The Laird's Forbidden Lady (30 page)

‘He’s the kind of man you should have married. That young puppy who just left here. Another drawing-room dandy.’

‘He is a well-bred young gentleman, to be sure.’

‘What happened to Dunstan? I thought you wanted him.’

‘No.’ Was he accusing her of something?

He spun away and paced the carpet in front of her. ‘When your friend wrote to me last
week saying how unhappy you were and how you ought to be free as soon as possible because there was a gentleman …’ he paused to glower at her ‘… another gentleman, with an interest, I thought I’d come here and take the high road, offer you your freedom if that’s what you wanted. But the closer I got, the less noble I wanted to be.’

‘Alice wrote to you?’ A feeling of betrayal rippled through her. ‘I suppose she meant for the best.’ Only right now she wanted to strangle her friend.

He stopped pacing and looked at her. ‘I thought so, too.’

Her heart no longer seemed to be beating at all. It still hurt, but didn’t seem to be working. ‘You did?’

‘So I will ask you again,’ he said harshly. ‘Shall I set the wheels in motion for our divorce?’

Should he? ‘And Dunross?’

He took a deep breath. ‘It goes back to you.’

She stared at him. ‘It was the only reason you married me.’

He gave her a long look. ‘It was not.’

‘This is part of the settlement, isn’t it? The arrangements you made with my father.’

He shook his head. ‘Your father made Dunross over to me, free and clear. But I’m no that kind of cur, Selina. Yes, I wanted Dunross. Gilvrys
have always wanted Dunross, but I never expected to get it. I wanted you, too, but I never expected to get you either. I do not deserve a woman as fine as you. And I’ll not be robbing you of your dowry.’

It was a pretty long speech, but something in the middle of it was pretty important. ‘What do you mean, you always wanted me?’

He let go a long sigh. ‘I believe I fell in love with you when I was eighteen, though I never would admit it, given the history between our families. It was my own stupid pride that made me turn from you when my brothers came along that day at Balnaen. I was ashamed for not doing my duty and hating you the way they did.’ He gave a short laugh. ‘I have never done my duty where you are concerned. You muddle every proper thought in my head.’

She knew just what he meant. He only had to look at her to muddle her brain. ‘Did you say you loved me?’

Red stained his cheekbones above the disreputable beard. He took a deep breath. ‘Aye. I. Love. You.’

No mistaking that. Something like joy bubbled in her chest. And hope. ‘Why did you never speak of this before?’

He stilled, looking at her, and in that startlingly blue gaze she saw his hope. Only it was stronger than hope. It was longing.

Mingled with dread. ‘Would ye have believed me? Would it not have seemed a mite too convenient? And besides, you told me you loved Dunstan.’

Not exactly. ‘I told you I had chosen him.’ She had a bit of confessing to do on her own account. ‘I picked him because I knew my heart wasn’t engaged. I knew he couldn’t hurt me the way you had.’

He blinked. ‘When I saw you again at Carrick’s ball, I wanted to hate you. Because of Drew.’

‘You blamed me.’

‘I blamed myself for wanting to please you. I vowed I would not let you twist me around your finger again.’ He gave a short laugh. ‘So you tied my heart in knots instead.’ He inhaled a breath so deep she thought the seams of his jacket might split asunder. A ragged-sounding breath. ‘Well. Is it to be a divorce?’

She shook her head.

‘If you are to stay as my wife, then you will have to live as my wife. I’ll not have it any other way. And I’ll do all in my power to prove my love. I promise you that.’ His voice ended on a low seductive note.

Heat raced under her skin as the thought of the benefits of being his wife came to mind in full force. But she wasn’t quite done torturing him yet. After all, he had offered to divorce her
and let her stay here for almost two weeks when all the time he’d known he loved her. ‘And where would we live?’

His face twisted in a grimace. ‘Wherever you prefer.’

Oh, the delicious sound of his
r
s as they vibrated all through her body and down to her toes. But did he mean what he said? ‘In London, then?’

His expression became stoic. It reminded her of the time she had dressed the bullet wound in his arm. He was determined not to let her see how the thought irked him. ‘If that is what you want.’

‘Whatever I want?’

He nodded, albeit a little stiffly. He sat beside her and took her hand lacing and unlacing their fingers. ‘I missed you.’

She almost didn’t hear the words, he said them so softly.

‘I couldn’t sleep,’ he said louder. ‘Couldn’t force a mouthful of food down my throat. All I could do was work and try not to think. Try not to wonder if things would have been different, if I had found the courage to tell you the truth of how I felt.’

‘Oh,’ she said, her heart lifting a little more than was seemly. ‘And you did find the courage.’

‘Aye. I did. For there was no denying it, no matter how hard I tried.’ He brought her hand
up to his lips and kissed it with a gentle kind of reverence that was so out of character for this big rough man, except around her. Her insides quivered with longing.

‘I missed you,’ he said. ‘I missed your smiles and I missed your laughter. I even missed your frowns. My chest ached like a great rock was pressing down on it.’

His symptoms sounded much like hers.

‘Oh, Ian. I did not mean to hurt you.’

‘It was not your doing.’ He stood up. ‘Where you are concerned I have no strength at all.’ He dropped to one knee. ‘Selina,
leannan
, please, come back to me. I know I treated you badly. I did indeed trick you into marriage, but it was for your sake as much as mine. I swear to you I did not know about the dowry. You have to believe me.’

As he gazed into her face, she knew he did not lie. ‘I believe you.’

‘Then you’ll come back to me?’ He took another of those deep shuddering breaths and gazed into her eyes with longing and hope and a vulnerability that caused her poor heart to contract in the sweetest way. ‘I love you, Lady Selina, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy. This I swear.’

The lump in her throat turned into hot prickles behind her eyes. She tried to breathe and the tears welled over.

A fierce grimace twisted his lips. ‘Now I’ve made you cry. I’m sorry.’

He made to get up, but she flung herself at his chest, clinging fast to his neck. ‘You are a fool, Ian Gilvry,’ she sobbed into his cravat. ‘An idiot. I love you, too. I always have. I was afraid to tell you, in case I lost you. And it seemed that I had.’

Tentatively, his big hands came around her back, circling and patting. ‘Aye, it would seem I truly am an idiot,’ he said softly.

She pulled herself together with a small laugh, but he didn’t let her go. Oh, no, the brute lifted her arm and sat down with her on his lap.

He gave a sigh of contentment. ‘This is where you belong.’

She sat with her head on his chest while he dried her tears with his handkerchief. He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘You always loved me?’ he mumbled.

Feeling terribly shy, she smiled up at him. ‘It was why I could never bring myself up to the mark. Every time I got close to accepting a proposal, I remembered our kiss, that little touch of your lips to mine and the thrill I felt. No other man ever made me feel that way, so I always backed out.’

‘Until Dunstan.’ His voice was harsh.

‘Poor Dunstan. He was my forlorn hope. I had to marry someone. I could no longer live with Father and Chrissie. It was too painful to
watch their love grow and know I would never have the same.’

‘You will and you do. More.’ He stroked her arm.

‘I know that now.’

‘I kept hoping you might be with child. My child,’ he added quickly. ‘I would have had you back, then.’

‘I suppose we will have to try again.’ She gave him a soft smile.

He captured her mouth in a kiss. ‘I can’t wait to get started,’ he said when they finally came up for air.

‘So you will take me to London?’

He nodded grimly. ‘If it is what you want.’

‘And who will look after Dunross and the people there?’

‘Niall and Logan.’ He sounded quite worried, but determined. ‘Though I must tell you, after the fire, the people have been asking after you. It seems they miss their lady.’

She stared at him astonished. ‘And your mother?’

‘Not quite so much. I dinna understand it. She’s not a vindictive woman. I am sure she will come around.’

Her mind drifted on dreams of the future. ‘Ian, do you think we could have a proper wedding? In a church?’

‘In St George’s, Hanover Square, I suppose.’
Again the stoic face and she had to force herself not to laugh.

Then she imagined the ceremony and the pomp and the
ton
all coming to gawk. ‘No. I’d like it in the village church in Dunross. With those of your family who will come. And the McKinlys. And the rest of the clan, too, as long as they won’t throw stones.’

‘They wouldn’t dare.’ He looked deep into her eyes. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. I’ve been talking to Hawkhurst about that law—you know, the volume of stills in Scotland. He thinks it is very unfair. He knows all about the smuggling and didn’t express a bit of concern.’ She frowned. ‘Not about the brandy, but about moving whisky from Scotland to England. He said he couldn’t see any other way of dealing with such a stupid law. He likes whisky.’

Ian gave her a quizzical look. ‘If I’m not mistaken, Hawkhurst also thinks it’s all right to be a pirate.’

She grinned. ‘Privateer. And he’s given it up. I’d be happy for you to give up smuggling, too, but not until Dunross’s people are secure.’

He looked at her intently. ‘Are you telling me you want to come back with me to Dunross? We still don’t know who was behind Tearny, or whether they will strike again. I am not entirely sure I can keep you safe.’

She took a deep breath. ‘I love you, Ian. Dunross
is where you belong and it is where I belong as your wife. But only if you don’t shut me out. My father shut me out of his life when my mother died. And again when he married Chrissie, though Chrissie tried to prevent it. You kept me at a distance too, and I won’t be locked out of your life. Whatever we do, we do together.’

He gave a soft groan and kissed her mouth, long and slow and lingering. It felt like a promise. And when he was done, he set her back on the sofa and once more went down on one knee. ‘Lady Selina, to thee I plight my troth for ever and always and from this day forth will share with you all that I am, if you will do the same.’

She cupped his beloved rough-bearded face in her palms and pressed a kiss to his lips. ‘I will, Ian,’ she whispered.

‘You know you have made me the happiest man alive,
leannan.
’

She took a shaky breath. ‘I’d like to invite Alice and Hawkhurst to the ceremony.’

He nodded.

‘And my father.’

‘Invite the world, love. I want them all to see my beautiful wife and what a lucky man I am.’ He leaped to his feet. ‘And now to get you home where you belong.’

Belong. It sounded like such a sweet word to her ears. And he was right. She did belong there, with him.

‘You came on Beau?’ she asked.

‘Aye.’

‘Well, since it is too far to ride on your saddle bow, I think we need to ask Hawkhurst for the loan of his carriage. And since it is too late to set out today, I think perhaps you should stay the night. We can set out in the morning.’ She cast him a wicked look.

His blue eyes danced with amusement. ‘Only if you have room for me in your bed.’

‘What, before we are married, sir?’

She laughed as his face fell comically and rose up onto her toes and put her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lovely sensual mouth. ‘I have missed you so much, my dearest Ian. I waited for you for years and years, even though I didn’t realise that is what I was doing, and I am not going to wait another moment.’

He picked her up. ‘Thank God for that. Now, which way to the bedroom?’

She let out a squeak of surprise, as he carried her out of the room to the staircase, but she did not hear the door down the corridor open or the whispers and laughter from the library.

She was too busy looking at the love shining in her husband’s eyes and trying to kiss his lips, while he took the stairs two at a time.

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All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

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