The Late Blossoming of Frankie Green (39 page)

‘The baby! It just kicked!' Em cried. ‘The baby is fine! It's all going to be okay.'

‘Thank God!' Letty said, holding her chest.

Only when Frankie had reversed into a parking space could she rest her head on her hands in relief.

They got themselves out of the car and began walking to the maternity unit.

‘So you and Floyd,' Em said, in between them, ‘I never did get round to saying what I thought.'

Frankie held up a hand. She'd sorted it in her head and there was no need. ‘It's okay, I'm fine now and—'

Em ignored her. ‘At first, I thought it was disgusting. But now I can sort of see you two together. Little and large, him up there, you down there. It'd be a meeting in the middle.'

‘Yeah, I know what you mean,' Letty said.

‘Whatever. It's not going to happen,' Frankie said, both touched by her friends, but sore from them pouring salt in her wounds. ‘Because I've decided. I'm going back to Jason.'

‘You what, babes? But you said you loved Floyd.'

‘Floyd was in my life for a reason. To help. That's all. It was a crush. A reflection of my uncertainty. That's not grounds enough to throw away my marriage. Jason and I can make it work.'

Reaching the grey storeyed tower of the unit, Frankie opened the door for Em.

‘It's time to be thankful for what I have and not to wish for anything else. Acceptance of who I am and what I want. I've proved I can be a sex kitten. Now I need to move on.'

She shut the door behind them firmly to show this conversation was over.

Looking around, she saw a couple fussing at a car seat in which there was a bundle of newborn. She found she could just about imagine herself in this position too. The salon she could make a start on, she would insist on that to Jason, but then once it was up and running, they could begin a family.

At reception, Em announced her name and informed them there really was no need to go to any trouble because the baby was kicking. A nurse, who was called over, was having none of it.

‘We'd still like to check you out. We'll give you a scan as you're almost twenty-one weeks anyway, so we might as well do it now,' she said, leading the three of them to an empty waiting area.

Just as they sat down, a wholesome-looking man skidded to their feet.

‘Simon Brown!' Em said, her voice cracking as tears came to her.

So this was him! He was Em's equal in every way apart from her tummy: the same height, their lips met with neither of them needing to look up or down. Frankie watched with a lump in her throat as they hugged, embraced in their own little world. In low voices, they exchanged updates on what had happened and where she was hurting: it was beautiful but peculiar to see Em in a relationship. Clearly, he adored her, just as she did him.

Then, being the gent Em had said he was, he turned to Frankie and Letty with an apologetic face. ‘I'm so sorry, that was so rude of me,' he said, putting out a hand to shake, ‘I was just so worried. I'm Simon. Thanks so much for bringing Em here. Anything I can do for you, anything…'

‘Emerald Good-Fellow, please.'

She was being called for her scan. Frankie and Letty watched Simon take Em's hand.

‘Made for each other, those two,' Letty said dreamily. Then she came to and elbowed Frankie. ‘Look who's here.'

It was Floyd, hovering beside his parents at reception. Em hadn't said he was in tow.

In spite of everything she now thought of him, her heart unfurled like a rose on fast-forward. Her mouth burned at the memory of his kiss, while her fingers tingled to touch his smooth skin.

Then he turned and, across the uncrowded room, he saw her. She saw it all in slow-motion: first his eyes widened, then his thick lashes batted downwards, his lips parted and his cheeks began to rise as the corners of his mouth went up into a crescent. He was walking towards her, the tongues of his Converse flapping like a dog's ears, his chest rising.

Frankie felt it all so acutely because it had to mean nothing. She forced herself to think of how he had two-timed her to protect herself from the attraction. She sat on her hands and looked at her lap, focusing on Em.

‘All right, Letty? Frankie?' Floyd said. ‘Where's Em?'

Letty explained she was in with the sonographer, and all they could do now was wait. Frankie lifted her chin coolly and his eyes became confused. But this wasn't the time nor the place to have it out with him. When his parents came over, everyone exchanged subdued hellos. The minutes ticked agonizingly by. Frankie couldn't bear to look at Floyd. Jason, she had to think of him now.

‘What's a TED talk then?' Letty asked, making chit-chat.

‘A lecture. At the university. On going self-sufficient. Mum and dad are into it. Recycling stuff, generators, composting your own poo, that sort of thing.'

‘Floyd! Why do you always have to take it too far?' his mum said, tutting.

Frankie heard him protest. Then she sensed he was moving towards her. Please, no, she thought, as he plonked himself next to her.

‘Everything gravy?' he said, leaning forward on his knees to talk to her.

‘Yep,' she said, ripping a quick off her finger to drown out her excruciating discomfort.

‘Good, good,' he said, rubbing his thighs. ‘Um, I don't suppose you've got time for a quick chatteroon, have you? After this?'

She looked up at him then, wanting to tell him how inappropriate he was, but then the door was opening and Em and Simon reappeared.

Everyone got to their feet in a surge of concern.

Em's face was tracked with tears. Simon's eyes were wet.

Letty threaded her arm through Frankie's as fear raced through their veins.

‘Oh God, what is it, love?' Em's mum said, rushing to her daughter with Floyd and their dad.

‘It's… it's…' Em said, struggling to speak. ‘Simon Brown, you tell them.'

‘It's…' he sniffed. ‘It's a girl! It's all okay!'

A chorus of happiness engulfed them, and it was only after a great deal of ‘thank goodness' and ‘we were so worried' that Simon realized he hadn't introduced himself.

‘Simon. Simon Brown,' he said, offering his hand to Em's parents.

‘Brown, is it?' Floyd said. ‘Because Em never mentioned your surname.'

Even Frankie had to laugh.

Then once Em had instructed her parents to fix their bloody phone, she showed off some grainy photos. ‘That's the head, that's an arm. Her measurements are all normal. Which is perfect. Normal is all I've wanted.'

Simon cleared his throat. ‘We'd like you all to come back to Em's. Have a little celebration. A thank you for looking after us.'

‘Who's going with who then?' Letty said.

‘I've got room for Em and three more so…' Simon pointed at Em's mum and dad plus Letty.

Which left Floyd with Frankie. Letty gave her a look, to ask if she was okay with it. Frankie nodded stiffly – she could hardly make a fuss. She might as well get this ‘chatteroon' out of the way too.

With dread, she asked Floyd where she was dropping him as the others drifted off.

‘Er, Em's. Obviously.' He looked shifty, as if he was trying to work out what she was getting at. But she wanted him to spell it out.

‘Oh because she said you hadn't been staying there… and that you weren't with Sasha… so…'

He shut his eyes briefly – she'd hit the target.

‘Right, yep, I've had a couple of nights away,' he said. ‘The lovebirds were a bit, you know, soppy and pukey, so I thought I'd give them a bit of space.'

‘I see.' He was resisting the truth. How disappointing, how devastating.

‘Are you okay?' he said, all innocent.

‘You wanted a “chatteroon”, so come on, let's do it.'

‘Oo-er,' he said then he winced at his own stupidity.

She shook her head – he couldn't play this card with her anymore. The emotional freedom between them no longer existed.

‘So, I wanted to let you know I've been feeling things,' he said, pushing his specs up his nose. ‘Em clearly told you about me and Sasha. That's over. My call.' He nodded at her as he spoke.

‘Right.' Frankie sounded terse, she knew that, but she was getting fed up with this drawn-out explanation: she wanted him to get it over with. Begin to move on from him.

‘The thing is,' he said, scratching his nose, ‘there's, er, there's another person involved. Has been for a while.'

Her heart cracked. Em had been right. And Frankie's worst fears were proven: their pledge of exclusivity had been a sham. That was how little he had respected her.

‘It's complicated though. I've known her for ages. We've been sort of seeing one another. Not that I've ended it for her, because she's got her own stuff going on.'

‘Listen, I don't really want to know,' she said, walking towards the exit. She felt dirty and stupid. She just wanted to get away from him. Distance herself from her own stupidity at falling for him.

‘I'm fed up of wondering what if,' he said to her back. Then he caught her up. ‘I want to be a grown-up. This woman, she's… beautiful and genuine and honest and I'd do anything to be with her.'

‘Please, Floyd,' she said, the horrendousness of it making the car keys in her hand jangle. How it hurt to hear him talk about another woman like this.

She upped the pace and took in deep gulps of summer air to try to calm herself. But he matched her march through the car park.

‘Are you going back to Jason?' he said, urgently.

‘Yes. We're having a wedding blessing in six months.' Saying it out loud convinced her that that was what she was going to do.

‘And are you happy with that?' he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her round to face him.

‘I don't think it's any of your business,' she said, shaking him off.

Floyd murmured something and sneered.

‘What did you say?' she asked, confronting him.

‘I just said good luck with that.'

‘You know what? You can make your own way to Em's. I'm done with this.'

She needed to get away: the pain was too much. Frankie could see the cars and began to run.

But Floyd's footsteps were in hot pursuit and a screech of tyres meant he'd crossed the road without looking.

‘Are you mad?' she said as he landed next to her by the pay station. ‘Why don't you just leave me alone?'

‘How are you feeling about your dad?' he asked, desperately, as if he wanted to keep the conversation going.

‘Why do you care? I'm happy that he's happy now. He said he'd been living a lie.' She found some coins and fed them into the machine, as her temper rose.

‘Right. Good. There we are. That's it, Frankie!' He was looking at her with expectation. ‘Because I really don't think you should go back to Jason. You're too good for him. Don't waste your life with him.'

‘And what's that got to do with you?' she roared, drawing breath as she unleashed the emotions that she had been sitting on. She was so fierce, Floyd actually took a step back. ‘You broke your promise!' she cried, waving her hands about. ‘You met someone else when we agreed to be exclusive. All the time when you were my teacher you fell for this other woman, and you didn't say a word. I thought we were friends. And yes, you're right about Jason. I shouldn't go back to him. I should be alone. But what if I never meet anyone again? What if this is my one and only chance to be with someone? To have a family, to create a story that I can reread when I'm old and stuck in one of those sheltered places where no one comes to visit apart from your hairdresser?'

The euphoria of the release rained down on Frankie as she paused for breath. But there was one thing left to say. And what the hell, she was going to say it.

‘You, Floyd Good-Fellow, are a liar and I can never trust you again. How could you do it to me? When I feel the way I do about you?'

Trembling, Frankie stomped off to find her car, unable to remember where she'd parked it, stalking up and down as she craned her neck to spy its crooked radio aerial.

Her body and mind were ablaze but the tangles had been straightened: the truth had been told. She didn't care she'd all but confessed her love – it was over, and now she could begin to think properly about Jason. No rash moves, she pledged, no sudden decisions. She had a clean slate now.

Finally, she came to her Mini and threw open the door but the handle whacked Floyd straight in the peanuts.

‘Ouch,' he cried, doubling over in agony. ‘Fuck, shit, Jesus Christ, Frankie! Now we'll never have kids.'

‘I didn't know you were there, did I?' Then she rewound what she'd heard. Kids? She turned around, her mouth wide open. He was looking up at her from the crouch position, grimacing, with his glasses at an angle.

‘I beg your pardon?' She tilted her head so the ear closest to Floyd was like a radar, ready to catch his words.

‘I've been staying at Mum and Dad's,' he said, coughing from the pain. ‘There's no one else. Well, there is…' he said, breathing hard. ‘It's you, you silly bloody sausage. I love you.'

Then he whimpered and, still cupping his privates, collapsed on the floor.

‘We've had quite a journey, haven't we, love?' Dad says, his voice echoing off the room's circular hug of stone.

‘We sure have, Dad,' Frankie says, straightening the knot of his purple silk tie, which shines in the rectangle of warm spring sunshine flooding through a little window.

His smile launches a library of wrinkles, each one telling the tale of his life. From the strain of hiding who he was and the breakdown of his marriage to Mum, to the liberation of coming out and finding love with Gareth.

Frankie brushes the lapels of his cream linen jacket, picking off a strand of grey hair from his shoulder.