The Leaves 03 (Nico) (23 page)

“You’re an asshole, Nico. I’m just waiting for you to fuck up. Anyway, I’m here for Lark, because when she figures out who you really are, I’m going to help her ‘move on’.” She said with air-quotes and started up the steps. She knew the place, of course, the cottage belonged to her parents.

“Dee,” I bit out, “Lark is going to be my wife. Do you not get that?” She stomped back down the stairs. “What I get is that you and my parents are keeping shit from her. So even if you don’t fuck up, when she finds out you’ve been lying to her all this time, you have no future with her.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked as I raised my voice.

“You can’t be serious, Nico,” she said sarcastically.

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Totally confused, I replied, “I’m pretty fuckin’ serious, Dee. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not keeping shit from Lark.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Like I said, your days are numbered either way.” I was right on the edge of completely losing it. For months now, Dee had been in Lark’s ear, planting these seeds of doubt.

“You wanna clue me in here?”

“You remember a girl named Gina?” She already knew the answer. “That’s what I thought. And my friend, Kay, was there the night you took her home from that bar. But not before you fucked some other slapper in the bathroom. Then you treated her like shit.”

I was an asshole, but I’d been honest with Lark about my past, and I’d been honest with Gina that night.

“Dee, I am telling you this because Lark loves you and I respect that. I don’t know 396/510

what Gina told you or her friend or whatever, but did you know that I went back to see her?”

“No,” she said and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, because she was the first person I felt any connection with since… I know Lark told you what I do. Every time a woman would come in with her terrible story, I had to hear it and really feel it so I could help her express that pain through the tattoo. It helps them heal—”

“Save it, Nico. You’re not a hero or a ther-apist. I, for one, do not think you or what you do is special.”

“Fucking listen to me, Dee. After a while, drinking and pussy didn’t numb the pain or give me the distraction it used to. But with Gina, it was different. She was the first person who reminded me of this feeling I got when—”

“When you were a kid. There it is!” she said as she pointed her finger at me. “It’s the 397/510

same for Lark. She hasn’t had the same connection with anyone since. Not until you.”

“I know that; we’ve talked about it.” Fuck this bitch.

“Clearly, you’re both not telling each other the whole story,” she yelled.

“Nico?” Lark yelled out from the top of stairs. “Don’t be mad, Nico. Come back inside…” Then, when she was close enough to see her, “Dee!!” she cried out and ran down the steps.

Just before she threw her arms around her, Dee got in my face and said, “You better talk to your parents. If you don’t tell her, I will.”

Lark linked their elbows and reached behind her. “Come on, Nico.” She smiled. Her entire demeanor transformed. I could have handled the entire situation upstairs better, that was true, but now I was completely out of my depth, and as I watched them walk 398/510

away, it was like a living breathing bad omen.

Chapter 18

Dee was with Lark constantly. I was afraid to leave them alone together for a single minute. But I needed to take care of some shit apparently. The girls had gone out to dinner, Dee playing her role as the perfect friend by telling Lark she needed a good old-fashioned girly day… and night.

My folks were on their front porch, almost like they had been expecting me. I closed the truck door to its familiar creaking sound as Pop approached me. Mom was holding her arms around her, and I could tell she was crying.

“Pop? What’s going on? What’s wrong with Mom?”

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“Come on inside, Nicolas.” He looked at me with that same face he had the day he made me come to the hospital.

The day I found out Mom had cancer.

I walked in the opposite direction and drove my hands through my hair.

“Nicolas,” he said as he approached. I kept walking, “Nicolas!” he yelled.

I stopped with my back to him as he came up behind me. “I can’t hear it right now, Pop.

Things are fucked with Lark, and I have no idea why. Fuckin’ Dee is up in my shit, she hates me, that’s why I’m here. So, please, please, Pop,” I turned around to face him, “if Mom is sick again, I just need a fuckin’ break from bad news. I—”

“She’s not sick again, son. Come on inside.

We need to talk.”

I watched him walk away and tried to get my shit together, then closed the distance between us. Mom had made coffee and a 401/510

yellow cake with chocolate frosting. It was the dessert she made when I was sad as a kid.

Then she started talking.

“We knew them for years. They’d been trying and trying to get pregnant. One miscarriage after another. She wanted to have a big family.” Mom moved her mug of tea around in her hands. “Then they finally got pregnant. The doctor said it was just plain luck, a miracle, and as much as they wanted more, she couldn’t stand the idea of going through another miscarriage, so they stopped trying.

Then your Pop met this woman. She was trying to find a way to make her and her daughter safe. But she didn’t tell him that. She said her husband was out of work. Pop went to her place, and the husband came to the door, accused him of sleeping with his wife. Pop didn’t want to cause trouble, but he knew there was a kid inside. So he came back that night, determined if he did see trouble, he’d 402/510

call the cops, but he was too late. She had already left, walked I don’t know how many miles in her condition, determined to get her girl to a safe place. Pop saw them not half a block from the shelter.” She looked up at me then, her eyes swollen from crying.

“We couldn’t get a sitter that night. Pop said he had a bad feeling, just wanted to make sure that woman was all right, so I brought you to work with me.” She started to cry again and continued. “You held onto each other all night, Nicolas. I’d never seen anything like it. She just curled up right next to you. Before that night, you used to have these nightmares or night terrors is what the pediatrician called them, but after that, they just up and stopped. You were always so nervous, almost scared, but she changed it.

That five-year-old little girl changed all that.

The psychologist said it was better to give her a fresh start, so we would meet up with Hank and Ramona each year, away from you 403/510

kids. We always thought, as you got older, we would tell you. Then Lark was engaged to someone else, and when you finally met and clicked, we thought you would remember, so we didn’t interfere, and then it just…” She started to cry uncontrollably. “We… we thought we were doing the right thing, baby.

We thought this was your destiny, the two of you.”

I rubbed my hands down my face and looked at my pop holding my mom’s hands.

“Dee called Ramona and Hank and they called you. That’s why you weren’t surprised to see me.”

“That’s right, son. We—” I pushed the chair back, making it crash into something behind me, picked up the cake and threw it into the brick fireplace, sending cake and porcelain everywhere. “Dee was fuckin’ right! Because you people decided to pussy-out and not tell either one of us the truth, we both fuckin’ lose. I lose the 404/510

one person in my life who has ever made it all okay, everything, not just those fuckin’

women I help, everything. Do you get that? I was finally happy. Now since the baby, fuckin’ Dee telling her I’m the fuckin’ devil…

fuck!” I yelled out. “You told me, Pop. You said when your mom died, it left this huge hole, and if it wasn’t for Mom, it would’ve swallowed you up. And then you told me to find a woman that made me feel like Mom made you feel, and I did, Pop. She knocked the fuckin’ wind right outta me.” I walked around the table, not even sure what the fuck to do, and slammed open the door. “Don’t say a fuckin’ word. You talk to Hank and Ramona and you tell them not to interfere. I have to try to fix this, because the hole that’s gonna be left when she’s gone, I might as well just bury myself in it.”

***

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I sent Lark a text when I got reception again, and asked where she was. Dee had taken her to a movie downtown, but said it was going to end at eleven and we should meet for gelato at this new place across from Main Beach. I sent back a text saying I’d meet her there and went straight to the cottage.

There were two things I never asked Lark to show me; one was the wine glasses she had hidden away when she was with Shane. I knew her. I knew her heart and her regret, so I never asked. The second was the wedding dress she’d made. I didn’t ask about it because I wanted to see her in it. But now, I was looking for something else, Georgie. The bear I had given her as a kid. I knew she would have it, and if it was anywhere, it was with the dress and wine glasses.

When I walked into the cottage, everything became clear to me. I thought about the quilt she’d wrapped herself in that first night when she was drunk. One square had a bear, 406/510

one had a baby, which I now assumed was Dee, another had a cactus which must’ve been Hemet… how did I not figure it out before? How did she not figure it out?

I suppose neither one of us thought we would ever see each other again. At the ages of five and seven, not knowing each other’s name, what were the chances? But she’d told me that her dad had murdered her mom, that she’d met a boy when she was a kid, and I told her about Dish. Had either one of us said just a little more, we could have been through this months ago and moved on.

Now, I had all sorts of shit working against me, and I could only hope that she would understand. This wouldn’t be what ruined us.

The real test for her would be the knowledge that I had been there for all the bad shit that happened in her life. She could see beyond the secret; I was positive about that. But now, she was always going to associate me with pain and loss, the loss of her mom and 407/510

the loss of our baby. That was the part that scared the fuck out of me.

I moved a few things out of the way and saw a long white box. I did my best to leave everything else around it undisturbed and carefully removed the lid. Inside, the dress was arranged with tissue in a clear, plastic garment bag. I was sure what I saw through the thin paper was a thing of beauty, and I was right. Lark had outdone herself with her own gown. I took out my phone and checked the time. Ten minutes until I was due to meet the girls. I took a few photos, thinking I would sketch it out exactly as I envisioned later.

In another box, almost like he’d been laid to rest, was Georgie. I wanted to fuckin’ weep when I saw him, but I held my shit together and got the fuck out of there. I closed the lid to Georgie’s empty box and returned everything how it was when I got there, 408/510

locked up behind me, and quickly went to hide Georgie in the safe.

***

“Are you all right?” she asked.

I cradled her face in my hands and said quietly, “I found you.”

Dee cleared her throat next to us. “Hello.

I’m standing right here. Get a room.” I looked at Dee and hoped she could see that I was silently begging her to give me some time. I couldn’t just spit this out. I needed to do it right.

We walked home along the beach, and I told the girls the story of how I dragged my leg up the billion stairs when I was attacked by that shark. I was happy that even Dee had cracked a smile, and hoped she was finally 409/510

warming up to the idea of me, but I feared she was determined to do everything in her power to get me out of Lark’s life.

Lark, on the other hand, was clueless.

Either that or she chose to ignore the mutual animosity between myself and the woman who was not only her best friend, but basically her sister.

We settled Dee into the cottage. Lark’s old bedroom was just how she’d left it and had pretty much become a huge walk in closet.

Her parents would be there in the morning—more awkward moments to look forward to—and I, for one, was praying to everything that I would find a way to do this.

Lark came to bed dressed in a cute little camisole and matching shorts with frilly lace on the butt. It should have been the last thing on my mind, but seeing her in those things made my dick immediately hard.

“Fuck me, babe,” I said and smiled at her.

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“You like?” She threw her chin over her shoulder and batted her eyes?

“Like? Those little shorts were made for your ass and your ass alone. Come here,” I demanded and pulled her onto the bed.

I grabbed both cheeks in my hands and squeezed. “Think you can keep it down? I’m gonna fuck you hard, babe.”

“Wet. Right here.” she said looking between her legs in that breathy sex voice.

“Totally wet.”

I kicked the sheet down and yanked the shorts over her ass. She moved up quickly and pulled them off one foot, then the other, and returned my hands where they had been.

“Like that?” she asked.

“Yeah, babe.”

There was no need for foreplay. I could not only hear that she was ready, I had already felt how wet she was through those little shorts. She stood up on her knees and sunk down slowly. Her eyes closed and her head 411/510

went back on each descent. In that moment, knowing who she really was, the fire that already burned inside me for her, and her alone, had just gotten brighter.

I couldn’t have held her any closer if I tried. Our mouths met and parted ways to find another destination to give each other pleasure. She bit my neck, I sucked her nipples, she drew her nails up my ass and my back, and I pushed deep inside her. Our rhythm steady and ongoing for what seemed like hours, and probably was. She came, then I came, but we never stopped I didn’t even remember falling asleep. But something hit me, sudden, sharp, and painful right in the middle of my chest.