The Last Princess (55 page)

Gazing around herself absently, she suddenly became aware of Benjamin Kohle, sitting next to Elise. Tears were running silently down the old man’s cheeks as he sat, his massive shoulders hunched. He looked utterly defeated by this blow. Her heart suddenly ached for her father-in-law, for she of all people knew what it was like to lose a son. The feeling transcended sorrow and grief; it was such a grim reversal of the natural patterns of life.

The rabbi’s eulogy went on for a few more minutes, and then it was Drew’s turn. On an impulse, he had asked the rabbi earlier if he could speak; but when he looked out at the vast assembly before him, Drew was momentarily speechless, and not because of the crowds before him. There was so much to say. How could he begin?

Obliterated from his memory were all the harsh words that had come between them, the accusations and reproaches. Drew was already creating a memory of his father in a new, more benign image. And suddenly, the words he wanted to say came forth readily, as though sprung from a source deep within him.

“My father was a man who made a great contribution to us all. He touched millions through his writing, all over the world. But what I want everyone here to be aware of is that there was another side to Harry Kohle. He left not only a vast public, but a family to mourn him.

“As a writer, he possessed the power to evoke the deepest of human emotions: love and hate, pity and revenge, elation and despair. But within the bosom of his family, there was only love—the steadfast and abiding love he had for his wife and children.

“It is truly remarkable that even with all the demands and pressure of being a famous author, he always made his home the center of his existence. His children will remember him as a kind and affectionate man, a man of infinite compassion and understanding. I only pray that wherever he is, he knows how much we love him and miss him.

“I loved you, Father.”

As Drew took his seat again next to Lily, she wordlessly took his hand. It didn’t matter to her that Drew had gotten up and told not quite the truth about Harry; the thought that her son had reconciled himself to his father, even posthumously, was of great solace to her.

And then it was time to go to the cemetery. The bronze doors opened slowly, then all too quickly they were swung shut.

Harry and Jeremy would lie side by side in that cold crypt for the rest of time. At that thought, she turned away from the crypt and stumbled some few feet. The grief she had kept at bay suddenly engulfed her.

Who could possibly have foreseen that this was the way their lives together would end? What two young people in love ever thought ahead to the end, to old age and death and loss? That night at the opera, they had been so young and carefree….

But why couldn’t they have grown old together? How blessed Benjamin and Elise had been, despite today’s sorrow, in sharing the golden years of their lives.

If God had only decreed that it should always be so—that people who loved one another would live out their prescribed span together, and then die peacefully, in each other’s arms.

As a sob broke from her, Drew came up and took her arm, saying gently, “Mother? Come on, it’s time to go back to the house.”

There had been one the day of Jeremy’s funeral, but today there was to be no huge reception. Back at The Meadows, only Harry’s very closest friends and associates gathered along with his family. They quietly reminisced about him as they sat around the drawing room. Lily could barely stand to hear the loving eulogies and remembered anecdotes. Her head throbbed.

She went down the hall to her bathroom. Maybe an aspirin would quell the headache that had been coming on since this morning. Swallowing two, she wearily smoothed her hair, went back into the bedroom, and stopped short. Facing her—at once nervous and defiant—was Melissa.

“Mother, I have something to talk to you about,” she announced.

Unbeknownst to Lily, in the time since she had given up Cadeau, Melissa had experienced some disconcerting reversals.

For a long time she had clung to the belief that eventually Jean-Paul would marry her, but then she began to realize that as the novelty had worn off, his initial passion had waned. He no longer took her with him on the ski tour, and when he was in Paris he quite openly flirted with other women.

The first time she had caught him in a bedroom at a party with the young blonde skier had been a rude shock, but at least that time he had apologized and explained that he was a little drunk.

But just three nights ago, when she had discovered him with another woman in their very own bed, all he had said was, “This is my apartment, and my bed, and I’ll sleep with any woman I want to. If you don’t like it, you can move out.”

And so the telegram bringing word of her father’s death had offered a welcome temporary escape from her troubles. Sitting on the plane, she had found herself feeling an unexpected longing for the baby she had given up.

Suddenly she wanted something of her own, someone to love
her,
and her only. After all, she had nothing else … her father was dead, her brothers were indifferent, and Jean-Paul didn’t seem to love her anymore.

Yes, she’d decided, she wanted to see her baby. A cute, adorable child to hug and kiss might relieve the loneliness and boredom of her own life.

“I want to see my baby, Mother. And don’t look so blank. I am the one who brought her into the world, after all.”

Lily felt a stab of fear. Cadeau. She had never considered the possibility that Melissa might someday demand to see her baby. The only other time Melissa had visited, she hadn’t so much as inquired about her. Instantly Lily knew that that meeting must be prevented at all costs. It was one thing for Melissa to give up a nameless baby she had never laid eyes on, and quite another to renounce a bright, adorable, precious child like Cadeau.

What if Melissa decided to file suit to recover custody? It was Lily’s worst fear, her recurrent nightmare. After all, there were doctors in France who could testify to the true facts of Cadeau’s birth … her birth certificate was forged. Lily was on shaky ground, she knew, and she was all alone now, without Harry to help her fight back. She couldn’t go on living without Cadeau.

But Cadeau was not lost yet, Lily told herself fiercely, and if she played her cards right, she wouldn’t be.

Her mind working furiously, she calculated. Before the funeral, Ellis had taken Cadeau and Françoise to the apartment in Manhattan. They would stay there until she came for them. Even if her daughter guessed that they were at the apartment, Lily would have time to call and arrange for them to be spirited away before she could get there.

But as she considered her alternatives, Melissa coolly demanded, “Mother, where is the baby?”

Drawing on every ounce of courage she possessed, Lily answered calmly, “The baby is not here.”

“When do I get to see her?”

“What do you mean, Melissa? You said that you never wanted to see her. Not ever.”

“That was then, Mother—this is now. I’m here, and I’d like to see her. After all, she’s my child.”

“She’s not your child!” Lily suddenly blazed unexpectedly. “You may have given birth to her, but you didn’t want her and I took her. She’s my child now!”

Melissa faced her defiantly. “Oh yeah? You know, I could take you to court and prove that she’s mine. I could really fight you on this thing.”

“Why, Melissa? Why—out of love? Do you really
want
the baby? Are you suddenly feeling maternal? You want to play mother day in and day out?”

For a moment Melissa felt taken aback. “Mother” sounded downright depressing, so staid and sober. She hadn’t gone quite that far in her thinking. After all, how could she take care of a baby in Paris? When she returned, she wasn’t even sure Jean-Paul would take her back. And it was certain he wouldn’t take in the baby.

But as she stared at her mother’s pale, set face, Melissa felt a sudden surge of rebellion. Her mother was always telling her what to do, always trying to control her. Falling back on her earlier cant, she repeated defiantly, “It’s my baby. You have no right to tell me I can’t see it.”

Lily felt as though her knees were about to buckle under her. She tried to sound authoritative. “It doesn’t even make sense, Melissa. You said that Jean-Paul won’t marry you. He dislikes children. What would he say if you brought the baby back to live in your apartment?”

The painful reminder of Jean-Paul made Melissa suddenly flare up. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks!”

“But it does, Melissa! Because it has to do with the kind of life you could give this baby. Let me ask you something. If he hated the baby, how long would your newfound maternal instinct last?”

“Don’t you talk to me like that! How devoted were you when you gave us to nannies and governesses, and then shipped us off to boarding school so young?”

Lily stared at her daughter in disbelief. This was what she had sacrificed her life for? Yes, she had sent the children to boarding schools, but what about all the years before, when her life had been devoted to them completely? What about all the picnics and taffy pulls and coloring at the kitchen table? Had none of that made any impression on the children? Had she really been such a bad mother?

Looking at Melissa now, she thought how their family had really been. It pained her to have Melissa before her now, complaining and bitter. Had she truly forgotten all their good times?

Well, it was too late for the rest of them—Harry was gone, Jeremy was gone, Randy was a stranger to her, and Melissa was the most incomprehensible of all—but it was not too late for Cadeau. Lily was never going to give her up—never!

With renewed vigor, she said flatly, “Melissa, I explained all of this to you while I was in Paris. You will never be able to take this baby back. And there’s no chance in all the world I’ll give her to you. You listen to me, and listen carefully. I went through a great deal to get this baby. I lied to the world, and perpetrated a great hoax so that the baby would be legitimate. You’re not even thinking about what would happen to her if her true parentage were revealed. The truth is that you are an incredibly selfish, ruthless, self-centered person.”

“You’re a fine one to call me ruthless!” Melissa burst into tears. “Taking away my baby! Well, I’ll fight you—”

“With what?” Lily asked coldly. It was as if a different person were talking, so severe was her tone. Lily would never have believed she would speak this way to one of her children. “It takes a lot of money to file suit, particularly when it involves international issues. Where are you planning to get the money?”

“I will have money from Daddy—”

“No, you won’t,” Lily corrected her. “He left every penny to me. It’s all at my absolute discretion. And if you fight me, I’ll see to it that you get nothing, ever. A baby, and no money. Is that what you want, Melissa?”

“You have everything,” she accused her bitterly. “Everything. All the money, all this grandeur, my baby—”

Suddenly, Lily was crying and shaking. “Damn you, Melissa! Damn you! I’ve just lost your father. We’ve just come from putting him into his grave, and you tell me that I have everything! I have nothing—nothing except the baby! And just because of some foolish passing whim, you hit me with this today, of all days!”

Stunned by the violence of her mother’s words, Melissa stepped back uncertainly. Suddenly the whole thing seemed to have been blown entirely out of proportion. She didn’t really want to be tied to a baby, after all.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “Forget I said anything.”

As the door closed behind her daughter, Lily indulged in a burst of tears. The scene shouldn’t have surprised her. Melissa was a Goodhue, through and through. Violet, only with a touch of Charles’s ruthlessness. She would step on anyone to get what she wanted.

But Melissa would not have Cadeau to treat as a toy, then toss aside when she had tired of her. At that thought, Lily felt a great sense of relief. She returned to the bathroom, splashed her face with cold water, then went out to rejoin her guests.

Half an hour later, Melissa appeared at the doorway and announced, “I have a reservation for a flight back to Paris this afternoon. Can anyone take me to the airport?”

“I will,” Ellis promptly volunteered, and Lily threw him a look of gratitude.

After that, people began to drift away; by the time he came back Lily was alone with Mary.

When she heard the roar of his Bentley in the courtyard, she flew to the door and ran out to the car. Just emerging was Françoise, holding a sleeping Cadeau. “Cadeau, darling, darling!”

Sleepily, Cadeau’s eyes fluttered open. “Mommy,” she murmured happily, holding out her arms to Lily, and Lily buried her face in her baby’s hair, her heart too full for words.

A short time later, Ellis came and found Lily sitting by herself in the dark in Cadeau’s room.

“Is she asleep?” he asked quietly.

When Lily nodded, he asked, “In that case, can you leave her for just a few minutes? Drew and Randy are leaving and want to see you.”

Drew was going back to Harvard, Randy to his job at Goodhue Rubber. Each gave her a swift, comforting embrace. “We’ll be back to see you soon, Mother…. Call us…. We love you….”

As the car rolled down the hill out of sight, Lily and Ellis turned away inside, and Ellis said, “How about a drink, and something to eat? You look as though you’re at the end of your rope.”

Wearily, she shrugged. After he had filled a plate with a few things he thought might tempt her, she allowed him to lead her into the now quiet study.

He poured her a brandy and lit a fire, then came to sit across from her.

After watching her for a few moments, Ellis said quietly, “You’ve shown so much courage today, Lily. You’ve been magnificent.”

Raising her eyes to meet his, she shook her head and said slowly, “I’m not brave, Ellis. But I have Cadeau to think about. She’s lost her father now, and she can’t lose her mother too.”

Her voice quavered and he asked, “What is it, Lily? Something happened today with Melissa, didn’t it?”

“Oh, Ellis, it was dreadful. She said that she wanted Cadeau back.”