The Last Sin Eater (6 page)

“I ain’t tellin’ ye to do nothing that ye haven’t set your mind to already.”

“He’s been telling me not to look for him,” I told her.

“Because he’s figuring on finding him hisself, ain’t ye, Fagan Kai?”

“I never said so.”

“Dinna have to. It’s in yer nature. Anyone tells ye not to do summat, ye’re bound and determined to do it. Ain’t that right? Especially when ye’ve taken blows over it.”

Fagan’s mouth tightened.

Miz Elda leaned back and closed her eyes. “Dinna yer pa tell ye to stay away from
me,
boy?”

He turned his head away, but I’d seen the look in his eye that confirmed everything the old woman said.

“Yer pa still holds a grudge again’ me for summat done years ago. He’s got the longest, meanest memory of anyone in the cove. Ever tell ye why he dunna want ye or any of yer kin to have nothing to do with Elda Kendric, hmmm?”

“No, ma’am.”

“No? Well, then I ain’t goin’ to tell ye neither. Maybe someday it’ll all come out by itself. Likely kill him if it does. Or someone else if’n he has anything to say about it.”

Fagan glared at her. “Don’t talk about my pa that way.”

“I can talk about Brogan Kai any way I want, boy. You’re on my porch. Ye dunna like the track of my conversing, ye con leave.”

He looked hurt and undecided. Loyalty won out. With a troubled frown, he went down the steps and headed for the woods.

“Thank ye for the squirrels, Fagan,” Miz Elda called. “Ye’ve yer mother’s good heart and yer father’s aim.”

Watching him stride away, I felt sorry for him. Glancing up at Miz Elda, I saw tears in her eyes. “Ye like him, don’t ye, Miz Elda?”

“Aye, I like him more than all the rest. Problem is he don’t know who he is yet.”

“Who is he?” I said, having no ken to her meaning.

“Time’ll tell, dearie.” She stood, leaning on her cane and watching Fagan disappear into the woods. “Time’ll tell.” She turned to me. “Ye’ve got hours of daylight yet,” she said in an odd tone. “And thar’s a heap of climbing to reach the top of Dead Man’s Mountain. If ye’re of a mind to go, ye’d better start now.”

I got up quickly, feeling free and eager to be on my way. “Yes, ma’am.” I was off her porch and down those steps faster than a cat chased by a pack of dogs.

“Cadi Forbes,” she said firmly, halting me in my tracks. “It’s the only reason ye came, ain’t it?” She stood there staring down at me, old and proud, her chin slightly tipped, her mouth disdainful, her hand white knuckled on her cane. “Ye come here just to find out about the sin eater. That was it, weren’t it? No other reason than that.”

I thought of lying and knew it was no use. She would know just like Granny always knew things about people. And of a sudden, I found myself wishing Miz Elda was blood kin and closer bound. I’d done a terrible cruel thing coming to her for my own uses and not thinking of her needs. She had been my granny’s dearest friend in the world, and I had had no thought to her grief. Now, looking up at her, she reminded me of Granny. She was getting so crippled up that she wouldn’t be able to do much of anything soon. Except die. My heart clenched tight at the thought.

Company. That’s all she craved. Someone who cared about her feelings. A friend who came to see her for her sake and not to dispense cures for a fee or find out about the sin eater. For all her pride and prickliness, she was lonely, though I was fair sure she’d rather die than say so.

Well, I knew all about loneliness and being separated from those ye love.

Meeting Miz Elda’s eyes, I saw myself and was ashamed—ashamed into my very soul. “Yes, ma’am,” I said truthfully, tears burning. “That were my reason.”

“Go on then,” she said with a jerk of her chin. “Go on about yer business.”

“Go on now,” Lilybet said softly from the base of the steps. “Go on and do what’s in your heart to do, Katrina Anice. And do it quickly, for it needs doing.”

I raced back up the steps before I lost my nerve and slipped my arms around Miz Elda’s waist. “It won’t be my reason next time.”

She gave a soft gasp of surprise, and then I felt her hand brush my hair lightly.

That slight touch made something open inside me, something that hadn’t opened in a long, long time. She was all angles and soft flesh and she smelled not unpleasantly of rabbit tobacco and whiskey. Remembering her aching bones, I eased my tight hug and backed off a little.

She tipped my chin. “Tell me what ye find,” she said and then set me back from her. “Go on with ye, chile.” Her words were filled with tenderness this time, and her faded blue eyes were filled with moisture.

I hadn’t gone more than a hundred feet into the woods when Fagan Kai caught hold of my arm and swung me around. “Hold on thar!” he said when I came at him tooth and nail. “Hold on!”

He grunted in pain when I kicked him in the shin. Letting go of me, he hopped one way while I collapsed on the ground with a yelp, holding my smarting toes tightly between two hands. “See what ye done!” I railed at him.

“You kicked
me.
Don’t blame me if ye broke your foot.”

“Sure, I kicked ye! What’d ye expect grabbing me like that, scaring me to death?”

“I had to run after ye once before. Remember? I didn’t like the prospect of doing it again!” Hunkering down, he watched me massage my toes. “Ye break any?” He was smiling, taunting.

I flexed them cautiously. Wincing, I glared at him. “No.” The stinging pain was easing off and I stood up. I walked around and around until my foot stopped paining and I knew nothing was seriously wrong.

“Good as new,” he said, grinning now.

“Yep.” Turning sharply, I punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. He let out a great
oooff
and doubled over. Grabbing his hair with both hands, I pulled with all my might. How the mighty fall! Triumphant, I leaped over him and ran for my life, screaming back at him, “Don’t ever do that again!”

I was ever doing things I later regretted, relishing the moment without thinking of the outcome. And I regretted that, for I didn’t figure on him following me so fast.

Seeing as he was Brogan Kai’s son, I guessed my life was over. I was a rabbit, and a wolf with bared fangs was chasing me. I looked for a hole to hide in, but Fagan was coming too quick for me to see much of anything but a blur of green slapping my face when a branch caught me hard above my right eye. Fagan ducked. I felt him getting a hold on the back of my dress. The seam tore in my struggling, and I managed another blow or two before he let me loose.

Trying to beat him across the meadow was a mistake. He took me down less than halfway across and knocked the wind clean out of me. I lay on my back like a banked fish, gasping for air, while he, on hands and knees beside me, did the same.

“You crazy or what?” He was red-faced, though whether from temper or running I weren’t sure. As soon as I got my breath back, I figured on tearing out of there before I found out.

I dragged in badly needed air and let out a sob, scrambling back from him.

All the heat went out of his eyes. “I didn’t mean to scare ye, Cadi. Cross my heart and hope to die.” He made the sign of the cross over his chest and held his hand up in a solemn oath. “I just wanted to talk to you is all.”

I figured he was telling the truth, for his wind was back and he wasn’t strangling me or pounding me into the ground.

Sitting back, he plucked a blade of grass and chewed on it. “Ye ought not to run like that. Ye could step on a copperhead and be bit without even knowing it. It’s a slow, mean way to go.”

His uncle had died of snakebite before I was born. Granny had told me the story. The uncle, Brogan’s brother, had been bit while hunting. He’d cut and bled himself right after it happened and made it back to the house. Gervase Odara applied plasters, but it hadn’t done any good—the poison had gone into his blood. Once that happened, there weren’t nothing to do but wait for the end.

I sat up slowly, keeping my feet under me so I could run if I had to. I didn’t say anything but kept my eyes fixed upon him to judge his mood. I figured Fagan would say what he wanted as soon as he was ready. But it better be quick or I’d lose my nerve and run for it.

He tossed the blade of grass away and looked at me with his solemn blue eyes. “Ye hadn’t oughta go looking for the sin eater, Cadi. I ain’t never seen my father afraid of nothing. But he’s afraid of
him.”

I stared at Fagan, surprised. Everyone in the valley knew that Brogan Kai was afraid of nothing. Why would he fear the sin eater? “Maybe your father was just angry at ye for speaking of the mon.”

“Sure enow, he was mad, but he was scared, too. I’m telling ye, I saw it in his eyes. For just a second, he went so white I could feel my hair stand up. The sin eater must be the devil himself, Cadi.”

“He wudna hurt me.”

“Maybe he’s hurt you already and ye dunna know it.”

“How so?”

He frowned, scratching his head in frustration. “Well, your mind is fixed on him, ain’t it? Ye looked at him once, and ye ain’t been able to get him out of your head since. That ought to tell you summat. He’s laid a curse on ye just like ye were told he’d do if ye looked.”

His words seemed sound and troubled me greatly, but they didn’t break my resolve. If anything, they made it all the more important to find the man. If Fagan was right, then what else could I do but find the sin eater and try to undo what had already been done? If the sin eater had cursed me, who else but the sin eater could undo it? I did not try to explain this to Fagan, thinking he’d see it for himself once he thought it over. Besides, it didn’t matter. I was cursed already, my sins heavy upon me.

I didn’t say that to Fagan, either. He would want to know the full reasons behind my thinking, and what I had done was too shameful a thing to talk about. The people only knew the half of it—what had happened, not what had brought it on. Even Mama and Papa and Iwan didn’t know. But God did. God knew. I didn’t want Fagan Kai to think the worst of me. Better he come to his own conclusions. Wrong as they might be, they would be a whole sight better than the whole truth.

Besides, Fagan was adding to my burdens in other ways. His father had knocked him off his porch on my account, and that smote my conscience something fierce. I wondered what trouble I had brought on Glynnis and Cullen.

Then I decided it didn’t do any good wondering and worrying. If I was going to change anything, I had to climb Dead Man’s Mountain and find the sin eater. I didn’t have time to sit around thinking on it. Sitting and thinking too long might eat away my nerve. I had to do it while my courage was still with me. I stood up and brushed myself off. “I’m sorry your pa hit ye on my account.”

“You’re still goin’, ain’t ye? Ye won’t listen to reason.”

Ignoring him, I kept walking. Jumping up, he caught up. “I’m going with ye.”

“I dinna ask ye to.”

“Where’d Miz Elda say he was?”

“Dead Man’s Mountain,” I said. He turned pale but kept on. Grabbing his shirtsleeve, I pulled him to a stop. “Your pa knocked ye off the porch just for asking about the sin eater. What do ye think he’ll do if he finds out you’re helping me look for him?”

“He won’t find out.”

“Your pa knows everything that goes on, Fagan.”

He knew that was true enough and thought heavy on it as we walked together. “He wouldn’t do nothing to you, Cadi. I’d make sure of that.”

What could he, a boy of fourteen do? But that wasn’t the worst of it. “He’d do summat to
you.”

Fagan stopped and looked at me. “I’ve got my own reasons for wanting to find the sin eater, Cadi. It’s got nothing to do with you anymore.”

He set off again in the direction of Dead Man’s Mountain.

F I V E

For the next week, Fagan and I spent our after-noons on Dead Man’s Mountain. We found no signs of the sin eater. Worse than that, we had barely covered any territory by the time the sun was sinking toward the ridge of the western mountains and we had to come back down again. It would take a lifetime to explore the meadows, forest, thickets, and rocky crags, and we still might never find him.

“We won’t give up,” Fagan said at my despairing countenance. “We’ll keep on.”

“What good’s it gonna do? He doesna want to be found.” I sat down and fought back the tears as I stared up at the great mist-shrouded peak. “There must be a thousand places for him to hide up there.”

“I guess we’ll have to figure out a way to flush him out.”

“Using your old hound?” I looked doubtfully at the rangy beast with his muzzle fur gone white. He flopped down, lay back, and went to sleep in the grass.

“No,” Fagan said flatly. “He’s too old.” He sat down and rested his forearms on his raised knees. His face was set in concentration. “A snare, maybe.”

“The sin eater ain’t as dumb as a rabbit.”

“Do tell,” he said, in no better humor than I after all our hunting and nothing to show for it. “He’s probably watching us from somewhere up there and keeping a distance between us. Only time he comes down off his mountain is to eat sin.”

“What about the vittles in the graveyard?” Lilybet said from where she sat in the midst of some ferns a few feet away.

My head came up. “What’d ye say about vittles?”

Fagan glanced at me. “I dinna say nothing.”

“Not
you.”

Lilybet got up and walked over to me. “The sin eater came down off his mountain for the food Granny left for him.”

“He did, didn’t he?”

Face pale, Fagan was looking at me funny.

Jumping up, I laughed. “Remember what Miz Elda said about Granny leaving gifts for the sin eater?We can do that. We can put gifts on Granny’s grave, and he’ll come.”

Looking around, Fagan gave me a curious stare. “Put out bait, you mean.”

“Like the rabbit you trapped for Miz Elda.”

His eyes flickered as he grasped the thought and made it his own. “He con trap rabbits for himself. And he can find his own garden sass. It has to be summat that’ll tempt him down off his mountain. Can ye steal some preserves?”

“No. Mama keeps count of the jars she puts up. I’d be found out.”

“Molasses, then, or cornmeal. They won’t miss a cup or two.”

“What con ye offer him?”

“Only thing we have plenty of is whiskey, and Pa’s the same with it as your mama with the preserves. He sells it to settlers over the mountains.”

“How’ll the sin eater know we’re doing it? It’s been weeks since Granny died.”

“Miz Elda said no one ever thought of him before your granny did, and he found the gifts she left for him. I reckon he’ll come around and find out about ours, too.”

I looked up at the mountain and wondered about him all the more. Did he creep down in the dead of night and peer in windows and walk through graveyards? Did he sleep all day while the sun was up and rise in darkness, walking by moonlight?

Three sharp whistles sounded in the distance. Fagan jumped to his feet, stuck two fingers in his mouth, and made an earsplitting whistle back. “I’ve gotta go. It’s Cleet’s signal.” Cleet was his older brother. “You’d best get home, too. Sun’s going down.” He ran off, leaving me at the foot of the mountain with only Lilybet for company.

I heard a crack. It was the same sort that echoed whenmy father was chopping wood. Startled by it, for no one was supposed to live near DeadMan’s Mountain, I stayed longer, craning my neck and tipping my head to hear it again.
Crack!
The sound echoed once more. Thinking my luck had changed and it might be the sin eater, I ran toward the west, forgetful of the dipping sun.

“Time enow tomorrow, Katrina Anice,” Lilybet said, keeping pace with me. “Ye’d best go on home, now. It’s getting late in the day.”

Closing my ears to her, I kept on.

The burbling stream drowned out the sound, and I moved away from it, pausing to listen again. One last crack sounded, and then there was silence. Through a veiling of laurel, I saw a small cabin set back against the base of Dead Man’s Mountain, a thin spire of smoke rising from the chimney. A slender woman with a long, blonde braid was carrying an armload of firewood up the steps. She disappeared inside the house, leaving the door open.

I wanted to stay longer, but the sound of crickets was growing louder as the sun was slipping behind the western mountains. I had to go.

As I made my way through the heart of the valley, I was made uneasy by the mists rolling in. They was seeping through the trees and approaching fast. If not for the moon, I’d have lost my way.

Just then, a sound like a woman’s scream split the night, making the hair stand up on my neck. I knew what made that sound. A painter, it was, and close enough to have my scent. Thinking to keep the stream between me and the beast, I splashed across, slipping twice and soaking myself from the waist down. I didn’t care how wet I got as long as I put distance and obstacles between me and that great prowling cat of the night.

When the crickets stopped chirping, I knew it had leapt across and was stalking me. Whether it was behind or before me, I didn’t know. Too afraid I might run the wrong way, I stood frozen, staring into the growing darkness.

No insect rasped.

No owl hooted.

My heart picked up speed, pounding harder and faster with each breath. I heard a twig snap behind me and my breath expelled. I burst forward, running as fast as my legs would carry me. All I could hear was the pounding of my own heart and the sobbing breath escaping my lungs.

Why hadn’t I listened to Lilybet? Why hadn’t I started for home before the sun dropped past the horizon? A thousand thoughts raced through my head as my feet pounded the grassy earth. Not even the rosy glow remained, and the sky grew darker with each minute that passed.

Lungs burning, I stumbled. Catching myself up before I fell, I lunged on. Something was coming fast, bounding behind me, catching up. I could hear it gaining ground. The thump and rustle of leaves warned me of its swift advance. Turning, I saw a dark shadow streaking toward me. I had never seen an animal move as fast as that big cat did. My thoughts froze; I couldn’t move. Its sleek body bunched and then stretched out long as it leaped.

And then it let out a fearsome scream, for something struck it. I heard the thud and saw the beast spasm in midair and fall clumsily. The beast rose again, nervous and snarling viciously. Crouching, it crept closer to me—ears flattened, fangs bared in a deep roar. There was another thud, and the beast gave a sharp cry of pain, swinging to the side to face its hidden attacker. It let out a scream of rage as it was struck a third time, then bounded off into the forest again.

Panting, heart racing, I didn’t move.

“Go on home now, Cadi Forbes,” came a low voice from the dark shadows of the forest.

I knew that voice. I had heard it once before in the graveyard the night Granny was buried.

All reason fled. With a cry, I ran. I raced as fast as my legs could carry me across the meadows. My breath came out with each step, my heart pounding in my ears. Clambering up the hill, I bumped and scraped myself. Bounding up the steps of the cabin, I burst in the door, slammed it, and threw my body back against it.

Papa was standing near the fire with Mama, the rifle tucked under his arm, barrel down. They both glanced around sharply at my entrance. Mama took one long look at me up and down, shut her eyes, and turned away. Head down, her shoulders shook. Papa slammed the rifle back into its mount and came toward me. His relief was short-lived. “You’re all wet.”

“I slipped in the creek, Papa.” It was a lie, but if I told him I was on the other side of the river, he’d use the belt on me. I was still shaking from what had happened and scared enough to lose water. I didn’t need more torment.

He was not fooled. His mouth pulled down, his eyes narrowing in anger. “Adding lies to everything else, are ye, Cadi girl?”

A cold chill washed over me at the tone of his voice.

“Go wash up, Cadi,” Mama said, her back still to me.

“And after ye do that, ye con go to the woodshed and wait for me thar.”

Shoulders slumping and still trembling, I went back outside. I took a long, slow look around before I went down those stairs. I wondered if the sin eater was still out there in the darkness and mists watching me. There was wash water in the bucket. Staring off downhill toward the woods, I splashed some on my face and arms and then washed my hands. Shivering, I went to the woodshed and closed myself in. Sitting in the darkness, I waited for Papa.

He came with his belt. I could tell the anger had gone out of him. “I take no pleasure in this, Cadi.”

“I know, Papa.”

He disciplined me without another word. I didn’t cry for his sake. “I’m sorry, Papa,” I said when he was done.

“Being sorry ain’t enow,” he said grimly. “Ye ought to know that by now.” He left me alone.

I cried. Oh how I cried and pondered my sins. Seemed every day they grew heavier and harder to bear. They seemed to master me for I could not understand myself at all. I wanted to do right, but nothing I did turned out that way. I always ended up doing the wrong I hated. And even as I was doing it, like looking for the sin eater in spite of all warnings against it, I knew perfectly well what I was doing and did it anyway. I couldn’t help myself. It seemed sin was inside me making me do wrong. No matter which way I turned, I couldn’t make myself do right.

And it was going to get worse because I wasn’t going to stop looking for the sin eater. I was going to keep on until I found the one who could help me. And I was going to steal some of Mama’s preserves to try to draw him down from his mountain hiding place.

“I want to stop doing wrong, Lilybet, but I can’t,” I said, tears running down my face. “Even when I want to do what’s right, I do what’s wrong.” I knew how Mama would feel about me taking a jar of her preserves, but I was going to take them anyway. And leather-britches beans, and molasses, and cornmeal, and whatever else it took. More wrongs to try to make things right. I was more miserable now than when I’d started the quest after the man I thought could save me.

But he had saved me, hadn’t he? From the painter, at least. Trouble was, could he save me from all the rest?

“Keep looking, Katrina Anice,” Lilybet said. “Don’t stop where you are. Keep on and you’ll find who it is you’re looking for.”

“The sin eater was there, Lilybet,” I whispered. “Right there. He must’ve been following me.”

“Yes. The man helped you, Katrina Anice.”

“He hit that devil beast three times without a miss. Hit him hard enow to change his mind about eating me. He must have a slingshot, like Fagan. That must be how he hunts.”

“He’s but a poor man.”

“I was so scared, Lilybet. I’ve been looking for him days and days, and then, when he was right there, I
ran.”
I cried harder. “I’m a fool, a pure, cussed fool!” My chance had presented itself, and I had lacked the courage to grasp it.

Someone tapped on the door. “Come on back inside, Cadi,” Iwan said.

“Papa said—”

“Papa sent me. Now come on out.”

The dishes were cleared away. My stomach tightened at the aroma of the meal they’d shared without me. Iwan’s hound was eating my portion. I felt no tinge of resentment. I’d rather lose a meal than have Papa still mad at me. I’d deserved the lashing he’d given me. Maybe if he’d beaten me more, I’d feel cleansed instead of miserable.

Papa glanced at me. “Go on to bed.” He looked so tired and worn down.

“Yes, Papa.” I’d been to bed without supper before, but Granny had always slipped me something. I knew there’d be nothing tonight, and I was resigned to waiting until morning to feed the wolf in my belly.

I slipped beneath the covers on Granny’s cot and pulled the quilts high over my head, burrowing down and curling up. Hunger pangs gripped my stomach. I’d had porridge for breakfast and then been too busy hunting for the sin eater to think much about eating. Six afternoons I’d been up on Dead Man’s Mountain with Fagan Kai and seen nothing of the sin eater. Six!

“Go on home now.”

He was there all the time, close enough to be watching us!

Oh, why had I run away? Why hadn’t I stood my ground and called out to him? He had been no more than twenty feet away, hiding in the night shadows, and I had run from him like he was death itself. I was ashamed for my cowardice. Had the man wanted harm to come to me, he would have let the painter make me his supper.

It was a warm night, and Iwan went out on the porch to sleep in the hammock. Mama went to bed after cleaning up the dishes and doing mending. Papa sat a long while, staring at nothing and then followed her. I heard them mumbling. He sounded gruff; she was softly plaintive.

“I canna help it,” Mama said.

“Ye can and you know it. How long’s it gonna go on?”

“I never want to go through it again.”

“Do ye think I do?”