The Irresistible Bundle (101 page)

THE SCENE

"Stop that" V chides. My fingers pause midway down to drumming the table. V looks slightly chagrined.

"Sorry" I mutter. I can't help it. I feel restless and it translates to transferring the energy elsewhere. I want to pace in V's office but I know it'll only piss him off. We're both on edge. Jaxon is a fucking nuisance and Nic is only encouraging his outlandish behavior.

A fucking scene!

Carina and Jaxon are doing a scene tonight at the estate. Members are throwing lavish gifts at Nicholas trying to get a guaranteed spot into that private room. Carina and Jaxon are performing for a large group but it isn't going to be open for just anyone to walk by and watch. Fortunately Nic's arranged for our group to get front row seats.

V exhales slowly. He leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. I want to get up and hold him but I'm too tense to provide him comfort. All I really want to do is punch the shit out of something until I feel better.

"I think this'll be good for her" he states. My eyes widen in complete disbelief. That is the complete fucking opposite of what I think.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself" I chortle. He's fucking deluding himself if he believes this is going to be just another performance between them.

V nibbles his lip somewhat lost in thought. He always does that when he wants to carefully articulate what he's thinking. Not me. When it's just me and V, I prefer to communicate without the fucking filter. We always have to watch what we say while working but this time private time together shouldn't require thought-out speeches and delicate words.

"Am I being too much of an optimist if I hope this scene gets it out of their systems so they can move forward?"

Even my laugh sounds sarcastic. "Well the realist in me thinks this might spark something more. Either Nic is going to love what they do and want more from them or the crowd might just demand it...."

"Or" V quietly adds, "They might forget why they didn't work out and fall back into the friends with benefits routine."

"Not if we have anything to do with it" I snarl. No fucking way are we going to enable this bullshit. Nic wants the scene for the benefit of his club - fine. But that's all he's getting. V already has Nic on punishment; no nookie from Troublemaker for a while. Nic was fucking pissed, yeah that felt good!

"Let's just get through tonight" V sighs. I swear the strain from their upcoming scene is more stressful on us than those first weeks while we were opening up
Scandalous.
"The summer's almost over and the girls won't be around the estate as much anymore."

"What if it all goes to hell tonight?" The words are like razorblades scraping my throat. I'm too much the realist. Several scenarios run through my mind and none of them are about Carina and Jaxon in bed. My chest aches with the possible outcomes. So much could go wrong; so little could be right. There's no way Carina could do this scene and not be affected in the least. Jaxon is potent in every sense of the word. V might be immune but I certainly am not. The man is completely fuckable and if I wasn't in a committed relationship I'd do everything in my power to get him to give into me. Yeah we mix things up a bit but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that V would never be okay with me and Jaxon going at it. He can barely tolerate the thought of Carina being intimate with him.

The seesaw of possibilities teeters in different directions. By some miracle Carina could just do the scene and come to bed with us as if it was just another day. But that's a fucking joke. Even I don't think that's in the realm of possibilities. Another miracle would go along the lines of Carina and Jaxon realizing there's no more passion or chemistry between them. That's even more absurd to think up. The seesaw would veer more towards the scenario of the two having hot, passionate sex and becoming close again.

Or it could make Carina question everything... Us. Him. I mean, I would.

What if the tables were turned? What if Carina and V asked me to have sex with someone I'd been lusting over for an eternity? Not only would I practically salivate at the possibility but I'd also question their commitment to me. Was I not enough? Were they tiring of me?

Is that what Troublemaker is thinking about all of this?

"If it all goes to hell" V snaps me out of my miserable thoughts. "Then we walk through fire... we go through the foulest bowels... we do whatever it takes to make things right."

I blink back the tears. His voice is passionate, fierce; he means every fucking word. V would do anything, go through anyone, to keep us together. "Then let's do this" I whisper. V reaches out for my hand and I cling to it like a lifeline. Together, we can get through anything.

~

"What kind of setup is this?" Griffin mutters from his seat. The room in which the scene is going to take place looks a little boring, somewhat ordinary. Nic assures us that Jaxon has a game plan and that it's solid. Carina doesn't know the details because they want genuine reactions from her. And damn how I love and hate that concept. Coming from a business aspect and as a viewer it's a brilliant plan. But being one of the boyfriends of the woman enacting the scene I hate the fucking possibility. Carina's very responsive, beautifully vocal, in her lovemaking. It's just as wonderful to watch as it is to be engaged with her. It's why Nic is such a greedy bastard. He wants a piece of Troublemaker whenever we're willing to share because she truly does have a pussy of gold.

"It looks like a bedroom" someone replies from the row behind us. Griffin shrugs indifferent to the background scenery. The people are the important factors and it's only a matter of moments before things get started.

I sneak a peek at my cousin loving the excited gleam in her eyes. V and I talked in depth about bringing her onboard to help oversee the clubs. Business is good and we don't want to continue overextending ourselves. Add the new nightclub at the estate and its professional suicide not to bring someone we trust in to help balance things out. I honestly wasn't sure how receptive Leticia was going to be regarding the sex club but she's taken it all in stride. She's eager to learn all aspects of the businesses and it can only help her better develop professionally.

"There's stud muffin" Andrea jokes. My lip curls; I don't really want to laugh about it but that's an apt description. Jaxon's jeans hug him perfectly. It's hard to tear your eyes away from his nice ass and bulging front. By the time I'm done ogling him, he's placed some random items on a small table and admired a framed picture that I somehow missed. V's breath hitches getting my attention. He too is noticing the small details we initially missed.

Carina steps through the door capturing everyone's attention. She looks beautiful in her white winter coat. It seems rather ridiculous to be wearing one when she's only going to a scene but I'm happy she's done it. It's just another layer he needs to peel off before getting to her treasured goods. Members behind us lean forward eager for the action to begin. I want anything but...

"Do you see that?" V mumbles as he motions over to Carina. Her eyes devour every detail of the room as if she recognizes it. Possibilities flutter through my mind but I refuse to believe that Jaxon would have the balls to go to any depths to try and win her back.

My hand grips V's as Jaxon asks Carina to dance with him. It makes no fucking sense why Nic is allowing this bullshit. Nothing is going according to a typical scene. The people behind us fidget wanting more sex and less romantic notions. Jaxon's warm voice wraps around us as he sings to Carina while they slow dance. The fucker can be romantic when he wants to be. Too bad he thinks more with his dick than anything else.

V's grip tightens making me slightly flinch. Things are barely starting and our apprehension level is already sky-high. My muscles tighten in a fight-or-flight reaction. My brain screams to get the fuck out of there but my heart demands to remain in place. We have to see this through no matter what happens.

Sometimes you can see something happening even before things go into motion. Managing several nightclubs you see all kinds of fucked up shit. Some of its funny as hell but other times it fucking leaves scars. It's easy to predict when the drunken chic is going to make a complete fool of herself or the asshat who's had one too many and downed them too fast only for it to come right back up. Those you see coming a mile away. It's akin to being the helpless bystander watching an accident unfold right before your eyes. You might've been able to prevent it, but too little too late.

Watching Jaxon have his way with Carina feels like the same fucking thing. V and I sit there paralyzed as he plays her body like a fine-tuned instrument. He knows every string to pluck, every button to push, every breath to take. He commands Carina like a champion making her come not only once but several times. Troublemaker looks radiant on display for everyone... and maybe if it were Nic onstage with her; my chest would be puffed out and I'd be strutting around all proud boasting that it was our girl there making everyone all hot and bothered.

Instead I stare unblinking at them. I don't want to miss a single thing. Technically, V and I have had Carina longer than Jaxon but at the moment that makes no difference in the world. He's so in tuned to her body; he knows her so well that it seems like they're seasoned lovers. I know better. My brain tries to rationalize what my heart refuses to do.

But then you never count on the wildcard. It's always thrown in when you least expect it, taking everyone by surprise. I always hate getting blindsided by a fucking linebacker that I've failed to account for. That shit always hurt. But that kind of pain has nothing on this gut wrenching agony. I've never felt impotent in my life but I can unequivocally say that it's the first time I've ever truly experienced it. Not only does the blonde sexy fucker have mind-blowing sex with
our
girl but then he decides to up the ante by slow dancing with her before the sex and serenading her after the sex. The bastard is going for the jugular.

"It's almost over" V chokes out. I look over to him numb and shaken to the core. Tears leak from his eyes as they do from mine. How had this gone from hot sex to getting our fucking hearts ripped out?

Carina lays on the bed with her back to us. Her shoulders shake but she remains silent. We feel her pain and distress. I know what's going through Troublemaker's mind. She's warring with the guilt of immensely enjoying herself from the scene while fighting whatever she feels from Jaxon's moving words. The fucker would've convinced me if it wasn't for the fact that he was trying to take our girl.

Nic makes eye contact with us saying so much without any words. I'd seen how much he'd enjoyed the scene as it unfolded but the aftermath is equally devastating. The moment Jaxon finishes the song Nic scoops Carina up and whisks her away. V and I forget everyone else in the room. We take off in close pursuit of them. I glance over my shoulder silently daring Jaxon to follow. V can situate Carina while I handle Jaxon. My body screams for retribution. I can sacrifice three minutes. That's all it'd take to pummel him to oblivion.

My feet take me away from the room and all its occupants. No one else matters but for our dark-haired beauty. She needs to know that everything is okay between us. I couldn't fathom having an open relationship if this is the shit we'll deal with every time afterwards. But this isn't an ordinary occasion and she seems just as distressed as we are.

I don't know how we get to the suite. I couldn't tell you if we waited for the elevator or if we ran up the stairs. All I recall is leaving the mess behind us and stepping foot in the suite. V dismisses Nic with a few simple words. I don't wait for such pleasantries. We strip in seconds and I step into the shower getting to her first. I wrap my arms around her shaking body trying to take the pain away. Her sobs gut me; each broken wail ripping another hole. I hold her tighter trying to contain the avalanche of despair threatening to bury us.

"We've got you love" Valentino's quivering voice whispers against us. His embrace grounds us; soothes us beneath the streaming water. The heavy weight in my chest slowly lifts as Carina melts against our bodies. Words aren't necessary. All we need is each other.

HELPLESS

How can the passing of a few months feel like a lifetime? So much has happened in such a short time. It's fucking terrifying to feel so helpless, so completely and utterly useless. The barrage of emotions assaulting me is overpowering. Guilt suffocates me. I'm drowning in despair. It's all debilitating. My knees buckle under the weight of these emotions. She lies there unconscious on a bed, unaware of our desolation.

I know how they feel. I'm envious because of it. Diego acted on instinct, protecting his sister and wanting to kill the bastard who did this to her. Richard won't let anyone see pictures of the aftermath of Diego's handy work. I really wish he would because it wouldn't be guilt flowing through my veins but utter pride. My hands itch to finish what Diego started. I welcome the bloodlust seeking the right to avenge her.

Instead I watch motionlessly as everyone in this room falls apart piece by piece. Each word that Diego and Richard utter is like a fucking axe chopping away every part of me... of us. Valentino reaches out for Desirae as she falls apart at the seams. I don't know if everyone else can see it but Nic and V do. Whatever was holding her together is quickly coming undone. Desirae shatters into a million pieces right before my eyes and I can't seem to move forward to help her. V goes into automatic savior mode. He's always the knight trying to save the princess; always the hero keeping the monsters at bay.

Smash.
A chair shatters into pieces as it slams into the wall. I feel like that chair, broken into un-repairable fragments. Skin and bone making contact against the wall gets my attention. Jaxon is going to break his hand at the rate he's going and it doesn't look like he intends to stop. My body moves toward him without a second thought. Someone needs to stop him and the girls won't be able to pull him back. I wrap my arms around his tense, lean body and pull him away from the concrete punching bag. He fights me and I welcome it. Just like Diego and Jaxon I need an outlet. I squeeze him in a vise-like grip refusing to let go until he calms down. The more he struggles the more I hold onto him. Jaxon is losing his shit, just like the rest of us. He just shows it in a different way. He expends his negative energy while I smother it; otherwise I'll explode and there'll be hell to pay. Don't even give a shit that Pete's in the hospital... There better be guards there protecting his ass because if I get even a moment alone with him he'll wish he hadn't survived Diego's ass whooping.

Finally. Jaxon collapses against me exhausted with his outburst. I cling to him knowing we're all lost adrift this storm. The haunted looks in Richard and Diego's eyes scare the ever-loving shit out of me.
She survived. Let's start there.
I continue to chant in my head but who am I fucking kidding? Survivors and victims may heal physically from an attack but not always mentally or emotionally. Carina is strong. She'll get through this. She has to.

"I know" I whisper trying in vain not to let my voice crack. My hands fist Jaxon's shirt, clinging to his trembling body. "I know what you're feeling."

"It's my fault" Jaxon whispers in despair.

His words flay me. We're all carrying the burden of guilt; all feeling accountable in some way. I pull Jaxon's face into my shoulder allowing him to sob against me. Even if I had the right words to say they'd be spoken to deaf ears. It doesn't matter that I'm at a loss of words; all we need is the comfort of each other.

I don't know how this happened. As if the despair and guilt aren't enough now I'm consumed with confusion and grief. I'm holding on with all my might to the only anchor available to me. It's not the anchor I seek. It's not the anchor I need. But it's the only one keeping me in place. Why can't he see that? It's not the time or place to battle with insecurities or resentment toward his knight-in-shining-armor tendencies.

I watch with a sense of detachment as V holds Desirae the way he should be holding me. My subconscious chides me for being an insensitive ass but I can't hold back the floodgates of emotions. The dam barely holds it back. As the hours pass the cracks in the foundation allow the wall to slowly crumble. My body seeks comfort from the closest source; one that seems to need me just as much. Our touch is intimate but not sexual. If I let go of Jaxon I'm afraid he'll obliterate.

It's the one thing V and I missed that the rest of them didn't. They've all seen Carina get hauled into the ambulance. Just the thought of those images fucking haunts me. It must be annihilating Jaxon from the inside out.

Jaxon's touch is warm and comforting. His arms aren't the ones I yearn to have wrapped around me but they'll have to do because I'm fucking terrified. Just last night we had everything. Carina was happy, healthy, and safe. It's paralyzing to realize how much can change in just 24 hours. I went from having V and Carina in my arms and in my bed to now holding onto Jaxon and yearning to close this gap between my lovers.

After years of longing to have something with Valentino, I finally get it. I can't lose it already. The bonds that tether us can't be so frail. My chest aches with the heartbreaking possibilities. I'm not the insecure kind but seeing Carina unconscious a few feet away from us and feeling like V is a million miles away, obliterates the supposed stronghold we have. There are kinks in our armor that I wasn't even aware of. Our open relationship had provided me a false sense of security that we were invincible as a threesome. Figured no one could penetrate our fortress but I never counted on devastating circumstances to weaken our foundation.

Everything is surreal. I'm drowning with no life preserver in sight. No matter how bad the storm V has always been my lighthouse... but now all I can see is utter blackness. We've lost our connection and I'm adrift in this hurricane of pain and desolation. Jaxon is no substitute for either of my lovers. He'll never compare to V and he can't replace Carina.

Minutes turn into hours and V is still as far away from me as Carina is. That hurts. I resent his heroic actions when it costs us this.

"You two" Leticia snaps her fingers at Jaxon and me. She motions between the three of us. "There's another shower in this wing. Take advantage. I promised to watch over Carina and I will. Go clean up. Nicholas should be here shortly with the other sofa bed."

I won't argue with her. When Leti gets bossy she gets mean. I rigidly stand from the loveseat and grab my bag. I glance between the bed and the sofa praying that V is already standing.

"No" Valentino's sharp voice makes my heart explode. "We shower together" he nearly growls. Leticia's eyes widen at the sight of a surly Valentino. She looks between us not understanding the sudden hostility.

"I wasn't planning to shower with him" I hotly reply. Does he seriously fucking think that?

"But you would've if he followed" V accuses. That fucking hurts. All the years I pined away for my best friend must equate to nothing the moment some blonde-haired stud vies for my attention.

I stalk out of the private suite disappointed and upset with him. V silently walks beside me but feels a million miles away. Our hands are close enough to touch but don't. V's sharp words pierce my already tattered chest. The silence is smothering. I hate fighting with V; especially when I have the right to be upset with him and not vice-versa.

"Talk to me" I plead giving in first.

V spins on me, catching me by surprise. His aggressive stance is sexy yet terrorizing. "We're supposed to be comforting each other" his vulnerable voice is my undoing. "It fucking hurts to see you holding him."

My eyes widened in bafflement. What the... I don't think I need to defend myself considering he's had Des in his arms all evening but I do anyways.

"But you never let him go after that" V petulantly replies. I bite the inside of my cheek. V's pouty expression makes my skin tingle but I still want to smack the scowl off his face. He's supposed to be the level-headed one in the relationship. This tantrum act is completely unlike him.

"And you never let go of Desirae" Maybe it's a petty thing to point out, especially since I understand why V was holding onto her so tightly but still. "I needed someone too" I gruffly whisper.

V's shoulders slump in defeat. "I'm sorry" his voice cracks. "I need you" he confesses.

It's what I need to hear. I wrap my arms around his muscular frame and inhale his unique scent. "I love you" I press my forehead against his cherishing the contact. I'd been missing this for the last few hours. "There's no one else for me but you and Carina. No one"

"Thank God" V trembles. He pulls his head back allowing me to see the emotions roiling through him. They aren't pretty but they provide me with the silent assurance we need. "I'm not the jealous kind but seeing you and Jaxon like that fucking shredded me. Don't get any ideas... I'm done sharing, and I sure as hell won't ever agree to you and Jaxon."

God I love his possessive tone. V and Carina are more than enough. "Okay" I whisper secretly thrilled that he's done sharing. I brush my lips over his mouth earning a groan with the contact. Our skewed world rights itself.