The Illusionists (19 page)

‘You don't even know what the Talent is,' she continued. ‘Well, you do, but you sounded like you'd read about it in a report. Which is interesting, Mussyer Frith, because it's your obsession. But you don't sound like a man who's obsessed.'

‘So you believe me?' he said.

Please say yes.

She was gazing into nothing, her chin on her hand. ‘You're different every time we meet,' said the witch. ‘I can never keep up with you. But then none of it's in the right order.' She smiled a peculiar little smile, but he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about and was in no mood to quiz her further with this pounding headache.

‘Will you help me, Zelle Penhallow?' he said.

‘It's Fernie,' she replied absently, and he knew then that she would.

Frith finished the rest of the cake. It was incredibly good, dense and lemony sweet.

‘We'll get started in the morning,' she said. ‘You can come back about ten.'

His heart sank. Walk back three miles, now?

She was looking at him archly. ‘I'm not a fan of gossip,' she said. ‘And I ain't sure you are, too. So you best get on back to the inn.'

But there was something more playful about her tone.

Fernie handed him a wrapped bundle. ‘Take the rest of the cake,' she said. ‘You'll probably want more when you wake up.'

He felt better than he had in days, despite the headache. ‘It's very good cake,' he said.

‘I know.'

A walk actually sounded good right now.

Frith left the kitchen, the cake under his arm.

She curled up on the bed.

Livie had let her stay one more day. Tomorrow morning, Cho said, she'd have to start thinking about what she was going to do next. Rue had nodded along, her thoughts only of White. It had to be tonight, then, didn't it?

It took a while for the sleeping powder to pull her under. Every minute of that she spent concentrating fiercely on White. If he was still in Angle Tar, it was late enough there for him to be asleep. If he wasn't asleep, well  …  she'd keep trying.

White
, she said his name in her head, as her eyes closed.
White, White, White.
Like a chant, a call out into the dark.
Please come to me. Please.

There was no wait. If time passed, she didn't feel it. There was falling asleep, and then there was him, in the black. He was waiting for her on the same little couch as always. He sat, his elbows resting on his knees, looking up expectantly.

Her desperation, her fear, it all melted away when she caught sight of him.

‘You're here!' she said.

‘Because of you. You pulled me here.'

Her face changed, and he saw it.

‘You know about that?' she said.

‘I do now.'

Rue looked away. ‘So this is real,' she said, at last. ‘I mean  …  we're sharing a dream right now. My dream. You're somewhere and I'm somewhere, but here  …  we're together.'

‘I think so.'

She stood, uncertain for a moment of what she wanted to do now she had him. She hadn't thought further than this.

‘I've been trying to find you,' he said. He stood up, holding his hands loosely at his sides, awkward. ‘In the real. But it's impossible. I don't know where you are.'

‘I've been trying to find
you
. But they said you left Capital and I didn't know where else to look.'

‘I'm moving around a lot. What about you?'

‘I could tell you exactly where I am. Would that work?'

He shook his head. ‘Not unless I'd been there before.'

There was nothing else for it, then.

Rue held out her hand. He looked at it strangely. She could see him more clearly now, clearer every time. It wasn't arrogance. It was nerves. He didn't seem to know how to behave around her.

‘What if I tried to pull you out?' she said. ‘If you followed me.'

He looked at the ground, his face blank. ‘Through a dream?' he said at last. ‘I've no idea. I didn't even know
this
was possible.'

Rue raised her eyebrows, swallowing the smile that threatened to curl her mouth. He was always so serious.

‘What's there to lose?' she said lightly.

‘Our minds? Our lives?'

‘Well. There's a risk of that with everything we do, isn't there?'

He looked at her. Assessing.

‘This seems to be the only way,' she said. ‘I want to see you in the real again. I want to
see
you.'

He hesitated a moment, then took her hand.

How to leave a dream.

Don't think about it. If you think it might all fall apart.

Just go.

She turned and put her back to him, gripping his fingers tight.

Wake up,
she thought.
Wake up now.

She closed her eyes. Calm wasn't the way, was it? Not for her. Stress did it. She willed her heartbeat to go faster.

Put it this way,
said a voice inside her head.
If you can't do this, you may never see him again. Remember what the Ghost Girl said?

If you can't do this  …  he dies.

Her pulse skipped manically.

WAKE UP. I WANT TO WAKE UP NOW.

She opened her eyes.

Light. Bed, underneath. Good. Still curled up.

Rustling from the floor. She sat up carefully and looked over the side, her heart hammering.

White was bent over on all fours, his head hanging down. Hair loose, draped and pooled on the carpet, hiding his face.

Rue slid off the bed, crouching in front of him. She meant to touch him, to pull him up, but couldn't quite.

‘White?' she said anxiously.

A small grunting sound came from the bent shape.

‘White? Look up. Tell me you're okay.'

His pale face tilted up to her. ‘That was  …  strange,' he said.

‘Are you okay?' Rue repeated.

‘I think so.' He uncurled carefully and leaned his back against the side of the bed. His long legs were a jumble. He stretched one out and bent the other, using it to prop up his elbow and lean his head on his hand. All this Rue watched, each movement so odd to her now that they were so close and she could see him. After all this time, he was here and real and right,
right
here.

‘I feel fine,' she ventured.

He managed a small laugh. ‘Something you can do better than me. I've finally met my match.'

Rue hugged her knees close, wrapping her arms around them.

‘Is this really real, then?' she said. ‘We're not still dreaming?'

‘It's hard to tell when I'm with you. But I don't usually feel so sick in dreams.'

He rolled his head towards her. His black eyes landed on her face, and she felt her belly roll.

‘It's so strange to hear you speak in World,' said Rue, soft.

‘And you.'

‘In a bad way?'

‘Not at all.'

Rue felt the change, then, all of a sudden.

‘We're different,' she said.

‘Things have happened.'

‘Yes.'

He contemplated her for a moment.

‘Would you rather it was how it used to be?' he said. ‘At the beginning?'

She made a disgusted sound. ‘No,' she said, firmly. ‘I was an idiot.'

He smiled. And he smiled in the real. His smile in the real was worth a thousand in a dream, because it was his face really doing it. His muscles and his will.

‘You're very beautiful,' he said in a rush, and then cleared his throat. ‘I didn't do that very well. Sorry.'

She wanted to hide away. Her blush was radioactive. The room would melt down.

Don't sit there and squirm, Rue. Say something back!

‘I  … ' she tried. ‘Um. You make me feel sick.'

His eyes widened.

THREYA TAKE US,
screamed her mind.
YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST GIRL IN ALL THE WORLD.

‘I mean,' she said hurriedly, ‘since the beginning, whenever I see you, I feel sick. Really low down inside. I've never felt sick over anyone before. And after I've seen you, I can't think about anything but you, not for hours. It wasn't always good thoughts. You annoyed me a lot.'

OH MY GODS. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP OPENING YOUR MOUTH?

‘You annoyed me, too,' he said, and she looked up, surprised. ‘It was because I couldn't work you out at all. I tend to hate things that take me by surprise.'

Rue smiled. ‘And I hate things that I don't know the truth of. You're such a mystery.'

‘Not to you. You always seemed to know just what I was about. I couldn't hide anything.'

‘I didn't know you liked me,' she said simply.

White looked away. ‘I should have said something.'

‘I should have, too. Maybe I wouldn't have left. Maybe  … '

But she didn't need to say any more.

They were both sorry, and it was done. She had made him think about Wren. She could see it in his face. Wren made her think of the Ghost Girl, and what she had promised to do.

But it could wait, couldn't it? He was ill, and tired. He was here, and Wren was not. It was all fine.

‘Get into bed,' she said. ‘Maybe you'll feel better if you lie down for a minute.'

‘Where are we?' he said, as he levered himself up from the floor.

‘A friend's house. No one you know.'

Rue watched him stretch out carefully on the bed. He hadn't undressed. A whole level of awkward neither of them had the ability to face right now. She slid in beside him, careful to keep a slice of mattress between them.

He had his eyes closed. ‘What time is it here?' he muttered.

‘Late. Sleep.'

Silence.

She had never been in bed with a boy before. The bed was not the same. The room was not the same. His weight there drew everything to him.

She shifted, trying to arrange the comforter so that it covered them both.

‘Don't go,' he said, suddenly, his eyes still closed. ‘Don't go anywhere, please. Stay there until I wake up.'

‘Okay,' said Rue. ‘Promise.'

It was very warm.

Something had woken her. Maybe it was the fact that at some point she didn't remember she had pressed herself to his side, one leg draped over his thigh. She could feel his arm under her neck, and his fingers tangled in her hair. She felt them pull as she raised her head.

Rue looked at her hand in surprise. It was on his chest. His bare chest. Bare and pale, because his shirt was no longer in the way. He must have taken it off. His skin was warm.

She looked across to his face, worried for a moment that he was already awake and wondering why she was staring so much, but his eyes were still closed.

Then a noise came from outside the door. A knock.

‘Rue,' said a voice. ‘Come on. You've been sleeping forever again, and it's late. You're starting to worry me.'

It was Cho.

Rue stared at the door, frozen.

Cho had not even entered her head. White had driven everything else out of it.

She had not one single idea what to do.

‘Rue.'

She opened her mouth to say something. Anything. ‘I'm fine. I'll be up in a minute.' That was what she should have said. But in the time it took for nothing to come out, she had glanced back at White's face, catching his open eyes. And Cho had opened the door and come into the room.

She stopped dead. Her gaze went from White to Rue, and back to White again.

Well, at least now I know he's definitely here and I'm not dreaming,
thought Rue.

She watched Cho's mouth open. Her own did the same, an unconscious response. But nothing came out. Again.

The three of them were silent. Rue glanced at White. His eyes were on Cho.

Cho turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Rue felt White's chest contract as he struggled up, suddenly galvanised. She pushed herself back from him. He was staring at the opposite wall.

‘That was  …  my sister,' he said, his voice still thick with sleep.

‘Yes.'

He turned to her. His eyes were blank.

‘You know my sister,' he said.

Rue watched him nervously. ‘It's a long story. Yes.'

‘How?'

‘Um. Maybe later. Maybe now we go and find her. I think that's a good idea.'

‘Okay,' he said, still blank.

Shock, Rue decided.

She could have wrung her own neck. Why hadn't she told him? Why hadn't it even crossed her mind to mention it? Why hadn't she even thought about Cho in all this?

She watched him slide out of bed. He bent down, his hair slipping forward over his bare shoulders, and retrieved his shirt from the floor. Rue got up, relieved to find that she hadn't disrobed in the middle of the night.

Cho
, she thought miserably.

She went out into the hallway, thrumming with nerves.

‘Cho!' she called.

She took the stairs two at a time. What if Cho had run out of the house or something? Well, she couldn't Jump, so she couldn't have gone far. Rue looked in every room. All empty. The last place was the social room.

She won't be there,
thought Rue.
She's gone.

But she was. She was at the food unit, stabbing at buttons with her fingers.

‘Cho.'

Cho turned. Her face was thunderous.

Rue stopped. ‘I'm really sorry. I should have said something. I just  …  I didn't think.'

Silence.

‘It only happened a few hours ago,' she said. ‘I pulled him here. It was me, not him. I've been trying to find him, you see. And he said he's been trying to find me.'

‘It's fine,' said Cho.

It was so clearly not fine.

‘Though I don't expect Livie will be too happy about it when she hears. She's still thinking you should go today.'

‘Okay,' said Rue, though her heart sank. Well, if she had to go, then she would.

‘Okay?' said Cho incredulously. ‘Okay?! So you're just going to sod off with him and leave me behind? My own brother?'

Rue blinked. ‘What? But you said –'

Cho's gaze shifted, and Rue knew that White had come into the social room behind her. The chilly silence had gone. This was explosive Cho.

‘Three years!' she screamed, her eyes fixed on White. ‘Three years, and not one fucking message! Not one little jack into Life just to tell me that you were okay!'

White was taken aback. ‘There's no signal in Angle Tar –' he began.

‘You selfish bastard! I hate you! You left and you never looked back! I hate your guts! I wrote you letters, and I
know
you got them, because they disappeared out of our hiding place! I can't believe I wasted my time trying to talk to you. What was I even thinking?! You couldn't care less about me, or the rest of your family!'

‘I got your letters,' said White.

‘You never answered! You must have used your stupid Talent to come back to World to get those letters! You could have written me something back and put it in the hiding place, or sent me a Life message, even if you couldn't
bear
to come and see me!'

‘I was too afraid to jack in. And I was too afraid to come and see you. They would have found me. You would have been in troub—'

‘Oh please! They'd never have found you! No one could ever find you! You can just go dancing off into the sunset whenever you feel like it! That's your problem, Jacob! Why didn't you care?' Cho stopped. The anger had mutated to hurt, written plainly across her face. ‘Why didn't you care about me?'