Authors: Roxanne St. Claire
29
Ghali
unlocked
the hallway door and closed it quietly. He walked a few paces to the bedroom door and stopped. The bed was made, the curtains opened and Talya was not there.
He didn’t understand.
He had checked on Talya before leaving and she was sound asleep, he was sure of it.
The blood rushed to his head so fast that he had to hold himself on the doorframe and take a couple of deep breaths before going in to check if any clothes or luggage had been
taken
from any of the closets. Nothing had been removed. He was stunned. He went to the kitchen, the coffeepot stood empty on its receptacle. In the bathroom, Talya’s toothbrush and personal things were all in their usual places on the vanity. On the terrace, nothing would even indicate that anyone had been there the night before.
In the living room, nothing had been disturbed.
At the bay window, drapes were still drawn closed to shade the room from the morning light.
Ghali
then went to Talya’s computer and turned it on. He was hoping and yet dreading that a word or a letter had been left on the screen for him to read. There was not a sign of Talya having left anything for anyone.
Ghali
spun on his heels, and went to the telephone answering machine.
The light wasn’t blinking. A pang of despair hit him. It was 7:00AM. He dialled the first number that came to mind.
“
Charles
, I’m very sorry to bother you—”
“
Ghali
?
What on earth… What’s the matter?
Where are you?”
“I don’t know how to say this—”
Ghali
really didn’t know how to break the news to
Charles
.
“What?
Spill it out, will you?
Is Talya all right?
And where are you?”
“I’m in her apartment and she isn’t here—”
“Is that it? She’s just gone out to get some milk or something; I don’t know… I’m sure she’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“But it’s only seven o’clock; Talya doesn’t go out for milk or anything before eight.
If she’s not still in bed at that time, she’s on the terrace reading or at her computer. I tell you something is wrong.”
“Have you phoned Samir? And how was she when you left last night?”
Charles
was wide-awake now. “Because as I remember, she was in a very testy mood when we last spoke; she was ready to make mince meat of
Kareef
.”
“Yes I know, but I can’t help thinking she is in danger?”
Ghali
couldn’t bring himself to tell
Charles
what he was really thinking.
“I’ll give you Samir’s number at the hotel. But remember, this is Saturday, he may have gone for Morning Prayer somewhere.”
“I shouldn’t think so.
The sun is over the horizon; he should be done by now.
Anyway, I’ll call him.”
Ghali
took down the number, which
Charles
gave him and the latter told him to call back when he got some news.
Ghali
went to the terrace before dialling the number.
He couldn’t come to terms with Talya’s absence. What if she really did go back to the beach during the night and walked into the ocean to her death?
Knowing Talya as he did,
Ghali
had no doubt that if she had made up her mind to do something, she would do it. She was desperate enough to commit suicide. The news from
Bamako
had not been good.
Alhassan
was still fighting for his life.
He went back to the living room and dialled the hotel number. The operator put him through instantly.
“Yes?”
Samir’s voice was steady, almost solemn.
“Samir, this is
Ghali
. Could I ask you to come to Talya’s apartment right now?”
“Of course, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“I’m sorry—”
“There is absolutely no need for any explanation over the phone, Doctor. I’ll be there sooner if you hang up now.”
Looking at the receiver in his hand,
Ghali
wondered why the man had been so curt. He didn’t even ask what this was about.
It wasn’t ten minutes later when the phone rang twice successively.
Ghali
pressed the intercom digit without asking who the visitor was.
When he opened the hallway door, Samir stood still and peered into
Ghali
’s eyes.
The latter
returned the unwavering gaze
without a word.
A
s soon as Samir
strode
into the living room and
went to sit
on the sofa
, he closed the door
.
“I don’t know how to say this—”
Ghali
began
,
once he was sitting
in the English chair,
across
from
the Touareg
.
“Don’t even try to explain. There is no need. I had asked you to stay with her last night. You didn’t do so because we agreed when we left that she would sleep peacefully through the night, and that her mind seemed to be directed more toward vengeance than suicide at that time.
Obviously, we were wrong. She’s gone isn’t she?” Samir’s voice was so matter-of-fact that
Ghali
wondered if the man was suddenly devoid of emotions.
“Yes. I’ve checked everything, and she appeared to have
taken
a shower, got dressed and walked out.”
Ghali
was apologetic.
He felt responsible for Talya’s sudden departure.
“And I saw that she didn’t take her purse. Have you checked its content?”
“No, I didn’t think of doing so.”
“Let’s check it then.”
The purse contained nothing more than a tissue and a perfume spray.
“As you can see she’s
taken
her wallet and her keys; and that,
Doctor
, is very good news,” Samir concluded, replacing the purse on the table.
“How can that be good news?”
Ghali
was quite amazed at Samir reaching such a conclusion just from observing the absence of a wallet and keys.
“Because, she wouldn’t have
taken
her wallet if she had intended to drown into the ocean.”
A blank look draped over Ghali’s face
. He understood what he was told but he couldn’t accept the inference. Talya could have made a last minute decision if she had gone to the beach.
“You mean she’s gone off on her own, somewhere, without a word to anyone?”
“Oh yes. And the reason, I’m sure of it, is simply because she’s done this kind of thing before.”
“But why?”
“I should have seen it coming. Talya only wants to be left alone. She has no desire for anyone’s company now. However, I’m equally sure that we will get a call from her before tonight.”
“And why would you think that?”
Ghali
’s curiosity was acutely aroused. Samir seemed to know Talya’s every action or reaction in advance. How could he know so much about a woman he only knew for a few weeks?
“Simple deduction. Her friend and another man, whom she’s held in high esteem, are badly hurt; they are lying in a hospital bed fighting for their lives. She will phone to know if we have received any fresh news. You can be sure of it. Talya may be a loner, but she cares deeply about the people she loves. Her instincts will get the better of her. You’ll see that I’m right.”
“I hope so.
I feel … I don’t really know how I feel,”
Ghali
said, shaking his head.
“Don’t even think of blaming yourself for what’s happening. Talya will be fine. She knows she has to go back and deal with all of this.”
“But that’s like putting her through torture to cure what ails her, and I won’t be there to soothe her pain. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel.”
Ghali
shook his head in desperation.
“There is no other way to deal with evil but to face it, Doctor.
When you give your cancer patients chemotherapy or radiation, do you think you’re not putting them through a form of torture in
the
hope that you’ll be able to cure them?”
“Yes, but this is not the same thing. Talya should be fine without any treatment what so ever.
She needs love and care and tranquillity…”
“And that’s where you’re wrong.
You’re the one who called me.
Why did you do that?
You know very well that you can’t let her continue living like this; because if you did, one day you’ll wake up and she won’t be there. Something would have triggered her memory and she would have either
taken
her life or escaped to some other place to start a new life. And I don’t think that’s what you want.”
Unexpectedly
Ghali
asked, “Why don’t you call me
Ghali
?
I feel some sort of barrier being erected between us. We’re striving to reach the same goal, and yet I sense rejection in your attitude.”
He had gone off the subject and onto a track, which Samir had avoided. The latter smiled gently and stretched to the back of the sofa.
“Because,
Dr. Defray
, I have respect for you and for what you’re trying to do presently, but I also have reproaches in my heart. These are such that I can’t befriend you until I see sorrow in your eyes for what you did.”
“And what are those reproaches you are speaking of?”
“The first and foremost would be the fact that you were not at her side when she needed you.”
“If you’re referring to the last time she left to go to Mali, I just didn’t return a few of her calls, because she was so wrapped up in what she was doing that she didn’t even feel necessary to inquire about my feelings.”
Samir shot a glance of annoyance at his interlocutor. “And you acted like an imbecile!
When the woman you love calls you for whatever reason, I would think you would jump at the chance to speak to her, but you didn’t. That was selfish and inconsiderate.” Samir’s tone of voice was firm.
Ghali
looked chagrined.
He was in love with Talya and he didn’t seem to be able to love her. “I know, I know. You don’t even have to remind me.”
He
put his elbows on his knees, while averting his eyes from Samir’s gaze and trying to hide his hopelessness. “I was an imbecile as you’ve said, but what can I do now to repair the damage. It seems that everything I do, or attempt to do, end up in disaster.”
“Well, the fact that you’ve acknowledge your mistake is already a step in the right direction.
Yet, that’s not enough. You have to think of Talya first, and leave your feelings aside only to follow your instinct.”
“Can you explain that?”
Ghali
was lost. He didn’t understand what Samir said.
He was staring at the floor ostensibly to prepare himself for what was sure to be some sort of sermon.
“Look at what you’ve done last night. You forced Talya to invite you for dinner, because you know she’s going away in two weeks
’
time and
you
want to be with her as much as possible.
That tells me that selfishness plays a prominent part in your relationship with her.”
“But—”
Ghali
interrupted, lifting his head to look at Samir.
He held up a hand indicating to the doctor that he wasn’t finished talking. “Then, when
Charles
invites you to come along and accompany Talya to
Africa
, and without so much as a thought as to the damage that it would have caused to Talya’s state of mind, you accept the invitation in the blink of an eye. That again tells me that selfishness gears your actions to some degree.
And those three occurrences, Doctor, are the total sum of my reproaches.”
“What about ‘leaving my feelings aside only to follow my instinct’, what does that mean?”
“You’re an intelligent fellow, and you will understand in time the full extent of what I meant by that comment. For now let’s just say that you need to listen to your instincts first and let your feelings follow through.
If your instinct is to love Talya, let that be the guide of all your actions and let the feeling of selfishness only to follow into nothingness.”
There was a pause, a calming silence between the two men. Everything Samir had told him was true enough.
Remorseful thoughts invaded
Ghali
’s mind. He had told Talya last night that she would only find peace if she dealt with her past, but he had been unable to push her into the darkness and wait for her at the other end of the tunnel. Was it so selfish of him to desire her or to long for her presence at his side?
Was it selfish to yearn for her?
Maybe it was, and maybe in time Talya would come back to him.