The Land of Rabbits (Long Shot Love Duet #1) (29 page)

“Fuck that.”

“Oh, and Roxanne. What’s with her? I only had five minutes alone with you today to try to discuss how I was feeling before she threatened us to get back to work with that stupid hose in her hand.”

“We belong to her when we’re here. I told you that.”

“Well, she’s furious I got to stay, and as usual, she’s taking her frustrations out on you. You heard her. She sat by the pool while we worked, complaining non-stop about you ‘boning’ me in
her
retreat. I’m glad you ignored the bitch, but I could tell she was making you restless. Me too.”

I continue down the corridor, being pursued and having my shirt tugged along the way.

“And the last hour was the worst. I started sweating and was queasy from anxiety, wondering if
anything
was gonna work out. I get it. I get that I’m no longer floating. I’m not floating, Quinn!” I scream and toss my arms in the air like I’ve lost my shit. “For the past year I’ve been able to glide. I haven’t been swimming or climbing out of the water, just drifting along... now there’s a weight tied around my ankle. Sooner or later I’m gonna end up like the woman in the Hudson. Go ahead, everyone in this world, drag me further into an endless hole in the darkness of the water!” I say to the ceiling. “I’m defeated. Absolutely one hundred percent defeated.”

I rush into the two-story lobby, eyeing the open front door. It should be a sign of freedom, but today it only leads to an uncertain end—a gateway to self-doubt and love lost. What are my choices? I can hide in a room in the middle of nowhere with a guy like Jack Jameson within striking distance. Beg Brian and Nadine to offer protection and lie for me. Or say fuck everything and go to the cops. These aren’t choices. There’s more out there for me. But right now, what I know for sure is I can’t be here after what I saw. I just can’t.

Quinn grabs my arm, his worried expression too much to bear. God, I wish this was easier.

“Aw, another troubled relationship.” Roxanne smiles, leaning over the desk to listen. “Did I work you too hard today, sweetheart? Did you break a nail? Should I call your chauffer to pick you up?”

“Piss off, Roxanne,” Quinn sneers, pulling me to the side for privacy. “You’re not walking the roads alone. And where are ya gonna go? Back to your family?”

“That fucker killed Trent! This is crazy! All of it. I can’t do this!” I cover my mouth, feeling heartbroken to walk away from him, noticing Roxanne’s face turn white when she hears about Trent. She turns to Jack, who’s sitting in the back office. Her hand lands on her hip as she speaks in a snappy voice.

“You took out
my
Tyler? He was my favorite! I’m calling your dad.”

Jack gripes, “You liked that dope?” He walks out of the office. “I don’t need a retreat full of smack-talking bastards, and this business is mine, not my dad’s.”

“Smack-talking bastards, like you?” She lights a cigarette, leaning over the counter to continue watching us, sticking her ass in his face.

I murmur that I’m sorry and walk to the door, making it two feet outside before he appears in front of me.

“I’m coming with you.”

“No. You’re much safer here than on the streets, and I can’t handle... I can’t handle being here
or
at the river. I can’t do it. I thought I was tough, but I wasn’t prepared for seeing all that blood and hearing Trent... his... God, you sensed the panic coming from him! He knew he was gonna die. That was horrifying! I don’t know what the hell to do! Again, I just don’t know! Again, and again!” I shout with a foot stomp. “For fuck’s sake, and your brother? I can’t believe how quickly he turned on his friend. You heard Jack talking to him out back today. He’s gonna show him where Tivoli Park is and help him dump Trent there for a grand. A grand is all it takes for him to toss his best friend away and move on? He’s not even fazed by it!” I take a quick breath so I don’t pass out, speaking in an agonizing frenzy. “I tried not to let it bother me. I tried to get it out of my head... it’s just not gonna happen. I should’ve left this morning.”

“You’re not walking alone, not when it’s getting dark. Just give me a second to get my stuff.”

“Stay here!” I race down the steps, hearing Jack laugh from the doorway.

“Hey, where you headed? I’ll drive,” he says. “My car won’t reek of death for another day or two.”

“You’re nuts!”

“Addie.” Quinn grips my shoulder, the corners of his mouth downturned, indicating distress. “Just tell me what you’re doing.”

“I’m... I’ll play it by ear.”

“You can’t walk away without a plan.”

“Fine... then... I’m gonna call Nadine to pick me up on the road. That’s best, I think. If she and Brian won’t let me stay without going to the cops then... then... I’ll head to Jersey or somewhere. My friends will let me crash without asking any questions.”

“Fuck, no. Would you listen to me? You can’t walk the road back to Albany alone!”

“I said I’m calling Nadine. She’ll come for me!”

“Stop freaking out!”

“Don’t yell at me!”

“I thought we were together!”

“This is big fun.” Jack grins.

“Shut up!” we say together.

I keep walking, Quinn by my side and Jack close behind.

“Quit following me, both of you.”

“No, you’re not doing this. You must be in shock or something.”

“Shock? Ya think?” I give him a sarcastic look, my emotions changing to sadness when I see his tense face, like someone hit him in the gut and he’s holding in the pain. I have to end this before the magnet in his heart draws me back in and I can’t go through with it.

“Maybe I am stronger than I thought. Maybe that’s why I’m leaving, because I came to my senses. I’m attracted to you... but—”

“But? Did you say, but? I don’t want to hear the word ‘but’ when you’re talking about your feelings for me.” He puts his hands in his pockets, looking to the sky with a long exhale. “But?” He frowns. “I can’t believe you just said that... and you’re leaving. It’s that easy for you to walk away. No wonder you never said you loved me. This is fucking bullshit.” He kicks the dirt, sending a cloud of dust flying down the driveway. “You know what? Just go if you want. Why am I acting like a pussy? I don’t even know why I became so attached to you in the first place.”

“Pussy, my friend. It’s all about pussy,” Jack declares.

“Don’t do this,” I whisper. “You need to stay to protect yourself, and I can’t... I just can’t be around someone like Jack. You’re used to guys like him, I’m not.”

“Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass,” Jack says. “And if you decide to go to the cops, Quinn’s head will be on your doorstep first thing in the morning.”

I give him the finger and turn, marching down the drive.

“Tell me. Tell me before you go,” Quinn calls out. “With all truth, is this what you
really
want? You wanna go back home? Without me?”

“I don’t know...” I stop and look down at my feet.

I stare at the bandages poking out of the backs of my sneakers, huffing a dynamic sigh while nudging the dirt—my lip twisting and head down—feeling guilty.

“I don’t want to be involved in any of this.” I look back, needing to see his face one last time. “I want you, not all this other shit, but I know that’s not possible.”

“Addie—”

“Why was it like this? Why couldn’t it have been two people who met in college, fell in love, and got an apartment together? Why is life never simple like that?”

His hand appears, hovering between us, waiting to connect with mine. I stare at it for a good minute, his flicking index finger keeping me hypnotized, inviting me to either come closer, or get my ass outta here.

He’s better at this than me.

“Bye, Quinn.”

I start to walk, gripping the strap over my shoulder while feeling the heat from the setting sun on the back of my neck. My ponytail swings and a smile slowly grows on my face... that was fucking brilliant. I think it worked.

Jack had one thing right... we’re the perfect pair.

Love you, Quinn.

Chapter Fifteen

LIGHT TRAVELS in a straight line... life, on the other hand, not so much.

I have a feeling Jack Jameson is like light, never deviating from his path, headed in the same direction for years, blazing forward and illuminating—in his own destructive way—what’s truly important to the rest of us.

I’m nothing like him.

I’m far better.

I’m more intelligent, more cunning, and pay closer attention to detail. He didn’t even notice he left my cell on the table at breakfast... sloppy for a guy who seems to pride himself on being an astute businessman and a predator. That mistake gave me a chance to sneak it back, then slip it to Quinn with notes explaining my feelings and plans. An hour later, after he had time to check the cell, I was given a nod in total agreement. No argument, no need for a discussion.

Smack.

“Fucking mosquitos.” I slap my ankle, squashing the little nuisance.

The glow of the moon is unreliable, blanketed by heavy clouds, making it too dark to see the swarming beasts. But I can certainly hear them and feel them feasting on my blood. It’s an open bar for my exposed legs and drinks are on the house.

Car.

Headlights approach from the direction of the retreat. I pray it’s not Jack as I hide behind a tree. That would be the fourth time he’s been up and down this road. The first three times he tried to give me a lift, but I refused, insisting my aunt was on her way. After walking for what felt like two hours, I slipped into the woods and have been backtracking, staying twenty feet in from the road, hiding whenever a car appears...

It’s not him.

Good, back on track.

I should be able to find the driveway to Afterglow soon. It can’t be much further. Quinn still has my cell so I can’t check the time, but it feels like ten or eleven. I bet I’ve been out here for close to four hours. Any minute now, every step is a step closer to him.

Smack.

“Fucker.”

I drop my bag, taking a break to rest my throbbing feet and to slide into a pair of jeans. Fuck, even after three days, my clothes are still damp from the rainstorm and the river. Unbelievable. I hate to put them on in this muggy weather. It’s unbearably hot. The sun set hours ago and it still feels like ninety degrees outside. But I guess I’ll deal. Being sweaty is better than being infected with West Nile virus.

“Oh, gross. What the hell is that?”

I jerk my foot as a slimy slug-like creature creeps between my toes.

Yuck. Just flat out yuck.

It fell, whatever it was. It’s gone.

Okay. Chill. The dark woods can be beautiful... I’m not afraid... I have to keep telling myself that. Even with Jack so close, I’ll be fine. I’m clever. I’m sneaky. Keep thinking that. Focus on the surroundings. Look around. Don’t lose sight of the road. Don’t get lost in the woods. Pack the shorts in the bag. Hurry up and get into the jeans. Do it. Hustle.

Damn it!

The little creatures out here suck. The trees and the sounds of the crickets chirping are awesome, even the snapping of sticks under my feet are soothing like a crackling fire, but if one more bug touches me, one more... I’m gonna scream!

Fuck. Car.

With my jeans halfway on, I waddle behind a tree, stepping on another squishy thing. I hope that was moss... it was either that or animal scat. Nasty. Don’t think about it. Stay positive. This will all be worth it once I’m back in his arms.

“Addie.”

A soft voice and a gentle breeze float over my shoulder.

“Jesus Christ!” My heart sprints and my eyes bug out. I hate that spooky shit. Hate it, hate it. That was my mom’s voice... my mind’s playing tricks on me. Or my ears are. No, my head... head and ears are playing tricks. That wasn’t real. No way.

Goose bumps.

I look around to make sure it was my imagination, remembering all the times I’ve heard a voice like that... it happens when I’m half asleep... one word spoken by a familiar voice. I wonder if anyone else experiences that? A voice clear as the bright blue sky says one word, and I wake-up for a split second, then doze off... yeah, it was like that, except I’m not in that hypnagogic state. I’m wide-awake.

Damn, that was freaky.

The car’s gone, my jeans are zipped, sneakers on, and I’m dying for a drink. A beer or a shot of anything, I don’t care what it is, just some liquor to calm my nerves.

No more voices. Please, no more words whispered in these woods.

I continue forward, wanting to hum, wanting to call for Quinn, anxious about
everything
.

Our first argument and breakup was a sham—a superb performance for Jack and Roxanne. And Quinn was terrific, I never expected him to be such a good actor. He even made himself sound selfish in the end, caring only about his own needs instead of my wish to leave. That was great. I love a man who trusts that I know what I’m doing.

I love a man. Period.

For the first time ever, that euphoric sensation has a hold on me. I’m mad for him. So in love that I get a giddy rush whenever he’s near, and my entire body aches when he’s gone. And I’m making impulsive decisions. That’s what love does... it makes you fucking crazy. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. Never, ever could I have imagined being out in these woods for any other guy. I’m here for him, for us, and now that I can admit what I’m feeling, it’s time to say it. I’m sure he knows, but those three passionate, binding words... I’m ready to tell him.

And Jack’s not gonna put me in a position where I have to fuck another man or be a part of his whole ménage à trois idea in order to stay at the retreat with Quinn. And he’s not going to force us back to the streets, either. I have other plans. And if it were actually possible to stay with a friend in Jersey, with Quinn, we’d already be there, though I doubt any of them could take both of us in for long... so here I am. Here we are. Jack’s no longer in control, and neither is Roxanne. At least not in this moment.

Sniff...

Meat. A fire. I’m close. I think I see the driveway...

Stay focused. Stay sharp. You’ve got this. Keep off the drive, far from the drive, far, far away from the retreat. No more sounds. Try not to breathe or trip or break any more branches.