The Jaguar's Arranged Mate: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (5 page)

Once she was sure they were both dead, she rushed to her brother’s side. She nudged his head and whined.

Her brother didn’t move. Not at all. His chest didn’t rise or fall.

She threw back her head and roared with grief, anger, sadness, and fury. The Brutal Claws had killed him. They would pay dearly for that.

CHAPTER FIVE

  Beric approached Miera. In her grief, she was now in a half-human, half-were state. He shifted himself to human and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She was trembling. From anger or grief? He couldn’t tell.

Slowly, she became solely human. Brushing her brother’s hair back from his forehead, she asked in a quiet, numb-sounding voice, “What happened?”

“We were ambushed. There was no sign of them, no tracks, nothing. They tried to mask their scent even. We barely realized they were near before they attacked and it all happened so fast and…” Beric took a deep breath. Would the whole truth help or hurt her? “Your brother was very brave. He killed two himself. One of those… he saved my life.”

“He sacrificed himself for you?” Miera’s voice was hardly audible.

“Yes. I’m sorry. One sneaked up behind me. I hadn’t realized and… I never wanted him to. If I thought… It was just supposed to be a simple scouting expedition. If I thought we would actually engage them, I would have brought others with or not gone at all…”

“It’s all your fault Matthias is dead!” She flew at him, beating his chest with her fists. Better her fists than her claws.

He accepted the abuse, standing as still as a statue, not flinching away. Gradually, her blows came slower, and he covered her fists with his hands. He lowered their joined hands to their sides then pulled her close to embrace her. Rubbing her back, he murmured over and over again, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Miera huddled against him. When she took a shuddering breath, she stared up at him. The raw pain in her eyes, the tears stuck in her eyelashes… she looked so beautiful in her mourning.

Without thinking, he leaned down and kissed her. She didn’t hesitate to respond. Sometimes, after battle, the desire to rejoin those still living meant sex. While Beric wouldn’t dare go that far with her—not after what had happened with her brother—hopefully a few kisses wouldn’t be remiss, especially if she was willing.

So kiss her he did. Repeatedly. Soon, they were both panting, and the bulge in his pants was becoming uncomfortable. He had to force himself not to rub against her.

All too quickly she pushed him away. “I can’t… We shouldn’t…”

“I’m sorry.” He winced. Was that all he was going to say to her?

“I just…” She backed away from him, stared down at her brother, and then tore back toward the Teal Warriors’ compound.

Beric started after her. As much as he wanted to race after her, he couldn’t. With a heavy heart, he backtracked and picked up Matthias’s body. He wasn’t about to leave his comrade behind. It made for slow going, the trip back home, carrying the weight of a dead were-jaguar across his shoulders. Each step jarred him and his injured body.

By the time he reached the compound, he was ready to collapse. He handed Matthias over to the guards. As he was ushered toward their small hospital, he realized he didn’t see Miera’s car anywhere. She had fled.

Everything in the world was all twisted and dark, and maybe even joining their packs wouldn’t help any. Maybe they would all be like Matthias soon—dead and gone.

*

Beric hadn’t meant anything by his kisses, by his gentle touch. She knew that, understood that. But she didn’t want to be comforted right now. She didn’t want affection. She wanted to feel her rage. She wanted to lash out.

So Miera ran away. Maybe it was the cowardly thing to do, and she could already feel herself fill with self-loathing for leaving her brother’s body behind. But she couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him like that. And she didn’t want to see Beric either. His face would only serve to remind her of the battle and all she had lost. Matthias had been her only sibling, and while they teased each other constantly, they had loved each other, would do anything for the other.

And now he was gone.

She drove aimlessly. Returning home would mean she would have to explain what had happened to Matthias, and she just wasn’t up for that yet. After an hour, her car was running low on gas, so she pulled into a gas station. Inside, she paid, ignored the curious stare of the cashier who had noticed her torn and blood-stained clothes, and then rushed to the bathroom. She vomited. That had not been her first battle. Immediately after her first, she had gotten sick. This was different. This wasn’t from the blood or the violence or grief or anything like that.

No. She feared she knew why she was sick.

Miera exited the bathroom, made a quick purchase, and returned to it. It took less than a minute for the stick to give her the result she already knew.

She was pregnant.

Oh, no. This could destroy everything. All the planning for herself and for Beric. The unity of their packs. The only chance her people might have for potentially surviving the tank that was the Brutal Claws.

How this happened… there was no point in reflecting on that. And she couldn’t even think about not keeping the baby. Were-jaguars honored life above all—that is, innocent life. The babe was not at fault.

She closed her eyes and wept. When someone knocked on the door, she called out that she would be only a moment, quickly washed her face, and left. It wasn’t until after nightfall that she returned home, and she avoided everyone in favor of going to bed. Somehow, sleep easily came to her even though she had been certain that would not be the case.

***

Miera woke ten hours later but felt like she hadn’t slept for more than two. With a groan, she got out of bed, washed and dressed, and sought out her father. He was eating breakfast with a few of the council members.

“We need to have a meeting,” she said without preamble.

“Now?” He gestured for her to sit.

“Yes, now.” A part of her wanted to eat everything on the table—bacon and sausage, ham and cheese omelets, pancakes and waffles, toast and rolls—but another part of her knew that eating might not be such a good idea right now.

“You look ready to collapse.” Her father sniffed. “Do I smell blood?”

She winced. Her shower had reopened some of her wounds, and she had dressed them as best she could, not wanting anyone to help her since it would only lead to questions. “You do smell blood. Which is why we need the meeting.”

It only took twenty minutes for everyone to be assembled in the meeting room. A record.

Everyone sat except for Miera. She stood, holding onto the table, trying to fight against the nausea. For a few weeks now, she had been hungrier. She had thought that all of the hustle and bustle with the wedding prep plus added watches had increased her appetite. How naïve she had been.

“The Brutal Claws sent warriors near the Teal Warriors. Beric, my fiancé…” She stumbled over the word. “And Matthias went out on a scouting mission. They were ambushed…” Miera took a deep breath. She was a council member. She would be alpha one day. She had to control her emotions. She couldn’t break down. To some extent, she felt numb. Her brother had been taken from her, and now she was pregnant. Death and life… two sides of the same coin.

And Sierra… her heart ached at the thought that her brother had never made a move on the girl despite her trying so hard to get him to.

“Where is Matthias?” her father asked, his voice low.

She stared at him but almost felt as if she was seeing through him. “He was killed. They killed him.” Her voice sounded flat, almost unrecognizable.

Her father stood and stared each of the council members in turn. “This crosses the line. The wedding has to happen now. We have to stop worrying about flowers and start planning for war.”

“War.” Jericho Gravestone shook his head. “If you would have listened to me, we would have already been at war with them. Matthias would still be alive—”

Miera slammed her fist onto the table. “There’s no point in arguing about that now,” she snipped. “My brother is dead. Even if we had gone to war immediately after Thom Ross’s murder, Matthias might still have been killed. There’s no need to worry about the past. All we should focus on is the future.”

“Without the Teal Warriors, war is suicide,” Harry Peace said. “Your father is right. The wedding must happen now.”

She swallowed hard. They were right, she knew, and they did have to hurry. If Beric discovered she was pregnant before they were married, he might call it off. After they were wed, he would be stuck.

Stuck with her and a baby she did and didn’t want.

*

The day after Matthias had been killed, Beric called Miera repeatedly. She never answered her phone, so he tried her father.

“You and Miera must be wed at once,” the Blood Roses’ alpha said. “We need to strategize for war.”

“Yes, of course.” Beric cleared his throat. “I am sorry for your loss. He died with honor. If it weren’t for him…”

“Do you mean to tell me he saved your life?”

“He did.” Beric frowned. Why hadn’t Miera shared that detail with her father?

“He must have thought of you as a part of the family already then,” the alpha said gruffly. “We had the funeral pyre for him already this morning.”

“Oh.” Beric grimaced. “I wish I had known.” He would have attended it.

“Maybe it was for the best you didn’t, since the packs aren’t united yet. But we never should have delayed the wedding for so long. Miera … I think she wanted to make certain of your pack first before fully committing to you but now…she has become withdrawn. She doesn’t eat, and she avoids seeing anyone.”

“That’s why I called to speak with you. She hasn’t been answering my calls.” Instinctively, he knew the pyre wasn’t the only reason why she hadn’t answered.

“It might be time for you to go and see her, force her hand if you will.”

“I’ll do that right now.” Beric hung up.

The drive to the Blood Roses was quickly becoming a familiar one, and as soon as he arrived, Beric asked around for Miera. No one knew for certain where she was, and she wasn’t in her house.

There was a path leading outside their domain, and Beric followed it. He shifted his nose so he could smell better. Ah, yes. He recognized her scent immediately. Whether or not she was still here he didn’t know, but he hurried along it.

Not far ahead, he spied a natural bench from the bent bark of a tree. Miera was sitting on it, her eyes closed.

“Miera,” he said softly as he approached her, not wishing to startle her.

She stiffened, and her eyes snapped open. “Beric.”

A part of him felt badly for her. Here she was, grieving her brother and having to deal with preparing for war and resigning herself to a marriage without love. But another part of him was surprisingly angry with her. How could she sit here almost peacefully while her brother was un-avenged? More scouts had been killed in the past week from both clans. Their inaction would only serve to help the Brutal Claws.

“Everything is all set with our defense. We should get married. Right now.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

Was it his imagination, or were tears filling her eyes?

“What’s wrong?” He sat beside her. Should he wrap his arm around her? After a moment, he decided to risk it.

She jerked away as if his touch scalded her.

“I’m sorry.” He exhaled and covered his face with his hands. Then he pulled them away and ran a hand through his hair. “Does my presence bother you?”

“N-no…”

Maybe he reminded her too much of her brother and his last minutes. He couldn’t blame her for that. But he couldn’t help what had happened.

“There has to be something I can do to help you,” he said almost desperately.

“I don’t need help,” she said bitingly. She jumped to her feet.

His patience was being sorely tested. She had a right to be upset, yes, but he was only trying to help her. “Miera, what is going on with you?”

She started to pace, not looking at him, and he figured she wasn’t going to answer him. “Too much,” she finally whispered.

“Let me help you.” He wanted to join her, but he had a feeling she might not appreciate that so he remained sitting.

“I just need some time. To figure everything out.”

“Time is the one thing we don’t have.”

“I know. I realize that.” She took a deep breath and stopped pacing.

“Miera…” He stood and crossed the short distance between them. Before she could move away, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close for a hug.

She struggled against him, pressing her hands against his chest, trying to move away.

“No matter what’s going on with you, I’m here for you,” he whispered. He lowered his head toward hers, not to kiss her, just to get her to look at him. “I know our marriage is for our packs and not for ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends at least and maybe even something more later.”

“If there is a later,” she said dully. “We’re all going to die. We don’t have the numbers to survive against the Brutal Claws, not even combined. We’re doomed.”

He winced inwardly. “If we don’t stand up to them, we’ll definitely die. At least if we try, we will have honor—”