The In Death Collection 06-10 (88 page)

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I just went out for a walk.” She sat but couldn’t quite get her frozen fingers to work
well enough to peel off her wet shoes. “I needed some air.”

“So you go out without a coat. Making yourself sick’s next in your master plan for dealing
with this.”

Her mouth fell open. She’d wanted him, wanted him to comfort and soothe, and he was snapping at
her, yanking off her shoes as if she were a child about to be spanked. “I just wanted some air.”

“Well, you seem to have gotten it.” Jesus, he thought, Jesus, her hands were like ice. He
yanked back the urge to warm them himself and stood back from her. “Get in the damn shower, boil yourself as
you’re prone to.”

Hurt swam into her eyes, but she said nothing. It only infuriated him more when she rose and walked
obediently into the adjoining bath.

He closed his eyes when he heard the water running. Let her grieve, Mira had told him. Well, he’d let
her grieve long enough. She’d said he’d know the moment to shake her out of it.

If not now,
he told himself,
when?

He ordered up brandy for both of them, swirled his without interest as he waited for her.

When she came out, wrapped in a robe, he was ready.

“Perhaps it’s time we talk about your options.”

“Options?”

“What you’ll do.” He picked up the second snifter, put it in her hand, then sat
comfortably. “With your training and experience, private security is likely the best avenue. I have a number of organizations
where your talents would come in very handy.”

“Private security? Working for you?”

He lifted a brow. “I can promise you, your income will be more substantial than it was, and
you’ll be kept very busy.” He sat back, draped his arm over the back of the
sofa, and
appeared blissfully relaxed. “That particular option would free up your time, allow you to travel more freely. You’d be
expected to accompany me on a number of business trips, so it would have a number of benefits to both of us.”

“I’m not looking for a damn job, Roarke.”

“No? Well, my mistake. If you’ve decided to retire then, we can explore other
options.”

“Options, for God’s sake. I can’t think about this.”

“We could consider making a child.”

The snifter jerked in her hand, brandy sloshing over the rim as she spun around.
“What?”

“That got your attention,” he murmured. “I imagined we’d start our family a
bit farther down the road, but under the current circumstances, we could easily push it up.”

She wondered why her head didn’t explode. “Are you crazy? A baby? Do you mean a
baby?”

“That’s the conventional way to start a family.”

“I can’t—I don’t—” She managed to catch her breath.
“I don’t know anything about babies, kids.”

“You have a great deal of leisure time just now. You can learn. Retiring makes you a perfect
candidate for professional motherhood.”

“Professional—Jesus.” She was certain she felt all the blood the hot water had stirred
back to life in her body drain away again. “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Not entirely.” He rose, faced her. “I want a family. It doesn’t have to be
now, it doesn’t have to be a year from now, but I want children with you. I also want my wife back.”

“Private security, families.” Her eyes filled and stung again. “Just how much do you
want to dump on me when I’m down?”

“I expected better of you,” he said coolly and had the tears drying up.

“Better? Better of me?”

“A great deal better. What have you done the last thirty-odd hours, Eve, but cry and hide and feel
sorry for
yourself? Where do you expect that to get you?”

“I expected you to understand.” Her voice broke and nearly undid him. “To give me
some support.”

“To understand you crawling away, to support your self-pity.” He sipped brandy again.
“No, I don’t think so. It gets tiring, watching you wallow in it.”

It stole her breath away, the light disgust in his voice, the disinterest in his eyes. “Just leave me alone
then!” She shouted it, tossed the brandy aside so that the glass bounced and rolled as the liquor soaked the carpet.
“You don’t know how I feel.”

“No.” Finally, he thought, finally here was her fury. “Why don’t you tell
me?”

“I’m a goddamn cop. I can’t be anything else. I busted my ass at the academy
because it was the answer. It was the only way I knew to make something of myself. To finally be something that wasn’t
another number, another name, another victim the system sucked up and struggled with.
I
did it,” she said furiously.
“I made me so that nothing,
nothing
that happened before had to matter.”

She whirled away. There were tears again, but these were hot and potent and full of rage. “What I
didn’t remember, what I did, none of it could change where I was going. Being a cop, being in control, using the system that
had, by God, used me all my fucking life. From the inside, with a badge, I could believe in it again. I could make it work. I could stand
for something.”

“Why have you stopped?”

“They stopped me!” She spun back, her hands fisted. “Eleven years, the years that
matter, when I trained and I learned and I worked to make a difference somewhere. The bodies stacked up in my mind, the blood
I’ve waded through, and the waste. I see it in my sleep, every face of the dead. But it didn’t stop me, never would
have stopped me, because it matters too much. Because I can look at them and know what I have to do. And I can live with everything
that happened to me, even the things I don’t remember.”

He nodded coolly. “Then fight back, and get what you need.”

“I’ve got nothing. Goddamn it, Roarke, can’t you see? When they took my badge,
they took everything I am.”

“No, Eve. They didn’t take what you are unless you let them. They only took your symbols.
If you need them,” he continued, stepping to her, “pull yourself together, stop whining, and get them
back.”

She jerked away from him. “Thanks for the support.” Her voice cracked like ice under a pick
as she turned and walked out of the room.

Driven by temper, she stormed through the house, down to the gym. She stripped off the robe, dragged on
a unisuit. Her blood blazing, she activated the combat droid and beat the shit out of it.

Upstairs, Roarke sipped brandy and grinned like a fool as he watched her on a monitor. He imagined
she’d replaced the droid’s face with his. “Go ahead, darling,” he murmured. “Pound me into
dust.” He winced a little when she jammed her knee hard into the droid’s crotch, felt a sympathetic twinge in his own
balls.

“I guess I had that coming,” he decided and made a mental note to order a new combat
droid. This one was toast.

It was good progress, he mused after she’d left the mangled droid on the mat, stripped off her
sweat-soaked suit, and stomped into the pool house. He counted thirty strong, steady laps when Summerset hailed him.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but a Detective Baxter is at the gate. He wishes to see Lieutenant
Dallas.”

“Tell him she remains unavailable. No.” On impulse, Roarke shifted gears. He was more than
a little tired of doing nothing himself. “Let him in, Summerset. I’ll see him. I have a few words for the NYPSD. Send
him to my office.”

“I’ll be happy to.”

Baxter was doing his best not to gawk. His mood was glum, his nerves on edge, and he’d already
dealt with the
wave of reporters at the gate. Beating on the windows of an official vehicle, for Christ’s
sake, he thought. Where was the respect and the good healthy fear for cops these days?

And now he found himself being led through a fucking palace by a stiff-assed butler type. The place was like
something out of a video. One of his favorite pastimes had been to razz Eve about the unlimited credit well she’d fallen into
with Roarke. Now he had all this new material and didn’t have the heart to use it.

He got another eyeful when he walked into Roarke’s office. The equipment alone was enough to
make his eyes want to pop out of his head, and the setting, acres of treated glass, miles of glossy tiles, made him feel shabby in his
off-the-rack suit and well-broken-in shoes.

Just as well, he decided. He felt pretty damn shabby all around.

“Detective.” Roarke remained seated behind the desk, the position of power. “Your
identification?”

They’d met more than once, but Baxter simply nodded and took out his badge. Couldn’t
blame the guy for being tight-assed under the circumstances, Baxter decided. “I need to interview Dallas regarding the Bowers
homicide.”

“I believe you were informed yesterday that my wife is unavailable at this time.”

“Yeah, I got the message. Look, it’s got to get done. I’ve got a job to do
here.”

“Yes, you have a job.” Not bothering to disguise the threat in his eyes, Roarke got to his
feet. Every movement precise, like a wolf stalking prey. “Eve doesn’t, because your department is quick to turn on
their own. How the hell can you stand here with that badge in your hand? You come into her home prepared to interrogate her? You
son of a bitch, I ought to make you eat that fucking badge and send you back to Whitney on a pike.”

“You’ve got a right to be upset,” Baxter said evenly, “but I’ve got an
investigation going, and she’s part of it.”

“Do I seem upset, Baxter?” His eyes glinted like a
sword turned
edge-up in the sun as he came around the desk. “Why don’t I show you, right now, what I am?” Fast as a
lightning strike, Roarke’s fist shot out.

Eve walked in just as Baxter went flying. She had to leap forward to get to Baxter and block his body with
hers before Roarke could follow up. “Jesus, Roarke. Are you crazy? Back off, back off. Baxter?” She tapped his
cheeks, waited for his eyes to roll back into their proper position. “You okay?”

“I feel like I got hit with a hammer.”

“You must’ve slipped.” She cast aside pride and put the plea in her eyes.
“Let me help you up.”

He shifted his gaze to Roarke, then looked back at her. “Yeah, I must’ve slipped.
Shit.” He wiggled his aching jaw and let Eve pull him up. “Dallas, I guess you know why I’m
here.”

“I think I can figure it out. Let’s get it over with.”

“You don’t speak to him without your lawyers,” Roarke said. “We’ll
contact them and get back to you, Detective, as to when it’s convenient for my wife to speak with you.”

“Baxter.” As she spoke, she kept her eyes on Roarke. “Give us a minute here, will
you?”

“Sure, yeah, no problem. I’ll just, ah, wait out there.”

“Thanks.” She waited until the door shut. “He’s just doing his
job.”

“Then he can do it properly, when you’re suitably represented.”

With a frown, she moved closer, took his hand. “Your knuckles are going to swell. Baxter’s
got a head like a rock.”

“It was worth it. It would have been even better if you hadn’t interfered.”

“Then I’d be laying bail for you.” Intrigued, she cocked her head. She’d
seen him furious often enough to recognize it simmering in his eyes. “Less than an hour ago, you were telling me to stop
whining, and now I walk in and watch you deck the primary on the investigation
that’s put me here.
Just where the hell do you stand, Roarke?”

“With you, Eve. Always.”

“Why did you kick at me like that?”

“To piss you off.” He smiled a little, cupped her chin. “It worked. You’re
going to need some ice on your knuckles as well.”

She linked her aching fingers with his. “I killed your droid.”

“Yes, I know.”

“I pretended it was you.”

“Yes,” he said again. “I know.” He took her hand, curled it into a fist and
brought it to his lips. “Want to hit the real thing now?”

“Maybe.” She stepped to him, into him, wrapped her arms tight around him.
“Thanks.”

“For?”

“For knowing me well enough to understand what I needed.” She closed her eyes, pressed
her face to his neck. “I think I understand you well enough to know it wasn’t easy for you to do.”

His arms came hard around her. “I can’t stand to see you hurt this way.”

“I’m going to get through it. I’m not going to be less than you expect. Or less than I
expect of myself. I need you with me.” She let out a breath, eased back. “I’m going to let Baxter back in.
Don’t hit him anymore, okay?”

“Can I watch while you hit him? You know how it excites me to see you pound on
someone.”

“Let’s see how it goes.”

When Eve let Baxter back into the room, he gave Roarke a long, wary look. “I figure
I’d’ve done the same,” was all he said, then turned to Eve. “I’ve got something to say before
we go on record.”

“Okay.” She stuck her hands in her pockets, nodded. “Go ahead.”

“This bites.”

Her lips twitched, her shoulders relaxed. He looked a great deal more uncomfortable and unhappy than she
felt. “Yeah, it does. So let’s get it over with.”

“You call your lawyer?”

“No.” She shifted her gaze to Roarke’s. “He’s my rep for this little
party.”

“Oh fine.” On a sigh, Baxter rubbed his aching jaw. “If he hits me again, I expect you
to take him down.” He pulled out his recorder, then just held it gripped in his hand. Misery was all over his face.
“Damn it. We go back some way, you know, Dallas.”

“Yeah, I know. Just do the job, Baxter. It’ll be easier all around.”

“Nothing easy about it,” he muttered, then switched the recorder on, set it on the desk. He
read off the time
and date data, the revised Miranda. “You know the drill, right?”

“I know my rights and obligations.” Because her legs were a little weak, she sat. It was
different, she thought dully, so very different to be on this side of the line. “I want to make a statement. Then you can go for
the details.”

It was like a report, Eve told herself. Like any of the hundreds of reports she’d written and filed over
the years.

Routine.

She would think of it that way, had to think of it that way to keep that icy ball out of her gut. Facts to be
recorded. Observations to be made.

But her voice wasn’t quite steady as she began. “When I responded to the scene of the
Petrinksy homicide, I didn’t remember Officer Ellen Bowers. Subsequently, I learned we had done some time at the academy
together. I don’t remember any encounters, conversations, or interactions with her before the meeting at the crime scene. Her
work on-scene was inefficient, her attitude poor. As superior officer and primary on-scene, I reprimanded her for both problems. This
incident is on record.”

“We have Peabody’s on-scene records. They’re being evaluated,” Baxter
said.

The ball of ice tried to form, but she willed it away. And this time, her voice was stronger.
“Bowers’s trainee,” Eve continued, “Officer Trueheart, proved to be observant and to know the
residents of the area in question. I requested his assistance in interviewing a witness who was known to him, and his assistance proved
helpful. This action on my part was not a personal decision but a professional one. Shortly thereafter, Officer Bowers filed a complaint
against me, citing abusive language and other technical infractions. The complaint was answered.”

“Those files and reports are also under evaluation.” Baxter’s voice was neutral, but
his eyes signaled her to keep going. Get out her facts, tell her story clearly.

“Officer Bowers was again first on when I reported to the scene in the matter of Jilessa Brown. That
incident is
also on record and shows Bowers’s insubordinate and unprofessional behavior. Her
accusation that I contacted her with threatening remarks will be proved groundless when voice prints are examined. And her
subsequent complaint has no base. She was an irritant to me, nothing more.”

She wished she had water, just one quick sip, but didn’t want to stop. “At the time she was
killed, I was en route from Central to this location. As I understand it, this time frame gives me little opportunity to have sought
Bowers out and to have killed her in the manner determined to have caused her death. My log records can be checked to verify, and I
will, if required, submit to truth testing and evaluation so as to aid your investigation and the closing of this case.”

Baxter looked at Eve and nodded. “You’re sure as hell making my job easier.”

“I want my life back.”
My badge,
she thought, but didn’t say it.
Couldn’t. “I’ll do what I have to do to get it.”

“We’ve got to answer motive here. Ah . . .” His gaze shifted
briefly, warily, to Roarke. He couldn’t say he cared for—or trusted—the cold, blue stare that answered him.
“Bowers’s logs and diaries make certain accusations regarding you and certain members of the NYPSD.
Ah . . . trading sex for professional gain.”

“Have you ever known me to trade sex for anything, Baxter?” Her tone was dry, faintly
amused. She worked fiercely to make it so. “I’ve managed to resist all your offers over the years.”

His color rose. “Come on, Dallas.” He cleared his throat when Roarke dipped his hands in
his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “You know all that’s just the usual bull.”

“Yeah, I know that.” He was often a pain in the ass, she thought—not without some
affection. He was also a good cop and a decent man. “And this is unusual bull. Straight out, then. I have never offered, traded,
or engaged in any sexual behavior in order to receive special
treatment in training or on the job. I earned my
badge, and when I wore it . . . I respected it.”

“You’ll get it back.”

“We both know there’s no guarantee of that.” Misery came back, swirled in her eyes
as they met his. “But my chances are better if you find out who killed her and why. So you’ve got my
cooperation.”

“Okay. You say you didn’t remember Bowers from the academy, yet she details a number
of incidents about you in various logs over nearly twelve years. Logically, there must have been some contact between
you.”

“None that I’m aware of. I can’t explain it, logically or otherwise.”

“She claims knowledge of your misrepresentation of evidence, of mishandling of witnesses, of
falsifying reports in order to close cases and enhance your record.”

“Those are groundless accusations. I would demand to see proof.” Temper began to inch
up, washing healthy color back into her face and a steely gleam into her eyes. “She could have written any damn
thing—that she had a flaming affair with Roarke, had six of his children, and raised golden retrievers in Connecticut.
Where’s the proof, Baxter?” She leaned forward, misery replaced by insult. “I can’t do anything but
deny, deny, deny. I can’t even face her, because somebody took her out. She can’t be officially interviewed,
sanctioned, or reprimanded. Is anybody asking why she was murdered and my butt left swinging when I was investigating a series of
deaths certain high levels didn’t want investigated?”

He opened his mouth, shut it again. “I can’t discuss departmental business with you, Dallas.
You know that.”

“No, you can’t discuss shit with me, but I can speculate.” She pushed out of the
chair and began to pace. “Taking my badge doesn’t mean they took my goddamn brain. If somebody wanted to cause
me trouble, they didn’t have to look far. Bowers fell right into their laps. Push her obsession, or whatever the hell it was she
had for me, twist her up with it, then take her out in a brutal manner so the finger can point in my direction. I’m not
only off the case, I’m out. I’m out,” she repeated. “There’s a new
investigation, and the department’s in the middle of a media frenzy screaming corruption, sex, and scandal that can’t
help but bog down the works and give whoever’s slicing out parts of people time to cover more tracks.”

She whirled back to him. “You want to close your case, Baxter, then look at the one I had to leave
behind and find the link. There’s a goddamn link, and Bowers was nothing more than a handy tool, easily disposed of. She
meant nothing to me,” she said, and for the first time, there was some pity in her voice. “She meant less to whoever
had her killed. I was the target.”

“The investigation is ongoing,” Baxter reminded her. “Feeney’s got your
load.”

“Yeah.” Considering, she nodded slowly. “They miscalculated there.”

The rest was form, and they both knew it. Standard questions with standard responses. She agreed to make
herself available for truth testing the following afternoon. When Baxter left, she put the unpleasantness of that upcoming event out of
her mind.

“You handled that very well,” Roarke commented.

“He went easy on me. His heart wasn’t in it.”

“Perhaps I should have apologized for punching him.” Roarke smiled. “But my heart
wouldn’t have been in it.”

She laughed a little. “He’s a good cop. I need good cops right now.” And thinking
of them, she engaged the ’link and put a transmission through to Peabody’s personal porta-link.

“Dallas.” Peabody’s square face glowed with relief, then immediately a cloud of
concern and guilt darkened her eyes. “You okay?”

“I’ve been better. Does your schedule allow for a meal today, Peabody?”

“A meal?”

“That’s right. This is a personal call on your personal unit.” Eve spoke carefully,
trusting Peabody to read between the lines. “And a request, if time and inclination
permit, for you to
join me at home for a meal. You’re free to bring a couple of dates. If you can’t fit this in, I understand.”

Barely three seconds passed. “It so happens I’m hungry right now. I’ll just round up
my dates. We’ll be there in less than an hour.”

“It’ll be good to see you.”

“Same goes,” Peabody murmured and broke transmission.

After a moment’s hesitation, Eve turned to Roarke. “I need data, as much as I can get, on
Bowers: her personal info, all job records, and reports. I need to access Baxter’s case files and bring up all he has so far on
her murder. I need the ME’s findings, the sweepers’ reports, any and all interview records pertaining.”

While Roarke watched, she strode around the room. “They wiped my case log at Central and here. I
want that data back, and whatever Feeney’s gathered since I got kicked. I don’t want to ask him to copy it to me. He
would, and I’m already going to ask him for more than I have a right to. I need everything I can dig on Westley
Friend’s suicide and who his closest associates were at the time of his death.”

“It so happens I already have that information, or most of it, for you.” Roarke grinned at her
when she turned around and stared at him. “Welcome back, Lieutenant.” He held out a hand to her.
“You’ve been missed.”

“It’s good to be back.” She went to him, took his hand. “Roarke, however
this turns out, the department may consider it more efficient damage control to . . . they may not reinstate
me.”

His eyes on hers, he brushed his fingers through her hair, rubbed them firm and steady over the tension at
the base of her neck. “That would be their very great loss.”

“Whatever happens, I have to do this. I have to finish what I started. I can’t walk away from
the faces I see in my sleep. I can’t turn my back on the job that saved me. If, after it’s done, it’s still over for
me . . .”

“Don’t think that way.”

“I have to prepare for it.” Her eyes were dark and steady, but he could see fear riding in
them. “I want you to know I’ll get through it. I won’t fall apart on you again.”

“Eve.” He cupped her face in his hands. “We’ll make this right. Trust
me.”

“I am trusting you. For God’s sake, Roarke, I’m going rogue. And I’m
taking you with me.”

He laid his lips firmly on hers. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“You’ll probably enjoy the hell out of this,” she muttered. “Okay,
we’d better get started. Can you do something to the computer in my office to confuse CompuGuard?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?” With a laugh, he slid an arm around her waist and started
toward the connecting doors.

It took him under ten minutes. She tried not to be impressed, but the simple fact was, it baffled her just how
quickly those clever fingers of his could seduce electronics and make them hum.

“You’re clean and clear,” he told her.

“You’re sure CompuGuard won’t click to it when I run NYPSD data on
here?”

“If you’re going to insult me, I’ll just go play with my own toys and leave you
alone.”

“Don’t be so sensitive. I could do a lot of time in a cage for this, you know.”

“I’d visit you every week.”

“Yeah, from the cage next door.” When he only grinned at that, she shifted close.
“How do I access the data?” she began, only to have him slap her hand away before she could touch the
keyboard.

“Please, you’re such an amateur.” He danced his fingers over the keyboard. The
machine hummed cooperatively, lights blinking. When a husky female computer-animated voice announced, “Transfer
complete,” Eve raised her eyebrows.

“What happened to the default voice on this?”

“If I’m going to be working on this unit, I get to pick who talks to me.”

“You’re awfully simple at times, Roarke. Now, get out of my chair. I’ve got work to
do before they get here.”

“You’re welcome,” he said just a bit testily, but before he could rise, she grabbed his
shirt, yanked, and crushed her mouth to his in a long, hard kiss.

“Thanks.”

“You’re very welcome.” He patted her butt as they shifted positions.
“Coffee, Lieutenant?”

“A couple of gallons would be a good start.” She managed a smile. “Computer, print
out stills of all crime scene photos, all pertaining files. On-screen, autopsy results on Bowers, Officer Ellen.”

Working . . .

“Yeah,” Eve said under her breath. “We’re working.”

Within thirty minutes, she had hard copies of specific data tucked in a drawer and had scanned reports to
bring herself up to date. She was ready when Feeney arrived with Peabody and McNab.

“I’ve got one thing to say,” Feeney began before Eve could speak.
“We’re not letting it go down this way. I’ve said my piece to Whitney, official and personal.”

“Feeney—”

“Just shut up.” His usually rumpled face was tight with anger, his voice clipped. When he
jabbed his finger at a chair, Eve sat automatically without even the thought of protesting. “I trained you, goddamn it, and I got
a right to say what I’ve got to say about one of mine. You let them kick you around this way, I’ll fucking kick you
harder. You got a raw deal, no question. Now it’s time to get your own back. If you haven’t filed legal protest papers,
I want to know why the hell not.”