The Improbable (19 page)

           
Ray was watching me stare at my plate. “What are you waiting for? Dig in, Eva.”

           
I didn’t respond, I was thinking of the perfect way to display my anger. Why
wasn’t I eating an omelet with potatoes? I was starving and all I could get was
fruit and bread!

           
“Well aren’t you going to eat?” Ray asked, chewing his food.

           
“Well is this my appetizer?” I responded with an attitude.

           
Ray swallowed his food and wiped his mouth. “I don’t want you to lose that good
figure of yours, Eva-Marie.”

           
I raised my eyebrow and looked away from him. What a rude asshole.

           
“Eat, Eva.” Ray commanded. “And drink your champagne before it gets warm.”

           
I tore off a small piece of the scone with my hands and chewed slowly. I was
highly upset at the fact that instead of chewing on a scrumptious piece of
omelet, a dehydrated piece of bread was rubbing up against the inside of my
mouth.

           
“Use your silverware. Why are you acting like this?” Ray questioned. It was
evident he was growing more impatient.

           
“I don’t want to eat this.”

           
“You will eat it.”

           
I knew he was my future and I knew my only job was to keep him happy, but I was
extremely fed up with him at the moment. I took my champagne flute and tossed
the liquid out.

           
“What the hell are you doing Eva? Just eat your food!” Ray glared at me from
across the table.

           
“This isn’t what I want.” I said stubbornly.

           
“We’re not getting up from this table until your food is gone, Eva-Marie.” He
told me.

           
I threw my scone over the balcony and tossed the fruit. I knew I was acting
like a child but I had really had it with him!

           
Ray’s fist slammed down onto the table. “Dammit Eva-Marie I spent good money on
this food!”

           
“It’s not what I want!” I answered.

           
Ray slammed his silverware down on the table and took a deep breath, calming
himself down. He rose from his seat and walked over to me, holding his hand
out. “Let’s not do this, Eva. Come inside, I have some music I want you to
hear.”

           
I could tell he was learning how to deal with me, reluctantly, but learning
nonetheless. When was he ever going to give up on me? Was I
really
worth
the hassle? I sighed, giving in and followed him inside to his living room.

           
Ray put a record on and slow jazz began to serenade the room, easing the
tension.

           
I stood and stared out the window as I listened to the music, trying to calm
myself down. The whole situation could’ve been avoided if Ray had given me a
proper meal, that’s all I wanted. I knew he was probably going to tell my
parents about my acting out and that truly wasn’t what I needed. I turned to
look at Ray who was staring at me already. I sighed, “I’m sorry, Ray. I just
wanted a proper meal was all, I don’t know what came over me.”

           
Ray shook his head. “All is well, Eva-Marie.” He held his hand out to me.
“Let’s dance.”

           
Okay, I hadn’t gotten over it
that
quickly. I smiled weakly and shook my
head. “Oh no, I’m fine.”

           
He half-smiled and pulled me close anyways and began swaying from side to side.

           
My body was tense under his touch and I felt awkward with him smiling at me. I
shifted awkwardly under his gaze, placing my hands on his shoulders.

           
“Loosen up, Eva.” Ray told me in a low voice.

           
I relaxed my muscles slightly and half-heartedly moved side to side with him.
He twirled me around and pulled me close again.

           
It was astonishing to see what a change in the mood there was. He seemed so…at
ease. In my mind I hoped he would forget about my behavior and not tell my
parents. I loosened up completely and even leaned my head on his chest – it was
just a dance it wouldn’t hurt, right?

           
“See? I’m not so bad, Eva.” Ray said as he lightly rubbed my back.

           
“Hmm,” was all I could
say.
It wasn’t because I was
enjoying it, but because I didn’t want to give him an answer that gave him
leeway to believing that he’d won me over.

           
Ray’s hands began to get curious as they moved down to my lower back.

           
I didn’t look at him as I moved his hands away from my bottom.

           
His hands didn’t give up. Next, they came around the front onto my stomach and
trailed up all the way to my chest.

           
The mental red flag was waving in my head. I stepped back and shook my head.
“Now Ray, I’m not comfortable with that.” I forced myself to look him in the
eye to let him know I was serious.

           
Ray chuckled and took a step toward me. “Fine. Just a kiss, then?”

           
I looked at him unsurely, not liking the look in his eyes.

           
He came closer, slowly moving his face closer to mine and landing his lips on
to mine. Oh, nothing like when David kissed me! Ray pulled back and looked into
my eyes, breathing heavily.

           
I did my best to mask the fact that I didn’t enjoy the kiss. I cleared my
throat. “Let’s just stick to dancing, shall we?” I said quietly.

           
Ray didn’t listen; he grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me in for another
kiss, more fiercely this time. I tried to pull back but his grip was too
strong! The red flag in my head was going insane when he pushed me down on to
the couch, it was then I knew I had to get out of there!

           
“No, Ray I don’t want to do this.” I tried to keep my voice from sounding
panicked. However, all the panic in my mind broke loose when he moved to get on
top of me and wrapped his hand around my neck. My eyes widened as I looked at
him with pleading eyes. “Please, I really don’t.” I said in a small voice.

           
Ray leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Remember Eva, it’s a man’s world
and what he wants…he’ll get.”

           
I cried out, begging him to stop as he kissed my neck and chest then moving
back up to my mouth, trying to silence me. I hit him repeatedly and tried to
push him away with no success. He pushed his weight down harder on me and held
my neck tighter. Ray scratched my chest when he tried to rip my shirt off
making me scream out in pain but thankfully giving up when the shirt wouldn’t
budge.

           
“You want to act up, this is what you get!” Ray growled. “No more bullshit,
Eva-Marie, no more.”

           
“Stop it! Please just stop! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I cried.

           
Ray grabbed my wrists tightly and held them together above my head, digging his
nails into my skin as he held them there. One of his hands moved to pry my legs
open and I immediately began praying that God wouldn’t let me lose my virginity
in such a way.

           
“Please stop! Please!” I yelled.

           
Ray ignored my screams and resumed kissing my neck and rubbing his free hand
all over, making my stomach twist in fear, disgust, and helplessness. When it
was apparent that he wasn’t going to give up any time soon, I shut my eyes and
then prayed that it would
at least
be over soon. Miraculously, my
prayers were answered when Ray’s doorbell rang!

           
He huffed and got up to check out the window. “Clean yourself up, you’re a
mess. My client is here.”

           
With no time to think about it, I wiped the tears from my face and the smeared
lipstick and tried to catch my breath while Ray went to open the door.

           
Ray opened the door after straightening himself up. “Mr. Golding, how are you?”

           
“Hello Mr. Jackson, am I interrupting something?” Mr. Golding asked, still
standing outside. “I saw the other car in the driveway.”

           
I grabbed my purse and my keys and bolted out the door. I sprinted to my car,
eager to get as far away from Ray as fast as humanly possible!

           
“I’ll call later to check on you, dear!” Ray called after me.

           
I started my car and took off in record time. I wanted to throw up, I felt so
disgusted! The sound of his breathing in my ear and the feeling of his hands
touching me all over played over and over in my head, driving me insane to the
point where I pulled the car over once I was close to the highway.

           
“I hate him! I hate him! I
fucking
hate him!” I yelled as I hit the
steering wheel repeatedly before I got out of the car gasping for air and sat
on the ground away from the road, leaning against the side of my car.

           
I was crying and panting, grabbing handfuls of hair and pulling them as I
wondered why I went over there in the first place. Who would I tell? Could I
even tell anyone? Definitely not David, he would kill Ray with his bare hands.
My parents? No. I didn’t want to be around anyone! I couldn’t stand the feeling
of helplessness Ray cast over me by trying to take advantage of me. It just
made me realize exactly how helpless I was in my own life – I controlled
absolutely nothing. I had no power. I cried for hours, sat there against my car
for hours.

           
Never wanting to be found.

           
Just wanting to be in my pain.
Alone
.

“W
hat’re
you cleaning up for, David? We’re just having a quick dinner and then you’re
letting her go. You shouldn’t have so much sympathy for a
negro
,
son.” Warren commented as I straightened things up at the dinner table.

           
“Stop calling her that, before I change my mind about staying in this family.”
I snapped without looking at him.

           
Warren sighed. “We both know you wouldn’t dare do that, son. Just calm down.”

           
“And dammit,
Pop
, don’t you think you could cut the
air conditioning on? It’s burning hot in here.” In order to not go off on him
any further, I went to the living room and began taking down anything that gave
my father away as the Chief of Police.

           
“What’re you doing, son?” My father asked as he watched me.

           
“I told her I was in law school. I’m undercover, remember?” I said in a flat
voice as I cleared police achievement awards from the shelves. I stopped on my
mom’s photograph, my heart instantly melting. She was so beautiful and so
happy! I wondered if she’d have the same reaction to Eva as my father did; I
mean, she’d be happy if I was happy…right?

           
“That was taken when she found out she was pregnant,” My father mentioned.

           
My resistance toward him faded as I remembered how badly I had hurt him at the
fair, using her death against him. That had been hanging in the back of my head
like a dark phantom. “That was so long ago, she looks beautiful.” I mumbled.
“Look, Pop. What I said the other night, I really am sorry, I was out of line.”

           
My father held his hand up and shook his head. “We don’t need to talk about it.
Apology accepted.”

           
I smiled weakly at him; I wanted so badly to have a real relationship with my
father, but everything he did and the way he acted made him so cold and
impossible to get through to. All along I’d been hoping that figuring out the
case would get his approval and maybe even love but then I began thinking he
was never going to change – especially after I thought about what he was making
me do to Eva. My heartbeat quickened when I saw her car pull into the driveway.

           
“She’s here,” I sighed, trying to release my anxiety over what was about to
happen.

           
“It’ll be quick and easy, son, don’t stress it. You’re doing the right thing,
you have more important issues to worry about.” My father patted me on the back
and disappeared into the kitchen.

           
I opened the door and walked out to go meet Eva, who still hadn’t gotten out
the car. “Good evening, beautiful.” I opened the door for her.

           
She had been staring straight forward with a blank face before she looked up at
me with empty eyes. “Hi David.”

           
I was thrown off by her whole demeanor; I knew what we were about to do wasn’t going
to be easy even to fake it but she knew it wasn’t real nonetheless. To top it
off she was dressed in a white button up that was buttoned all the way up her
neck and a knit cardigan – in the
summer
. What was wrong with her? “How
are you doing?” I asked, fishing for the answer so I wouldn’t have to wonder
all night.

           
Eva shrugged slowly, still staring at me with those cold eyes. “I’m fine.” She
finally got out of the car.

           
“Are you sure? You look sad.” I grabbed both sides of her face gently. “We both
know this isn’t what I really want, it’s just for him to get off of my back
about it.”

           
Eva held her hands up and took a step back. “Please don’t touch me.”

           
I furrowed my eyebrows at her. “What’s going on, Eva?”

           
“Can we just do this and get it over with?” She began walking hastily toward my
father’s house.

           
I caught up to her and grabbed her hand.

           
“I said don’t touch me, David.” She jabbed her finger at me.

           
“I just need to know that
we’re
okay before we do this.” I looked her
directly in the eyes.

           
The warmth slightly returned to her eyes as she sighed. “We’re fine, David.”
She smiled weakly at me.

           
It gave me assurance but I still wanted to know what was wrong with her.
However, I didn’t want to upset her just before our little stunt. I led her
into my father’s house and mentally prepared myself to deal with the situation.

           
“In here, David.” My father called from the dining room table.

           
I took a deep breath before entering with Eva. “Pop, this is Eva-Marie.”

           
Eva waved timidly as if she was waving at a monster to see if it would attack
her. “Hello, sir.”

           
“Oh the notorious, Eva-Marie. Please, both of you have a seat.” My father
instructed.

           
Eva sat at the end of the table directly in front of my father and I sat in the
seat adjacent to her, I wanted so badly to know what was going through her mind
at the moment but I couldn’t even put a finger on what was going through my own
mind! She looked around at the walls and the floors and then at my father.

           
“This is a nice house you have here, sir.” Eva complimented in a low voice. She
was still being sweet to him, even knowing that she wasn’t in good graces with
him – the girl was mind-blowing!

           
“Why thank you,” My father took a sip of water and then sat back and stared at
the both of us for a long moment. There was so much tension in the air it was
getting hard to breathe.

           
“Is dinner coming soon?” I asked to break the awkward silence.

           
My father shook his head. “Now David, you and I both know this wasn’t set up to
be an ordinary dinner.” He raised his eyebrows at me.

           
“Yes sir, I understand.” I replied.

           
Eva twiddled her thumbs in her lap and I could see sweat forming on her
forehead. It
was
hot in my father’s house with no air conditioning but
she also had on those winter clothes; looking at her sweat was making me hot
and uncomfortable and I didn’t need that on top of dealing with my father. As
if she read my mind Eva removed her cardigan, revealing a sleeveless button-up
and keeping her arms in her lap. “What are we here for if not dinner?” She
looked at me questioningly.

           
“We have to talk…about us.” I answered, leaning back in my chair.

           
Eva’s eyebrows came together. “What about us, David?”

           
My father sighed. “I’m going to guess that my son didn’t bother to tell you the
real reason he invited you here tonight?”

           
“I was going to get to that, let me do this Pop.” I tried to intervene before
he said some things that I didn’t plan on her hearing. But neither of them paid
attention to me. Eva’s eyes were still emotionless and empty and my father was
looking at her expectantly.

           
“No, I can’t say that he did.” Eva said in a flat tone and reached for her
glass of water. As she was reaching for her water, on her wrist I could see
nail marks dug into her skin along with a slight bruise in the shape of
fingers.

           
Instantly, rage flamed inside of me and I felt my nostrils flare. My thoughts
scattered all throughout my brain. Who hurt her? Why hadn’t she let me know
sooner? I was going to
murder
whoever it was that had put their hands on
her! But I couldn’t let my fury show, due to the present situation in front of
me. I firmly gripped my glass of water and swallowed hard, wishing it was
strong liquor to mellow me out and keep me from being so on edge.

           
“Ah, of course he didn’t.” My father clasped his hands together and leaned on
the table. “What is it exactly that you and my son have going on, Ms.
Hutchinson? From what I remember, you got him arrested the first time he met
you. Am I supposed to believe that you’re any good for him?”

           
Eva cleared her throat, still not showing any emotion. “Well, sir, that was a
misunderstanding of a night where I’d had too many drinks and thought that
David was trying to hurt me, when in actuality he was only trying to save me.”

           
“So you lied?” My father questioned.

           
“I didn’t lie, I wasn’t sure of what happened when they found me.” She said,
still in a flat tone.

           
“This has nothing to do with what he have to talk about.” I looked at him.

           
“Oh but it has everything to do with this, son.” He said and then focused his
attention back on Eva. “What business do you have with my son? You’re no good
for him.”

           
“We enjoy each other’s company, sir.” Eva answered simply.

           
“Well I’m his father and I know what’s best for him; and right now I can tell
you that he doesn’t need any useless distractions such as yourself.” My father
jabbed his finger at her.

           
I tried to intervene and get to the point but I just couldn’t find it in me to
do so. It was better him ending it with her than me, I couldn’t do it I was too
in….was I really?

           
“I don’t think I’m a distraction, I mean David would have told me…right,
David?” Eva looked at me with a questioning expression…but still with empty
eyes.

           
“I was going to,” I said in a low voice, looking down into my lap.

           
“But what?” She asked me.

           
I shook my head. “I just didn’t know how to tell you, I’m sorry but I can’t do this
with you anymore. It’s not working and you’re getting in the way of more
important things.” I sighed and bore my eyes into hers, trying my best to get
my father to believe that this was actually happening. It hurt to see her
empty, sad eyes still not responding. What was wrong with my girl?

           
“You’re two different people; he’s on the road to success and you’re nothing
but a
negro
whore that I’m sure is living off of your
father’s money that can’t offer my son a damn thing. You’re just trying to
distract my son in hopes that one day you can survive off of his money, I see
right through you and I have news for you, it’s not going to happen!” He
shouted at her.

           
“That’s way out of line, Pop!” I slammed my hand on the table, unable to listen
to him disrespect her in such a way.

           
“How else will the negro get it through her thick skull?” My father asked while
staring dead at Eva.

           
Eva’s expression
still
hadn’t changed! She was really going out without
a fight. “Well sir,” Eva said as she rose and put her cardigan back on, “I’m
sorry you feel that way about me.” She turned and looked at me, speaking near a
whisper. “David, I can’t believe I ever trusted you,” Eva shook her head, “do
us all a favor and stay out of my life – for good.” Eva turned to walk out the
door.

           
Though I knew she didn’t mean it, the words clawed at my heart, nearly making
me go and run after her. But I had to make it believable; I sighed and took a
sip of my water when I heard the door slam. Glad it was over. “Are you happy
now?” I asked without looking at my father.

           
“Ecstatic. Now I know you’ll have no distractions at work and you can finish
what you started, and get the position you deserve. It’s all in your best
interest son.” My father spoke as if he had done me a favor.

           
I shook my head in disgust; he really was a bitter man. Was there any soul left
inside of him?

           
“Would you like to stick around for dinner, son?” He asked.

           
“No, I need to go get some rest.” I rose and began heading out.

           
“This is for the best son, just remember that.” My father called before I
closed the door.

           
Eva’s car was no longer in the driveway and I hoped that she’d gone straight home
so I didn’t have to track her down around town. I hopped in my car and began
racing back to my house. There was so much going through my mind I just wanted
to scream and scream until I couldn’t hear my own thoughts anymore!  Why
did we have to go through this? Why couldn’t we just be a normal couple without
hiding each other from everyone? Why was I so crazy about her? Was I in love
with her? Is that the supernatural power she had over me? I couldn’t be….

When
I drove past Eva’s house, I saw that her car was not in the driveway. I cursed
in my head knowing that I’d have to go out and find her to make sure everything
was all right. But the search was over once I pulled into my driveway and saw
her sitting on my front steps, resting her chin in her palm.

           
I got out of the car and walked over to her. “Eva I am so sorry for everything
he said! That’s not how I pictured it going. What am I saying? I never should
have even invited you over there. He’s such a bitter man now, I’m so sorry I
put you through that Eva.”