The Last, Long Night (#5 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) (21 page)

Carrie nodded, tears stinging her eyes. “Last night, after Father brought home the letter Robert sent from the Shenandoah Valley, was the first night I haven’t had horrible dreams.”  Then she shook her head fiercely.  “Not another word about the war,” she proclaimed.

She winked at Georgia and then smiled at Janie.  “You are not to come downstairs until the ceremony is about to start.  I will come get you. Until then, you are to do nothing but pamper yourself.”

“I have time to go check on my patients,” Janie protested weakly, her eyes revealing her longing for a day to herself without reminders of the war.

“I told you she would say something that dumb!” Georgia sputtered.

“Good thing I know her so well,” Carrie replied calmly and then turned to Janie.  “Dr. Wild and Hobbs are taking care of your patients this morning.  You’ll see them soon enough.  May will be up shortly with your breakfast and enough hot water for a bath.” 

Then she reached into her closet.  “And you will wear this.”  Smiling broadly, Carrie reached in and pulled out a dress she and her father had purchased the week before.  She had been appalled at the price, but nothing would stop her from giving Janie a wedding day to remember.

Janie gasped and clapped her hand to her mouth.  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered, her hand stroking the pale yellow gown softly. 

“There are no wedding gowns to be found in Richmond,” Carrie apologized, “but I thought this came close.  You will be beautiful!”

Janie sprang forward and wrapped her in a hug.  “Thank you so much.”  Tears spilled down Janie’s cheeks.  “I can’t believe I’m getting married without my family, but having all of you here is just as wonderful.  They will get to meet Clifford when the war is over,” she said firmly.

“Yes, they will,” Carrie agreed.  “I’m still trying to decide, however, whether I will forgive Clifford for taking away my roommate.”  Her grin said she was just fine with it. 

“What about me?” Georgia protested.

Carrie smiled; thrilled the three of them had become so close.  “You?  You’re going to leave of your own accord and go back to fighting,” she teased.  “Even after having two such wonderful women for roommates, you’re actually going to return to posing as a man.”  She rolled her eyes at Janie and then laughed.

An instant later she grew serious; concern for Georgia outweighed the laughter.  “I’m just so tired of having people I love shot at!”  Then she slapped her hand over her mouth.  “I’m sorry… I said no talk about the war.”

Janie just smiled.  “I’m not so naïve as to think I’ll get through this day without war talk,” she said calmly.  “Grant is pounding away at Petersburg.  Sherman is camped on the doorstep of Atlanta, and who knows what is going on in the Shenandoah Valley.  I’ll just be content to get to the end of this day and be married.  That’s all it will take for me to be deliriously happy!”

Georgia reached down to pull something from under her pillow.  “I reckon I have a wedding gift for you,” she said shyly.

Carrie grinned, knowing what was coming.  “You’ve been so excited about your wedding that you’ve missed a few things,” she teased.

Janie cocked her head and eyed the book Georgia was holding.  “Like what?” she demanded.  “Is that a book I’ve wanted to read?”

“Like you’re going to have time to read for a while,” Carrie snorted.

Georgia laughed and then opened the book.  “This here was written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.”  She cleared her throat and began to read.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Not a sound was made when Georgia finished reading; her words hung in the air and then swirled with the breeze, dancing joyfully through the room.  “I reckon you love Clifford that way,” Georgia finished.

Janie struggled for words while tears streamed down her cheeks and a smile as bright as the sun illuminated her face.  “You’re reading,” she finally managed to say.  “And reading beautifully!” she cried as her voice returned all the way.  Jumping up, she embraced Georgia in an affectionate hug.  “Thank you so much.  What a wonderful wedding present!”

Janie took the book and read the passage again. “Elizabeth Barrett Browning is one of my favorite poets, and I’ve always dreamed of having a husband I could feel this way about.  I finally do,” she whispered, her face glowing.  She glanced up at Georgia. “I’m so proud of you.”

Georgia flushed bright red, but nothing could dim the glow of pride on her face.  “Once you get the hang of it, reading is right easy.”  She said modestly, but then shook her head with frustration.  “It’s the talking thing I’ll have to work on some more.  If I could just read everything I say I wouldn’t have to worry about whether I sound right.”

“Oh, Georgia, you’ve come so far,” Carrie replied.  “I told you in the beginning that it wouldn’t take you long to learn because you’re so smart.  Anyone intelligent enough to fool the army for as long as you have can do anything.  You just remember that.”

May entered the room with a breakfast tray.  “You two girls get out of dis here room,” she scolded.  “Your breakfast gettin’ cold down on the table and Miss Janie needin’ pamperin’ time.”

Georgia turned to leave, but then turned back around, “You know how to read, May?”

May stared at her in astonishment.  “Where I gonna learn how to do a thing like dat?” she demanded.

“I’ve been learning,” Georgia said eagerly.  “I reckon it will be a few more weeks before I get cleared to go back to fighting.  I could teach you how,” she offered.

May’s eyes lit up, but then she shook her head.  “Can’t be doin’ nothin’ like dat,” she muttered, not meeting Carrie’s eyes.

“Of course, you can,” Carrie said firmly.  “It’s just a matter of time before you’re free, May.  Those stupid laws about slaves not reading are just that – stupid!  You need to know how to read to live in this new world.”

Then she turned to Georgia.  “It would be wonderful for you to teach May everything you’re learning.  She’ll have plenty of time in between household chores.”

May just stared at Carrie with something approaching awe.  “Thank ya, Miss Carrie.  I reckon readin’ be a mighty fine thing.”  She paused and then smiled slightly.  “I suppose it be okay for me to teach Miles what I learn?”

Carrie laughed and nodded.  “That would be perfect!”  She was no longer concerned about her father objecting, and she knew both May and Miles would not let it get in the way of their work. 

She grabbed Georgia’s hand and pulled her toward the door.  “Let’s go while Janie’s food is still hot, and while there is still any food on the table for us!”

Laughing, they made their way to the dining room.

Pastor Anthony arrived shortly after the noon meal.  “Is Janie still determined to get married in the hospital ward?”

Carrie nodded, alarmed at the pasty pallor of his skin and the dullness in his eyes.  She pulled him forward to sit down in a chair and then sent May to bring a cold drink and some cornbread.  “Are you okay, Pastor Anthony?” she asked, leaning down to put a practiced hand on his forehead.

              “I’m just fine,” he insisted, his voice no longer strong and robust. 

              Carrie’s thoughts flew to the concern Jeremy had expressed a couple months before.  The few times she had made it to the hospital, Pastor Anthony hadn’t been there.  She opened her mouth to ask more questions, but he waved them away.

“She’s still determined to get married in the hospital?”

Carrie nodded.  “She wants her patients to be a part of it.  So does Clifford.  He’s going to be released today, but all his fellow soldiers have watched the romance between him and Janie.  He doesn’t want to cheat them out of the actual wedding.”

Pastor Anthony nodded.  “Those patients need all the good moments they can get, and they need to see that sometimes love wins.”  Then he seemed to think back.  “Haven’t you already taken part in one hospital wedding?”

“Yes.  My childhood friend, Louisa Blackwell, married Perry Appleton.”  Carrie smiled as she remembered.  “We almost lost Perry, but he pulled through.  I’m convinced Louisa’s care for him played a big part in it.”

“They moved down around Atlanta?”

“Yes,” Carrie said with a frown.  “I’m worried about them.”

“You should be.  Sherman’s men have Atlanta under siege.”

Heaviness seemed to blow in the window.  Carrie shook her head firmly.  “There is nothing I can do about that right now.  What I
can
do is make sure Janie has a wonderful day.  That’s what I intend to do.” 

“Still determined to hold on to the good things,” Pastor Anthony said lightly.

Carrie stared into his eyes and was disturbed by the dullness she saw there; she silently berated herself that she hadn’t taken Jeremy’s concern more seriously.  Pastor Anthony was not well; something was sapping his spirit.

“More determined than ever,” she replied.  “I’m learning it’s my choice how I live my life, but it’s also my choice how I see my life.  I’m doing everything I can to choose to live each day looking for all the joy I can.  Sometimes I have to look pretty hard, but I always find something to be grateful for.”

Pastor Anthony stared at her, a brief spark igniting in his eyes.  “Choice,” he murmured.  “Yes, I suppose all of life is about choice.” 

              Carrie moved to the door as Spencer pulled the carriage up to the house, and then she went up to get Janie.  Carrie found the bride-to-be whirling in front of the mirror, her arms spread wide with a glorious smile on her face.  Now was certainly not the time to share her concerns about Pastor Anthony.

Carrie clapped her hands as she moved into the room.  “You look absolutely beautiful!”  She took Janie’s hands in her own and gazed at her lovingly.  “You’re radiant.  Clifford Saunders is a very lucky man.”

Janie grinned.  “I’m the lucky one.  I still can’t believe he loves me.”

Carrie snorted.  “Every man in your ward is in love with you.  Clifford just got lucky.”  She pulled Janie toward the door.  “Your magic carriage awaits you, Miss Winthrop.  When you return in it, you will have another name.”

“And another room,” Janie said demurely, her eyes sparkling with excitement.  “I’m so glad one of the boarders left.  It was kind of your father to give us the room.”

“Kind?  He knows I would have never forgiven him if you had to leave this house,” she said with a laugh.  “He was simply being wise!”  She sobered and then pushed aside the thought of Janie’s eventual departure at the end of the war.  Today was a day for joy.  It was a day for
choosing
….

Laughing, the two friends went down the stairs.  Carrie gave a cry of delight when her father stepped in the front door.  “You’re home!  I thought you wouldn’t be able to make it!”

Thomas smiled and pulled Janie into a hug.  “I told the State Department they would have to do without me because my beautiful, second daughter is getting married and I need to give her away.”

Janie brushed at the tears in her eyes.  “Thank you,” she whispered.  “It means so much…”

Thomas tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, and led her out to the carriage.  Carrie, a broad smile wreathing her face, followed with Pastor Anthony.