The Knight Of The Rose (29 page)

maybe if I c ould come over he re and steal you away, take you back with me, I could make

everything okay again, the way it should’ve been. Then you met David—,” his voice lowered, and

my eyes watered uncontr ollably at the very mention of his name, “and I los t you all over again. I

came here to say goodbye. I came to see you one last time before I let you get on with your life. But

you’re not happy. I thought you would be. But—” the warm breath he exhaled brushed my

collarbones when he leaned his forehead against mine, “I can see how much you’re hurting. I don’t

think David’s good for you.
I’m
good for you—you belong with
me
.”

He’s right—David’s not good for me, and that’s why he’s gone—that’s why my heart feels

like it’s been trampled on, and why I want to rip it out to stop the pain. I’ve been kicked in the gut

too many times now, with love, and I can’t possibly take anymore.

Crying was no longer optional; wa rm tears turned cold as the chill in the air from the stormy

night before left its mark on my cheeks. “Mike, I—”

“Shh. Don’t speak, baby. Don’t say anything. I know. I know all about it.”

“All about what?” Fear widened my gaze.

His shoulders dropped. “I have a confession to make.”

“What?” Oh no, my diary. I wrote everything in there; everything about Mum and Harry and

Mike and David—David and his
peculiar
diet. “Did you read my diary?”

“No. No way. I’d never do that.

No. I—” He pr essed his lips together . “I stole David’s

number from your phone and...I called him.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, you were so sad. You didn’ t even notice how sad you were. I saw you tr ying to be

happy, trying to pretend everything was okay. But I’m not stupid, Ara. I knew ther e was something

up with you. I’ve known you all my li fe. All of
your
life for that matter.” Mike took my hand. “I

knew he was hurting you. I—I was afraid he might be one of those controlling types; you know, who

hurts you and makes you feel like you need them to feel good about yourself—” Mike smiled and

pressed his thumb to the crease between my brows. “I was wrong. He’s a decent guy, Ara.”

“Well, when you talked to him—what...what did he say?” I asked delicately.

“He told me he’s leaving—that you couldn’t be together. He told me you wanted a family one

day, and a normal life, but he couldn’t give you that.”

“So…” Mike’s words echoed in my mind, “—he...what, he told you to
have
me?”

“It wasn’t like that, Ar—” Mike rolled his head to one side. “He just said that he knows I’ll

make you happy, and that’s all he ever wanted for you.”

David gave me away? How could he love me so much that he could pass me on to another

man? How could he love me so little that he could let me go?

My heart felt unsteady.

Mike waited for me to speak, his maple-colour eyes, full of love and compassion, focused on

the thoughts as they spread across my face.

I can’t be mad that he cal led David. I feel hurt that he kn ows everything—embarrassed, and

I’m sad that David’s never coming back, but it isn’t Mike’s fault. It’s so like him to do this. He’s my

protector—he always has been.

My best friend. My Zorro.

“Please don’t be mad. He just wants you to have a—a normal life.”

“And you think
you
can give me that.”

“Ara, I’ll give you everything. I’ll be whatever you want me to be. I’ll be a husband, a father

to our children, a provider, a pr otector, but most of all, Ara, if you say you’ll marry me, I will love

you—more than anyone has ever been loved in th e history of mankind, and I w ill devote every

breath I take to being the best husband you could ever have.”

“But what about what you want, Mike? I don’t want you to be what I want. I want you to be

happy, too.” S tuck for words, I paused for a se cond. “Do you even want children?” We never

discussed that. Mike’s good with kids—he always adored Harry, but never spoke of wanting a family

before—even when I’d sit for hours and dream about being a mum, he always had his head stuck in a

book or his eyes on a screen while I chatted away.

Mike took a breath, lifting his shoulders as he did. “All I want is you, baby girl. I want you a

thousand times over and every day for the rest of my existence. As for kids...well, I never thought

about it before, but—” all went quiet while he looked out the window, “—if I could place a piece of

myself inside of you, and—” he l ifted my singlet top and traced little circles around my

navel, then smiled, “—and that woul d grow, and b ecome something so beaut iful as life—as a l ife

that’s a part of you and me, combined, I can’t imagine—” he lowered his head in emphasis of the

word, “—I can ’t imagine something more wonderful and magical. So—yes. Yes, I want to have

babies—with you. I want a hundred little dark-haired, blue-eyed babies running around, and you and

me, we’ll be together. We’ll have each other. Always.
That’s
what I want.”

But is it what
I
want? I love Mike, how could I not? He’s kind and smart and handsome and

romantic—he’s willing to give me everything I ever wanted out of life. Do I want that with him?

“Please?” Mike slipped off the bed and knelt on the ground in front of me. He reached i nto

his bedside drawer and pulled out a small, purple box, then lifted the lid just a fraction as he looked

into my eyes. “Make me the happiest man on the planet. Tell me you’ll marry me, Ara-Rose.”

With his trembling fingertips he lifted the lid on the box completely, and a small red stone in

the shape of a rose caught my eye; two emeralds rested atop a thin gold vine on either side of t he

flower. I lost my breath to a lump that formed in my throat. Oh, my God. He’s really proposing. This

is it. This is the moment. I can change everything in my world for the rest of my life, for forever. For

my forever, and for Mike ’s forever, too—because they’re the same. We are the same . We belong

together.

But my heart... will it always truly belong to David?

“Yes,” I whispered so quietly that Mike’s eyes focused on my lips.

“Did you just say yes?”

“Yes. I...yeah, I did.” I could feel my eyes sparkling with tears as the afternoon light streamed

through the window.

“Seriously?” A breath of laughter escaped with the word.

“Yeah, seriously. It’s a yes. It was always meant to be that way.”

Mike laughed, then gently lifted the ring from the box and held it between his fingertips. “I...I

have a speech.” His cheeks flushed. “I kinda planned this for a while.”

I shrugged, smiling widely. “Let’s hear it then.”

He cleared the awkwardness from the back of his throat, then rested the ring to the tip of my

nail, holding my fi ngers firmly—almost unintentionally too tight. “I desi gned this for you, because

it’s perfect, beautiful, like you—a delicate flower.” He swallowed and slid the ring a little further

onto my finger. “It...it sparkles like the way you bring light to my life, and just like when I first saw

you on the day you were born, Ar a, when I got to see this ring in all of its completed grandeur, I fell

in love. I knew it was the one; just like the girl that’ll wear it for the rest of her life.
My
girl. My

beautiful rose.”

The ring, when he slid it all th e way to the base of my f inger, fit so perfectly—like Mike fit

me. We were made to go together—the sun and the sand—and as the ruby rested against my skin, it

felt like a bolt of electricity shot out through the emeralds beside the rose. The energy warmed my

hand, then my arm, and travelled into my heart; pumping that feeling, that love, all around my body.

I smoothed my fingertip around the base of the gold band. “It’s perfect, Mike.”

“I know.” The corners of hi s eyes softened and he grinned, running his fingers from my

hands, along my forearms, then rested them behind my elbows.

As I parted my legs at the knees and let him kneel between them, he seemed a li ttle rigid,

jittery, I suppose—a kind of school-boy awkwardness I’d never seen my confident, womanising best

friend wear before. I wished I had the guts to ask him to kiss me. I wanted so badly to feel the way

his lips would connect with mine—to see if they’d mould to the shape of my mouth—a kiss that

matched—or if they’d be stiff and rigid—a kiss that belonged to two stone carvings.

“What’re you thinking, Mike?”

“Nothing,” he said, but his eyes held the smile of poorly concealed thoughts.

“Liar.”

He looked away, leaving his thumbs on my hipbones and his f

ingers almost completely

wrapping my wa ist. He se emed lost fo r words. “Sorry. It’s just...I’ve never fel t this way before.

About anyone. Not like this. I—I just don’t know what to do with you.”

“You could...” I swallowed, tr ying to force down the rising heat in my cheeks. “You could

kiss me. That’s always a start.”

But he laughed at me instead. “I want to...ki ss you. So bad it’s actually causing pain in my

chest. But I just don’t wanna get it all wrong—”

“Mike?” I pulled his face t oward me and closed my eyes tight. He smelled so fresh and

sexy—a vibrant, musky cologne. I just wanted to press my face into his neck and breathe him in.

“What can a kiss hurt?”

“Everything. I’ll go too far. I won’t be able to stop. My knees are shaking, baby—” He

laughed and looked down. “I’ve wanted this for too long. It’s taking everything in me right now not

to throw you on the bed and tear off your clothes.” He chuckled, but stopped, biting his lip. “I’m so

sorry, Ara—I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Mike. Just shut up and kiss me.”

He shook his lowered head and closed his eyes for a second.

“Please?” I wrapped my ankles around his hips, gripping him tight. I just didn’t get it. Why

would he ask me to marry him, then make some lame-ass excuse not to kiss me?

Like a heart-consuming sadness, the need to feel him close to me pulled at my brow, and

when he looked up at me again, he frowned. “What is it, Ara? Why are you frowning?”

“I—I’m…I’ve wanted this, too. Don’t you get it? It’s not just you.”

“I know.”

“Then, kiss me.” He went to shake his head, but I s topped him with a finger to his lips.

“Then, afterward, I—I want you to make love to me.”

The breath he was obviously holding blast fro m his smiling lips. “I’m not gonna do that ,

baby. Not until we’re married.”

“What? Why?”

“You know why.”

I went to clutch my locket, dropping my ha nd when I realised it wasn’t there. “I—I’m

hideous, aren’t I?”

“Ara, baby. No way. You are so perfect I have to dig my nails into my palms to st op from

listening to my evil conscience—” he shook his head, “— but we talked about this once, remember?

You told me you wanted a guy who coul d respect you. And any guy that w ouldn’t have...sex with

you until you got married would be the right one for you. You meant it then, and it’s up to me to help

you keep those values intact—even in times of...pressure.”

He’s right. I did say that. But it was so l ong ago, when absti nence was in fashion, and I

must’ve only been, like, fourteen. How can he remember that? “Well, maybe I changed my mind.”

“Ara, I’m a gr own man. I ’ve done this be fore, but you—you’re so young, and you don’t

know what you’re getting your self into. We have the rest of our lives for grown-up stuff. Let ’s just

wait a while before we take that step, okay?”

“But you won’t even kiss me?” The heat moved from my heart and limbs to places in my

body that normally only felt hot around David.

“I want to. I just don’t wanna lose control.”

“Is it that bad if you do? I mean, it won’t be the end of the world, right?”
You’re not going to

eat me, like my last boyfriend.

Mike chuckled and looked down at my legs around him. “No, you’re right. It really wouldn’t.

I guess—I don’t know, I guess I’m not used to being allowed to to uch you like this. My blood’s

going mad in here trying to control my fingers.”

“Me too—”

“Really?” Mike said.

Why is that so hard to believe?

“Okay, well, I go tta stand up ‘cause my feet’re going numb.” He laughed and sat beside me

on the bed again; I sighed aloud. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“It just seems like a convenient excuse. Are you afraid if you see me naked you’ll change

your mind about me?”

“What? Why would you say a thing like that?”

I shrugged.

“Ara, baby, the thought of you naked is...” He shook his head. “You can’t even ment ion

things like that to a guy who’s trying not to sedu ce you. Look what you’ve done to me—here, feel.”

He placed my hand on his chest—over his heart. It thumped rapidly through its cage, like, I could

almost feel it tapping my hand.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” I dropped my hand. “Just because you want sex doesn’t mean

you’re attracted to me. I’ve
seen
some of the girls you took home.”

“Ara—”

“Just...you would tell me, right?” I kept my head down, but looked at him from under my

lashes. “If there was something wrong with me—you’d tell me?”

Behind closed lips, his laughter rumbled in the back of his thr oat. “Oh, Ara. I’m sorry—I