The Impostor, A Love Story (32 page)

It was two in the morning.
Where was
Emily
? Because of my nerves, I started to worry about her
driving on the Alaskan highway. We hadn’t heard of any more
killings, but I hated the fact she had to drive so far at night
alone.

Just then, I heard the front door open. It
was like the sound of the angels. Relieved, I sighed. I opened the
door to my room, waiting for her to come down the stairs. I didn’t
hear anything.
What was she doing? Why wasn’t she coming
down
? I looked out the bedroom window to see if I could see our
car. I hadn’t heard a car. I just heard the door open. All I could
see was pitch-black outside. No sign of her.

“Steve? Steve, are you still awake?” I
glanced to see that the door was open still. “Steve, are you there?
Do you have any aspirin?” I stuck my head out the door
apprehensively.

“Hello?” I was really nervous.
Dear Lord,
be with me
. I slowly walked up the stairs. “Steve, are you
there?” Suddenly a figure popped up at the front door and surprised
me.

I gasped.

“Oh, hey, Nicole. I almost forgot to take out
the trash. If I wait till morning, they always show up before I get
it out.”

“Oh, I got a little worried when I saw the
front door open. I wasn’t sure if the wind had blown it open or
something.” There was no wind, but I had no idea what to say.

“I’m glad you are still awake. Do you have
any aspirin or anything? My head still hurts.”

“Yeah, I think I have some in the
kitchen.”

I remembered the huge hunting knife in the
drawer and followed him apprehensively. I sighed, relieved when he
opened the cabinet, and handed me the aspirin.

“Thank you.” He handed me a glass of water as
Emily pulled in front of the house.

“So, did I miss the party? I thought you all
would be asleep,” Emily said, entering the house.

“I was, but I had a headache.”

“Oh, you’re still not feeling better?” she
asked.

We turned to Steve as we walked downstairs.
“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Thanks for the aspirin,” I called back.

As Emily and I walked down stairs, I
continued. “So how was it tonight?” I motioned her to come in my
room.

“It was good. The band was great and the tips
were excellent.”

“Is Brad really pissed I didn’t show up?”

“He’s not happy.”

I was worried Steve might be listening, so I
scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to Emily.

Lock your door tonight. We need to talk
tomorrow.

It’s really important.

I’m worried he was going to do something to
Jessica.

I’m scared. I need to talk to you in the
morning.

LOCK YOUR DOOR
!

Emily gave me a questioning look.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I said loud
enough for Steve to hear if he was listening. I gave her a hug and
whispered, “I’ll explain everything tomorrow. Lock your door.”

I closed the door to my room and lay down on
the bed next to Jess. I held my little girl tightly, as if I could
protect her.

I should have listened to Dylan. How I missed
him! He would protect us. But why didn’t he call? He called every
few days last time he was gone. This time, he only called once
since he left. Maybe the mention of the apartment and Jess asking
him to be her daddy made him feel things were going too fast. Maybe
he decided he wasn’t ready to be a father figure to someone. I held
tight to Jessica.
What have I done
?
Why did we move
here
?

I sat in the darkness, bombarded with
questions, watching the sun rise through the window. I couldn’t
sleep. Every creak, every noise, put me on edge.
W
ho was
the man upstairs? Are we in danger?

When Steve finally got up and left in the
morning, I knew we had only a short time to search the house for
evidence. I gently tapped on Emily’s door. Entering, I sat on her
bed and explained to her my worries. I asked her if she would take
Jessica to stay with my mom, while I tried to make some money. I
hoped I was wrong, but we began our search in the living room to
make sure.

“See look, every one of these videos is for
girls. Not one is for boys.” I listed them out.

“Yeah, that makes no sense.” Emily shook her
head. We searched around on the entry level.

“It doesn’t make sense that there are no
pictures of them, does it?”

“Yeah, it’s really weird he doesn’t have any
out, especially since they have been gone for so long.” Emily
searched the bookshelves for photo albums in case there was
something we overlooked.

“I’m gonna run upstairs. Can you keep watch
for me?”

“Be careful. If I yell ‘Do you want lunch?’
then he’s home.” Emily searched the kitchen, staying in view of the
window. I rushed upstairs, realizing in the movies people always
seem to get back when someone is looking through their stuff.

I entered the first door to the left. It was
Steve’s room. I looked first in the obvious places, like on his
dresser, but I didn’t find pictures.

I tugged at the top drawer and a glass
spilled over.
Damn what have I done?
I quickly wiped up the
water with my shirt. My hands were shaking.
Would he notice the
half-empty glass?
I couldn’t do it. I abandoned the idea of
searching his drawers, deciding to first see if there was a kids’
bedroom. I crept down the hall and sighed with relief—a room with
two single beds dressed in Thomas the Tank Engine comforters, a
little train track, and blue curtains. It was a good sign. I rushed
out of the room. Maybe he had been taking out the trash last night.
Relieved, I glanced in the third room, a guest bedroom.
That
must be the nanny’s room
, I thought as I sprinted down the
stairs quickly.

“I didn’t find any pictures, but at least
it’s obvious he wasn’t lying about his sons. They have a room
upstairs.” Emily followed me downstairs to my room where Jessica
was playing with her dolls.

“Nicole, let me show you something.” Emily
motioned me over, pulling out a newspaper article. We walked into
Emily’s room. “Nicole, they found another body. It’s a man’s body
this time—a man in his twenties. They haven’t been able to identify
it yet. This one was stabbed and left in the woods.” She spoke in a
soft voice. “I don’t think you should stay here when I leave with
Jess. Maybe you read things wrong yesterday, but maybe you didn’t.
I think you should move out when we leave.”

“I’ll move out fast, but if I leave, I will
never get my money back. We paid this month’s rent. I don’t have
money, yet, to get a place in town.”

“You’re so far from Anchorage. Maybe you
could stay with Katie or Bradley until you have enough money to get
a hotel. It would make it easy to get to work. Brad is a good
friend of Dylan’s. He won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I think I’ll be okay. I’m probably just
being paranoid. I really do need to get that money back. Dylan will
kill me if he finds out I gave it to the one person he was trying
to protect me from. God, I feel so stupid.”

“Nikki, he will kill you if he finds out you
put yourself in danger to get his money back. Don’t be stupid.
You’re just too trusting, Nicole. You look for the good in
everyone. I hate to say it, but you are still way too naive. I’m
worried about leaving you here. Why don’t you come home with
us?”

“Emily, I can’t go back now. Ronald is really
upset I left, and I’m afraid what he might do to me this time. Or
even my family. We know so many of the same people; I’d be scared
to talk to anyone. That was so messed up. Bobby told him where I
was going to be.”

“Nikki, you need to get out of here. I don’t
think Steve is going to give the money to you. If the nanny stole
the money from you all, he’s not going to give it back.”

Tears started falling down my cheeks. “I feel
so stupid. Why did we come here? I should have listened to Dylan.”
I gave her a hug. “Emily, he hasn’t called me since he left. I
don’t know why. He told me he loved me. Now maybe he realizes he
doesn’t. I feel like an idiot. I was finally falling in love again.
I was finally letting down my guard, and he stopped calling. He
changed his mind. He dumped me without the courtesy of a phone
call.”

“I’m sure he’s just busy. He is crazy about
you.”

“Then why hasn’t he called?”

I felt like my world was falling apart. My
daughter had to leave again, my best friend was going away, my
boyfriend left me, and I was broke.

“Come back with us, Nicole.”

“I love it here in Alaska, Emily. I want to
rebuild my savings and bring Jess back. I don’t want to go home
right now. Ronald always seems to know when I get home. I can’t
face him right now. I’m terrified of him, Emily. He would’ve beaten
me again if we weren’t surrounded by people. I need my distance.
And I can’t go home with nothing. I need to be stronger. Right now,
I’m a failure.” I wiped the tears from my eyes.

“You’re not a failure, Nicole. You have just
been too trusting. That is why I’m afraid to leave you here
alone.”

“I can’t leave. I need to have some money
before I return. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet. I
need to be able to provide a better life for Jessica. If I leave
now, I’ll be stuck in another dead-end job and have to struggle to
make ends meet. If I sacrifice a little now, her life will be
better in the future. I can’t leave a failure, Emily.”

“You’re not a failure Nikki,” Emily gave me a
hug. “I’m just worried about you.”

“You know what is weird, Nicole? Katie said
Alan left without saying goodbye. She said they were getting
serious, and then one day Alan didn’t show up for a date. She was
asking if I knew anything about it. Now Timothy is not showing up
to work, out of the blue . . . it’s just—I don’t know . . . it
makes you think. Steve owed both of them a lot of money for work.
Nicole, he owes you a lot of money. You just need to be
careful.”

“I’ll move back to Anchorage really soon.
Maybe I can stay with Katie till I can afford a place on my own. I
will ask this week. Once I’m able to work a little bit, I’ll move
into a place in town. I don’t want to be in this house, either.
I’ll just stay a few weeks at the most if no one lets me crash at
their place, and I will lock my door at night. If he doesn’t pay me
soon, I’ll know I have to just accept that I lost the money. I
won’t push it. I think I’ll be okay. I’ll get out of here quickly,
I promise.”

I grabbed the phone and called the bar;
hoping Brad wouldn’t be too upset with me. “Bradley, I’m so sorry
about last night. I moved into this stupid place ‘cause the guy
said he had a live-in nanny. The nanny still hasn’t shown up. I
started to leave Jess with him out of necessity, but couldn’t do
it. I had a weird feeling, and I couldn’t take any chances. I don’t
want to lose my job, but can you take me off the schedule again
till I can figure something out?”

“Yeah, it sucks. Emily told me. Listen,
Nicole, I was talking to my sister last night. She lives over there
in Wasilla, and said she would be willing to help out for a few
days. She doesn’t want it to be a regular thing, but she said she
would let Jessica come over for a week, just to help out. She said
Jessica could sleep with her daughter, and you could pick her up in
the morning. She didn’t want you showing up at two in the
morning.”

“Are you serious? Bradley that would be
awesome. I really need the money. Is there any way Jessica and I
could meet her first? I would feel more comfortable than just
dropping her off there.”

“I guarantee she will be a hell of a lot
safer than some perv you met at a bar.”

“Yeah, this was probably the stupidest thing
I have ever done. I admit it. I’m sure she is fine, but you know,
she is related to you and all.” I hoped he could hear the sarcasm
in my voice.

“Funny. Listen, I gotta go. Do you have
something to write her number on?”

I grabbed a pen and wrote it on my hand.
“Yeah, what is it?”

He gave me the number. “You should come in
tonight. This band is really good, and it’s a Saturday night. Come
in, we need you.”

“I’ll call her now. What is her name?

“Karen.”

“Thank you, Brad. I really appreciate your
help.”

“Oh and Nicole, I don’t know if you heard,
but they picked up that creep, Chuck. He was arrested for rape—sick
bastard. You don’t have to worry about him bothering you.”

A feeling of relief washed over me.

I went upstairs. “Emily, why don’t we stick
some of the things in the trunk now, before he gets home?”

“What if he shows up?”

“I don’t know, we can say we are dry cleaning
or something?”

We packed the trunk with a load of stuff. We
had accumulated so much; it no longer fit in our suitcases easily.
I packed all of the things from my shopping spree with Dylan, some
of Jesse’s favorite stuffed animals, and most of her clothes. As
long as we kept the closet doors closed, Steve wouldn’t know
anything was gone.

I walked back inside. The blank canvas sat in
the corner of my room. It stared back at me. Opening the drawer, I
pulled out the sealed paints.
Why can’t I create? Why haven’t I
even tried
? I took them to the car and stuck them in the trunk,
thinking perhaps they would forever go untouched. But they had a
special meaning to me. A new beginning. Everything was changing,
but this too will be a new beginning. Somehow everything was going
to be all right.

As Emily brought out her last bag, I got in
the car with Jess to meet the sitter. Jessica held my hand tight as
we walked up the paved sidewalk to the brick house. Karen,
Bradley’s sister, answered the door with her six-year-old daughter,
Mary. Mary grabbed Jess’s hand and quickly the girls were off
playing with Barbies in the other room as if they were the best of
friends. I was so relieved.