The Killing Times (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 1)) (35 page)

He looked at their
joined hands and simply felt calmer. “Well we were okay together, the sex was decent, and we had somewhat of a good time.” He left out details on the torment and emotional anguish she caused him, and how he tolerated it, just to not feel alone.

Elizabeth’s heart squeezed,
and she prayed he couldn’t tell by her face. As far as she was concerned he was hers now, and sharing him wasn’t something she ever planned on doing with anyone, especially the flight attendant.

“But she was in
lust with the man that made this carefully created farce. She got off on me being an FBI agent- the allure of it and the sexiness of the job. The man I was beneath, he was an afterthought to her. She preferred telling her girlfriends and strangers I was an FBI agent, as if I was a status symbol for her. She never saw me, Elizabeth- the real me. I brought you here not only to stay here, but to see if you saw through all this. I needed to know if all you saw was this,” he waved his arm to include everything around them, “or this,” he touched his chest right over the tattoo.

“Ethan, I don’t fi
nd the FBI sexy. I’ve been there and done that. I don’t find your couch sexy, or your lamps sexy either. In fact, if you want the truth, I really hate that painting.” Elizabeth winked at him.

Blackhawk grinned. He hated
it too.

“
You're the allure for me,” she looked into his eyes. “What turns me on is when you're shirtless, naked, or in running clothes. You're what caught me, not the brownstone. I had one of my own in the same neighborhood, and this all means nothing to me. When I see you smile or your hair down, that’s going to get me each and every time. Not the FBI badge you wear on your hip. I'm not sleeping with the FBI. I’m sleeping with Ethan Blackhawk, and he’s incredibly sweet, kind and sexy as sin.”

He didn’t know what to say
. His ability to speak was gone.

Elizabeth continu
ed, “I watch your face, always worried that you’re not good enough. I have to tell you Ethan, you’re more than enough. You’re perfect. The tattoos you worry will give away your past, they make you interesting. The story behind each one gives you a history, and I can’t wait to hear about them all. I won’t judge you by your past; it’s just that, the past. I will judge you on how we are together, and how we fit. Anything before this means nothing to me. I want to be with you, not your history or things.”

“I
’m ashamed of the tattoos.” Ethan was honest, because he believed she wouldn’t hurt him. Not another living soul knew how he felt about the tattoos covering his body. “I got them out of anger, spite, and to be bad ass. They don’t mean anything to me anymore. I look at them and have no connection with them, except as a reminder of my sins and the demons that chase me.”

Elizabeth stroked his cheek and looked into his eyes.
“I have a connection with them. They’re on the body of a man I care deeply about, and to me they are beautiful, sexy and fascinating.”

He
swallowed the lump in his throat.

“How many are there?”

Her words touched him, and he knew he brought the right woman home this time. He finally found the woman who saw him. In twenty years not one person thought to count them, or wanted to hear the story about them, only her. “I think there are twenty two.”

“At least you had the common sense to not get a woman’s name on your body,” she teased.

The comment made him laugh and helped him relax a little more. “Getting a name in ink makes you completely crazy, and out of control. I was wild, not crazy. There’s a big difference there, Ms. LaRue.”

“There’s your silver lining, Mr. Blackhawk.”  She leaned forward and kissed him, and yet he still felt tense. “What else is bothering you, Ethan?
What aren’t you telling me?”

Blackhawk pushed on, telling her the whol
e truth. “During the last year the dreams started and continued nightly.”

She immediately looked concerned. One of the first
signs an agent was burning out was the dreams. 

“There was this woman in them and she called to me
. Every night she begged for my help. She would look lost, sad and sometimes hurt. I had every dream possible, from her being covered in blood, to her just standing there watching me,” he forged ahead, needing to get it out.

It broke her heart
. The pain on his face was killing her. Ethan was doing battle with some invisible foe. What he was confessing was tearing him apart and she didn’t understand why. “I’m here, Ethan. Go on. Was she a stranger?”

“That’s the problem,” he said, his dark eyes meeting her light ones. “It was you.
”

Elizabeth didn’t understand.

“I don’t know how, but you were the woman in the dreams. I didn’t know that until a few days ago, but the second I heard your voice I knew, and then I saw you. I don’t know how it happened, but I saw you before I met you. It’s terrifying and haunting me.”

She watched his face carefully, trying to read him and all she saw was
pain and fear. “So you would dream about me?” She didn’t know what to say. “Every night?”

“Yes,” he waited for her to laugh at him and call him crazy.

Did she believe in cognitive ability? Absolutely, she worked for the FBI at one time and they had a unit that had agents who had these skills. Did she believe he dreamed? She had to, because it was tearing him up so badly it had to be truth, as he saw it. Ethan wasn’t one to live in the fantasy world.

Ethan Blackhawk was
hardcore reality.

“I believe you.”

There was a tiny ray of hope. “As soon as the dreams started a year ago, I just couldn’t see the flight attendant anymore. She accused me of having another woman on the side, and in a way it was the truth. There was someone else. You were that woman, and I had to find you.”

Her ability to breathe stopped. He gave up dating because of her, because
he believed she was out there. Those words wrapped themselves around her heart and rooted deep within her soul. It staggered her that he searched a full year for her, always believing.

He’d never given up.

“I don’t know how
or why, but I believe that all things happen for a reason. I don’t accept that we’re a coincidence,” he looked into her eyes and felt so much love. “I don’t, for one moment, believe that Gabe sent me to Salem, and I just happened to find you. I was meant to, and now I just need to figure out how to make it all work.”

“Make it work?” She really couldn’t breathe.
Elizabeth was sure the next step was her turning blue and passing out.

“I want to make us work, Lyzee.” He said with completely honesty. “You aren’t an assignment fling, or a multiple night stand.
I don’t want you in my bed because I’m lonely. I want this to go on for a long time. I want to be with you,” he paused and weighed his options. “Because you matter to me.”

At the last minute
he chickened out. Ethan just couldn’t get the words out.

Elizabeth didn’t know what to say, she hoped he would say the words, but
when he didn’t, she understood. Ethan needed to admit it when he was ready, and until then she could wait him out.

“Then let’s make it work, Ethan,” she said softly, moving back into his body
, Elizabeth brought her lips to his and kissed him. She offered herself to him, all of her, putting her heart into the kiss. Patiently, she waited for him to let go of the fear, and when he did life exploded around them. She moaned against his mouth, as his hands travelled across her body exploring her.

Blackhawk
experienced the rush of excitement. She had believed him, accepted all he said, and didn’t run from him. Ethan pushed them both up from the couch, lifting her into his arms, and carrying her to his bedroom.

Today he could start living, and start making it work for both of them.

His life began now.

Monday Afternoon

Elizabeth lay awake beside him, listening to his deep breathing, and she couldn’t help but just stare. When he wasn’t sleeping he was sexy, but asleep he was enthralling. She just wanted to touch every inch of him with her fingertips, tracing the lines and angles. She watched the slow easy up and down motion of his chest, and she couldn’t help but be drawn in by his handsome face. He was strong, masculine, and incredibly sexy. If he wasn’t so exhausted, she would have gently nudged him awake, just to show him how incredible he was to her.

Elizabeth smiled,
deciding to just let him rest. He was in a deep sleep, already spent from their voracious love making earlier.

When he carried her to his bed, he gave her everything he had
in the most mind blowing sex. It was if he was trying to tell her something out of sheer desperation. Now he looked peaceful, and she didn’t want to ruin it.

Elizabeth looked over at the clock
. She wanted to wander the old neighborhood and do some exploring. Slipping out of bed, she noticed he didn’t even move, this was his safety zone. Here he felt safe, and she was glad that she was able to be part of it. Everyone needed a place to rejuvenate, and this was his. It occurred to her that she wasn’t sure how they would make it work, but they would. For now, they had to live for the moment as the future was cloudy.

Elizabeth dressed quickly and wa
ndered back out to his kitchen. She found paper and scribbled him a note not to worry, she was running out. Elizabeth knew the neighborhood and checked his refrigerator for supplies.

Why not kill two birds with one stone while she was out exploring
?

T
hey would need to eat tomorrow morning, so she made a list, and picked his keys up from the bowl by the front door. Making sure the alarm wasn’t on, Elizabeth wandered out, locking up behind her.

Out in the hall
she put the keys in her pocket, and turned around only to be startled by an older woman staring at her.

“Who are you?”
The elderly woman demanded, suspiciously.

She
took in the weathered old face. “My name’s Elizabeth.”

“You know he’s an FBI agent,
and you shouldn’t break into his house.”

Elizabeth laughed at the thought of that
and reassured her, “Ethan’s my boyfriend.” She didn’t know what else to call him. Lover sounded crass, even to her. “I’m not breaking into the place; I’m locking up and running some errands for him.”

“You don’t look like the last one,” she answered, leaning
on the doorframe. “She was a blonde who wore too much makeup.”

Elizabeth knew what would relax the woman. She reached into her purse and pulled out her badge. “I
’m from a town down south. I’m the sheriff there. I used to work for the FBI once too.”

The woman took it
and touched it with her gnarled fingers. “Take care of him. Ethan’s a good man. He shovels my snow for me and runs to the store for me when he’s home, if I need anything.”

She had an idea, “I’m going shopping for him now
. Do you need anything?” Immediately, the woman’s face changed. “I could use a few things,” she said, and watched as Elizabeth pulled out the list she made.

“Eggs and milk, and also there is a bakery on the corner,
and they make the best cupcakes,” she said, happily thinking about the baked treats.

“I used to live on the red velvet myself,” she said, putting the list away. “I’ll be back in an hour, okay?”

The woman nodded and closed her door, peeking out at her. She watched the raven haired woman curiously. Ethan Blackhawk picked a beauty this time, and she already liked the gorgeous woman. It would be interesting to see where this went, and if she would be nicer than the last one.

Elizabeth walked down the sidewalk, to the bakery, then the florist, and finally the grocery on the next street. She wa
s glad to see the streets again.

Strolling
past her old house, she smiled. The good memories came back, and she remembered loving it here in Georgetown. If she had to, she would come back willingly to be with him.

That thought caught her off guard, and gave her pause.

Oh yeah, she’d come back to be with him in a heartbeat.

                            *   *   *

“How far back did Blackhawk want the deep searches?” asked the tech
, holding the papers.

Christina
laughed. She’d been working with Special Agent Blackhawk for over six years. “I’m going to guess to birth.”

“Oh good and here I was worried it would take days,” quipped the other agent
, teasingly. “Is this a complete list?” he asked.

Christina looked over his shoulder, scanning the names. It was everyone on the
sheriff’s team, including the woman herself. “Yep, that’s everyone. Now that we know that her father was a victim, we need to do a search on him and everyone he was married to or related to also. Blackhawk wants it thorough.”