The Last American Martyr (21 page)

“Whoooa, hold on, I never said I was,” I came back as I dropped my hand. “And what does it matter? I’m a friend of Julie’s.”

“You’re more than that. I know exactly who you are. You’re that Soles character.” His eyes narrowed even more now, like two spiteful slits, and his jaw muscles undulated as he ground his molars.

Already, I’d had about as much of this nasty-spirited harassment as I was going to take.

“You know something; I don’t like being called a character. And yes, I am Thomas Soles, but I haven’t broken any laws. I don’t have time for this, and I don’t like your attitude. Now, why don’t you get to the point? What exactly do you want?”

“I’ll tell you what I want. Me and some other people ‘round here want you out of these parts. You don’t like the way this country’s being run, you don’t like the job people are doing, the job I’m doing. I want you out of here.”

I wasn’t ready for this and didn’t need to hear it. After actually relaxing at Julie’s for so long, not having a single confrontation with anyone, I was no longer used to this kind of treatment. And I wasn’t going to put up with it.

“And what happens if I don’t want to leave…my
friend
?”

“Oh, you’ll leave one way or another.”

“Are you threatening me?” I said, as hot-adrenaline rushed through my arms, and my hands tightened at my sides. I did not care anymore. After all I’d been through for six tortuous months, nothing mattered at this moment. As if I’d returned to the streets of my youth, with that newspaper still stuffed in my shoes and mayonnaise sandwiches in my belly, I said, “Because, if you
are
threatening me, maybe we can settle it right here and now.”

He took a step closer, so close that the brim of his hat almost touched my forehead. Solace was going absolutely insane at the window behind me. Garrity now dropped his hands to his sides as if at the ready. Jutting his jaw at me he said, “You threatening a law officer?”

“You’re not on the clock are you? You have a problem, maybe we can work it out. I’m not going to just stand here and take your shit.”

Then there was a loud shriek. “HEY STOP! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OVER THERE!” It was Julie. She was running across the grass towards us.

“Just remember Soles, I want you out of here. I’ll give you two days.”

I just glared at him.

“Remember,” he said, “two days.”

Then, just as Julie came up to us, he took a step back and slowly turned around.

“What’s going on here,” she demanded, as she got right up in his face, looking at him with so much fire in her eyes it could have scorched him.

With a calm tone and a forced smile he said, “It’s okay, Julie, I was just introducing myself to your cousin here.”

She glanced at me, got nothing out of my eyes, then glared back at him.

“I think you better leave, Sean. I’m not real happy right now. It isn’t a good time for a visit.”

“Sure, no problem, if that’s the way you feel about it. It’s just about time to start my patrol anyway.”

Then he looked back at me and said, “Don’t forget now, be sure to get another license plate for the front of your RV. I’d hate to see you get ticketed for that. You could run into another law officer who isn’t quite as friendly as me.”

Then something dawned on me. I thought,
How does he know I have a New York Plate on the back bumper? I’m backed right up to the river. Ohhh…that-son-of-a-bitch! Unless he’d seen me driving to the truck stop to empty sewage one of those times, he’s been surveilling me from the far bank—spying on me. That’s it! I know that’s what he’s been doing.
 

“Yeah, you bet. I’ll order another plate right away.” I said as he skirted the front of his car.

Julie and I watched as Garrity drove away. When he was out of sight, she said, “What happened, Tom? What was all that about?”

I could see the disappointment in her face and hear it in her voice. She sounded like a little girl who’d been having a terrific time at her birthday party, only to have it ruined. Although I’d been cautious all along, and she’d picked up on it, I know she’d been enjoying my company and wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize it.

“I’m sorry this had to happen, Julie. I knew eventually something like this would happen. Look…it’s getting chilly out here, why don’t we go inside.”

We climbed into the camper, and Solace stopped barking as if on cue. As soon as Julie sat on the sofa, she was all over her, licking her face and doing the high-speed pendulum thing with her tail. Julie was a sport about it, and she even managed to smile. But it didn’t last. After a moment or two, I told Solace to get down.

Sitting opposite Julie in a swivel rocker by now, speaking with my eyes, as well as my lips, I said, “We both knew this day would come, didn’t we? We didn’t know who or what would upset everything, but we knew something would.”

“Dammit, Tom, what in the hell happened out there?”

“Oh, what’s the sense of going into it? The bottom line is your friend knows who I am. He told me you said I was your cousin, but obviously he’s run my license plates at the sheriff’s department. Look … I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with him, that’s none of my business, but he, and what he calls
other
people, don’t want me around here.”

“I don’t have what I’d call a relationship with him, Tom. I dated him twice, when I first moved here. That was it. Once or twice a week, before he goes to work, he stops over to make sure I’m okay back here. Sometimes he has a quick cup of coffee.”

“It seems to me he’s looking for more than coffee.”

“I realize that. It’s obvious. I’ve given him enough hints that I’m not interested. All this time I never wanted to be rude. I considered him a friend, but that’s over now. Next time I see him I’m going to let him know he’s not, in no uncertain terms.”

Holding up my palm, rotating my head slowly, I said, “No, Julie, don’t do that. The last thing I want is to be responsible for you losing a friend. Had I never come here, nothing would have changed for you.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t care what you say. I’m going to tell him and tell him good.”

“Look Julie,” I said, leaning forward in the chair, my elbows on my knees, “I told you … one thing like this happens, and I’m gone.”

“I don’t care what happened, Tom. I want you to stay. Do you understand what I’m telling you here?” She had that ruined-party look again, but this time there were tears forming in the corners of her straining dark eyes. I got up and sat next to her on the sofa.

“Julie, don’t. Please!”

It cut at me to see her like this. I put my arm around her shoulder, felt it trembling.

“Don’t. Come on. It’s not the end of the world. We can keep in…”

“Can’t you see,” she interrupted, the tears now coursing her cheeks, “I love you, Tom! I don’t want you to leave here.” Then she threw her arms around my neck and buried her face in it.

I embraced her also, with both arms, and when I did, she began to cry—her hurt and disappointment burst from her eyes. With each profuse sob, her warm body quaked against mine. Every shudder was another reminder of just how precious she was. Just how lucky I was to have someone so special care about me so much. Forget the human contact aspect that I hadn’t felt for so many months and so desperately needed, this woman in my arms meant far more than that. Though it was the first time I’d felt her body tight against mine, it felt ever so natural, as if we’d done it a thousand times before. I knew we were both exactly where we belonged. We now shared the same soul—very much like I had with my Elaina for so many years. But there were differences. This time there were obstructions. This time there were hurdles. And I knew I couldn’t make it over them, not yet.

Julie slowly lifted her head from the crook of my neck. We were almost nose to nose now. Her cheeks were moist and her eyes slightly puffed. But the sadness in her face, edged by her long flowing hair, so black and so sleek, somehow made her more beautiful than ever. Looking into my eyes, no, beyond them, hoping to see the same feelings she had in her heart, she said, “I’m sorry, Tom. Don’t get mad at me. But I can’t hold this back, even if I should.” She then leaned closer and gently laid her lips on mine.

Slowly, as if asking for permission, she offered her tongue. I accepted. Our mouths parted, and that most intense ancient ritual two people can share began. The meeting of our tongues was tentative at first, welcoming exploring, massaging, but the undeniable pull of desire soon aroused desperate, hot yearnings through both our minds and bodies. Soon our breathing became labored and rapid. It seemed the camper was quickly becoming a vacuum, with less and less oxygen remaining. Fragmented visions of Elaina kept snapping in and out of my mind—like mild, short-lived electrical shocks. With each jolt, I asked myself, six months, is that long enough?

Then I felt Julie’s hand work its way between our chests. She began unbuttoning her blouse. I eased my lips from hers. Her hand froze and she opened her eyes. We looked at each other for a long moment. Trying to see beyond the passion and lust in my eyes, I said, “I’m still going to have to leave, Julie. I might be gone forever, I might not. I can’t tell you for sure. Are you sure you want this?”

“Take me, Tom. I want you. I know I love you. I know
how mu
c
h
I love you. After tonight is over, if all I’ll have left is hope, I’ll settle for that. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”

Then she did it. She slid her hand down between us, between my legs, found what she was looking for and held me. “Take me, Tom. Take me now.”

And I did. We went into the bedroom. I closed the door behind us. It was pretty dark by now, and I was glad. Whether I could have seen it or not from where I stood I don’t know, but I refused to look in the direction of the nightstand. I could not look at Elaina’s burgundy cap. I thought about whisking it onto the floor, but I didn’t. Instead I made love to Julie Dubois. I fell in love with Julie Dubois. And just before we consummated that most profound expression of human love, amidst all its sensuality and fervor, I took one short moment to look at the woman beneath me and say, “I love you, Julie.”

Chapter 20

After my jog early the next morning, while working on my second cup of coffee with the laptop on my knees, I posted the camper for sale on Craigslist. Knowing I’d be leaving Montana for Maine the next day, I wanted to make one quick effort to sell it. The odds weren’t very good, but it was a Sunday, and most people would be off from work. I figured maybe something could happen. The idea of driving the Winnebago across two thirds of the country was unsettling to say the least. Plus, I knew I wouldn’t need it once I reached my destination. The plan was to buy that small, isolated place somewhere in northern Maine. I knew from experience the few scattered villages in those North Woods were not only secluded and sparsely populated, but beautiful as well. There were some fine places where Solace and I had at least a chance of being left alone.

With Julie being off the next two days, we planned to spend as much time together as possible. Sunday morning Solace and I had breakfast at the cabin. In the afternoon, we went back over to relax out on the deck. We’d only been sitting on the wooden bench maybe ten, fifteen minutes when my cell phone chimed.

The caller was a man from Missoula. He wanted to come over with his family to take a look at the camper. I was hopeful he would, but as I spoke into the phone, it became quite obvious Julie wasn’t at all happy. The glow on her face faded as she listened intently. Though we had talked the whole thing through after breakfast, she knew this very well could be another step closer to my leaving. Hearing my conversation made my imminent departure seem all the more a reality, and that much closer. As fine a spring day as it was, that phone call took all the joy out of the Montana Spring sunshine. Our moods deflated, as if we suddenly had to rush to a funeral neither of us wanted to attend. It felt like a slow procession as the three of us made our way across the grassy field to wait by the camper.

It wasn’t an hour later that a rusted-out Dodge Caravan preceded a trail of rising dust as it entered the clearing. Before it turned right and headed our way, we could see there were several children in the back. Either the muffler was shot or there was a bad leak in the exhaust system because it sounded as bad as the rest of the van looked. As it slowed to a stop, we saw through the windshield a young man in the driver’s seat and a woman about the same age alongside him. She was thin and visibly drawn, as was the man, beneath a red ball cap.

After he killed the engine it sputtered, choked, and wretched like a three-pack-a-day smoker, and Solace started doing what she does best. Always the good trooper, Julie volunteered to walk her until she calmed down. As she coaxed Solace with the leash, the man turned to the children in the back of the van and said something. Then only the parents climbed out. They were worn alright, but their clothes looked reasonably clean and their long hair was combed. Nevertheless, I thought for sure this showing was going to be all for naught. W
here
, I wondered,
are these people ever going to come up with fourteen-thousand?

“Lo there,” the man said, extending his hand. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, but his boney hand was hard and his palms and fingers calloused—like they’d been working for two lifetimes. The jeans they both wore looked like they’d been around a long time, too, but as I said, they were clean. His accent came right out of the Deep South when he went on, “I’m Jerrod Lockerby, and this here’s muh wife, Jennie.”

Tom, Tom Soles,” I said, nodding a greeting to him then his wife. “So…you folks are looking for an RV?” I said.

“Yeah, me Jennie ‘n our three kids have been livin’ outta’ the van for most of ten months now, down in Luzianna. That’s where we’re from. I’ve been workin’ two jobs and a savin’ all that time so’s we could move up here to Mon-tana. We managed to put together enough to get up here and try to get settled. Jus’ got here yesterday.”