The Kissing Booth (18 page)

I really liked these rare conversations where I saw the Noah behind the sexy smirk; when he let me see his vulnerable side. I never knew he’d been to see counselors – maybe Lee didn’t even know about it.

‘You’re cute when you look all embarrassed like that,’ I teased, lightening the mood.

‘One, I’m not embarrassed,’ he said, knowing I was joking. ‘And two’ – he bumped his knee against mine – ‘don’t call me cute.’

I laughed now, and he gave me a smile, one that flashed the dimple in his left cheek. My smile started making my cheek hurt, and I groaned, putting a hand to my aching face.

Pulling my hand away, Noah leaned forward and gave me a light kiss there. I felt all fuzzy inside; I guess kissing the boo-boo better doesn’t only work on five-year-olds.

I jolted, though. I shouldn’t be feeling all fuzzy and happy. I was being careful and cautious with my feelings for Noah.

We were probably closer now he’d confided in me like that – but that was
bad
. We shouldn’t be getting closer. I couldn’t let myself have feelings for Noah; if I did, when things ended up messy, everything would spiral out of control. Lee would hate me, and I wouldn’t have Noah to fall back on, and I’d be a total mess.

But looking into his eyes, suppressing a giggle as he tenderly kissed my sore cheek, all I could think about was him. How much I liked being with him. How amazing it felt even when he just had his arm around me. How bright and blue his eyes were . . .

‘Elle—’ he started to say, looking grave, but I’d already started talking.

‘I think I hurt my lips too,’ I told him quietly, pointing at them.

He laughed almost inaudibly, shaking his head at me but leaning in closer—

The door, which hadn’t been closed properly, was pushed open before we could move apart.

‘What’s going on?’

Noah shot to his feet and turned around while I stayed numbly on the edge of the bed.

A whole string of curses I’d never say aloud ran through my mind when I saw Lee standing in the doorway.

‘I said, what’s going on?’ he repeated, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked from me to Noah. Then his eyes flashed back to me and his jaw dropped. ‘Jesus! Shelly, what happened to your face?’

‘Thanks,’ I mumbled sarcastically, but it didn’t have the right amount of enthusiasm to lighten the mood.

Lee was in front of me in a second, looking at my hurt cheek. He whirled around to glare at his brother. ‘Did you do that to her?’

‘What?’ Noah asked tightly. ‘What did you say?’

‘What, are you deaf?’ Lee muttered. Then, much louder, he said, ‘I said, did you do that to her? Did you hit Elle?’

Noah’s jaw clenched so tight you could see all the muscles up the side of his face straining. ‘You really think . . . I’d hit Elle?’

‘Yeah, well, I wouldn’t put it past you!’ Lee snapped angrily. ‘Then how the fuck did it happen? What the hell were you doing?’

Lee only ever swore like that when he got really, really mad. I knew things were getting bad, but I was frozen in place, numb.

Noah retorted carelessly, ‘I don’t have to answer to you, little bro.’

Lee’s fists clenched and unclenched at the sneering tone Noah used. ‘Then what happened to Elle?’

‘It’s nothing,’ I said timidly, and both of them turned to look at me harshly. I dipped my head, my hair hiding my face as I peeked up at them again. ‘It’s fine, I’m okay . . .’

‘The hell you are,’ Lee muttered darkly. He thrust a finger in my direction and almost yelled at Noah, ‘What happened?’

‘She came looking for you and tripped in the garage. It’s not that big a deal. Calm down already. She’s fine.’

It was the flippant tone that was getting Lee really riled up, and I bet Noah knew it. It would’ve got me really angry too.

‘It’s not his fault . . .’ I tried; they both ignored me.

‘And you just let her fall over? I bet it was your crap lying around that made her trip in the first place.’

‘It’s not like I have some kind of divine power to control her klutziness.’

Gee, thanks, Noah
.

‘But it
was
your fault, then? I knew it,’ Lee scoffed, his head shaking back and forth. He was biting the inside of one cheek in anger. I was sure he knew Noah wasn’t really to blame, but he was mad enough at him that he’d blame him anyway.

‘It was an accident,’ Noah said through gritted teeth, his eyes blazing blue with anger.

Lee just shrugged, winding Noah up even more. ‘I wouldn’t have put it past you to actually
do
that to her.’

‘That’s it,’ Noah growled, flying at Lee, who’d already taken a swing.

I jumped off the bed, pushing myself between them before they actually killed each other. I shoved Noah’s chest as hard as I could, with no effect. But at least, now that I was in the middle, they’d stopped trying to hit each other.

‘Noah,’ I said quietly. ‘Noah, look at me. Noah.’

He stopped looking daggers at Lee and turned, his expression a little softer. ‘You know I wouldn’t hit you, Elle. If I could’ve, I would’ve stopped you falling. I wouldn’t hit you – you know that, right?’

I nodded patiently. ‘Yes, I know. But you don’t have to pick a fight with Lee, all right? He’s just worried about me.’

‘
I wouldn’t hit you
,’ Noah said fiercely, his jaw clenching again.

‘I know,’ I said, making my voice as soothing as I could. I placed a hand on his chest, which rose and fell rapidly with his shallow breaths. ‘I know, alright? Just calm down already. Please. I know you wouldn’t. Calm down, please.’

He held my gaze a few more seconds before stepping back, running his fingers through his hair. I turned around and grabbed Lee’s hand, tugging him out of the room and into his bedroom.

When he shut the door behind us he said, ‘Wow. I have never seen anybody calm him down like that before. That was . . . weird. And you’re usually yelling at each other.’

‘Look, just forget it. At least you’re not trying to attack each other anymore,’ I sighed, and threw myself onto his bouncy mattress. He plopped down beside me, then reached over to touch my cheek. I sucked in a sharp breath, cringing away.

‘Sorry,’ he said instantly. ‘So tell me what happened.’

What had been Noah’s story? I’d gone looking for Lee . . .

So I mumbled something about coming over and hearing someone in the garage, but it was Noah. I’d gone through to the games room to find Lee, but I’d fallen over and hit my face.

My stomach was twisting around and I felt ready to puke. Most likely from guilt, I decided. I hated having to lie to Lee. But I could hardly tell him the truth, especially now, when he was still angry at Noah, even if he was calming down.

So I was just hanging in your garage, flirting with Noah, making out with him a little before he went back to messing with his bike, and then I fell flat on my face. Oh, and by the way, I’ve been sneaking around with him for the past few weeks, so it’s no big deal. We do this kind of thing on a regular basis – just without me falling over all the time
.

Yeah, that’d go down
great
.

It wasn’t the right time, I told myself. I couldn’t tell him.

Not that there was anything to tell – it’s not like I had any feelings for Noah in that way – and even if there had been, it wasn’t the right time.

‘Fine, so it wasn’t his fault,’ he grumbled. ‘But he—’

I didn’t let him finish; there was something I was desperate to ask him. But the truth was, I was scared of what he’d answer.

But now I blurted, ‘Did you
really
think he’d hit me?’

Lee looked at me for a long moment, then dropped his gaze. ‘I know, I know, he’s my brother. But just for a second I thought he’d seriously blown his top and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, or you guys had been arguing again . . . I hate to think he would, but—’

‘He wouldn’t hit me,’ I said quietly, fiddling with my T-shirt. There was a rip in it; it must’ve happened when I fell off the workbench. ‘Even Noah knows where to draw the line.’

‘I hope so,’ Lee muttered.

‘I
know
so.’

‘One minute you’re at each other’s throats, the next you’re defending him?’ It wasn’t an accusation, just a statement.

‘You flipped out pretty quickly yourself,’ I pointed out. ‘What’s up?’

He sighed, mussing his hair. ‘I’m just on edge. Failed my history test, remember? My parents said maybe I’m spending too much time with Rachel. I’m just stressed.’

I reached for his hand, linking my fingers through his. He squeezed my hand back tightly, and took a deep breath.

‘Anyway, don’t change the subject, missy. Since when were you two so buddy-buddy, anyway? You and Noah looked pretty close when I came in.’

My heart raced. I didn’t think he’d seen anything – Lee was never the kind to beat around the bush – he’d have already asked me straight out if he suspected anything was up.

Now isn’t the right time. Not right now. You can tell him some other time, but not now . . 
.

My stomach twisted around. I should just tell him. I mean . . . he was bound to find out at some point, so why not just tell him now, before he found out from someone else? I should just
tell him
.

I didn’t want to. He was going to hate me.

But he’d hate me less now than if he found out later.

‘Lee, please don’t hate—’

‘Elle?’ came a voice from the doorway.

I broke off with a sigh, flopping back onto Lee’s bed. Noah had the worst possible timing in the world. Not now, when I was just about to tell Lee. Not now.

‘What the hell do you want?’ Lee snapped at him, when I didn’t say anything.

Noah shot him a glare, but said, ‘Elle, can I talk to you a sec?’

‘Sure.’ I squeezed Lee’s hand once more before letting go and pushing myself up off the bed. I gave Lee what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and shut the bedroom door as I left.

Noah was scratching at the back of his neck, his jaw tight. It took me a while to read his expression: he was thinking about something pretty hard. He opened his mouth, closed it, then dragged me after him to his room again. This time, he shut the door properly.

‘I get it if – if, you know, you don’t . . . if you want to stop . . . you know, whatever we’ve been doing. If you don’t want to see me anymore.’

I frowned a little. Where was this coming from all of a sudden? ‘Why would I want to do that?’

He shrugged. ‘I get it if you do. You were saying earlier about me being violent, and then there was that stuff Lee said about – about me hitting you, and I just . . . I get it.’

I kept on frowning.

‘
Violence junkie
isn’t exactly on anyone’s list of top five qualities in a guy, huh?’ He gave a bitter smile. ‘I’d never do something like what Lee said, though – you know that, right? I’m serious. I’d never hurt you, Elle, I swear.’

I nodded. ‘I know, okay? I
know
.’

‘But I still understand if you don’t want to . . . keep this up. Whatever we’re doing. If you want to stop—’

‘I don’t. I mean,’ I went on hastily when his face fell, ‘I don’t want to stop.’

He smiled, and gave a breathy chuckle, pulling me forward and resting his forehead on mine. ‘I’m such a bad influence on you. Letting you make stupid decisions like this.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like staying with me.’ He gave me a quick kiss on the lips, then stepped back and said, ‘Go on – before he thinks you’ve pushed me out of the window or something.’

I laughed, and shook my head at him as I walked out. Lee was waiting outside his bedroom – but he wasn’t eavesdropping. Just waiting.

‘What was that about?’

I said something about Noah telling me he wouldn’t hit me, waving a hand around dismissively like it didn’t matter. But my heart was hammering in my chest, waiting for Lee to nod and accept my lie.

‘Is this the part where you tell me my best friend and my big brother are madly in love?’

I snorted, burst out laughing. ‘Lee, you do come up with some trash,’ I told him.

In love? Me, in love with Noah Flynn?

Yeah. Right.

My dad just sighed and told me to be more careful when I told him I’d fallen in the garage at Lee’s.

‘Honestly,’ he said. ‘You’re worse than your mom ever was. You remember that time she tripped on the escalator at the mall? Almost had to have stitches in her foot.’ He shook his head, smiling nostalgically at the memory.

Nobody at school doubted my story that I’d fallen in Lee’s garage either. And why should they? It wasn’t a lie – for once. Lying seemed to go hand in hand with my relationship with Noah, and I hated that.

But I seemed to be getting better and better at it every day. Not that it was something I was proud of.

At lunch I was waiting for Lee and the guys to finish loading their plates when the entire table suddenly filled with the girls.

‘So I was thinking,’ Jaime announced, looking right at me, ‘about Flynn.’

‘Ooh, spill,’ Tamara said eagerly.

‘Is he with anyone?’ she asked me bluntly.

Everyone knew Flynn was single, that he didn’t have girlfriends, just flings. So why did she suddenly think he was ‘with’ someone? Had we slipped up? Had she seen us? Was that why she directed that question at me?

I swallowed, flexing my fingers into my clammy palms. I went for an easy answer. ‘I’m not exactly clued in on what Noah’s doing all the time.’

‘You’re more clued in than any of us,’ Olivia muttered. ‘Lucky bitch.’ But she winked at me with a big smile and I laughed, feeling a little relieved.

‘Why are you asking?’ I said to Jaime.

She shrugged. ‘We just had this theory.’

‘Theory?’ I repeated. Jaime nodded, and Candice leaned in closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. Casually, like my pulse wasn’t racing wildly, I picked up a forkful of my pasta salad.

‘We think Flynn’s got some mystery girlfriend.’

I very nearly dropped my fork. I only just kept from dropping my jaw too.

Samantha snorted. ‘I doubt it. This is Flynn we’re talking about. He’s such a player, I
cannot
picture him going long-term with anyone . . .’