Authors: Julie Kagawa
Choices
In my dream, he was kneeling in the dead grass beneath a great iron tree, head bent, dark hair hiding his face. Around us, a swirling gray fog blanketed everything beyond a few feet, but I could sense another presence here, a cold, hostile being, watching me with cruel intelligence. I tried to ignore it as I approached the figure beneath the tree. He was shirtless, his pale skin covered in tiny red wounds, like punctures, down his spine and across his shoulders.
I blinked. For a moment, I could see the glistening strings of wire sunk into his body, coiling up and vanishing into the fog. I quickened my pace, but with every step I took, the body under the tree moved farther away. I started to run, stumbling and panting, but the fog was drawing him back into its possessive embrace, claiming him for its own.
Desperately, I called to him. He raised his head, and the look on his face was beyond despair. It was utter defeat, hopeless
ness and pain. His lips moved wordlessly, then the fog coiled around him and he was lost.
I stood there shivering as the mist grew dark, and the other presence hovered at the edge of my consciousness. As the dream faded and I sank into oblivion, I could still see his final words, mouthed to me in desperation, and they chilled me like nothing else.
Kill me.
Â
C
ONSCIOUSNESS RETURNED
slowly. I clawed myself up from sleep, feeling dizzy and confused as the world came into focus. Thankfully, I recognized my surroundings almost immediately. Leanansidhe's mansion: the foyer, if the huge fireplace was any indication. I lay on one of her comfortable sofas, dressed in slacks and a loose-collared shirt. Someone had taken off the slinky business suit, and of course I'd left my heels back in SciCorp.
“What happened?” I murmured, struggling to sit up. A blinding flare of pain stabbed up my arm and shoulder, and I gasped.
“Easy, Princess.” Suddenly Puck was there, pushing me back down. “You lost a nice amount of bloodâit made you woozy. You passed out on our way here. Just sit still for a minute.”
I looked at the thick gauze wrapped around my arm and shoulder, a faint pink stain coming through the bandage. It hadn't even hurt until now.
A knot tightened in my stomach as hazy memories pushed their way to the surface. My throat closed up, and I suddenly felt like crying. Pushing those feelings away, I took a shaky breath and focused on the present.
“Where's Ironhorse?” I demanded. “And Grim? Did everyone get out okay?”
“I AM FINE, PRINCESS.” Ironhorse, back in his more
human form, peered over the couch at me. “A LITTLE LESS THAN WHEN WE STARTED, BUT I WILL LIVE. MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT I COULD NOT PROTECT YOU FULLY.”
“Really?” The door opened and Leanansidhe entered the room, followed by Grim and two brownies bearing a tray with mugs. “I would have a few more regrets than that, darling. Meghan, dove, try to drink this. It should help.”
I struggled to sit up, gritting my teeth against the pain. Puck knelt beside the couch and eased me into a sitting position, then handed me the mug the brownies offered. The hot liquid smelled strongly of herbs, making my eyes water. I took a cautious sip, made a face, and swallowed it down.
“Kimi and Nelson?” I asked, forcing down more of the stuff. Gah, it was like drinking potpourri in hot water, but I could feel it working as it slid down my throatâa warm drowsiness stealing through my system. “Are they here, too?”
Leanansidhe swept around the couch, trailing smoke from her cigarette holder. “Haven't checked in yet, darling, but I'm sure they're fine. They're smart kids.” With a flourish, she sat in the opposite chair and crossed her legs, watching me over her cigarette. “So, before that kicks in, dove, why don't you tell me what happened in there? Grimalkin told me some of it, but he wasn't there for the whole operation, and I can't get a cohesive story from this pairâ” she waved her cigarette at Ironhorse and Puck “âbecause they're too busy worrying over you. Why couldn't you get the scepter, darling? What happened in SciCorp?”
The memories flooded in, and the despair I'd been hiding from descended like a heavy blanket. “Ash,” I whispered, feeling tears prick my eyes. “It was Ash. She has him.”
“The prince?”
“Virus has him,” I continued in a daze. “She put one of her
mind-control bugs inside him, and he attacked us. He triedâ¦tried to kill us.”
“He's the one guarding the scepter,” Puck added, collapsing in a chair. “Him and about two dozen nasty Thornguards, and a whole building of Virus's little human drones.” He shook his head. “I've fought Ash before, but not like this. Whenever we dueled, there was always a small part of him, deep down, that wasn't serious. I know his royal iciness, and I knew he really didn't want to kill me, no matter how much he boasted otherwise. That's why our little feud has lasted so long.” Puck snorted and crossed his arms, looking grave. “The thing I fought today wasn't the frosty Ice prince we all know and love. There's nothing there anymore. No anger, no hate, no fear. He's more dangerous now than he ever was before, because he doesn't care if he lives or dies.”
Silence fell. All I could hear was the faint sound of Grimalkin sharpening his claws on the sofa. I wanted to lie down and cry, but the herbs were kicking in, and my depression was giving way to a numbing exhaustion. “So,” Leanansidhe ventured at last, “what will you do now?”
I stirred, fighting the drowsiness. “We go back,” I murmured, looking at Puck and Ironhorse, hoping they would back me up. “We have to. We have to get the scepter and stop the war. There's no other way around it.” Both nodded gravely, and I relaxed, grateful and relieved that they would follow me on this. “At least we know what we're up against now,” I continued, grabbing for a faint ray of hope. “We might have a better chance the second time around.”
“And the Winter prince?” Leanansidhe asked softly. “What will you do with him?”
I glanced at her sharply, about to tell her that we would save Ash and I didn't like what she was implying, but Puck beat me to it.
“We have to kill him.”
The world screeched to a halt. Slowly, I turned my head to stare at Puck, unable to believe what I just heard. “How could you?” I whispered. “He was your friend. You fought side by side. And now you want to cut him down like it was nothing!”
“You saw what he did.” Puck met my eyes, beseeching. “You saw what he
is
now. I don't think I can fight him without holding back. If he attacks you againâ”
“You don't want to save him,” I accused, leaning forward. My arm throbbed, but I was too angry to care. “You don't even want to try! You're jealous, and you've always wanted him out of the way!”
“I never said that!”
“You don't have to! I can see it on your face!”
“HE'S DYING, PRINCESS.”
Words froze in my throat. I stared at Ironhorse, silently pleading with him to be wrong. He gazed back with a sorrowful expression. “No.” I shook my head, fighting the persistent tears that stung my eyes. “I won't believe that. There has to be a way to save him.”
“I AM SORRY, PRINCESS.” Ironhorse bowed his head. “I KNOW YOUR FEELINGS FOR THE WINTER PRINCE, AND I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU BETTER NEWS. BUT THERE IS NO WAY TO FORCEFULLY REMOVE THE BUGS ONCE THEY HAVE BEEN IMPLANTED. NOT WITHOUT KILLING THE HOST.” He sighed, and his tone softened, though the volume did not. “GOODFELLOW IS RIGHT. THE WINTER PRINCE IS FAR TOO DANGEROUS. IF HE ATTACKS AGAIN, WE CANNOT HOLD BACK.”
“What about Virus?” I pressed, unwilling to give up. “She's the one controlling the bugs. If we take her out, maybe her hold on him willâ”
“Even if that were the case,” Puck interrupted, “the bug would still be inside him. And with no way to get it out, he'll either go mad, or be in so much torment that he would be better off dead. Ash is strong, Princess, but that thing inside him is killing him. You saw it, you heard what Virus said.” His brow furrowed, and his voice went very soft. “I don't think he has much time left.”
The tears pressing behind my eyes finally spilled over, and I buried my face in the pillow, biting the fabric to keep from screaming. God, it wasn't fair! What did they want from me? Hadn't I given enough already? I'd sacrificed everythingâfamily, home, a normal lifeâfor the stupid greater good. I had worked so hard; I was trying to be brave and mature about everything, but now I had to watch while the thing I loved most was killed in front of me?
I couldn't. Even if it was impossible, even if Ash killed me himself, I would still try to save him.
The room had grown very quiet. I peeked up and saw that everyone except Puck had left, slipping from the room to let me come to terms with myself, and the decision looming over my head, in peace.
Seeing me glance up, Puck tried catching my gaze. “Meghan⦔
I turned away, pressing my face into the cushions. Anger and resentment boiled; Puck was the last person I wanted to see, much less talk to. Right now, I hated him. “Go away, Puck.”
He sighed and rose from the chair, coming to perch on the sofa next to me. “Well, you know that never works.”
The silence stretched between us. I sensed that Puck wanted to say something but couldn't seem to find the right words. Which was odd; I'd never known him to hesitate about anything.
“I won't let you kill him,” I finally muttered after a few minutes of quiet.
There was a lengthy pause before he answered. “Would you ask me to watch you die?” he murmured slowly. “Stand by while he puts a sword through your heart? Or, maybe you want me to die instead. You could just tell me to stand still while Ash chops off my head. Would that make you happy, Princess?”
“Don't be stupid!” I bit my lip in frustration and sat up, wincing as the room spun for a moment. “I don't want anyone to die. But I can't lose him, Puck.” My anger abruptly drained away, leaving only a hollow despair. “I can't lose you, either.”
Puck put his arms around me and pulled me close, gently so as to not jolt my wounded arm. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, wishing I were normal, that I didn't have to make these impossible decisions, that everything would be all right again. If wishes were horsesâ¦
“What do want me to do, Princess?” Puck whispered into my hair.
“If there's any way we can save him⦔
He nodded. “I'll try very hard not to kill his royal iciness if we meet again. Believe it or not, Princess, I don't want Ash dead, any more than you do.” He sniffed. “Well, maybe a little more than you. But⦔ And he pulled back to look me in the eye. “If he puts you in danger, I won't hold back. That's my promise. I won't risk losing
you,
either, understand?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, closing my eyes. That was all I could ask.
I'll save you,
I thought, as drowsiness stole over me and my mind drifted.
No matter what, I'll find a way to bring you back. I promise.
I was nearly asleep, surrendering to the exhaustion stealing all my coherent thoughts, when a slamming door jerked me awake and Puck's arms tightened around me.
“Meghan Chase.” Kimi's voice cut across the room, clipped, flat and mechanical. I looked up and my stomach dropped away.
Kimi and Nelson stood beside the door like soldiers at attention, a posture so strange for both of them that I didn't recognize them at first. As one, their heads turned, and they gave me an empty stare. The same look Ash had turned on me back in SciCorp.
“Oh, no,” I whispered. Puck went stiff with shock.
“Our Mistress has a message for you, Meghan Chase.” Kimi took a short step forward, moving like a robot. “âCongratulations for breaking into SciCorp and, more impressive, breaking out again. You have my admiration. Unfortunately, I cannot have you running amok, making plans to return for the scepter, as I know you will. I'll be moving it tonight to a safer location. If you come back to SciCorp, I'm afraid you'll find it quite empty. Oh, and by the way, I'm also sending Ash to kill your family. They're in Louisiana, right?'”
I sucked in a breath, and the blood drained from my face. Kimi's expression didn't change, but her voice turned mocking. “âSo you have a choice now, my dear. Come back for the scepter, or run home and try to stop Ash. You'd better hurry. He's probably halfway to the bayou by now.
“âOne more thing!'” she added as I leaped to my feet, drowsiness forgotten. Heart pounding, I glared at her. Robot Kimi gave me an empty smile. “âI want you to remember, this is not a game, Meghan Chase. If you think you can waltz into my lair and try to take what is mine without repercussions, you'd best think again. People will get hurt because of you.'” Kimi stepped forward and narrowed her eyes. “âDo not screw with me, child. Let this be a little reminder of what can happen when you play with the big girls.'”
Kimi spasmed, spine arching back, mouth open in a silent scream as she twitched and thrashed. A moment later, Nelson
did the same, limbs jerking wildly, before they both collapsed to the floor.
Puck was beside Kimi instantly, rolling her over. The little half-phouka's eyes were open, gazing sightlessly at the ceiling, and she didn't move a muscle. I bit my lip, my heart pounding. “Are theyâ¦dead?”
He paused a moment before rising to his feet. “No. At least, I don't think so. They're still breathing, but⦔ He frowned, squinting at Kimi's slack expression. “I think their brains have short-circuited. Or the bugs are keeping them in some sort of coma.” He shook his head, looking up at me. “Sorry, Princess. I can't do anything for them.”
“Of course you can't, darling.” Leanansidhe breezed through the doorway, her face a porcelain mask, eyes glowing green. “Fortunately, I know a mortal doctor who might be able to help. If he cannot revive the streetrats, then there is no hope for them.” She turned to me, and I tried not to cringe under that unearthly gaze. “You are leaving, I presume?”