The Jaguar's Arranged Mate: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (11 page)

He couldn’t argue with that, although he wanted to. She needed to stay safe.

“I told you I’m not made of glass.”

“Can you blame me for wanting you to be careful?” he grumbled.

“Why do you care?” she whispered.

Her sorrow tugged at his heartstrings. “I’m not a monster. I will do my best to be a good husband.”

“And what do you think a good husband does? Keep his wife locked up in the house?”

He chuckled. “I don’t think a lock could stop you. You’d be climbing out the window, or you’d use your claw to destroy the lock.” Beric halted at a red light and glanced over at her. She was smiling.

“Yeah, a lock wouldn’t work. But I don’t plan on meekly obeying you.”

“We don’t have to have obey in the vows.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You offered that too easily. You don’t want to listen to me either.”

“Well, what’s fair for you is fair for me, right?”

“Right,” she agreed.

The light changed, and he kept on driving. He didn’t have a destination in mind, was just driving aimlessly.

“Well…” she started.

“Well what?”

“I… You don’t have to feel like… If there’s someone else…” She was fiddling with her fingers.

“There’s no one else. I haven’t been in a committed relationship before.” All of the girlfriends he’d had in the past hadn’t been that serious. He’d always known he would have to be selective when it came to his marrying, and the girls had just been for fun more than anything.

She toyed with the straw of her milkshake. Her silence grated on him. Why wouldn’t she talk about the guy?

“You sure I don’t have to worry about him trying to stop the wedding? Should I be on the lookout for swinging fists?” He had meant for it to come out lighthearted. He had failed.

“It was a one-time thing. You have nothing to worry about.” She stared out the window.

“Is he…”

“He’s not dead, if that’s what you’re alluding to. My father wants
me
dead though.”

“He knows.” No wonder she seemed so depressed. Here he was, giving her grief, and it sounded like her father was only piling it on more.

“Yeah. I almost thought he was going to name someone else as his heir, he was that pissed at me. I… If I could go back and change it so it never happened, I would, but what’s done is done.”

“Hey.” He reached over and grabbed one of her hands. “You can’t keep beating yourself up over it. You’re right. What’s done is done.”

To his horror, she started to cry.

“What’s wrong?” In a panic, he pulled over to the side of the road and parked. “Stop crying. Please.”

“I…” She shook her head, her whole body trembling, the word hardly audible.

He unbuckled his belt and reached over to unbuckle hers. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but he helped her onto his lap. It was a good thing his long legs required him to have the seat all the way back so the steering wheel wasn’t too much in the way.

“Hey now.” Beric rubbed her back. “What has you so worked up? If you don’t want us to talk about the guy, we don’t have to. I’m sorry if I upset you in any way.”

“It’s not you.” She sniffed and wiped her tears away. “It is, and it isn’t.”

“Okay,” he said as if that made perfect sense, all the while wondering what she meant.

“I just… I had an awful dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it? That might help.”

“You were there, and then you turned into Andreas… At least I think you turned into him. The things you said—”

“I didn’t say those things. It was just a dream.”

“A nightmare,” she corrected.

“I had some unpleasant dreams myself last night.”

She shifted slightly in his arms, and he sucked in a breath, hoping he wouldn’t embarrass himself. The friction was driving him wild. “What about?” she asked.

“Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

“You think I’ll get upset?”

He rolled his eyes but pulled her closer for a hug. “Considering that the baby killed me…”

“You’re afraid of the baby?”

“No, it was just a stupid dream! Besides, you killed me too.”

“Did we kill you together, or did you come back in between?”

“A zombie were-jaguar. That would be something.”

She pulled back, her eyes bright, her eyelashes still wet but no tears visible. “I just… Thank you.” Miera nestled her head against his chest.

It felt so right to hold her like this, rubbing her back. But then she shifted slightly, and her slightly rounded belly pushed into him. He tried not to care. He tried not to think.

And when he did that, he had a habit to do stupid things.

Like reaching down to lift her chin.

Like staring deeply into her eyes.

Like kissing her as if she was already his wife.

She responded immediately, parting her lips and pressing her tongue forward to open his. Their tongues met in a dance of fire that sent his every nerve on edge. Yes, he desired her. She was to be his wife after all. It would be worse, wrong almost, if he didn’t want her.

Something about her called to him on some level. Yes, her pregnancy was off-putting, but their passion was definitely there. Her fingers wound their way through his hair as their kisses deepened. He was growing so aroused, so hard, he couldn’t help rubbing against her a little, needing some friction.

Miera pulled away, breathless, and he wanted to groan. She started to climb into the backseat.

“What are you doing?”

“We need more room.”

“For…”

She held out her hand and gestured for him to join her. The gleam in her eyes had his cock throbbing. He climbed back.

“This is much safer,” she murmured as her fingers worked at his jeans.

“Safer than…”

She pushed him onto the backseat and eased his cock out of his pants. “Safer than road head,” she whispered.

It didn’t take him long at all to reach his climax. Miera knew just what to do to make him groan and pant.

Of course, he wasn’t about to be the only one pleasured. He kissed his way down her neck, palmed her breasts, and lifted her skirt. His fingers and lips returned the favor, and when she called out his name, Beric had one burning hope.

That they would be able to find a way for their marriage to be real.

He knew that rested on him more than her. If he could accept her baby, everything would fall into place.

Well, that and if they could handle the Brutal Claws.

“You look upset,” Miera commented as she fixed her clothes, her voice breathless yet. Her cheeks were still bright pink from when he had caused her to orgasm.

“Just worried about the future.”

“We’ll face it. We Blood Roses and you Teal Warriors. We’ll handle it together.”

She made it sound so simple, so easy. It wouldn’t be. Maybe the fence was helping to keep the Brutal Claws at bay, but it wouldn’t be for long. And who knew? The wedding, the joining of their packs, might be the catalyst that triggered the Brutal Claws into action.

CHAPTER NINE

Miera hated seeing Beric look so sad. When he had thrown back his head, his eyes closed, her name on his lips… he looked so handsome and strong and true. Now he looked just as handsome but also depressed.

He zipped up his jeans. “Tomorrow for the wedding?”

“Yes.” Relief flooded her. She hadn’t expected all of this to happen, for her to be such a mess with the crying and for them to be so intimate, but she didn’t regret it at all. They were together, and now, tomorrow, they would be married.

“I think it would be better if it was held at our compound.”

“That’s fine.” It made sense, what with their huge fence. She and the other Blood Roses could bring everything they needed for it.

“And we need to have a perimeter set up and defenses in place.”

“Yes.” Briefly, she explained the details of what he needed to wear and what time she thought the wedding would take place. If she and her people came over at eight in the morning, hopefully everything would be ready in two hours. To be safe, though, she suggested noon.

“That sounds like a plan. Bring along your strongest warriors. Just in case.”

“Of course.” That he feared the Brutal Claws might come churned her stomach. The milkshake had gone down so smoothly. She did not want it to come back up.

“Afterward, we can have a meeting with the council and determine who all should be added to it from my side, and how best to go about joining our packs for the safety of everyone.”

“I had already figured all of the council would be attending the wedding, so a meeting afterward is not a problem at all, but we can’t bring all of our warriors tomorrow.” For the most part, every were-jaguar was a fighter, but their best ones were incredibly strong. “We can’t leave those behind defenseless, and I don’t think it would be in our best interests to have all of our packs together yet, not until we have more set plans in place.”

“Yes.” He took a deep breath. “Everything will work out.”

“I hope so.”

Beric drove her back to her place, and she felt lonely and unsettled when he left. Maybe the pregnancy had caused the weird dream she’d had. And Beric was being great about everything.

But would he still feel the same if they were somehow able to get the Brutal Claws off their backs? If the dust settled with them all alive and safe from harm, would he still be able to overlook her child?

Her stomach clenched tightly, and she winced. Better to rest and take it easy. Maybe a quick nap before making sure everything was ready for tomorrow, her wedding day.

***

That night, Miera had an even worse nightmare. Thankfully, she couldn’t recall it when she woke, but the feeling of fright and sorrow refused to leave her.

They formed a car caravan and drove together to the Teal Warriors. Miera wore a white shirt and dark pants. She would find somewhere to get ready before the wedding once everything was set up.

The flowers, the decorations, everything was in place three hours later. She should be happy they had transformed the large warehouse into a proper place for a wedding—the warehouse the only spot large enough to hold everyone, considering she had refused the idea of having it in the mess hall—but the feeling of foreboding wouldn’t go away.

“Come on now. Everything is just right, and they,” Lisa nodded to a cluster of their girlfriends, “can hold down the fort to make sure it stays that way. We need to get the bride ready now.”

We should’ve just eloped.
It would’ve been easier, by far a lesser hassle, but in order for their people to be able to come together, to form one pack, they needed a lot of witnesses. Plus, a wedding would take their minds away from the worry and fear they were living with. For a short time, they could pretend their lives were peaceful, that they were safe.

They need this, more than just the joining of the packs for survival. They need to believe that life continues, that we are not putting, should not put, our lives on hold.

Meekly, she followed Lisa to a house. A couple lived there, both wonderful were-jaguars. The wife, Helen, offered her shower and house at their disposal.

With hot water pouring down on her from the powerful shower spray, Miera thoroughly washed her body, scrubbing hard, wishing her belly wasn’t quite so big already. A vapid, silly thought and she immediately regretted it. How could she be vain? There were so many more important matters to deal with. First, she had to marry Beric. Then, they had to join their packs. Set up defenses mutually. Find a way for them to protect themselves. Strategize for when the Brutal Claws came. Continuing scouting so that they wouldn’t be caught unawares. Try to survive.

And then, if the dust ever settled, she would have to worry about her marriage and whether or not she could truly make Beric happy with the ready-made family she was carrying with her.

Can’t forget giving birth, too.
She sighed. She had always intended to be a mother, but she hadn’t expected it to happen so soon, and out of wedlock.

Well, technically, I’ll give birth after I’m married, but the babe isn’t with my husband…

The thought of whether or not they would be able to have a traditional wedding night had her playing special attention to her breasts. Soap cascaded down her skin, washed away with the warm water. Feeling Beric, pleasuring him… It had felt wonderful, but she wanted more than just sex from him. She wanted true intimacy, the kind she suspected only came from love.

Stop thinking so much.

She climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Lisa blow dried her hair while Helen painted Miera’s nails. Some of these details she hadn’t cared about, but Lisa insisted.

“You only plan on getting married once, right? Do it up right. You can’t ever regret that.”

She had plenty of regrets as it was. Miera sure didn’t need another one, but did they really have to pluck her eyebrows too? She wasn’t used to being pampered and fussed over. Yeah, she was the heir, but she had to abide by the council. She wasn’t superior to her people in some of the ways other alphas were.

Miera wrinkled her nose at the sight of her gown, lying on Helen’s bed. It was tight and reminded her of a mermaid fin. “What happened to the one I picked out?”

“It was too hippie-ish,” Lisa said.

“You couldn’t let me have final say?”

Lisa sighed. “Try this one on at least. If you don’t like it, yes, I brought along the hippie dress too.”

The dress was a little too tight, but Miera squeezed into it, and Lisa somehow managed to zip her all the way.

“There,” her best friend said, clapping her hands. “Do you like?”

Miera lifted the skirt so she wouldn’t step on the dress as she moved to Helen’s mirror. “No. No way. I can’t breathe, and it’s too… too…”

“You just look like you’re a little bloated.”

“Just bloated,” Helen agreed. “Nerves, maybe?”

“Or like you had too much to eat.”

Miera sighed. “Helen, do you know I’m pregnant?”

“Not until I saw you wrapped in your towel.”

“And what do you think about me for it?”

“It’s not my place to think—”

“Please.” Miera laid a hand on her shoulder. “You weren’t prepared to learn that I was pregnant. Beric hasn’t told your people.” She glanced at Lisa. “My father knows, and a few others…” The council members had been as furious as her father had been, but they were more forgiving since the wedding was still on. Her father had barely looked at her, had forced her to be the one to tell them. Not that she would have wanted him to explain for her. “But for the most part, my people don’t know. Everyone will know soon, but I don’t think parading down the aisle to announce it is the best way to go about it.”

Helen smiled then covered her mouth as if to try and hide it. “I guess not.”

Lisa humphed. “You still look good in it, I say.”

“It’s too bad you didn’t wear it when you eloped with Kevin.”

Her best friend’s eyes twinkled. “Yeah… It’s funny how everything turned out, you know? I got to plan your wedding, and since I ended up eloping, I’ll never have to plan mine. I’m glad!” She giggled. “Being a wedding planner while a war is going on in the background is not easy.”

“The war hasn’t come yet,” Miera grumbled. “Now get me out of this so I can breathe.”

Both Lisa and Helen had to help her take it off. The hippie dress was a lot more forgiving. The gentle slope of it, the wide arms, the flowing skirt all helped to conceal her growing midsection. The bottom few inches were all lace, as were the cuffs of her trailing sleeves.

“Ooh, la, la!” Lisa giggled as she helped to adjust the plunging neckline. “Your girls are growing!”

Miera laughed, but really she just wanted to cover up. Better yet, to already be married. For the meeting to be over. For tomorrow to come. Maybe she wasn’t cut out to be heir. There was so much pressure on her right now, and she felt ready to crumble.

“Are you feeling all right?” Helen asked. “You look a little ill. Would some green tea help?”

“Please.” It might help settle her nerves, and right now, she needed to make sure she didn’t vomit all over her wedding gown.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Lisa asked after Helen left the room.

“I just want everything to be perfect, you know? But life isn’t a fairy tale. It isn’t rainbows and sunshine.”

“Hey, married life isn’t so hard.” Lisa fiddled with Miera’s sleeve before stripping out of her clothes and donning her navy blue matron of honor dress.

“You sound so glum, though.”

“It’s just…” Lisa sighed. “Kevin’s changed so much after we got married. The days beforehand were amazing. Beyond amazing. Now? Not so much. I don’t know if it’s something I said or did.”

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“Of course! But… well…”

“Talking has never been an issue with you before.”

“It’s just…” She shrugged. “Never mind. Don’t worry about me. Today is about you.”

“Me and Beric.” Would he like the decorations? She had only helped with the party planning because it helped to bide the time until Beric and the Teal Warriors finished their fence.

Helen returned with the green tea, and it was so crisp and refreshing going down. Miera was drinking more of her diet lately—green teas, milkshakes of all kinds, and more. Not being able to drink coffee didn’t bother her like it did some pregnant women. She might like the smell of it, but she didn’t like the bitter taste, and no amount of milk or creamer ever got the bitterness out of her mouth. Despite her ravenous appetite, she wasn’t gaining weight too quickly.

“Time for your veil!” Lisa clapped like a giddy schoolgirl, and she and Helen fussed until it was just right. Her hair had been curled and pinned in an updo. Would there be time for her and Beric to sleep together tonight? Would he desire her when he saw her naked, pregnant belly and all?
Maybe it would be best to just go on as we did yesterday and wait until after I deliver for the consummation.

“Do I need anything else?” Anxiety was rolling over Miera in waves. She just wanted to hurry up and get this done with right this moment.

“Just this.” Lisa held up a silk garter.

“No.”

“But—”

“No.” Miera actually stomped her foot. “We are not doing that.”

With how she felt toward Beric, wanting him desperately, it wouldn’t do for him to have his hands up her skirt in front of everyone, especially with her being pregnant. Could she be falling for him? She had been trying to build up walls to protect herself should he reject her, but now that they were going through with this, she wanted them to work, not just for their people, but for them. A real marriage. One based on respect and admiration and even love.

But how could she worry about that now? Later. If they survived this. Maybe then they could try. Just how many of them would make it? Would any of them? Was all of this just a waste of time?

“Breathe, Miera, breathe!” Lisa was standing by her side, rubbing her back, and Helen was trying to hand her a glass of water.

Miera smiled at them and gently pushed them away. “I’m fine.”

“You look like you saw yourself.” Helen pursed her lips.

Miera frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Your doppelganger. It’s supposed to foreshadow… Ah, well, you look like you saw a ghost.” Helen placed the glass on the nightstand and fiddled with the neckline of her dress.

Doppelgangers. Seeing one meant you were likely to die and soon.

“No.” She sighed and tried to smile. “I didn’t see myself or a ghost.”
Just have a really bad feeling in my gut that we’re all going to die soon. Totally not the same thing.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Lisa asked. “You went really white there for a minute. If you need to sit—”

“I’ll be fine. Let’s just go. All right?”

The two women looked at each other. They took an arm and escorted Miera out of the house and over to the warehouse. Although she had helped oversee the decorations, the finished product took her breath away. Outside, there were so many flowers and potted bushes.
So full of life.
Helen and Lisa had her standing to the side so no one could see her. Lisa communicated with a wave of her hand to someone, and music started. Quick as lightning, she snatched a small clumping of flowers for herself and a huge bouquet that she thrust to Miera.