The Lady's Maid (17 page)

‘You’ve insulted me. I could have you horsewhipped for that.’

‘It weren’t no insult, and you know it. You kissed me back, Josie, and you can’t deny it. You wanted me as much as I wanted you.’

‘If you don’t stop, I shall jump out.’

‘And break your neck in the process. We’re nearly there, so sit tight.’

Her heart was hammering so hard against her ribs that she was sure he must be able to hear it. The blood was pounding in her ears and she could still feel the heat of his mouth on hers; the taste of him and the scent of him filled her senses until she felt her head would explode. She moved as far away from him as she could without falling off the seat and clenched her hands in her lap, staring straight ahead until he drew the horse to a halt. Before she had a chance to alight, Sam had leapt from the seat and he was at her side holding up his arms. She would have refused his help but for her sprained ankle, which still ached miserably, and reluctantly she allowed him to lift her down from the chaise. The clouds had parted and a shaft of moonlight turned the gravel carriage sweep from grey to silver. Sam held her for a long moment, looking deeply into her eyes with an unfathomable gaze that sent a frisson of excitement travelling down her spine. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her again, and worse still, she wanted his embrace with a ferocity that both thrilled and frightened her. But at that moment, the doors were flung open and a footman hurried down the stone steps towards them. In the gold spillage of light from the entrance hall, she saw the silhouette of her mother standing in the doorway.

‘Josie, my darling.’ Lady Damerell opened her arms. ‘My dear girl, you’re home. Your father and I have
been
out of our minds with worry about you. Mason, you may carry Miss Josie into the house.’

Josie could walk very well by now, but she allowed the footman to pick her up as it was easier than arguing. Even so she could not resist the temptation to take a last look at Sam. He was standing by the trap staring after her and their eyes met and locked in a fierce tussle of wills. It must stop here, she thought, choking back tears. We must pretend that none of it has happened. But it had, and she knew her feelings for Sam Loveday had undergone a sea change. He had awakened passions and emotions that she had not known she possessed, and he was right, they were two sides of the same coin. She knew she must fight this terrible obsession that had the power to destroy them both.

‘Hurry up, Mason,’ Lady Damerell cried, fluttering about them like a white moth in her long floating dinner gown. ‘Take Miss Josie to the drawing room.’

‘Yes, my lady.’

Mason bounded up the steps two at a time, even though Josie knew she was no lightweight. He carried her to the drawing room where they found Sir Hector seated by a roaring log fire with a blanket wrapped around his knees. He looked up and his face crumpled, halfway between tears and laughter. ‘Josie, my dear girl.’ He held out his arms.

‘Set me down,’ Josie commanded. ‘You may leave us, Mason.’

He bowed and left the room.

She limped to her father’s side, taking off her bonnet and tossing it onto one of the brocade sofas. She threw
herself
down on her knees beside him. ‘Papa, I’m so sorry I caused you so much distress.’

He dropped a kiss on top of her dark head. ‘You’re home now and that’s all that matters, my dear.’

She took his hand and raised it to her cheek. She was shocked to see how pale and drawn he looked. It might only be a week since she had seen him but his physical condition seemed to have deteriorated enormously in that short space of time. ‘How are you, Papa? Are you in pain?’

He squeezed her fingers. ‘The gunshot wounds are healing, I believe, but I cannot feel anything below the waist. I suppose I should be thankful for small mercies.’

‘Oh, Papa, it is so unfair. And I caused you so much worry, too. I am a bad daughter.’

‘You are my little Josephine, and you are the best daughter a man could have. Now, don’t look so tragic. I want to hear about your stay in Puddlecombe with the Reverend John Hardy. I knew his father well. Sir Esmond was a fine man, and it was a tragedy that he lost his only daughter to consumption. But how did you find his son? I haven’t seen him for years.’

Lady Damerell swept into the room. ‘You mustn’t tire yourself, Hector. And there will be plenty of time for questions later, when Josie has had time to settle in.’ She glanced at her daughter’s travel-stained clothes with a pained expression on her face. ‘You’d better go and change for dinner, Josie. I’ll ring for Hickson to help you dress.’

Chapter Ten

THE NEXT FEW
weeks were difficult for Josie. She had been shocked to see the deterioration in her father’s condition, and, despite his brave words, his health did not seem to be improving. Dr Smith was noncommittal, insisting that it would take time for Sir Hector to adjust to his disability. Some of the wounds had become infected, but that was only to be expected, and they would eventually heal. Lady Damerell hovered in between states of wild optimism and deep depression, during which Josie was unable to comfort her. She missed Kate, and her time at the vicarage seemed almost like a holiday compared to the dullness of the daily routine at home. She tried to spend as much time as she could with her father, reading to him, or playing chess or backgammon, but he tired easily, and in spite of her eagerness to please him, Josie found herself growing more and more restive.

She went out riding every day, but she avoided the home farm. She longed to see Kate, but she did not feel equal to facing Sam. Her feelings and emotions were in total turmoil whenever his darkly handsome face trespassed on her thoughts, which was almost every waking moment. He invaded her dreams, causing her to awaken in the early hours of the
morning
, sick with longing for an impossible love that rendered going back to sleep impossible. She would get up then and pace her room, coming to a halt at the window and staring at the sweep of lawn that led down to the lake.

In her mind’s eye she could see them as children, chasing each other, laughing and rolling down the grassy slope to the water’s edge. They had been a happy trio, during those long hot summers spent in the country, but inevitably it had come to an end after the incident in the lake. Sam had carried her back to the house and been caught by Hickson as he tried to get her back to her room unnoticed. He had been banned from the house and beaten soundly. In the ensuing years she had tried to ignore her deepening feelings for Sam, concentrating on her ambition to marry money, but when he kissed her she had known that her life would never be the same again. She struggled daily with her desire to see him just once more; to feel his arms around her and his lips caressing hers. She knew it was never to be, but that did not take away the longing or her desperate need for her wild boy.

After being kept indoors by the November rain and gales, she could stand it no longer and one morning she donned her riding habit and boots, having sent to the stables to have her horse saddled. She had volunteered to go into Dorchester to collect her father’s medicine from the chemist’s shop, despite her mother’s protests that a servant ought to go in her stead. It was market day, and Josie knew that she ran the risk of bumping
into
Sam, but she was past caring. In fact she was desperate to see him, if only to prove to herself that she was strong enough to resist temptation. Prompted by her mother she had written to Harry, explaining that her father would enjoy a visit from him and inviting him to call when he was next in the vicinity. She kept telling herself that Sam was attractive simply because he was forbidden fruit. Nothing could ever come of what was a purely physical attraction.

With a list of small items that her mother required from town, Josie was about to leave the house when Hickson came hurrying towards her.

‘You should not go alone into town, Miss Josie. It isn’t proper. If you’ll wait until I get my cloak and bonnet, I’ll come with you.’

‘Thank you, Hickson, but there’s no need. I am perfectly capable of performing a few errands on my own.’

‘Young ladies should not go out unaccompanied, Miss Josie. You know that.’

‘Come now, Hickson. What could possibly befall me on the road to Dorchester, or in the town itself where everybody knows me?’

‘That’s just it, they all know you, and they expect Miss Damerell of Damerell Manor to be more circumspect in her behaviour.’

‘My behaviour is my business, Hickson.’

‘I saw you,’ Hickson said in a low voice. ‘I saw you and him on the evening when you arrived home from Puddlecombe. It won’t do, it just won’t do, and you know it.’

Josie tossed her head. ‘I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Don’t act the innocent with me. I’ve known you all your life and you can’t fool me with your innocent face.’

‘You’re talking in riddles, Hickson. I’m going into town.’

‘Bad blood will out,’ Hickson muttered.

‘What did you say?’

Hickson blinked and shook her head. ‘It was nothing, Miss Josephine.’ She stalked off in the direction of the servants’ quarters.

Josie shrugged her shoulders. Hickson was just being difficult and deliberately mysterious to goad her. She checked her appearance in one of the wall mirrors before setting off. It would be a coincidence if she happened to come across Sam in the market place.

In the town, she accomplished her shopping, filling a small basket with the bottles of medicine for her father and skeins of embroidery silk and a packet of needles for her mother. It was a bleak sunless day and bitterly cold. She walked briskly back to the market place where she had left her horse tethered to a post, and she arrived just as the squire drove up in a smart new gig with Kate sitting at his side. Kate’s face lit up with a delighted smile when she saw her and she leapt down from the vehicle, barely giving it time to stop. She threw her arms around Josie in an affectionate hug. ‘Josie, how are you? Why haven’t you been to see us?’

‘I’ve had a million things to do, but I see that you’re encouraging your admirer.’

Kate pulled a face. ‘Hush, he’ll hear you.’ She slipped her hand through Josie’s arm. ‘Thank goodness you’re here. It gives me a good excuse to escape from Squire Westwood.’ She pulled a face as he strolled over to join them. ‘Oh, dear. Too late.’

‘Good morning, Miss Damerell.’ Edmund Westwood doffed his hat with a courtly bow. ‘How is your father getting along? I’d like to call and see him, if he’s well enough to receive visitors.’

‘He’s as well as can be expected, but I’m sure he would be most pleased to see you, Mr Westwood.’

‘Then I’ll be certain to visit him very soon.’ He hesitated, looking from one to the other. ‘I expect you young ladies have a great deal to chat about. But I hope you will allow me to drive you home when you’ve finished your business in town, Miss Coggins. It looks like rain.’

‘Thank you, but I don’t want to put you to any trouble. I can quite easily find my own way home.’

‘I wouldn’t hear of it, my dear.’ He glanced up at the lowering sky. ‘I’ll wait for you in the Antelope Hotel. Take your time, I’m in no hurry.’

‘He definitely has his eye on you, Kate,’ Josie said, chuckling as he strode off towards the town centre. ‘Do you fancy being the second Mrs Westwood?’

‘Don’t say such things. He’s just being kind. Or at least I hope that’s all it is. I wouldn’t marry an old man like Squire Westwood if he was the last person left on earth. But I must talk to you, Josie.’

‘What’s wrong? Is someone ill?’ Josie immediately thought of Sam and she held her breath.

‘No, nothing like that.’ Kate quickened her pace.

‘Well, what is it? Are you going to tell me or not?’

‘It’s my father. He’s going to marry Miss Stamp next week.’

‘He doesn’t believe in long engagements then.’ Josie suppressed a chuckle with difficulty. Poor Kate, she must have known that this was inevitable.

‘It’s not funny, Josie. Pa told me that he wanted female companionship and someone to look after him in his dotage. He spoke as if I were about to desert him, and I would never do that.’

‘But you will get married one day, and then you’ll have a husband and children of your own. You can see his point.’

‘That’s just what Squire Westwood said, and he’s repeated his offer of a position at the Grange. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I can’t stand the thought of living in the same house as that woman.’

Josie was at a loss as to how to comfort her. She dragged Kate to a halt outside a milliner’s shop. ‘Just look at that adorable bonnet. Now that would suit you to perfection, Kate. Why don’t we go inside and you can try it on?’

‘I can’t afford to buy a new bonnet, and even if I could, it wouldn’t solve anything. And don’t offer to purchase it for me, Josie. I still have the one you bought me in Soho, and I only wear that on Sundays. I know you mean well, but it’s not the answer.’

‘If you wore that you would outshine the bride on her wedding day,’ Josie said hopefully. ‘And the squire would fall on his knees begging you to accept all his worldly goods.’

Kate shot her a reproachful glance. ‘You are the biggest tease in the county.’

‘And you, my dear friend, are taking all this much too seriously. So what if your father marries the ghastly Miss Stamp? From the little I’ve seen of that person I doubt if she will interfere in the running of the house or the farm. She will probably lie in bed all day reading penny dreadfuls and eating chocolate. She is already as fat as a pig in farrow.’

‘And she’ll expect me to wait on her.’

‘You’ve a maidservant to do that, haven’t you? I’m sure that young Molly will be happy to oblige a new mistress, or you could promote Sam from farm labourer to butler. Now there’s a thought.’

‘Molly isn’t a servant.’ Kate turned to her, frowning. ‘Have you and Sam fallen out? Is that why you haven’t been near the farm for so long?’

‘What a ridiculous notion.’ In an attempt to steer the conversation to safer ground, Josie opened the door and stepped into the shop. ‘Come along, Kate. That lovely bonnet is calling out to me. I must try it on even though I know that it would look much better on you.’