The Lady Astronomer (5 page)

“It’s just that you, you, you don’t
quite look yourself. I mean, you never ever wear white. And an apron! The
shame! And what on earth is that on your head?”

“Oh, Al. You didn’t expect the house
to pack itself, did you? Mind you, that would have been handy. I don’t suppose
you have any inventions that could help out there? No? I thought not.”

“But you look like a Maharajah!”

“I quite like it actually.” She
patted her improvised turban, worn rakishly at what she thought a jaunty angle
and pulled over her left eye to keep her monoscope dust free.

“Hmm. Well, you’ve distracted Leibniz
long enough for me to get this back, thank you.” Al held the knitting
needles and fine mesh blanket above his head.

Leibniz made a lunge for it, but Lucretia
picked him up and held him close, whereupon he scowled blackly and sulked
mightily.

“Gosh, that’s clever. I think we have
found a new craftsperson in the family. What’s the blanket for Al?”

“It’s meant to be my new glove, but it
kind of kept growing.”

“I’m sure Orion could snip it into a
more manageable size for you.”

“Lucretia!” The second
disembodied voice of the evening ghosted down the hallway s them. “Where
are you?”

“In here. Just discussing the perils
of using lemurs for knitting.”

“Pardon? Oh, never mind.” Freddie
joined them, deciding not to get entangled in what was obviously a strange
situation. Though there would be nothing unusual about that in this particular
household. Indeed, what he had to impart now was pretty odd. He scratched his
head.

“Lucretia, you need to come and have a
look at this. You have received a, well a communication. Of sorts.”

“Oh, marvellous! I do have the best
collection of quill-friends.”

“This one is particularly quill-like
alright.”

“Excuse me?”

“Never mind, just come and see.”
He set off at a good pace back down the hallway.

“Where are we going?”

“To the kitchen, dear.”

“Kitchen?”

“Yes, now do keep up. I felt that your
messenger needed a drink.”

“You’ve completely lost me. What are
you on about?”

He stopped abruptly and she bumped into
him. He held the door open, and there on the scarred wooden kitchen table sat a
bird with gloriously jewel coloured plumage. It snaked a long black tongue out
and lapped at the dish of water delicately.

“A parrot? I have never seen one in
the feather. Mr. B sent me drawings back from his trip with Captain C.”
Lucretia shook her head in wonder and then approached the table.

“Careful! Little bugger bit me.”

“Freddie! Language!” She held out
her open palm to the parrot, which abandoned its water and jumped nimbly onto
her hand.

“Well, I never,” breathed
Freddie.

Lucretia gave him a delighted smile.

“Oh, you’re a lovely little fellow,
aren’t you,” she cooed. “Or girl,” she amended hastily. “But
why are you here? Do you have something for me?”

“A letter from Mr. B, a letter from
Mr. B,” said the parrot.

“Marvellous!” Freddie clapped his
hands.

“You are such a child, Fred. Now let’s
hear what else my new friend has to say. And for goodness sake, shut that door
as Orion will eat this little avian envoy given half the chance.”

“A letter from Mr. B, a letter from
Mr. B,” repeated the parrot.

“Was there anything else you had to
remember?”

“A letter from Mr. B, a letter from
Mr. B!”

“Very well, where is it then?”

The parrot held out its leg. Tied to it
much in the style of a carrier pigeon was a tightly rolled scroll.

Parrot still in hand, Lucretia unrolled the
paper and sat down to read it aloud.

An Island That Has Yet To Be Named

Dearest Lucretia,

Salutations from a beautiful island in the
middle of the ocean. Devilishly hot, welcoming natives. We have discarded our
footwear, waistcoats, and jackets. I know, I know, most unseemly, but when on
an island in the middle of the ocean and all that. Captain C remains aboard the
ship with many of the men, but a few and I have come to stay with said natives
to observe their customs, take drawings of their plants, foodstuffs, jewellery,
and so on.

If you are reading this, my friend the
parrot has made it to you. We think he is a boy, but have declined to name him
in case of upsetting his sensibilities. Once he has recovered, he is to come to
London to reside with me in my new rooms.

Yes! I have done it, dearest L! My new
Society for Adventurers of All Persuasions has been given the Royal Seal and so
on my return I shall be making the streets of our capital my home for the
foreseeable.

It is wondrously beautiful here, such
flowers and trees and animals and birds that you have never seen in dreary
Blighty. We bathe in streams that can only be reached by taking a long hike,
and you must beware for snakes and other stinging creatures. Wondrous indeed.

Anyway, must dash really. Old Biffy seems
have gotten into a bit of bother, and it is looking rather like he is destined
for the cooking pot rather than eating of it.

Your friend, as always, and with best
regards to Freddie and Al.

Mr. B.

*

“Well, that’s good news,”
declared Freddie as they sat outside under the stars later that night. “Apart
from Old Biffy possibly being eaten of course.”

“Quite,” agreed Lucretia. “I
would have thought the Captain would know by now which islands to stay away
from. He has, after all, travelled quite extensively.”

Freddie rolled on to his back, and put his
hands behind his head, staring up at the night sky laid out in all its
splendour and glory.

“But if you think about it, there are
as many uncharted islands as there are stars and planets in the skies.”

“I suppose you are right.” She
looked at him. “And we have much work to do it would seem. For the king.
Freddie?”

“Lucretia?”

“Do you suppose we are doing the right
thing? Going to Slough? Working on the telescope? I suppose Al will still be
able to help a lot. He did manage to somehow turn Leibniz’s brass blanket into
a glove.”

The primate looked up from his work. He was
knitting again, having taken his new craft to heart.

“I sincerely hope that hat’s not for
me,” she called over. “Not my colour, sludge.”

Freddie laughed and Orion opened a sleepy
eye, half hidden by a gargantuan scarf, ear muffs, and wing warmers. He was so
hot that he was quickly lulled back into a scorching slumber.

“Lucretia, why are you so worried?”

She sighed. “I’m not worried. I will
just miss the ice and fire above my head.”

“But dearest girl, it will always be there.”

“Not from this vantage point.”

“Hmm. Where did the parrot go?”

“Actually, I have no idea. I assumed he,
or she, just flew off, London-bound.”

“You’re probably right,” remarked
Freddie, and he resumed his contemplation of the cosmos.

*

Al sat on his bed, head in his hands. He
had no earthly idea about how to pack up all of his belongings. Freddie and
Lucretia had charts and telescopes and astronomical devices and the like, but
they were already all boxed away in chests. They were due to leave soon, and he
hadn’t even made a start.

That was it, he would write a list! He
fetched paper, ink and quill and sat down to write. He felt himself growing
sleepy, and held one eye open between finger and thumb so he could complete his
task.

*

Lucretia came upon him the following
morning, ink spilt across the sheets, staining them black.

“Al! Al! Wake up! We are due to leave
soon! Come on!” She shook him awake.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, before looking
down at himself and jumping off the bed in startled fright.

“Lucretia! I have turned black
overnight! Help! What manner of disease is this?”

“Al.” She couldn’t continue she
was laughing so hard.

“Well, I don’t find this terribly
amusing. Thank you very much for your sympathy. Your brother has a potential
malaise that has never yet been heard of. I mean have you heard of it? No? Me
neither. And if we haven’t heard of it, what are the chances that anybody else
has? Hey? Oh, my word, I am so ill!” He sat back on the bed and lay down
dramatically, falling on top of the ink pot.

“Oww! I have a stabbing pain in my
back! I am so unwell. Lucretia, get up off the floor, stop laughing like a
child and get me a doctor! I will be unable to travel!”

He looked remarkably better and brighter at
the thought of not having to get on a horse.

“Al. You. Are. A. Big. Baby.”

“I’m poorly, Lucretia.”

“Poorly my fancy foot, Alexander.”

“Harsh.”

“But true. You obviously fell asleep
while you were intent on composing something. The ink spilled over everything.”

“Have you ever considered a second
career as a sleuth?”

“Not funny, Al. Have you even packed
up yet? Luckily for you, and given past form, Freddie knew to get help with
shutting up your work room. Everything is in chests and awaiting transport.”

“Oh, thank goodness for that! But what
about all of this?” He gestured around his room with an ink-stained hand.

Books lay everywhere, some opened, some
closed. Clothes spilled from drawers, bits of half-built contraptions littered
the surface of the dressing table. Clockwork innards crunched underfoot.

“I have it!” He sprang from the
bed, fully healed, after a moment of deep thought. “You said that it was a
shame I hadn’t thought of something to help us pack. Here, quickly, help me.”
He fumbled in his pocket for a key, and on finding it made his way over to a
heavy wooden chest which he opened with alacrity.

“The clockwork orchestra?” She
peered into the chest.

“Indeed, help me wind them up and we
can put them to work.”

“This is possibly one of your worst
ideas.”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” he
replied, frantically turning the key on the back of one of the elephants.

*

The rain started falling softly, and
Lucretia pulled the hood of her travelling cape up. She walked around the house
that they were leaving, saying goodbye in her own way to the walls, windows, and
the roof where she had spent so many happy hours after leaving Germany. Her
eyes came to rest on Freddie.

She would never tell him, but she loved
living with him and Al.

Leibniz scampered up to her and climbed up
her cape until he was burrowed in close. Snuggling in, he chattered to her.

He and Orion had been gifts from Mr. B. On
meeting her, he had decided she needed company while stargazing and had given
her two great friends, and his own friendship of course.

“Lucretia! Damn it! How am I to get
Orion on the horse?” Freddie, red-faced with exertion, pleaded.

Lucretia threw back her head and laughed. “He
hates horses, silly, almost as much as Al.”

“Speaking of Al, have you seen him?”

The thundering of hooves took them by
surprise and Orion took off in flight to land on Lucretia’s shoulder, pushing
her to her knees. Freddie wheeled round and tried to jump in front of the horse
to which Al was clinging for dear life.

He fell and met the earth, screaming after his brother.

The horse disappeared out of sight, leaving
a track of clods of earth driven up by its hooves.

In Which They Glimpse The Two-Horse Town
New
Neighbours
The Advertisement
The Family O
The Burning Of A Letter

The trees went by in a blur of browns and
greens as brother and sister galloped after the rogue horse.

“Orion! Go find Al. Fly!”

The owl took off soundlessly, huge wings
spreading, soaring higher and higher until he was a dark smudge on the face of
the sky.

“I’m not sure if I can keep this up,”
wheezed Freddie, teeth unnaturally white in his mud-spattered face.

“Got to keep going,” she wheezed
in return. “Hang on, I think I see something!” She dug her heels in
to hurry her horse on even faster. The horse, indignant at her behaviour,
turned his head to nip her.

“Not now!”

The horse tossed his head in disdain.

As they came over the brow of a hill there
was Orion, sitting placidly beside Al, with his horse contentedly munching on
grass.