The Kingdom Land (25 page)

“
Well, so much for wishful
thinking. Being told off three times in a week is enough. So much
for Gods’ will.
”

Chapter
Twenty-One

 

 

L
aura's
sleep was shallow and without comfort that evening. Finally she got
up and paced for a time. She had never smoked, but she had a
strange sensation that she wished she did. She thought of her
rudeness to Erik every time she had been around him. She thought of
her fear and anger when she faced Marcus alone. She remembered the
conversation with John and how much sense he made.

She remembered that evening six years ago as she had
laid out her lunch and instead of eating had heard the Lord's
invitation. She had come to the end of excuses six years ago, and
she had nowhere to turn. The Lord turned to her and she
responded.

She took inventory of the last few days; fired from
her job, the memories of her stillborn child, the meeting with
Marcus, and her constant pushing aside a guy who had done nothing
but try to help. She was no longer able to control her anger and
she knew it.

She was out of control. All the right sermons with
all the right words from John or Gracie wouldn't help. Six years
ago she had turned to Christ in a park for answers and forgiveness.
Last night she turned to anger which had become her answer. Now,
once again, she needed to be back at that beginning picnic table,
asking for belief and forgiveness.

“
Who am I kidding, Lord? I can try
to find every excuse about my life being stained, but I can't avoid
one fact… I've turned my back on You ever since that day my child
was gone. I've prayed to the heavens, but I have not prayed to You.
I felt distant from You because of my sin, but I have never tried
to come to You.

“
I know Your Word. I know Your
presence, but I have looked at the hurt rather than Your love for
me. I am that wife who only looks at her husband's faults. I have
said the right things to others, but I haven't said the right
things to You.

“
My Lord, I want to be close to You
again. But I know my heart is hard with all my scares and
bitterness. I need Your help. Forgive me that my love has turned
cold, and I have only known You from a distance.”

For the first time in a long time she knew that she
was praying from her heart to Him, and not saying words that
sounded good.

But to know His forgiveness I
better start by asking forgiveness from others.
She had to find Erik and let him know that she wasn't crazy
and that He was a great God. She needed to thank Erik for his
patience rather than scold him. Then she needed to go back to
Gracie and Billings and let her know that her starting over wasn't
for the moment, but for a lifetime.

She needed to see Erik, and go to him rather than
wait for Erik to come around. First she would go to work in the
morning. Her Saturday shift ended at seven rather than five. She
would go to the parking lot of the fairgrounds. She was certain he
would be back at his beloved fair. Maybe she could borrow a few
dollars from Barbara and buy Erik a pronto pup maybe two, and treat
him like a king. She needed to apologize and she wanted to show she
could be a normal person. First she needed to get some sleep. Then
she needed to go to work.

Her shift went very slow that day. The WinRight was
extremely busy with people stopping in either on their way to or
from the fair. The fact that Laura's aisle was constantly full was
the only thing that allowed her to maintain her composure. She knew
what she had to do, and wanted to do it now.

Finally she pulled into the fair grounds without
changing from her WinRight green smock. The main lot did not have
Erik's Chevy pickup, nor did the side lot behind the racetrack or
the small one next to the pavilion. He wasn't there yet.

She stood by the entrance and waited for him to show
up. She shifted her feet as she stood guard to make sure he wasn't
missed. The latecomers to the fair, mostly young people, eyed her
and her green smock and wondered why this good-looking girl looked
so lost.

The thought came to her that Erik might have come
with someone else and was already in the gates. It would be almost
impossible to find Erik in the maze of the rides and games and
animal displays. She hurriedly went to every place they had stopped
the day before. Several times she ran across the midway thinking
she had found Erik only to find a stranger with little resemblance.
Her eyes were playing tricks on her. She could wait for the next
day and meet him at church, but what needed to be done, needed to
be done today.

When it became clear Erik wasn't there she decided to
go to him at his farm. She knew the farm was straight west of
Sweetgrass which would make it straight north of Fairfield. That
meant she knew the road, and Erik had described the farm house in
such detail she knew she could find it. People would ask too many
questions if she asked for directions and she didn't even know his
aunt and uncle's name. It had already turned dark, so it was
somewhat of a long shot that she would find the farm let alone find
him there, but she needed to try. She needed to get things
right.

 

 

 

Chapter
Twenty-Two

T
he road
north to the Cooper’s farm was straight with no variance for
twenty-five miles. The only exception was the first half-mile of
paved road past the city limit. As the road left the city limits it
curved to the right and then a sharp curve to the left. It then
crossed over a deep ravine called Flat Rock. After this, the road
had no turns.

Laura wasn’t familiar with the road or its two
curves. Her single focus was on Erik, wanting to make things right
and trying to remember every detail he had conveyed to her about
the farm so she wouldn’t miss it. The road was empty with everyone
at the fair, and the night was clear. Laura hardly noticed the
first curve, but she was into the second faster than she expected.
She held the steering wheel hard and heard the distinct sound of
tires skidding on the pavement. She thought belatedly that she
should have been concentrating on the road more and pushing on the
gas less.

She still had the car under control when she heard a
sound she didn’t recognize. She turned the wheel to the left, but
the car continued straight. The car left the road at the top of the
ravine and went twenty yards in the air before it hit the bottom of
Flat Rock ravine.

Chapter
Twenty-Three

 

 

E
rik was
seated at the dinner table with his aunt and uncle eating the fried
chicken that his aunt always made on Sunday's. He had attended
services at the Fairfield Community Church rather than the New Life
Center since he didn't want to see Laura. He had made up an excuse
for Mary and Henry why he wanted to go with them without mentioning
Laura. It made them feel good that he wanted to go with them. He
had said nothing to anyone about taking Laura to the fair. He
wanted to think that Laura was just a confused girl, but in the
solitude of his bunkhouse he found that hard to do.

Aunt Mary was serving up dessert of warm peach
cobbler when they all saw and heard John's Buick pull up to the
back of the house.

“
Wonder what he's doing? I told him
I was going to go to church with you two so he shouldn't be
wondering why I wasn't at New Life today. Maybe he just wants some
of your chicken.”

All three met him at the back door. John looked
serious in a way Erik had never seen before. “Can I come in and sit
down?'

“
Of course, you can. I was just
serving some peach cobbler. I'll get you a plate.” Mary immediately
took her hospitable role.

“
No, thanks. I have some
news.”

John didn't say anything else until they all sat down
and Erik tried to guess what brought the worried look to John's
face.

John waited longer than expected, as if he was
searching for words. He cleared his throat, not for dramatic
effect, but because tears were starting to form in the corners of
his eyes. Erik wished he would just tell the news.

“
I decided to come out and see you.
I was hardly out of town when I saw police lights. I didn't see
anything but the cars until I looked over the edge into the ravine.
There were about ten people moving around an old oil rig thrown
away years ago. I couldn't tell what was going on so I went out and
checked.”

Once again John became quiet and cleared his throat
several times.

“
Come on, what did you find?” Erik
asked.

“
Laura's been in a car accident, and
it was fatal.”

“
Who else was in the car?” It must
have been that guy.

“
It was Laura, Erik. Laura's
dead.”

“
What do mean, Laura's dead? I just
talked to her on Friday. We went to the fair. Laura's not
dead.”

“
Yes, she is. They don't know
exactly what happened and the coroner thinks it happened some time
last night, but they didn't find the car till late this morning.
They think she was going too fast on that curve right before the
ravine. She probably wasn't used to the road. The police could tell
from the skid marks that she also blew out a tire right when she
was in the curve. There are some new skid marks even before that.
She left the road and went far enough to hit that old oil derrick.
They expect she died instantly.”

“
Why didn't anyone see it last
night?”

“
It was dark. There's willow bushes
and tall grass and then the oil derrick itself. You couldn't see it
from the road. The road must have been empty when she crashed. A
girl was riding her horse this morning when she noticed it. The
coroner has a way to check to know for sure, but he says it's
pretty definite it was last evening, probably just before dusk or
maybe a little after. No one saw her go over…then, with the
dark…”

Erik's head dropped and he remembered. He remembered
what had been and thought of what could have been. He remembered
the distinct smell of Laura' perfume or hand cream or whatever it
was. That smell would follow him for years, unexpectedly appearing
at random times. He remembered how the sunset reflected off Laura's
eye as the Ferris wheel climbed. He remembered Laura bending close
to him to take his order at the Mint Bar, and he would forever
remember those times when Laura's voice sparkled as she spoke about
the Lord.

Erik only knew Laura in person for a precious short
time, but he couldn't remember a time without her. He knew her in
the bunkhouse dreams even before he knew her name. He dreamt of her
beauty, her courage, her heart and her wisdom. He hungered for her
acceptance and in those dreams he hoped that someone so beautiful
could ever love him. Now she was gone.

Tears welled in his eyes when he wondered what she
missed in the future life she would never touch. He cried hoping
her heart was open to Christ the moment she died. She was too
beautiful, too strong, too caring to be snatched from this earth.
People, not just himself, needed to know her and the joy she could
have added to their lives.

He lifted his head, and immediately
felt his aunt and uncle's stare. Their stare widened the gulf
between them and him.
They don't
understand. They didn't know Laura.
They
didn't understand Erik, they hadn't felt the sting of death like
Erik had.

And the reality of being left alone returned.

“
John, what you're telling me is
that we passed her car on the way to church and on the way back and
we didn't even notice it? She might have been alive. We might have
helped if I had only looked.”

“
No, Erik. She had a head injury.
They think she died instantly.”

“
They can think what they want. We
might have been able to help! At least we didn't need to let her
lay in her car in the hot sun. We could have done something. We
should have seen her.” Erik's voice was rising with disbelief and a
morbid horror that he may have been in the position to help and
been oblivious of needing to do so.

“
Erik, no one saw her. There is
nothing you could have done.”

“
Just like with dad and mom. There's
nothing I could have done. If there's nothing I could have done,
why does this keep happening to me? I just want to be loved by
someone. I just want to be loved, and not left.”

At that point Erik didn't say anything else. He would
say little else for several weeks. John knew more about Laura than
Henry or Mary, but none of them knew the place she held in Erik's
life. He had dreamed about her for months. His going to The Mint
had been used by God to find Him. He had prayed on Chief Mountain
and then he met her again. Combined, Laura had been a deeper part
of his life than anyone would know. Laura was an answer and the
answer was now gone. She was dead.

 

 

 

Chapter
Twenty-Four

 

 

S
ince Laura
had still been a stranger to Fairfield there was little note of her
death. There was talk about the accident, but it revolved around
how it could have happened with little comment about Laura
herself.