The Key (54 page)

She feels as if Linnéa has exploded an atom bomb inside her. All is devastated now.

Linnéa and Vanessa were the first to leave. Then the others wandered away. All except Gustaf, who still sits next to her on the edge of the stage.

‘Is this how it usually is?’ he asks.

‘No,’ Minoo says. ‘OK, we argued now and then, but we’re …’

A pause.

‘You’re friends?’ Gustaf finishes.

‘That’s what I used to think, anyway.’

Minoo draws her finger across the wooden stage floor. Her fingertip gets dirty and she wipes it on her trouser leg. Glances at Gustaf. He leans forward and his hands lie clasped on his lap.

‘Sorry if I was a little too direct about your powers,’ she says.

‘No problem,’ he says with a faint smile. ‘I didn’t think I had any. But of course it feels tough that Rickard and Evelina but not me … I really do want to help, you know.’

She had believed for a long time that she had no power at all, and wonders if Gustaf feels now as she did then. He, more than anyone, is so used to being the best at everything, including things that Minoo had never been successful at, like sport and popularity.

‘Do you think I’m doing the right thing?’ she asks. ‘Or is Linnéa right?’

She doesn’t dare look at him. She regrets already that she even asked the question. Another condemnation would be beyond bearing.

‘I think Linnéa went too far,’ Gustaf says. ‘Way too far. Having said that, I can understand her, too …’

She glances at him again. He looks thoughtful.

‘Look, Minoo, I don’t know what’s right and wrong here. But what you’re going through seems very hard. And lonely.’

Amongst all the debris inside her, something stirs. A small, living shoot rises out of the ashes.

‘This is how I see it,’ Gustaf continues. ‘I can’t do very much to help save the world …’

He straightens up and turns to her.

‘But I am your friend.’

At his words, Minoo suddenly feels utterly present and aware, even as, at the same time, the world around her is dissolving.

Gustaf looks closely at her. His eyes scrutinise her face. But it doesn’t make her nervous. Not at all. She doesn’t want him to stop looking at her, ever.

She places her hand on his. It is warm under her cold fingertips. He puts his hand on top of hers. Warms it.

And then he leans towards her. She feels his breath on her lips before he kisses her.

Vanessa walks beside Linnéa along the gravelled track. Neither has uttered a word since they left Kärrgruvan.

Vanessa doesn’t know where to begin. She is so angry with Linnéa. She loves her so very much. And she is so very worried about her.

It seems to her as if Linnéa has decided to cut them all off. Vanessa, too. It has happened so quickly. Vanessa is not even sure that she can stop her. But she knows she must try.

‘Linnéa,’ she says, ‘we really have to talk.’

She hopes that the way she says it will signal how seriously she means it. Hopes, too, that Linnéa will take it seriously.

‘What do we have to talk about?’ Linnéa asks, and stops.

She tries to look untroubled but Vanessa picks up a hint of fear in her eyes. Not only that, she
feels
how frightened Linnéa is.

It is the Linnéa who dreads being abandoned who does all this. That Linnéa is a pain in the ass; she is a coward and stupid as well, but Vanessa loves her all the same.

‘I know you’re scared,’ Vanessa tells her.

‘What?’

‘Lay off. You can’t hide from me, don’t you get that?’

Linnéa turns her head away. Stares into the forest. Vanessa is cold with worry. Is Linnéa already too far gone? Is it even possible to reach her?

‘I don’t know what it’s like to feel the way you do,’ Vanessa says. ‘But I want to understand it. Because I love you.’

A lorry is driving along the motorway.

‘I know you have many battles to fight. And I want to fight them at your side. I want to help you. But you won’t let me in.’

She puts her hand on Linnéa’s arm.

‘Please Linnéa,’ she begs. ‘Please, don’t disappear. I want to help.’

Linnéa finally looks straight at her. Her eyes are lifeless.

‘You can’t,’ she says. ‘We’d better end it now. What’s the point of being together when it’s so fucking hard?’

* * *

When Linnéa hears her own voice, panic rises within her.

‘You can’t just say stuff like that,’ Vanessa tells her. ‘We will never be able to talk about anything that matters if you threaten to break up all the time.’

Linnéa wants nothing more than to put her arms around Vanessa, ask her for forgiveness. Forgive me for ruining everything; forgive me for being so fucking … me.

She sees how hurt Vanessa is and hates herself. And then it all becomes clear. Vanessa doesn’t deserve this.

However much Linnéa tries to behave better, be better, it’s useless. She will never succeed. The only outcome will be that Vanessa grows more like her. Vanessa will be wrecked.

‘I mean it,’ Linnéa says.

Vanessa shakes her head.

‘It isn’t true. You said yourself that you always try to mess up anything good that ever happens to you. But it’s not okay for you to behave like this. You hurt people. You hurt
me
.’

Her voice is sad and small. It makes Linnéa even more certain that she is doing the right thing. She makes Vanessa feel miserable. So, she must set her free. Because Vanessa apparently thinks that Linnéa is a riddle she can find the answer to, but the answer is too obvious for her to see it: Linnéa is fucked up. And always will be.

Make a clean cut. Then the wound heals faster.

‘Do you think this is good?’ Linnéa asks. ‘I don’t. I can’t cope with this in my life right now. We must focus on what is important.’

‘But this …’ Vanessa’s voice barely carries the words. ‘Us. That’s what’s important. Isn’t it?’

Linnéa forces herself to keep her eyes fixed on Vanessa, even though it is almost unbearable.

‘No. It’s not.’

She looks away. The others are coming along the road from Kärrgruvan. Evelina and Rickard, then a little behind them, Nicolaus and Anna-Karin. They will take care of Vanessa.

She pulls herself together, gathers the last of her strength to look at Vanessa again, ready to say that it’s all over, that it’s all for the best.

‘Then you can fuck off,’ Vanessa tells her.

Linnéa looks at Vanessa in shock. She has seen her angry before. But not like this.

Vanessa looks as if she can’t stand the sight of her.

This is Linnéa’s worst nightmare. And she herself has made it a reality.

‘I can’t be with someone who backs out the moment things get tough,’ Vanessa says. ‘I’m better off on my own, because at least then I can
be myself
. I hate being the person I become when you’re like this. And I hate the way you behave, as if I’m being unreasonable when all I want is for us to talk. It feels like I’m constantly running after you, trying to be helpful, and do the right thing and say the right thing and—’

‘I never asked for any of that,’ Linnéa interrupts.

‘Fuck you!’ Vanessa says. ‘I really wanted to … I’ve never …’

She falls silent and shakes her head. ‘It doesn’t matter any more.’

The others are getting closer. Linnéa must go. She couldn’t bear to see them now.

‘I’m sorry it came to this,’ she says.

Vanessa doesn’t reply.

Linnéa climbs up the railway embankment, crosses the tracks and hurries towards the motorway.

She is going home.

Home to her empty flat. Home, to a bed where the sheets still smell of Vanessa.

For every step Linnéa takes, she becomes more and more aware of the choice she has made. And that it is irreversible.

Ida stands in the dance pavilion. Alone at last. At last.

Nicolaus has returned. He has had a haircut. Olivia is on her way. Evelina and Rickard are witches. There are caves in the forest with beetles and pictures of Leffe. They all want to get hold of a box that seems to be super-important. Minoo has joined another circle now. And she’s making out with Gustaf.

Was that the first time they kissed? It looked a bit like it, so uncertain at first. Hesitant. But, later on, not hesitant at all.

Ida shouldn’t have watched them but she couldn’t stop herself. Even though every kiss they gave each other reminded her of every kiss she would never get. She kept hoping that one of them would break it off and say something like,
No, no, this isn’t right, it’s a mistake
.

It was even worse, in a way, when they walked away together. Gustaf put his arm around Minoo and she leaned against him. They looked as if they belonged together. Where were they off to? What were they going to do?

She mustn’t think about it any more. It’s pointless. She should concentrate on all the other things that have happened, all the things she’d heard about.

It is so hard to keep up. And it seems just as hard for the others, even though their time runs more slowly than hers.

Start with Minoo. She has become a member of a circle set up by the Council. She has joined because the guardians say that only that circle can save the world, and only if Minoo joins it.

Ida hasn’t a clue if that’s true or not. But she does know for a fact that even when the guardians tell the truth, they could still double-cross you.

They did that with their promises to her, after all.

Ida had hoped that, when Minoo went into the state that lets her observe magic, she would be able to see
her
, Ida. All the time, she tried to move to where Minoo was looking. But, no. Minoo clearly hasn’t become that much of a super-witch.

Ida badly wants to tell the other Chosen Ones about how the guardians tricked her; about the kiss they used as bait. What if that’s the piece of information that the others need to be able to make up their minds?

Suddenly, the greyness falls ahead of her, like a curtain being dropped. When it dissolves again, it is dark.

‘Hey, look, an old raincoat!’ a male voice says.

Ida sees two dancing beams of light. Torches. Rickard and Anna-Karin have one each. Rickard, whom some of them want to use as a stand-in for Ida. Just because he’s a metal witch and alive. But there must be snags in any plan based on the notion that Ida is replaceable.

The lights shine on rough stone walls and piles of old, dirty things. This must be the cave Anna-Karin had told them about.

‘Anyway, no beetles as far as I can see,’ Rickard says.

‘Don’t talk about them,’ another voice adds.

So, Evelina is here as well. Ida totally agrees with her. She doesn’t want to think about what might hide in the pitch-black spaces around them.

More cones of light come towards them. Ida sees Vanessa’s blonde hair. A little further along, Linnéa’s face with its dead-pale make-up seems to float free in the darkness. The fox’s eyes gleam in the torchlight. Nicolaus’s deep voice echoes against the stone walls.

But no Gustaf. And no Minoo.

Perhaps they’re together. Kissing. Doing much more. Who knows how much time has passed since she last saw them? They might well be married by now.

‘Here’s a tunnel!’ Anna-Karin calls out.

‘There’s another one here!’ Rickard swings the torch round and almost dazzles Ida. ‘And another one!’

‘We’d better have a look then,’ Nicolaus says.

His face and clothes are filthy. Ida realises that he must somehow have crawled through the narrow passage that Anna-Karin described. Hard to imagine.

Anna-Karin shines her torch at one of the gaping holes leading into the mountain.

‘Do we really have to?’ Evelina asks. ‘What I’m trying to say is, what do we hope to find? More beetles?’

‘What if we do this in pairs?’ Nicolaus suggests. ‘Anna-Karin and I will take the left-hand tunnel. Vanessa and Linnéa can have a look at the middle—’

‘I should probably go with Evelina,’ Vanessa interrupts.

‘Oh, yes, good,’ Nicolaus agrees. ‘Of course it’s better if the more experienced ones accompany the new members of the group.’

‘That’s not what she means,’ Linnéa says. ‘Vanessa and I have broken up.’

‘What?’ Ida exclaims.

The others say absolutely nothing.

‘It isn’t a problem,’ Linnéa continues. ‘I mean, it won’t affect the stuff we’re doing here. But I think it’s better if Rickard and I do this together.’

‘Let’s go,’ Vanessa says. She tugs at Evelina to go with her into one of the tunnels. Before she disappears, Ida has time to see that Vanessa’s eyes are shiny with tears.

Linnéa just stands there, chewing on one of her nails, looking untroubled. Ida cannot understand how she can give Vanessa up so easily. If Ida had been her, and if she had met anyone who looked at her the way Vanessa looked at Linnéa … then she would’ve done anything on earth to keep them.

Suddenly, Ida hears birdsong behind her. She turns and, as the grey mists drift away, sees a beautiful garden. The air is clear. In the distance, a blackbird is singing.

She looks around. The building overlooking the garden is the manor house.

She walks up the steps. The garden doors are closed and she can’t open them, of course. Instead, she peeps in through one of the tall windows.

Minoo stands in the middle of the floor of a large room, facing a tall man with tousled, greying hair. He comes across like one of those middle-aged men who refuse to accept that their glory days are over.

Minoo’s eyes are open but that weird expression is back. She’s in that state where she sees things that no one else can. Perhaps she will spot Ida this time? Ida waves with both hands but Minoo doesn’t seem to notice.

Now Minoo’s hair is moving, lifting as if in a wind. A wind that grows in strength, tears at their clothes and then dies away. Then all is still again.

The man claps his hands and, as Ida watches, Minoo seems to wake up. And she smiles at the man.

Ida goes back to check the doors. How hard can it be? If she can’t touch things, maybe she’s able to walk through them?

She takes a few steps back, then leaps at the door. She slides through with a triumphant shout.