The Law and Dan Mesa (21 page)

“My son, you seem troubled. I heard you praying and saw you crying. I am Father Paul, and this is Saint Phillips Cathedral,” a priest says.

“Sir, I apologize for my presence here. I am Protestant, but I needed a place to pray, and this church looked inviting. I seem to be at the end of my rope. I am Sergeant Dan Mesa of—”

“My son, I know who you are. She was here; she told me you’d be stopping by.”

“Who was here?”

“Sonia was here, or her spirit was here. Son, she loved you dearly, and she knows it wasn’t your fault, what happened. She said to tell you that you have to forgive yourself. She also said you have to move on with your life but don’t forget her. She will see you again when it is your time.”

Mesa falls to his knees, sobbing as Father Paul kneels and prays for him and with him.

“Daniel, you are a good man, just as she said you are,” he says. “It seems as if I know all about you. I know about Garnett and Devlin. I also know about Vietnam and all the things you have been through. You are carrying around a lot of guilt and pain. You should leave it here, and let our Lord and savior carry the burden for you. I know you believe in him, and I know you try to be good and perfect, but remember that none of us is perfect. You just be what you are and continue your relationship with our Lord and savior. Now as for your mission, only you can make the decision to kill or not to kill Carlos and Antonio. Your quest is slowly winding up. Trust in God and go in peace.”

Dan slowly stands up and wipes away the tears. He looks into the priest’s eyes and sees a reflection of something, but he doesn’t know what he has seen.

“Thank you, father. If you see her again, tell her I love her dearly and always will, no matter what.”

“My boy, she knows. She is listening because she is right here. No, don’t try to find her. You won’t be able to see her, but she is here. Now you go on your way and vaya con díos.”

Dan Mesa climbs into the Jeep and heads west. He looks back, but the church is gone. He stops the Jeep and gets out. He smiles a crooked smile, gets back in, and drives on.

The sun is setting in the west, and there is a chill in the air. Mesa stops at a rest stop and puts on his jacket. Then he continues driving westward. It is two a.m. when he pulls into the lot of ranger headquarters in Nogales, Arizona. He walks into the office as Captain Johnson is about to call Tucson. Johnson puts down the phone and turns to Mesa.

“Sergeant, it is good to see you. You had us worried about you. Are you okay?”

“I am fine, sir. I have my report written about what happened in Texas. I also believe you are aware of some of the things that happened while I was there. Captain, am I losing my mind? Sonia is dead, yet I have seen her with my own eyes. How do I explain all of this to anyone?”

“Dan, I don’t know how you explain it. Maybe it isn’t for explanation. It happened; why not accept it? The longer I live, the more I realize there is so much we don’t understand. Maybe we aren’t meant to know everything or to understand everything. You look beat, so why don’t you just crash in the spare room? Dan, the day after tomorrow is Thanksgiving; what do you plan to do? I think you should either spend time with Alana or that friend of yours in Sierra Vista.”

“Yes, sir, I have thought about it. I guess I have been so caught up with this case until I just pushed it to the back of my mind. I am not so good at family dinners and get-togethers. But I have been spending a lot of time by myself, and maybe you are right.”

Mesa walk to the spare room and in a few minutes he is fast asleep, and his mind is clouded with visions from his past. His sleep is intermittent. He sees Sonia and tries to get to her, but the faster he runs, the farther away she moves. He screams and wakes to find the captain staring at him.

“Dan, are you okay? Man, you need some time off. Starting right now, you get in that Jeep and head toward Yuma. That is an order, sergeant. Go someplace and relax. You are wound much too tightly. You need to spend time with people, sergeant, people who only want to be friendly. Do you understand what I am saying?”

“Yes, sir, I understand what you mean, and I will obey.”

Mesa smiles one of his crooked smiles. He gets up, packs his bag and walks away.

In Yuma, Alana is finishing up the day when the phone rings.

“Lieutenant Osborne speaking.”

“Lieutenant, this is Corporal Santiago, and there is a phone call for you on line two from Captain Johnson in Nogales.”

“Thank you, corporal, I’ll take it.” Osborne changes lines. “Hello, captain, how are things in Nogales?”

“All is well here, Alana. The reason I am calling is because Sergeant Mesa is back, and I promised you I would let you know when he returned. Alana, he needs to spend time with people who care about him. I am hoping that you have considered inviting him to join you and your mom for Thanksgiving.”

“Captain, you must have read my mind, because that is just what I planned to do. How is he really?”

“Alana, he is okay on the surface, but deep down, the turmoil is there. He needs to spend time with you away from here, where it all happened. Maybe he can get his mind off of it.”

“Sir, I will do everything I can for him. As you have guessed, he means a lot to me. Thanks for being his friend and caring about him. Bye, sir.”

Lieutenant Osborne takes her weapon from her desk and departs for home. The ride home is pleasant and allows her time to reassess her feelings for Daniel Mesa. She thinks,
I
was
happy
before
I
met
him,
but
there
wasn’t
a
steady
man
in
my
life.
Since
I
met
him,
I
am
still
happy,
but
I
have
this
feeling
that
tells
me
I
would
be
extremely
happy
if
he
was
a
permanent
fixture
in
my
life.
The
problem
is
how
you
get
a
man
like
Dan
Mesa
to
forget
the
problems
he
has
faced
the
last
few
months.
It
is
hard
to
forget.

She in so engrossed in her thoughts that she doesn’t see the light turn green, and the car behind her blows his horn. She turns around, smiles, waves, and drives on.
I
love
him
so
dearly,
but
the
question
is
does
he
love
me
enough
to
try
to
forget
what
happened
to
Sonia
and
get
on
with
his
life?
Maybe
the
answer
is
to
take
it
easy
and
just
make
sure
I
am
there
for
him
and
make
myself
a
major
part
of
his
life
without
him
realizing
it.

Alana shifts into third gear, gathers speed, and drives home. As she pulls into the drive, she remembers she hasn’t ridden the horses in over two weeks. She also notices that her mom is not home, so she decides to change into jeans and go for a ride. The afternoon has a chill so she puts on a duster with a sheepskin lining and heads for the barn. He opens a stall and walks in. Standing there is a tall horse of about seventeen hands high.

“Well, Ben, it has been a while since you’ve been ridden,” she says to her horse. “What do you think of a quiet ride along that mesa over there?” The horse’s ears perk up as if he understands her. He begins prancing. Hurriedly, she saddles the big bay and canters him around the pen. Then they head down the trail at a trot. He is a spirited horse and puts her through the paces. Then he settles down to a nice trail trot.

The cattle are healthy, and there is plenty of grass, but it is time to reduce the size of the herd. They have close to a thousand head of Santa Gertrudis on fifteen hundred acres of land. They probably should reduce the herd to eight hundred. She thinks about it and decides to ask her mom about it.
Mom
is
the
cattle
expert.
She
is
better
than
Dad
was.
How
does
a
lady
with
so
much
class
know
so
much
about
cattle?

Alana smiles and rides on. She spies a family of coyotes, and overhead, a lone eagle rides on the currents of air as if he owns the sky. Maybe he does. In the distance, she hears the sound that reminds her of Dan Mesa. It is the sound of wolf in the distance. In some ways, the wolf and Mesa belong to this land; they complement each other—neither one wanting to be tamed but both knowing their way of life is on its way out. It brings a tinge of sadness to her heart.

The ride extends into hours, and before she realizes it, she has ridden several miles. She stops at a stream and and climbs down from the saddle allowing the bay to drink. She takes the Winchester out of the scabbard and checks the load and its action and returns it. She climbs back into the saddle and heads home. As she rides into the yard, Matilda arrives.

“Hi, Mom. Let me put Ben away. Then I need to talk to you about something.”

Okay, I’ll get dinner started. I am hungry, and I have a new recipe I want to try out on you.”

Alana takes the horse to the stall, washes him down, and dries him off.

“Ben, you are getting fat, and you need exercise. I have to take a few days off and do some work around here. I know what! It will be good for Dan to ride these horses and help me clean out the stalls. Now that you are all clean and fed, I must do the same for me. Bye, big fella.”

As she walks into the kitchen, she smells Italian food.

“Mommy, something smells good in here,” she says.

She gives her mom a big hug and a kiss.

“Now, young lady what do you want to talk to me about?”

“Mom, I was looking at our herd, and we are running about a thousand head on one thousand five hundred acres. I was thinking we should probably reduce it to eight hundred, just in case next summer brings a drought. What do you think?”

“Well, you know, I rode out the other day, and I reached the same conclusion. I think we should load up two hundred and take them to the auction. I believe we could get a tidy sum of money for them. They are blooded stock; your dad made sure of that. Alana, do you think Dan would enjoy helping us round up the stock? It would take his mind off his troubles.”

“Yes, I was thinking along those same lines. Captain Johnson called me today and said Dan was headed this way.”

The phone rings, and Alana picks it up and say, “Hello.”

“Alana, Dan Mesa here. I am wondering if you and your mom would mind if I came for a visit.”

“Dan Mesa, you know you are welcome anytime. Where are you now?”

She hears him laugh.

“Well, if you look out your door, you will see me.”

Alana hangs up the phone and rushes to Matilda saying “Mom, it’s Dan. He is parked in the yard.”

They rush to the door. Standing there larger than life is Dan Mesa. Matilda gives him a hug and steps back to look at him.

“Dan, you have lost weight. You look like a lean wolf that is ready to turn on anyone or anything that moves. I am glad you are here. You need to be with us.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Mesa says. “I am happy to be here. I can’t think of any place I’d rather be. I hope you don’t mind if I bunk with you for a few days. Captain Johnson seems to think I need some time off. He says I am too caught up in this investigation. I know he is right, but I can’t let it go. Anyway, I decided to come for a visit. To tell you the truth, I am tired. I haven’t slept in a week, and I am living on coffee and pure cussed anger.”

Alana walks forward and hugs him as Matilda looks at them and just smiles. Alana starts to speak, but only tears come. Dan Mesa stands there not knowing what to do.

He stammers and says, “Alana, I didn’t mean to make you cry. If my being here is going to cause you pain, then I should leave.”

“Daniel Mesa, you make me so
darn
angry at times. Can’t you tell the difference between pain and joy? I am just happy you are here. You big ape, don’t you know I am madly in love with you? Oops. Mom, I am sorry for my language.”

“Honey, you don’t have to apologize, because I know your heart better than you do. It gives me great joy to see the two of you together. Dan, get your bags and come in. I see you have a new Jeep. I didn’t know you were the Jeep type.”