The Inner Struggle: Beginnings Series Book 7 (58 page)

“Then talk to her.”

“That’s easier said than done,” Henry replied.

“Why is that?”

“Because all this …” Henry pointed to the bottles. “She hasn’t a clue how bad it is.”

“Well, Maybe it’s time she does. but remember, we can’t help Frank until he wants to help himself.” He exhaled heavily. “That may be the hardest part yet.” Robbie closed his eyes. The corners of his mouth lowered as if gravity itself were pulling at them. He opened his eyes and shifted his views from Henry to the bottles. He let out a slow breath of disappointment. “Frank.”

“No, this isn’t right.” Dean pulled up the ‘recipe’ of agent 17 on his computer. “I mixed it right, I didn’t miss anything.” He shook his head. “Why aren’t you working? It’s right here.” He flicked his finger on the screen. “And this matches this.” He picked up the clipboard. “Unless . . .” He stood quickly from the stood. When he did, a rush of blood hit him and his head filled with an enormous pain. Dean tilted in a sway, latched onto the counter for support, and waited for the pain to subside. It didn’t. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore it. With the help of the counter as support, he made his way to the filing cabinet. He bent down to the second drawer, his head throbbing as he did, and pulled out his journal, the latest one with his notes. He flipped to the section where he knew he could find the information and focused in on his notes. Though they were blurry he could see enough to confirm what he believed. “Son of a bitch. Ellen. Damn it,” He tossed the journal to the counter and while he pressed his fingers tightly to his temple, he went back over to the computer. “Damn it. You cost me a whole night’s work,” he bitched to himself. “I said make a change to the dose per weight, not a change to the weight of the agent. Damn it, it was too weak.” Frustrated and feeling worse physically, Dean corrected Ellen’s error in the computer, getting angrier with each key stroke he hit.

<><><><>

When the Moon Lodge women’s group entered into the social hall, they were greeted with hooting, an unusual occurrence. Ellen knew a security meeting was the cause. How many of them were actually drunk by that point? Cole was. He could barely stand. In fact Ellen laughed when he fell to a chair because of his drunkenness and held on to Trish for support. He laid his head on her pregnant stomach and looked as if he were about to nap.

The women immediately mingled as soon as they walked in. They were the big celebrities. Jenny danced with Patrick. Andrea sat next to Jason at the bar. As Ellen skimmed the large room, she saw Frank as he played darts and laughed. She smiled when she saw him. Did he not see her? He probably didn’t even notice. She stood way to the back of the large--not only in numbers but in size as well--group of women.

Frank rubbed in his game victory to Mark and turned his head to see the women. His cringing face smiled when he saw Ellen. Finishing off his drink, he lifted his head, set down his glass, and walked over to her. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I’d like to ask you the same but seeing all your security guys, I figured this is where the big metal run meeting was.”

“It was. I’m glad you’re here. Wanna hang out?”

“Nah, go hang out with the guys. You don’t do that very often.”

“El, come on.” Frank shook his head then hunched to her level. “I’d rather be with you.”

Ellen stared up at him then smiled. “All right.”

“Can we sneak off in a corner somewhere?”

“We can do that. We can sneak off.”

Frank bit his bottom lip with the orneriest of grins. “You’re kidding?”

“Nope.”

He laughed. “This is great. All right. What do you want to drink?”

“Um . . . nothing. Let’s just go to a table.”

“Let me grab my drink.” He backed up.

“Frank.” Ellen grabbed his hand. “You don’t need to that.”

“El, one drink.”

“Frank, I watched you finish one when I walked in here. Was that your first one?”

“El, I’m out having a good time. One more, please?”

Ellen folded. “One more then that’s it. You’re shut off.”

“One more.” Frank made his way through the gathering maze of people over to the bar. He didn’t see Ellen when he grabbed his glass and his bottle. Checking once more for her, he poured a drink, downed it then poured another. As he lifted his glass to carry with him, he felt his arm pulled so roughly that the glass slammed to the bar, splashing up the moonshine. “El?”

“Why did you do that?” she asked with such anger.

“Do what?”

“Sneak in an extra drink?”

Frank didn’t have an answer, his facial muscles twitched as he turned his views from her to think.

“Frank. Why?”

“El . . . please, enough. All right?”

“No it is not all right.” She finally released his arm with firm point to him. “You . . . you have a problem. You promised me you’d stop this drinking. You didn’t, did you?”

“El . ..”

“You didn’t. Did you?!” She nearly screamed over the noise.

Frank took a deep breath. “No.”

“Fuck, Frank. You promised me. You gave me your word. I see what’s more important.” She backed up.

“El, wait.” He chased her, grabbing hold of her arm.

“No, Frank.” She swatted him away. “You disappoint me and it’s not often I say that to you. I give up on you.” She shook her head, turned harshly from him, and raced out of the social hall.

“Ellen!” Frank chased her. “El, please wait.” He caught up to her, placing his hands on her arms. “Look at me.” He placed his face close to hers. “Please listen.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry.” He watched her turn her head. “No, El. I’m sorry.” His index finger turned her chin to make her look at him. “I am. I broke my word to you. I won’t break it again. I promise.”

“Can you make that promise, Frank?”

“I swear to you I’ll make the promise. Give me one more chance. Don’t give up on me.”

“Frank, I’m angry because I’m worried about you, worried that you can’t quit.”

“I can quit.”

“You didn’t.”

“I didn’t really try. I’ll try now. Please.” He leaned closer to her. “This is the first time I have ever broken my word to you. Let me make it up to you.”

Ellen closed her eyes. “You have to keep your word this time. You have to show me you do not have a problem, because Frank, I believe you do.”

“No, I don’t. I’ll prove it to you. Please.”

“O.K.” Upon her words she felt the embrace of Frank as he held her tightly. “Now I’m . . .” She heard her name being called in the distance. She knew the voice and knew by Frank’s disgusted look who it was. “He sounds mad.”

Frank looked behind Ellen. “He looks mad.”

“Shit.” Ellen closed her eyes.

“Want me to beat him up?”

“No.” Ellen shook her head with a laugh. “I’ll deal with him. Why don’t you go home and I’ll meet you there.”

“I thought we were hanging out.”

“I’ll tell you what. We’ll go off somewhere and hang out when I get to your house. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.” He kissed her quickly. “See you there.” Backing up, Frank wiggled his fingers. “Bye, Dean.”

Dean ignored Frank as he watched him leave, he wasn’t in the mood. “El.”

“Yes, Dean.” Ellen tried to smile but saw it coming on his face. “What did I do now?”

“You screwed up.” Dean poked his finger at her. “You screwed up big time. You cost us time. You could have cost lives.”

“Ow.” She hit his hand. “You poked me, you asshole. Physical abuse.”

“El! This is serious.”

“What the hell could I possibly have done, Dean?” She threw her hands up.

“Remember when I gave you the notes and told you to make the changes in the computer for agent 17. Well you did it wrong. The whole entire batch was wasted because it didn’t work.”

“I screwed up?” Ellen fluttered her lips at him. “How do you know it was me and not you? You are the one who can’t see Dean.”

His nostrils flared and his heavy breaths let her know she had crossed the line. “Fuck you.” With no more words, Dean left Ellen on the street and stormed off to his home not far away.

<><><><>

Frank was upbeat as he approached the front door of his house. Ellen would be there shortly. Josh was probably asleep. He and Ellen wouldn’t even have to sneak off. They’d have the house pretty much to themselves. Whistling, Frank stopped when he walked in and was surprised to see Robbie and Henry rise and stand before the dining room table. “What’s uh . . .” Frank shut the door. “What’s going on?”

Robbie’s face turned red. He had been waiting for Frank. “What the hell are you doing, Frank?”

“What?” Frank walked closer, then his whole expression dropped when Robbie stepped aside and exposed the dining room table full of bottles.

“What is this shit?”

“You don’t know?” Robbie closed in on him. “Look at it, Frank! You don’t know what this is? I’ll tell you what this is. This is your downfall.”

Frank huffed and his face felt hot. He glared at Henry then Robbie. “What the fuck were you guys doing going through my stuff!? Huh? None of this is any of your business!” Frank moved to the table.

Robbie stopped him harshly. “It’s not our business?!” He spoke so roughly. “Fuck you Frank. This is our business. You are our business. You are screwing around. You have a problem.”

“I don’t have a problem.”

Henry was calmer, perhaps because he was more down than angry. “Frank, you have a problem. Why are you hiding bottles in every room and closet except where the kids sleep?”

Frank placed his hands on his hips and raised his eyes to the ceiling, closing his mouth tightly. He stood in silence for a moment then with a loud growl of frustration, he swung his arm outward toward the table, smashed it down into the bottles, and cleared the table with a thunderous crash. His hand that began to bleed came harshly to his face and ran down it as he blindly reached for a chair and emotionally sat down.

Henry and Robbie stared at him. He looked so lost as he sat with elbows on the table, face buried in his hands, sitting amongst the mess he had just made of his table and, ironically, the mess of his life.

Robbie walked to him. “This . . . this has to stop. This secret can stay between us, but it has to stop big brother. I swear to you.”

Frank nodded. “I know.”

Henry closed his eyes with some relief to hear Frank say that. Of course it wasn’t the first time he heard Frank say that. “Frank, we’re here for you. We’ll help you but you got to want to help yourself first.”

“I know.” Frank’s hand cleared from his face and slammed on to the table. Suddenly a look of panic hit him. “Fuck.”

Henry’s eyes shifted around. “What’s wrong?”

“El . . . El is coming over. You can’t let her see this.” Frank stood up. “She’s coming over now. She can’t know. Promise me you won’t tell her anything about this.”

Henry looked in debate. “Frank . . .”

“Promise me.”

Henry looked at Robbie then Frank. “We promise.”

“Good.” Frank bent down to the floor. “I have to get this cleaned up.” He hurriedly began to pick up glass.

Henry started to bend down also. “I’ll help you.”

Frank stopped his reaching hand. “No, this is my mess. Believe me, this is my mess. I’ll clean it up. Robbie . . .” Frank raised his head to his brother. “Cut El off. Tell her, tell her I need a rain check. I’ll see her later or something. Please?”

Robbie slowly nodded “Sure Frank,. I need to talk to her anyhow.”

“And don’t say anything,” Frank ordered.

“No, I won’t.” Robbie sadly took one more look at his brother and Henry then walked slowly to the door to wait outside for Ellen.

The moment Frank heard the door closed, he dropped to a sitting position on the floor and stared at the wet carpet and the broken glass.

Quietly, Henry sat down and joined him on the floor. “I know you don’t want my help Frank. I don’t care. I’ll help you get this place in order.” Henry started to help Frank clean up. So symbolic it was. Not only was it Henry’s first step in helping Frank clean up his house, but it would also be Henry’s first step in helping his friend clean up his life as well.

<><><><>

Henry.

Ellen felt a little nervous when she heard the shower water stop. She lay on her bed, on her stomach, flipping through an old tabloid magazine she dug out of her memorabilia box. She stopped reading when the water stopped. It would be the first time all night she faced Henry since she had left for her meeting. He wasn’t there when she got home or when she got out of the shower. While she was in the kitchen, somehow Henry slipped quickly in the house and into the shower before he even said hello. She smelled the moonshine scent that trailed him as she followed him up the stairs. She remembered him saying he didn’t think she’d be home. He had spilled on himself. Ellen had to end the conversation through the bathroom door and water noise, explaining to Henry that her throat hurt too much to yell. Though it did, Ellen didn’t know what to say to him, or how to act when she saw him.