Authors: C.W. Gortner
a man I‟d just met, and whom, in my entourages‟ opinion, I had not yet officially wed?
As if he sensed my misgiving, Philip said, “Come, my infanta. Let us show them
how Spain and Flanders can dance together.”
He propelled me forward. As the drumbeats gathered force, I surrendered my
inhibitions. I excelled at dancing, and the bass dance was one of my favorites, its fluid rhythm and intricate twists and bows requiring both stamina and grace. Philip too
proved an excellent dancer, and I met his every move with ease, as if we‟d danced
together a hundred times before.
He whispered, “You are breathtaking,” and my flush must have reached the roots
of my hair when he disdained the courtly glance to kiss me on the mouth, quenching
my breath. This time, it was more than pleasant. I felt his kiss down to the very
tingling soles of my feet.
About us, the court turned boisterous. All of a sudden, the Flemish courtiers
stood in a exuberant rush, sending platters crashing to the floor as they grabbed any
available woman by the hand, including several of my ladies, and hauled them to the
floor. Within seconds, a mass of cavorting bodies surrounded us. Instinctively, I
pressed closer against Philip, staring in disbelief as the Flemish whirled my horrified
Spanish ladies about.
Philip chuckled. When I followed his gaze to where one of my women was
fending off a drunken lout, I let out an unwitting, nervous laugh. I‟d never beheld
such unbridled enthusiasm before. Uncouth as they were, the Flemish certainly know
how to enjoy themselves.
Philip looked at me. His regard turned somber. “Your countrymen are not
amused,” he said, and my stomach sank when I saw the noblemen of my entourage,
who‟d come to accompany me here and bring Margaret back to Spain, stand in unison
and march from the hall. “You must go now,” Philip added. “I‟d not be the cause of
further reproach from that dragon duenna of yours.”
He guided me through the crowd to where Doña Ana stood trembling with rage.
My other women wrenched free of their uninvited partners to fence me in. My
duenna gripped my arm. “It is time you retired, Your Highness,” she said in a tone
that broached no argument. “Now.”
I stared at her livid face and moved with my phalanx of women to the hall doors.
As I walked out, I looked over my shoulder. Philip stood among his courtiers, his eyes
fixed on me.
I knew it would take more than Doña Ana to keep him at bay.
__________________________________
he moment we reached my apartments, Doña Ana turned on me. “This is
a disgrace! What would Her Majesty your mother think were she here to
T see this? She would most certainly tell you that a few vows in an
antechamber do not a marriage make!”
At the mention of my mother, I went cold. “It was Her Majesty who sent me
here. And the archduchess Margaret herself told me Besançon will hold this cathedral
wedding you insist upon.”
“
Ha!
What does that French pig in his satin know? Did he not insist you remove
your veil with no more ceremony than a pauper‟s daughter?” She wagged her finger at
me, her jowls quivering. “I suppose you think it‟s perfectly acceptable for them to
flaunt you like some trophy. You always did like to be the center of attention.”
“By the Cross!” I cried. My matrons gasped and genuflected. “Are you going to
tell me there‟s something wrong with a simple dance between a wife and her
husband?”
“He is not your husband! You were betrothed by proxy in Spain―
betrothed
―
nothing more. By the law of God― what you wish to do with him tonight is a sin.”
The matrons rustled, muttering. I said softly, “How do you know what I wish to
do?”
“I can see it in you,” she spat. “I see your wantonness. And as your matron, I
forbid you to allow him into this chamber should he dare come to your door.”
“You forbid me?” I met her hard stare. I took pleasure in her flinch, in wielding
for once my own power over her after years of submitting to her. “
Careful
, Señora,” I said. “I am no longer a child to be reprimanded by you!”
“Would you still were, for even as a child never did you dare go so far.” Her face
set like mortar. “If you let him come to you before the marriage is sanctified, I cannot
be held responsible, nor can any of your ladies. We cannot serve you under such
conditions.”
I faltered. I‟d never been without my ladies. All my life, they had been there to
help me with the private tasks other women performed on their own.
I turned to my matrons. They looked away as if I‟d been branded. “As you wish,”
I said quietly. “Those who disapprove should go.” Even as I spoke, I wondered at my
boldness. What would my mother say when she heard about this? Somehow the
thought of defying her from across the sea gave me a small thrill.
My duenna drew herself to full height. “So be it.” She stalked out, followed
immediately by the matrons. I turned to find that only Beatriz and Soraya remained in
the room.
Beatriz said, “We will not leave Your Highness on your wedding night.”
I sighed in gratitude. “Please, help me undress.”
I stood motionless as they replaced my finery with a linen bed gown that had
surfaced unexpectedly in one of the coffers. Soraya went to prepare the bed. Beatriz
draped a topaz silk over my shoulders. “I found this earlier while searching for your
red gown,” she said, and as I sat at the dressing table, she undid my braid and began
brushing out my hair.
I stared unseeing into the polished glass. I had no doubt Philip would indeed
come to me tonight and that I was about to take the final irrevocable step into
womanhood. It wasn‟t too late to change my mind. I could issue the order now, have
the door bolted and have Beatriz send word that the day‟s events had exhausted me
and I must rest.
I whispered, “Beatriz, do you think I am wed before the eyes of God?”
Beatriz paused in her brush strokes, met my gaze in the mirror. “Your Highness
has nothing to be ashamed of. You are wed. It‟s just as well Doña Ana and that gaggle
of crows aren‟t here to spoil your night. I vow they‟d douse the lust of Lucifer
himself.”
I giggled. “You are incorrigible.”
“I speak the truth as I see it. You are his wife, he is your husband, and that‟s the
end of it.” She leaned closer. “And providing you and the fair archduke do what
comes natural to married couples, you could be mother to a prince before the year is
out.”
I gasped, pinched her arm. Beatriz winked at me and turned to Soraya who had
paused with a pillow in her hands. “You! What are you doing standing there with your
ears big as a castles? Draw down those sheets. His Highness the archduke could be
here at any moment and―”
She went still. I too paused as I heard a bawdy song echoing in the corridor.
Beatriz started fussing over my hair again, running her hands over its fiery curls and I
pushed her away. “I‟m fine,” I said, but I couldn‟t look in the glass anymore, my heart
galloping in my chest as I stood.
A knock came at the door. Beatriz looked at me; I looked at her. Another knock
came, louder this time. We didn‟t move. Four more bangs.
“Blessed Virgin, open it.” I said, “Before they bring it down.”
Philip and three of his gentlemen stepped into the room, flushed from carousing,
chemises open to their navels. As one of them made a playful grab at Soraya, Beatriz
lunged. I stopped her marched up to the fool, and slapped his hand away.
“What is the meaning of this intrusion?” I said, in a tone that would have made
Doña Ana proud. They didn‟t seem to notice I was trembling under my robe.
The slim man who‟d accosted Soraya leered, “It is Flemish custom to see the
newlyweds put to bed, my pretty wench, unless you‟d like us to christen it first.”
The other roared. Had they actually forgotten whom it was they addressed? I
looked at Philip. “My lord, your ways are not yet mine. I ask you to please send these
lords away.”
Philip nodded. “Of course. My lords, off with you.”
The men moaned and tromped out. Beatriz started to move toward me when
Philip said: “You and the girl too. I would be alone with my wife.”
Beatriz curtsied, then took glowering Soraya by the arm and led her into the
antechamber.
The door shut. In the slight draft, a candle by the bed went out.
Now that we were alone, he looked enormous, a giant with hands like platters. I
was overwhelmed with longing for the chamber I‟d shared with my sisters, for the
susurration of their voices in the dark and quiet snores of our ladies on their pallet.
What was I supposed to do? What did he
expect
me to do? I searched my mind for a nugget of useful advice among the stockpile imparted to me. I flashed on my mother.
She always offered my father a goblet when he returned after an absence, and I said,
somewhat breathlessly, “Would my lord care for some wine?”
He gave a soft laugh. “I think I‟ve had enough.” His hand reached for me. “Come
here.”
I recoiled. My mouth went dry. His fingers caught at my wrist, tugging me to him.
As he bent to me, I turned my head away. “My lord, please,” I whispered. “I am
afraid.”
He paused. “You are afraid? I‟d not thought you capable of such an emotion, my
fiery princess.” As he spoke, his fingertips caressed the underside of my wrist. His
touch was light as a feather-tip and yet it felt like a thousand braziers lighting up
beside me.
He was watching me intently. He smiled. “Ah, yes. You are not afraid. You are
just unsure of yourself. But you can feel it, can‟t you, my sweet Juana? You can feel
how much I desire you.”
My heart sounded like horses galloping in my head. I drew a shallow breath,
standing perfectly still as his other hand snaked to my waist and unbuckled my robe‟s
jeweled clasp.
The robe slid from my shoulders, pliant as wings. “
Mon Dieu,
” he breathed, “you
are more beautiful than I imagined.” He lifted his eyes. “And me, my infanta? Do you
find me beautiful?”
I couldn‟t speak a word, but as if he espied the answer in my silence, his smile
broadened and he began to tug at the tangled stays of his shirt.
A surge of unexpected confidence drove me to him. I pried his fingers aside,
disentangled the knots, his breath hot on my brow as I peeled back the linen. His
chest shone in the candlelight. I tentatively set my palms on him, marveling that skin
so smooth could be so firm to the touch. He moaned. I watched his eyelids flutter
and close. As abruptly as it appeared, my confidence vanished. I stepped back,
flustered. What was I doing? He‟d think me as wanton as Doña Ana accused me of
being.
His hand caught me again. “No. Don‟t stop. I promise, I will not hurt you.”
He drew me to him, buried his hands in my hair and pulled it back from my
temples. I felt his arousal press through my leg and I wanted to look, to see what
made a man.
He brought my mouth to him. This time, his kiss was charged, demanding. I
finally did what I wanted to do from the moment I set eyes on him: my arms rose
about his shoulders and I pressed my entire length against him, feeling him tug loose
the stays on my bed gown.
Our bodies‟ innate language took over. I let my hands roam the planes of his
torso with eager inexperience, finding the hidden places that made his skin twitch and
him groan. He crushed me against him, raising the cloth of my gown up my body
until it passed over me in a crumpled mist.
I stood before him. I‟d never been naked before anyone save my women, but I
wasn‟t ashamed. I knew I had a lovely body, my breasts high and firm, my waist
slender and legs toned from years of riding. He confirmed this with his eyes, bowing
his head to tease me with his mouth. I had never imagined such an intensity of
pleasure. I threw back my head as he went lower, rousing a hunger unlike any I had
experienced.
In some distant part of my mind, a warning clamored that this was how it was
supposed to be. I should be waiting for him in bed; he should blow out the candles,
slip in beside me with his shirt still on. It was supposed to be brief, painful, then over.
It should beget a child, not rouse such heat that it felt as thought we might ignite and
consume each other.
But now nothing could quell the desires he had awoken. When he grasped me by
my waist and hoisted me up, I wrapped my legs about him with ferocity, our hips
grinding in a primal dance. He whispered, scalding my thighs as he lowered me onto
the bed.
He paused, his face in shadows. Watching. “Show me,” he said, “show me
everything.”
I let out a sudden laugh, the audible release of my joy nearly as powerful as the
euphoric sensation of lying naked under his gaze. Then I met his stare and reached to
my thighs, parting my legs slowly, with a lasciviousness I hadn‟t known I possessed.
He did not move at first. Then he undid his codpiece and untied his hose, removing
his slashed breeches. His hose slipped to his groin, slid apart, and crumpled at his feet.
I had never seen anything so magnificent.
He was fashioned of sinew and muscle, his skin pure as white stone, his broad