The Keeper's Curse (43 page)

She had
no idea if he was happy to see her or not by the purely shocked
look on his face.

Now she
felt stupid, having no idea what to say to him, after running all
this way. Hopefully she at least looked better; would a few minutes
have given her enough time for the blotchiness to
dissolve?

“
Aren’t you afraid you’ll fall?” was all she said.

“
I’ve got a pretty good sense of balance. Don’t take this the
wrong way, but what the hell are you doing here?”

“
Why didn’t you come visit me in the hospital?”

“
Ah, answering a question with a question. Clever.”

Being
away from him a week had made Emmy forget how annoying he was.
“I’ll answer yours if you answer mine.”

He didn’t
move, and made no indication he would. It was amazing how
comfortable he looked on the edge of the balcony, his head leaning
to the right to look at her.

“
I wasn’t sure you would want to see me. Technically we don’t
ever have to speak again,” he said.

“
What? That’s stupid, why wouldn’t I want to see you? I
thought we were friends now.”

“
Friends, are we? Lovely. Look, I know I make your
other
friends very
uncomfortable and I didn’t want to cause a stir while you were
healing. Plus, I was slightly worried that if I went back the
Eldoir would return the favour and punch
me
in the face.”

“
He would never do that.” Why did defending him come as a
reflex to her? “Anyway, to answer
your
question, he’s sort of the
reason I’m here.”

“
Needed some intellectual stimulation?”

“
I broke the bond between us. His soul is still in me, but
everything else is gone.”

The
playfulness left his face. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. She
knew he wasn’t sorry at all, but he was unhappy because she was
unhappy, which was enough.

She began
to pull on her ringlets as she did when she got nervous. “I guess I
just wanted to see you. You’re kind of a jackass, but for some
reason you make me feel better.” She lowered her head. “I miss
you.”

She gave
him a moment before raising her head again. He sighed, looking up
at the sky while trying to keep his face expressionless.

“
I know why you’re doing this,” he said. “And you have no idea
how much I want to help you, but I can’t. For my own sanity I
can’t.”

Emmy took
a step closer to him. “What do you mean?”

“
Oh, bugger off, you know what I mean! I can’t just be here
for you because Crawford’s not around, and I don’t want to be your
friend, either.”

“
I can be more than your friend if you want,” she said. She
was scaring herself; was she ready for this? Did she really want
it? “I want you in my life, Cyrus. You’re the only one that makes
it better. I can tell you things, things I can’t even tell Jade or
Persy, and you listen. And I love listening to you, too. You
understand me in a way no one else does. I think if we gave this a
shot, you’d be the best friend I ever had.”

He rolled
his head to the side, looking impressed. “Nobody has ever said that
to me before.”

“
It’s true.” She closed the distance between them, sitting on
the ledge, a few inches from his head. “I can be your friend, or I
can be more than that if you want.”

“
Are you listening to yourself? You’re only here because of
the Eldoir and you want me to make you feel better.”

“
This isn’t about
him!
This is about you and me. I like you for you, is
that so hard to believe?”

“
Yes, actually, but that’s not even the point. How can you not
bring Crawford into this? How can I be with you knowing you’ll be
in split focus between the two of us every second of every day? In
the end it’ll just hurt us both, and I have a suspicion I’ll get
the worse end of it.”

Emmy
blinked hard and looked at her lap. She clenched and unclenched her
fists, not wanting him to see her impatience, knowing that was
probably what he wanted. Sometimes she wondered if he enjoyed
hurting her.

“
I’ll be brutally honest with you,” she said. “Yes, it’ll be
... hard for a while. But I can move on from him. I can have
feelings for two people. It happens all the time.”

She
reached out and let her fingers trail through his hair. It was
nothing like Breckin’s; it was smooth and fine and soft. He closed
his eyes and Emmy saw the muscles in his jaw clench. “Stop
it.”

“
What if this doesn’t break us apart, but makes us stronger?
If I can move on and get over this, with you by my side, I’ll be
happy. With you. I do want you and I do want to be with you.
Please, will you just give me a chance?”

His eyes
opened and this time he stared at her with a lot less animosity,
and a lot more uncertainty. “You really do want to try
this?”

“
Yes.”

He raised
a single black eyebrow, his eyes on her like he was trying to see
through her. It knocked the breath out of her. He almost looked
like an angel, albeit a fallen one.

“
Then can you promise me,” he said in a detached way like he
was making a business transaction. “That you will be with me, and
not act on anything else you might feel?”

“
Yes.” It didn’t sound like her, but she had said it, so it
had to have been.

“
Promise me.”

“
I promise.”

She
inclined her head to see his face straight on, to see the
expression. He looked at her funny, as if in mock
consideration.

And
finally, he gave her the sweet release she needed. “Then I guess we
have a deal.”

Emmy let
something out that was half a breath and half a laugh. “You mean
it?”

“
Yes, I think I just might.”

“
You’re sure?” she said, lowering her head closer to his
face.

“
Of course. Can you just imagine the look your friends will
give you when they find out? Your mother might disown you
altogether.”

“
Cyrus, can you please stop talking?” she said, an inch from
him now.

“
No problem.”

And she
closed the gap between them and kissed him. It felt weird,
backwards; her chin was right under his nose, and his eyelashes
gave her butterfly kisses on her neck. But he was there, like he
always was. He was there to protect her, there to save her life,
and he was there now. She made a promise to herself now she would
always be there for him, too.

Emmy felt
his head rise off the ledge to press her closer to him, making her
head spin. It was intoxicating, feeling his fingers on her face,
releasing all those pent-up emotions he had wanted to let out. She
only broke away from him when she needed to breathe, even though
all she wanted was more. She bent her head, curious to see his
reaction.

For half
a second he looked dazed, as if evaluating the situation, and then
he broke into a smile. It was the smile Emmy had envisioned so many
times but had given up on, not thinking it existed until now. And
she knew it was his real one, not only because it changed his
entire face, but because he had a single dimple on the right side
of his face. It was a thousand times more stunning than any mental
picture she had conjured, and made her feel a thousand times better
knowing she had been the one that put it there.

Chapter
29

Denial

de-ni-al

n.

: a psychological defence mechanism in which confrontation
with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the
existence of the problem or reality.
ⁱ

Chapter 30

Farewell

Have I really been here for three months?
Emmy wondered. She stood in front of the Ministrial’s Lodge
with her suitcase, which would be her living quarters for the next
couple of weeks until she finished her admission exam. Even though
she knew she wouldn’t fail, nervousness prickled at her
anyway.

The four
Woodworkers were present to wish her farewell, along with Alex,
Breckin, Cyrus, and Persephone.

“
You’ve got all your things, yes?” Vera said, playing around
with her hair. “Enough money? They provide you with food and drink
during your stay, but I’m sure you’ll want to wander around the
city and buy a few things.”

“
Mom, stop hassling her,” Jade said. She placed a hand on
Emmy’s shoulder. “We’ll visit you on your birthday. Next week,
right?”

Emmy cast
a dark look at Alex. “You told them?”

“
Yeah! I’ve already got a great gift picked out, but you’ll
have to wait and see!”

“
It’s a watch dog,” Jade said dispassionately. “And its name
is Rabies.”

She loved
it already.

“
And I’ll try to get you a new boyfriend,” Breckin said. “But
it probably won’t be a very good one given I only have a couple
weeks notice.”

“
Hey, anything’s better than what she has,” Persephone
said.

“
Really? We’re all going to talk about me like I’m not here?”
Cyrus droned. He ruffled Breckin’s hair, resulting in Breckin
casting him a murderous glare. “You can pretend I’m not here all
you want little brother, but I’m in your life now, and there’s
nothing you can do about it.”

“
Don’t call me that,” Breckin said, faking a gagging
noise.

Emmy was
enjoying the display when she noticed something across the street.
It was hard to see at first through all the pods whizzing by, but
when her eyes cleared, she saw her. Her mother, stocky and
dark-haired as always, stared right at her. She zoomed across the
street, but halted several feet from Emmy. Nobody said a
word.

Annalise’s face was puckered, worried how she was going to be
received. Emmy just sighed. She glanced between her mother, in her
gray jumpsuit and looking like she had aged ten years, over to
Alex. His expression was stoned, trying to hide his annoyance at
being ignored. They were her family. She had spent the last three
months mourning over the family she had lost, but these two were
still here. Alex and her mother were all that was left, and after
everything that had happened, she had finally learned to appreciate
them.

“
Aren’t you going to hug me?” Emmy said. “Everyone else
has.”

Elated,
Annalise closed the distance and wrapped her arms around her. Emmy
squeezed her, burying her face in her wild hair so similar to her
own.

“
I missed you,” Emmy said in a low voice so nobody else could
hear. “And I’m sorry.”

Annalise
pulled back and patted her cheek. “Don’t you ever be sorry. I’m the
one who’s sorry.”

“
I forgive you. Let’s just forget about it, okay?” Emmy
murmured.

“
I’d love to.”

“
Hey! Any love for the
other
kid over here?” Alex shouted.

Annalise
laughed. “My baby boy, I missed you too!” she exclaimed, showering
him in kisses Alex tried to jerk away from. Emmy smiled; when she
got home, she would be in her own apartment with her family. Her
new life would finally start.

The
Woodworkers were all greeting Annalise, leaving Emmy and Breckin a
ways off from the crowd.

“
Hey,” she said, bumping his shoulder. “Are we good?” Since
she couldn’t know how he was feeling anymore, she would have to
ask. It would take some getting used to.

He bumped
her back. “Of course we are.”

“
I never thanked you for taking the guard off Persy, by the
way.”

“
I should never have done it in the first place.” His eyes
bore into hers, and she knew he was trying to read her mind, before
realizing he couldn’t. “Whether you’re my Keeper or not, you’re my
friend, first and foremost. I should have trusted you.”

“
I don’t blame you –”

His eyes
glazed over, looking passed her. “But you should. For most people
I’ve noticed trust is just sort of a natural progression when you
get to know someone, something you eventually fall into. It isn’t
that for me. It’s like a stage I sort of ... stop at. I realize
that at some point, trust isn’t something that just happens, but
it’s a choice, something you have to consciously do. So I’m making
the choice to trust you.”

Emmy
wished there was something to say that showed how much that meant
to her. “I understand. It’ll take a while, but you’ll learn to
trust Persephone, and Cyrus, like I do as well.”

“
It’s you I trust.”

“
You think I’m making a mistake.”

“
I do, but you know what? I’m not even going to worry about
it.” His tone had lightened considerably. “Once you actually get to
know him, the raw animal magnetism will fade and you’ll break up
with him within a month. Possibly two weeks, since it’s
Cyrus.”