The Last Rain (8 page)

At first I could do whatever I wanted in Canada. But then Mummy took me to a building and inside there was a room and inside the room there were a lot of crowded children. A very old woman came over and said
shalom Dori
. That was all the Hebrew she knew. The rest was in English.

Mummy said goodbye and left me there. The children were wild and I didn’t know them so when no one was looking I ran out of the room and out of the building and back to our house.

When Mummy saw me she put me on her lap and spanked me. I cried so hard I began to choke and Mummy had to bring me water. She said I mustn’t cross the street alone ever again. I don’t know why. I can see if there’s a car. It’s not as if Mummy can see and I can’t see. We both see the same.

If Daddy knew Mummy hit me he’d be angry. But I never told him.

First Day of School

Dori

When I wake up I need Desitin on my jinnie. Shoshana puts it on. For some reason she isn’t angry this morning. She’s being nice to me.

We make our bed and have breakfast. Breakfast is always the same—bread and jam and either oatmeal or semolina or eggs or wheat puffs and milk.

Any egg is fine with me as long as it’s not soft-boiled. I’d rather die than eat the white of a soft-boiled egg. I don’t mind scrambled or omelette or fried or hard-boiled mashed with margarine. For fried I don’t mind if the yellow is soft. I just don’t like when the white is soft. The white is a whole different story.

After breakfast an adult comes to talk to us about Passover. She tells us the story of Moses freeing the slaves. Everyone has to be equal. No one’s allowed to make another person a slave. We sing—

Sweet spring

Sweet spring

Passover

You bring

Not a very interesting song. Not a very good tune either. Then we sing—

We were slaves

And now and now and now and now

And now we’re free

That one’s better because you can shout it. Then we sing about Eliyahu the Grape.
²⁸
I guess he’s the person in charge of the grapes. And then we learn a new song in Aramaic
dezabenababitreizuzei
and we all start laughing and getting wild so the adult tells us to draw pictures of spring to decorate the Dining Hall. We draw some pictures and run outside to play.

Our First Year

21 January 1949.
The blowing up of the mosque has had its effect on us. No one views the incident with other than mixed feelings, but the army and the government were insistent and needless to say they have the last word. After innumerable considerations involving the significance of destroying this chief building and symbol of the village, most of us agree now that it had to be done. It would have been a useless gesture to preserve this symbol of a population that showed itself to be, when one views the thing factually and unsentimentally, our hardened enemies whom we have no intention of permitting to return.

The whole appearance of the village has undergone a transformation. It’s now a mass of ruins, and yet most of us agree it’s better this way. The hovels, the filth, the medieval atmosphere— it’s gone now, for the most part. Bring on the bulldozers and let’s plant trees!

Dori

I climb the monkey bars outside the Children’s House. I used to be afraid to hang with only my legs but now I can. Daddy helped me. He held my legs and when I was ready I told him to let go. It was easy in the end.

The sky is beautiful and blue. Everyone is playing tag. I like it alone on top of the monkey bars. I can see everything. I’m going to be a writer and that means I need to see things. I need to see what people are doing and figure out what they are thinking.

I see my brother David going somewhere with his friends Noam and Amnoni. They’re going in the direction of the carpentry shop. I know what they’re thinking. They’re thinking about how much fun they’re going to have.

A Good Vantage Point

Dori

Lulu runs over and climbs halfway up the monkey bars to tell me something. Her father is going on a special trip to Gush Halav after lunch and we’re allowed to come with him. Only a few children are allowed. My brother David and Noam and Amnoni are coming too. Noam is Lulu’s brother. We all have to meet at the chicken coop after lunch.

Gush Halav is an Arab village. It’s called Jish in Arabic. So far I’ve only seen it from the road.

Lunch takes a long time. The tomatoes are mushy and the cucumbers are bitter.
²⁹
I put a slice of tomato on my head. Lulu laughs and puts a slice of cucumber on her head. Someone else is giving us lunch today so we can do whatever we want.

Dessert is bread and jam. We don’t want to be late so we fold the bread and eat it on the way out. Then we run down to the chicken coop.

Baby Diary

July 10

For three days she had five feedings. But each time I got up at 4:00 to feed her. I took her outside for the first time and the next day I gave her her first bath. She responded nicely and lay comfortably and quietly in the tub.

And then I took her for a walk. Every day after the third feeding at around 5:00 she wakes up. I give her water and wait another hour for food. She has a rash on her face. I’m worried.

Dori

Well here we are in Gush Halav. Or Jish. We’re sitting on two benches in the back of a truck. The back of the truck doesn’t have a roof. It was windy riding here even though there’s no wind when you stand still.

An old Arab man comes over to our truck and gives us a honeycomb. He’s very smiley and excited. We take the honeycomb which makes the man even more smiley and excited. There isn’t much honey on it but it’s fun to suck.

Lulu’s father goes away to talk to someone. The houses in Jish look poor. The windows don’t have glass or screens so I don’t know how they keep the bugs out. There’s a pretty well on one side and a donkey tied to a tree. I like wells.

David says
they don’t even have bathrooms.
He says
they have to go in holes in the ground.

I say
I don’t believe you
.

Some children with bare feet come over to look at us. I wish I had something to give them. I feel like the ostriches who forgot to bring their presents.

Dori

We’re back from Gush Halav. I’m having a fight with my brother David. He calls me
zonah
and I call him
zoneh
and he laughs and says there’s no such thing as
zoneh
.
³⁰
I don’t care.

It’s because he wouldn’t read me the joke that came with his Bazooka bubble gum. He wouldn’t even let me look at it. He kept it all to himself and laughed at me because I was begging.

The only reason I like Bazooka bubble gum is the wrapper with the jokes. I like the pictures and the way the paper feels and smells. And the jokes of course.

I find Lulu and we sit under the stairs that go up to her parents’ Room. That’s where we sit when Lulu gets her little round box of candies on Friday.

Lulu says
my father is a calboy
. I ask
what’s a calboy
and she says
someone who looks after horses and wears a calboy hat
. I say
my father cooks for the whole kibbutz.
Lulu kisses me on my cheek and I kiss her back on her cheek and she kisses me and then I kiss her and we laugh until our stomachs hurt.

Thy Neck with Chains of Gold