The Invisible Enemy (6 page)

W
e have a secret,” said Jane.

“Oh?” said my mother.

“And I’m going to keep it a secret.”

I began to exhale.

“For now, anyways,” said Jane, squinting at me.

“Forever,” I said, pinching her.

“I’ve ordered the pizza,” said Mom. Our traditional Friday-night supper is pizza, delivered from Lombardi’s, the oldest pizzeria in New York. “Why don’t you get started on your weekend homework, Billie? Jane, you come along with me and wash those hands.”

Let Jane alone with a hot secret and my mother at the same time?

“No!” I said. “Janey, stay here. I’ll help you wash your hands in a minute.”

She looked at me with total scorn. “I think I can wash my own hands,” she said, prancing out of the room after my mother.

“Oh, shoofly,” I swore.

“Billie,” said Alyssa. “Why can’t I just have a shower and scrub this stuff off?”

“It doesn’t work that way….” I let my voice trail off. She was getting closer, but I didn’t want to tell her the truth just yet. I kind of liked keeping her in the dark. I’d call Hubert, right now while my mother was busy, and tell him to start chewing the gum.

I found the phone on Jane’s bed.

“Who are you calling?” asked Alyssa.

“The Department of Missing Persons.”

“Hello?” said Hubert.

“Hubert,” I said.

“Oh, hi, Billie,”

“What are you calling Hubert for?” asked Alyssa. “To talk to J. P?”

“Be quiet,” I ordered, covering the mouthpiece. I pulled Jane’s blanket over my head so maybe she couldn’t hear everything.

“Hubert, I only have a second,” I whispered. “It’s an emergency.”

“Is this about Alyssa?”

“Of course. Only I forget the names of those Chinese fungus things we had to get for Harry the last time this happened. Do you remember? Locust barf? Goat’s hoof?”

“Goat’s horn, I think. Why don’t you call Jody?”

“I will—it’s just weird to call her after all these months and say it’s an emergency. Or she might have moved, or— I was just hoping maybe you’d remember. Plus, Hubert?”

“Uh-huh?”

I’d been asking him for a lot of favors recently, it suddenly seemed. No wonder he got sick of me sometimes and had other friends over.

“Hubert? I know you’re probably a little tired of me right now, but I’m kind of in a panic….” I heard my own voice wobble. “And I also need you to chew the gum. Lots of it.”

“But, Billie, how am I—”

“I could never chew as much as you, especially with my mother around. I’ll pay you back, however many packs you buy. Gum juice is an essential part of the Reappearing Potion, remember? Masticated chicle. And you are the master masticator.”

“Don’t bother with the flattery, Billie. Anyway, J. P. is here, and what am I supposed to tell—”

Someone poked me.

I pulled the blanket off my head, but no one was there. Meaning Alyssa.

“I gotta go. Just pretty please do it, Hubert? Okay? I’ll call you tomorrow. Say hi to Jean-Pierre for me.”

Click
.

“You
did
call Jean-Pierre!” Alyssa’s voice was right in my ear.

“Out of the way, Alyssa, I want to go check on Jane. I don’t trust her to keep her mouth shut.”

I hurried to the kitchen before Alyssa could protest. Jane was actually washing her hands
and singing a song about a crow on the fence. It seemed like nothing to worry about, so far.

“Billie, set the table, will you please?” My mother had trapped me.

Jane dried her hands on her shirt and skipped back to the bedroom. I put out plates and glasses. I flung down the napkins and cutlery. Not my best job ever.

Back at the doorway of our room, I stopped short. The contents of my backpack were strewn across the floor.

“Hey!” I said.

“I know you’re lying.” Alyssa’s voice was coming from near my dresser, in front of the mirror. “You’re just trying to torture me.”

“What?”

“She took your makeup bag,” reported Jane. “I saw it disappear.” She was trying on the latex gloves I’d brought home from the library detention. Harry gnawed on the corner of my binder.

“You probably have some kind of magic medicine right in this bag,” muttered Alyssa. “So I’m just trying everything.”

“Don’t you think if I had the right stuff I’d be
throwing it at you?” I asked. “And good riddance? I swear, Alyssa, there is no instant cure. It’s a highly scientific procedure.” And let’s just pray it’s strong enough to counteract such a big dose of powder.

“Look!” said Jane. Her wiggling fingers did not quite fill the gloves. “Monster hands!”

She was so pleased with herself I had to laugh.

“Watch this,” I said. “Jean-Pierre did this cool trick today.”

I inflated a glove for her, making the fingers pop up and wave. Harry leaped for it. A second glove from the pile disappeared as Alyssa took it. We could hear her puffing away and the scratchy sound when she tied the knot and then
poof!
A balloon bounced out of nowhere and boinked Jane on the forehead.

Jane teased Harry with it, wiggling the fingers in his face and pulling them away quickly before his teeth could get a grip.

The door buzzer rang.

“That’s the pizza guy,” called my mother. “Settle the squabble, please, girls!”

“Jeez, it was your own fault,” muttered Alyssa. She grabbed another glove, but this time we heard the rubbery snap as she pulled it on.

“Doesn’t this bring back fond memories of detention?” she asked. “The fashionable accessory for all occasions … and strong enough to withstand toxic chemicals!”

“Kids! Wash your hands! The pizza’s here, ready and waiting.”

“I’m starving!” complained Alyssa. She now seemed to be sitting on Jane’s bed.

“Tough,” I said. “You’re having Oreo crumbs and lemonade. Prisoner’s rations.”

I
managed to sneak a slice of pizza for Alyssa while my mother poured glasses of cranberry juice. I rolled it up in my napkin, but it was leaking orange oil and was kind of disgusting. I balanced it on my thigh while I ate, until Harry
discovered it and started to beg. Our table is in the living room, partway between the kitchen area and our bedroom. I was just inventing an excuse to go to my room when the refrigerator door opened.

It opened with a definite click and stayed open about two feet. Thank goodness I’m the one whose chair faces the kitchen! Mom faces me, so she couldn’t see behind her, and Jane’s view was blocked by the plant on the counter.

“Molly wiggled her tooth all morning,” Jane was saying. “And then, when she leaned over the turtle tank—”

I wildly shook my head no, hoping that Alyssa was looking my way.

“Be still.” Mom tsked, trying to listen to Jane.

“Maybe she bumped her hp or something on the edge—”

A container of yogurt floated out of the refrigerator and over to the counter.

“—and Molly’s tooth popped right out and hit Plunker smack on the head—”

The cutlery drawer opened and a spoon flew into the air. It looked like we were haunted!
Alyssa was completely nuts, and this proved it. How long could my mother not notice a ghost in her kitchen? But it took me another second to realize what was really wrong with this picture.

“Oh, no!” I gasped.

Jane and my mother looked at me.

“Tell what happened next, Jane. I’m just going to get some more juice.” I dropped the greasy pizza napkin on my chair seat and scurried into the kitchen.

“Ssst!” I snatched the spoon in midair.

“I’m hungry,” whispered Alyssa, fighting me for the spoon. “I told you that.”

“That’s not supposed to happen!” I whispered back. “If you’re holding something, it’s supposed to be invisible, too!”

“So?”

“So, you didn’t notice that you’re performing magical acts of levitation while my mother is sitting right there? Something’s wrong!”

Maybe the powder was wearing off! Could that happen? What if Alyssa suddenly reappeared? Or worse, what if
part
of Alyssa suddenly reappeared?

The cutlery drawer opened again, hitting my hip. Another spoon flew up and tapped me on the nose.

“Stop it, Alyssa!”

“Billie?” said my mother. “Is something wrong?”

“I had a spill,” I called. “I’m cleaning it up. I’m scolding myself so you won’t have to. In fact—” I suddenly realized the best way to get rid of my mother. “In fact, why don’t you take the night off, Mom?” I poked my head through the doorway. “Jane and I will do the dishes before we watch our video.”

“But I don’t want to do—” Jane started.

“Why, thank you, Billie. That’s a lovely offer.” She gave me her warmest mommy smile. “You really are a wonderful kid, when you put your mind to it.”

“Aren’t I a wonderful kid, too?” whined Jane.

“Of course you are, honey. Now go help your sister.” She got up from the table just as Harry slid the pizza bundle off my chair. I held my breath. “I’ve only got two more chapters in
my book, so I’ll be enjoying a cozy read in my room.”

Harry could have his prize in peace.

I took a breath when Mom’s door closed. “I have to call Jody right away,” I announced. “Jane, you sponge off the table. And put the pizza box into the recycling bin,” I added while I dialed Jody’s number.

“But there’s a piece left.”

Jody’s line was busy, so I hung up.

“Are you still hungry?” I asked Alyssa, opening the box on the counter.

“You bet,” said Alyssa. The slice wobbled out of the box and hovered in space. I watched in astonishment as it shrank, bite by bite.

“It’s magic!” said Jane. She clasped her hands together in front of her. “You’re doing magic!”

“What if you start coming back in pieces?” I spoke my worry aloud. “What if your zazzy hairstyle starts floating around by itself? Talk about scary!”

“Very funny,” said Alyssa. “Is there any more food?”

I put popcorn in the microwave and pushed start.

“You’re not doing any work,” complained Jane.

“I’m making dessert. Maybe Alyssa will do the dishes.”

“Very funny,” said Alyssa. “I already scrubbed your mother’s tables this morning. Just because I’m wearing rubber gloves doesn’t make me the maid.”

“You’re wearing the gloves? The gloves from detention?” It was like a beam of sunshine breaking through the ceiling of the loft! “It’s the gloves! Oh, thank goodness! It’s the gloves! Wait’ll Jody hears about this!”

I dialed Jody’s number again, and this time it rang.

“Hello?”

I remembered her mother’s musical voice with relief. At least Jody hadn’t moved.

“Oh, hello, Mrs. Greengard. This is Billie Stoner calling. May I please speak to Jody?”

“Why, certainly, dear.” It sounded like somebody
practicing scales on a flute. “One moment, please.”

I could hear her calling for Jody, and then she came back on.

“Can she call you in a few minutes, dear? She seems to be in the middle of one of her little experiments.”

“Could you please tell her it’s very important? In fact, could you tell her it’s an urgent emergency?”

“Ooh, that does sound exciting,” said Mrs. Greengard, as if we were sharing an adventure.

I hung up as the drumming inside the microwave dwindled to hiccups. I dumped the popcorn into the yellow bowl.

“Watch this!” said Alyssa.

A piece of popcorn floated up from the bowl, double-somersaulted in the air, and then—
poof!
—disappeared. Alyssa chewed noisily to show us where it had gone.

Jane shrieked and clapped, jumping up and down.

Alyssa grabbed fistfuls of popcorn and
punched the air a few times before making them burst apart like fireworks and scatter onto the floor.

“That is pretty cool!” I had to admit. Suddenly I wished I were invisible, too. I wanted to do tricks and run the show. “Alyssa! How about I pretend to be making it happen! Like a wizard.”

I put on a trance face and deepened my voice. “Lowly Popcorn!” I growled. “I Command you to come Hither unto the Teeth of Doom!” I snapped my jaws. A single kernel trembled forward and ended its life in my mouth. Another piece followed slowly.

“Make it go the other way,” suggested Jane. She was rocking back and forth with excitement.

“Think you can catch, Alyssa?”

“I’ll try.”

I threw the kernel into the air, and it hit the ground.

“I missed. Do it again.”

This time I tossed higher but softer. On its downward plunge, the popcorn vanished—
poof!
—into thin air. We all applauded, and I
tried throwing another. And then another. We kept throwing and laughing, and the thought flitted through my head that I was having fun. With Alyssa.

The phone rang.

I grabbed it. “Jody?”

“No, dear. This is Patsy Morgan, Alyssa’s mother.”

O
h,” I choked. “Hello, Ms. Morgan.”

“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.

“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted, my palm over the receiver.

“Alyssa!” I hissed. “Where are you? It’s your mother!”

A flurry of popcorn fell to the ground.

“What do I do?” she whispered.

“Talk to her, I guess.”

Alyssa took the receiver, and it hung in midair, dancing a little. I began praying that my
mother’s book was a really good one, with really long chapters.

“Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, that’s fine. See you.” The receiver clattered back into place.

“What did she want?” I asked.

“If she wanted you to know, I guess she would have told you.”

The phone rang again. The receiver jumped into the air and dangled there by itself. Alyssa had answered our phone!

“Hello?” we heard her say.

“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.

“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted. “Who is it?” I asked Alyssa.

“Oh, hello, J. P.” Alyssa practically whinnied. “No, this isn’t Billie. Can you guess who it is?”

Jean-Pierre? Phoning me? Hubert’s the only boy who’d ever called me before.

“Alyssa! Give me that!”

But she was too busy gurgling.

“You got it in one! I’m flattered! What do you want to talk to Billie about?”

“Alyssa!
Give
me the phone!”

“She’s busy right now. She wants me to take a message.”

“I do not! Let me speak to him!” I lunged in her direction, but she must have ducked sideways. The receiver dipped to the floor, and I grabbed air before crashing into the refrigerator.

“Teasing is not nice, Alyssa,” said Jane, crossing her arms across her chest. “You should let Billie talk.”

“Okay, I’ll tell her.” Alyssa giggled. The telephone was making an orbit around Jane.

The telephone’s cradle sits on the counter. I reached over and clicked the button a couple of times.

“Oops!” said Alyssa. “Gotta go!” She slammed down the phone.

“What did he say?” I asked, hoping I was threatening the right corner of the room. “You better tell me every word he—”

“Kids!”

We froze. My mother was suddenly in the kitchen with us, making things very crowded. She took in the litter of popcorn kernels and Harry’s trail of pizza slime on the floor.

“I thought the plan was to clean up the mess, not mess up the clean.”

“We’re sorry, Mommy,” said Jane in her sweetest little voice.

“It was my fault,” I said. “We got goofy. I’ll finish the job, I promise.”

“Well, okay,” she said. “But you better get moving or it’ll be too late to start a video. I’ve got one more chapter. Come in to say good night. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

My mother’s bedroom door closed.

“Alyssa?” I whispered.

She must have slipped into the bathroom behind Jane. I was itching to shake Jean-Pierre’s message out of her. Why did she have to be the one to answer? And what had he said? Well, at least I was the one he was actually calling, not her.

I was also the one who finished the dishes and swept the floor. Just as I put the broom away, Jane came bouncing out with her face still drippy.

“You should see!” she whispered. “Alyssa has the glove on while she’s brushing! The
toothbrush is dancing around by itself all over the room.”

“Whose toothbrush is she using?” I asked.

“Yours.”

Yuck! I went to the bathroom door. My turquoise toothbrush was rinsing itself under the faucet.

“This makes three things you’ve stolen from me today,” I said. “Backpack, J. P.’s phone call, and toothbrush. Just so you know I’m keeping track.”

“‘Just so you know I’m keeping track,’” she echoed, in a nasty, piping whine.

“Don’t you get tired of being a brat?” I asked her.

“Don’t
you
get tired of being a brat?” she asked me back. “A bossy, no-fun brat?”

“Hey,” I said, feeling slapped, almost. “We just were having fun, in case you hadn’t noticed!”

The phone rang again. This time I got it myself.

“Hey, Billie!”

“Jody! Thank God! Oh, thank you for calling back!”

She was slightly out of breath. “Your line was busy. What’s up?”

“Who’s on the phone?” called my mother.

“It’s for me, Mom!” I shouted back. “I’ve got trouble,” I said to Jody, turning to check that Alyssa was still in the bathroom, out of earshot. “The worst trouble.”

I explained the situation as quickly as I could, politely not using the word
thief,
and not even getting to the part about the gloves before Jody interrupted me.

“Oh, this is good,” she said. “This is very good.”

“Maybe you didn’t understand,” I said. “From over here, it’s not good at all!”

“What I mean is, from a scientific point of view, this is excellent timing. I’ve been testing a new recipe, and I was just thinking how I was ready for a human subject. I’ve replaced the fungi with dog food and mushroom soup for quicker action. This is a perfect test opportunity. Can you come up to my place now?”

I thought for half a second about telling my mother I had to go uptown alone in the wintry
dark of night to assemble the Miraculous Antidote to my Invisibility Powder.

“How about tomorrow morning?” I suggested.

“Well, the only thing is, my mother is having her gruesome gang of friends here for morning coffee. It’s her turn to be hostess. They get together every month to play Spite and Malice, which is a card game, believe it or not, and no way on the planet am I going to hang around here to watch my mother cheating at cards while the ladies swoon over her macaroons, which she gets from Goldberg’s Bakery anyway.”

Sounds like Alyssa, I thought.

“So what you’re saying is …?”

“So what I’m saying is, I’ll be happy to help. I’m going to take notes, if you don’t mind, and I’ll supply the ingredients. I’ve got everything— oh, except for the gum! I still have braces, like forever, so I can’t do the gum. Is that cute little Hubert available?”

“Yes,” I said, hoping it was true.

“Okay, I’ll bring the rest and meet you somewhere far from the crone-fest in my living room. Where and when?”

It was way too cold to meet on a corner. We finally agreed on the Barnes & Noble at Eighty-second and Broadway, in the kids’ section, at noon.

I hung up feeling queasy. It was a good thing I couldn’t see Alyssa, because I wouldn’t have been able to look her straight in the eye. Jody’s mention of dog food really had me worried.