The Last of the Monsters (5 page)

But this was different. It felt different.

Henry slipped past her and Akta closed the door.

“Can I get you a glass of wine?”

“Uh, yeah, that would be good.”

Henry wandered past the kitchen into the living room, stopping at the patio door. He looked up at the night sky. Akta’s home was a beautiful adobe-style house in the Hollywood Hills, but even here the light pollution meant only a few stars were visible.

She poured them both a glass and took them into the living room. “I’ll put yours here on the table.”

Akta put the glass down and then took a seat in one of the large leather armchairs. He remained standing, back to her. He was stiff, so much so that she could see the veins and tendons in his forearms, which were revealed by the soft T-shirt he wore. The cotton clung to his shoulders, and Akta imagined she could even see the muscles in his back.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him nude plenty of times, but seeing him naked when he was on set working was something entirely different than imagining him naked while they were alone in her living room.

Finally he turned, picking up the glass. He took a mouthful but didn’t sit. Instead he paced back and forth, looking tenser by the moment.

When Akta couldn’t stand it anymore, she said, “Henry, maybe you should go. We can talk about this later.”

“No, we’re doing this now. I’ve fucked everything up, but that stops tonight.” He dropped onto the end of the couch closest to her chair. “I didn’t realize how it would sound when I said those things. I mean, I did, but I guess I was just more concerned with keeping my secret.”

Akta narrowed her eyes, trying to piece together what was going on, but it was all just a confused jumble. “Henry, please, you’ve got to start explaining. What secret?”

He took another mouthful of wine and swallowed. When he spoke this time he wasn’t looking at her, but down at the floor.

“I love humans, human things. I remember when we first discovered the movies in that human house we’d sneak into. Those are some of my favorite childhood memories, hanging out with Michael and Luke, watching movies and getting excited about all the human stuff.

“Then again, we thought
Star Wars
was some sort of documentary and that light-saber fights were what astronauts did.”

He smiled, a little quirk of a half smile, and Akta’s heart clenched.

“We grew up, Maeve gave us our spells and suddenly we were able to go to the human cities. That was wonderful. Then, when the time came that the Clan had to make a choice about what it would do, I was there with Luke, supporting and explaining our plan. I helped set up the screens and projectors we used to show movies to the older members of the Clan. To help them understand why we thought a movie would make peace between us and humans possible.”

He fell silent and Akta had to curl her hand into a fist to keep from reaching out and touching him.

“What happened? I mean, what made you think that humans and monsters shouldn’t mate?”

Henry drained his glass and then looked at her. Their gazes locked.

“Nothing. I don’t think monsters and humans shouldn’t mate. I’m delighted for Luke, Michael and Runako.”

Akta let out a breath. There was a rightness to his words that let her know that
this
was truth.

“Then why did you say that?”

“To protect myself.”

“From me?” she asked, remembering his comment in the car.

“Yes.”

“What is it that you think I would do to you?”

Rather than answer Henry rose and started pacing again. “I haven’t known many females, but they say that women know when a male wants them, that they can tell.”

Akta had no idea where this was going. “Sometimes, yes.”

“What about me?” He faced her, arms held out at his sides.

“What about you?” Akta settled back in her chair. Now that he was no longer saying that humans and monsters shouldn’t mate, she didn’t feel so angry and upset.

“Do you think I want you?”

Akta laughed. “I won’t answer that.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if I’m wrong? That would be very bad.”

“Please, just answer. It will help this make sense.”

“Okay, fine.” Akta took a sip of wine. “I thought, back when we first met, that you did, up until that night.”

“The night we kissed.”

“Yes, but then you made it clear that the kiss upset you, and I figured I’d been wrong, that you’d been looking at me because maybe you weren’t used to being so close to humans.”

“And is that still what you think?”

“It is, and it isn’t. You’ve made your feelings about human-monster relationships pretty clear, but at the same time I thought…I thought maybe you did feel something for me. That you wanted me.”

“So even though I was trying to hide my feelings from you, you knew. And what about your feelings for me?”

Akta was less willing to talk about that. He still hadn’t explained why he’d been saying these things, and until he did she wasn’t putting her heart on her sleeve.

“Why don’t you tell me why you asked about women knowing if a man is interested?”

“For most people, they are able to choose, to some degree, whether another person knows if they’re interested. You just proved that even if you’re trying to hide feelings, the other person may still detect them.”

“That’s true, but it’s true for everyone. Guys can tell if a woman’s interested, even if she’s trying to pretend she’s not.”

“If you’re interested in a man, he may know you want him or he may not. But you make the choice to tell him if you want him. Until you say something, all he can do is hope.” Henry was looking at her intently, as if this were vitally important.

“Most of the time that’s true, but it can be hard to hide when you’re interested in someone.”

“Exactly.” Henry looked relieved, but Akta still didn’t understand. “The point I’m trying to make,” he added, “is that you
can
hide your feelings, your desires.”

“It takes time to learn to do that, but yes you can.” Akta shrugged. “Then again, as you pointed out, sometimes, no matter what you do, people can tell.”

“So you do understand.”

Akta stared at him, wishing she could say yes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. Maybe you should just tell me.”

“I…can’t hide what I’m feeling. No matter how hard I try, I can’t hide it.”

“What are you—” Akta sat forward with a
thump
. “Your skin! It changes color along with your emotions.”

Henry sighed. “Yes.”

“Does that mean it changes to more colors, not just blue and black?”

“Yes. When I’m, uh…you know, wanting to…” Henry looked adorably uncomfortable. “Well, when I’m that…it changes.”

“You mean when you’re aroused.” Akta remembered the way he’d looked that night as he took off into the night sky, his skin no long blue…but red.

He covered his eyes with one hand. “Yes.”

Akta bit her lip to keep from giggling. That was his big secret? That if he got aroused he’d full-body blush? She could see how that would be hard for someone as controlled as Henry, but still it hardly seemed worth all of this.

“Is that why you were saying humans and monsters shouldn’t mate, to keep yourself from getting aroused?”

“Yes…and no. It’s a little more complicated than that.”

Akta refilled their wineglasses. “Sit down and tell me.”

“I hate that everything I think or feel shows up on my skin while I’m a monster.” He took a sip. “It’s like I have no privacy. That’s why I became an actor, so I could learn to have emotions on demand and use them to cover up my own.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right, that must have been terrible, especially growing up.”

“It was hard.” Henry licked his lips, then slowly extended his hand.

Heart beating fast, Akta placed her fingers in his. His palm was warm and wide. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles and she felt the touch throughout her whole body.

“I said I didn’t think monsters and humans should mate because I needed a reason for keeping my distance from you. It’s not that I didn’t want you.” Henry closed his eyes and bent his head, kissing her knuckles almost reverently. “It’s that I wanted you too much.”

Some logical part of her mind said that was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard, but her romantic heart just melted.

“I knew you would keep your distance if you thought I didn’t want you because you were human. I didn’t trust myself—I had to make sure you didn’t approach me.”

Akta stared at him as it all clicked into place. If all she’d gotten from him was a cute kind of uncomfortable, she would have made a move a long time ago. The main reason she’d kept her distance was because he’d made it seem as though he didn’t believe their relationship was right.

“I know it’s normal for monsters to mate, which is a forever thing, but we could have just gone out for coffee.” Akta now understood his reasons, but it seemed crazy that he’d gone through all that. “It didn’t have to be serious.”

“I wanted,
want
, that. To take you to coffee.”

“Then why did you try to stay away, and keep me away?”

He released her hand and stood again, nervous energy radiating off him. “Because I…because I cannot hide when I’m aroused, so I try not to get aroused. I never wanted to be in a situation where my needs, my desires, were so obvious, while the female could hide her feelings.”

“You could always just ask how she felt.”

“And would I always get the truth back?”

“Maybe not.”

“I don’t want to be exposed, vulnerable. It seemed easier to make sure I was never in a situation where my body could broadcast my desires.”

Akta stared at him, eyes widening. Surely he didn’t mean…

“Henry? You mean
never
, never?”

He sat back and scrubbed his hands over his face. Finally he muttered, “There’s something about me no one knows.”

Akta held very still. Henry stood, arms at his side, as if he were facing a firing squad.

“I’m a virgin.”

Henry felt sick. He’d never told anyone what he’d just told Akta.

There were very few female monsters, so it wasn’t unusual for a male not to have been with one, but there were other beings they could seek pleasure with and from. Most of those creatures were only myths—or nightmares—as far as humans were concerned.

The succubi, the kitsune, the silent women—they were all known to show up near the Clan’s home, and when they did the young males wasted no time pairing off with them. There was one thing these female creatures usually had in common, and it was the thing that had kept Henry away—they were aggressive, dark lovers.

He couldn’t have tried to seduce a succubus only to have his skin turn red when he was aroused or black if something she did was alarming. It was a weakness, a lack of control that would have been mocked and taken advantage of. He’d thought about trying to seduce a human woman once or twice, but by that point he’d been so paranoid about exposing himself emotionally that he’d always backed off.

“The others don’t know,” he told Akta. He hoped that this would remain a secret, but after a year of knowing these human women he’d discovered that once one of them knew something it would be only a matter of minutes before the others were told.

“Luke and Michael don’t know?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Henry just looked at her. He wasn’t going to explain that.

“Okay, fair enough,” she said. “And I can see why you didn’t want to be with someone, physically, if you weren’t sure you could hide how you felt about them.”

“Exactly.”

“But…” Akta rested her head on her hand as she looked at him, “…but, Henry, if we made love, wouldn’t you be human? Your human skin doesn’t change color.”

Made love.

The words distracted him, made him wonder if that was just a turn of phrase from Akta or if she imagined having sex with him to be something more, something like making love. Henry wasn’t the most romantic of males, but the idea of “making love” tempted him.

“Henry?”

“What?”

“I was just saying that if we made love while you were human, your skin wouldn’t change color—your privacy would be protected.”

“True, and that’s why I started kissing you back that night. I was kissing you until…”

Akta stiffened and her eyes went wide. “Until I said something about you having never done this before.”

He nodded.

“Oh, Henry, I’m so sorry. I’m a total jerk.”

“You’re not.”

“I am!”

“No.” Akta was many things—gorgeous, pretty, smart and fun, but a jerk wasn’t one of them. “But it made me realize that you’d know, you’d be able to tell that I was a virgin. I didn’t want…I didn’t want to seem…”

“You didn’t want to be the pathetic virgin.”

“Er…exactly.”