked at Faye. “Someone told me once that true success was having no regrets. I don’t know about that anymore.”

“I think most people have something they’d like to do over or make right.”

“Perhaps, but most people aren’t successful – not really.”

“What do you regret?”

Janis took time to consider. “I regret the creation of
GenLET
. I should have known it would be put to no good.”

“How so?”

“Oh, it’s just a feeling I have, but it’s just begun.”

“If we only knew all the stuff going on.”

“All of us can be such useful idiots. Useful for what we know but idiots for the way we keep expecting a different outcome.”

Faye considered her own circumstances. “I know I didn’t want to believe what I saw. I wouldn’t have believed it if Ghyvir’s sputnik wasn’t right in front of me.”

“So they lied to us. Why are we always surprised?”

“It’s not just that. It’s the idea of crafting something so elegant, so advanced, and yet so utterly malicious.”

Janis sighed. “It’s all a matter of degree. Create one bullet to kill one person, it’s quite acceptable. Create one bullet that kills everybody, suddenly it seems evil.”

“I guess if I was a pessimist, all of this would have been predictable.”

“Yeah, think of that. If it was predicted, maybe it could have been prevented. But it takes a pessimist to see it.”

“Or even believe it’s possible.” Faye prompted. “If we can’t see what’s coming, then let’s reconstruct the past. It’s the only way to find out what we’re facing now.”

“Easier said than done.”

Faye couldn’t help herself. She offered a conciliatory smile. “But things come so easily for you…”

Janis didn’t smile. She met Faye halfway by letting all reflex anger drain away. “What are you after?”

Quick to be direct, Faye seized the opportunity. “The sputnik’s payload contained a designer suicide gene so the sputnik died once the payload was delivered. What if we track the source of the payload? Was it something corporate, military, or rogue?”

Janis was two steps ahead. “You want me to contact Knockout Mouse. He stole the GAMA that got dumped in the
Sargasso Sea
…”

“Yes, as far as we know. That GAMA had a suicide gene in it. I’d be curious to see what kind of information you can get out of him.”

“It’s a touchy subject. I can give it a try.”

“We have so little to go on. At least we can compare suicide genes.”

“So you admit you don’t trust what they’ve given you.”

“I know I’m not being told the whole story.”

Janis stepped away down the shore. “It’s much more likely you’re being told the
wrong
story.”

“It doesn’t make sense. Give me a good reason why and maybe I’ll believe it.”

“A good reason? There’s nothing good about making one bullet that kills all people.”

“You realize what you’re suggesting. The government, as a matter of policy, wants to collapse the population. That’s what you believe?”

“I don’t know how things are being manipulated. Eugene Mass has worked on this for a long time. He’s clever. I’ve met him, you know.”

Faye followed Janis to a new spot. “All right. I’m not going to argue it. We’ll get the information on the GAMA and take it from there. Agreed?”

Janis nodded and then pointed to the lake. “Remember this spot?”

Faye was caught mid-thought. She looked around. “Not really. Why?”

“Remember six of us in a boat?” Janis’ mood lightened. “You and I went overboard to go for a swim…”

A memory jumped to mind. Faye knew the story and where Janis was going with it. “I remember. We got in the water…”

“I decided to take my suit off.”

“Then you dared me to do the same.”

“You didn’t have to. You gave in to peer pressure.”

Faye felt a flush of embarrassment return as if it was yesterday. “That wasn’t enough for you, was it?”

Janis feigned innocence. “I didn’t suggest we race…”

“Oh, no – but you encouraged it. Don’t blame it all on the boys.”

“It was all their idea – race to shore; the winner gets her swimsuit back.”

Faye stared out at the frozen surface. “And what was the loser supposed to do?”

Janis laughed. “It was all in fun. You could have beaten me.”

“Not likely. That water was cold. I wasn’t used to it.”

“No big deal. You survived.”

“
You
didn’t have to run up to the house
naked
.”

“You could have stayed in the water until they went away.”

“Yeah, like that was going to happen. With the way I was shivering? They knew they could outwait me.”

Seeing the seriousness of Faye’s reaction, Janis lost all humor. The cares of the present pressed in on her once again. “Look at it this way; compared to everything we know now, maybe it wasn’t so bad.”

Faye offered a weak smile. “Yeah…”

“If I could, I’d go back and trade places with you…if it would make any difference…if it would change things.”

Faye stuffed a flood of feeling. “Like you said, true success is having no regrets. I guess we’ll both have to work on that.”

Janis nodded, hugged herself, then started up the path.

Faye took one more look at the cove where they swam the race. They were headed up the bank again, only this time there’d be no winners. For both of them, there was only a sense of being exposed and vulnerable.

Along the path, darkness had taken hold of the woods. Last light teased the sky. Without saying anything more, they made their way back to the main house. Sara had a fire going. There was time for a quiet evening, oolong tea and cookies, and plenty of fire-gazing. As it got later, Faye went upstairs to change clothes. Janis retreated to the den to use Sara’s computer.

It didn’t take long to write the email to Knockout Mouse.

It had been a long day. Too tired to make other arrangements, Janis and Faye prepared to sleep in the same room, in the matching beds. There was no sense disappointing Sara.

As Faye climbed between the sheets, Janis headed back to the den. In her hand was a small package, something that had come for her in the mail while she was away. It didn’t take long to open it and do what she needed to do.

In no time at all, she was back upstairs, crawling under the covers.

It was so much like it had once been, but not in a way that made any difference.

Sleep at the lake house had always meant a deep rest. All three of them fully expected to sleep late the next morning. But that was before the helicopter hovered over the house at 6:00 a.m.