The Icing on the Corpse (12 page)

After dinner, I managed a quick word with McCracken while Stan warmed up the Buick.

“See? I'm being nice to my sister.”

“You call that nice?”

“I'm a MacPhee. It's as nice as we get.”

“Christ.”

“So, any word on the results of the blood tests?”

“What blood tests?”

Some people shouldn't try to lie. But I would have thought after a career in the police force, McCracken could handle a fib. Of course, dinner with my family can leave the most capable person vulnerable.

“I assume the surveillance officers must have conked out. I'm sure you would have checked that.”

“I can't talk about it. That case is under internal review.”

“Three officers snoring like hibernating bears when there's a crazed killer on the loose? I should damn well hope it's under review. High time, too. Let's hope they find the internal connection to Benning while they're investigating.”

Sometimes you have to touch a nerve.

“You're too much. You know that, Camilla?”

Sure I knew it.

I
lay on my comforter, feeling the results of too much pork tenderloin and too many fresh rolls. Not to mention too much chocolate raspberry mousse. It was well past midnight, and it would take more than sheep to get me to sleep.

This wedding was making my sisters crazy if they gave it a higher priority than Elaine's incarceration. Their reaction to Benning's demise might be understandable, but I couldn't think of a single judge who would let sentiment justify such a nasty bit of vigilante justice.

Of course, Elaine's situation took the heat off Lindsay, which was one thing to feel better about. Not that my feelings had anything to do with anything. I snapped upright in bed. Mrs. Parnell's little calico cat went flying. That's what was wrong. I was letting the way I felt about Elaine cloud my judgement. It wouldn't be the first time I'd been betrayed by feelings. But in my line of work, justice must be the guiding principle, no matter what the outcome.

Time to get my priorities straight and to use a little logic. Logic told me Elaine could have killed Benning, but she wouldn't sneak around in the middle of the night to do it. For my own peace of mind, I needed to eliminate Lindsay as a suspect. I needed to squish any sympathy. To save Elaine, I needed to identify the real killer.

I think best on paper. I headed for my desk and fished out a notepad and pen, just as the doorbell rang. Mrs. Parnell stood, leaning on her walker and wrapped in a cloud of smoke. “Good evening, Ms. MacPhee. I thought you might want some company.”

“Its the middle of the night, Mrs. P. Why would I want company?”

“I could not help but notice the light on in your apartment.”

“With all due respect, we are on the sixteenth floor and you live on the opposite side of the building. You can't see my lights. And anyway, it's time you stopped lurking in the corridor half the night. It's unsettling for the neighbours, especially me.”

“Step with me into the hallway and close the door, and you will clearly observe light through the frame.”

Stepping into the hallway in my chenille robe in the wee small hours was not the smartest thing I'd ever done. The new pneumatic door swung shut behind me and the automatic double lock clicked firmly.

“Consider this. Since you're locked out. Let us pop over and have a quick nightcap.”

“I believe you have a key.”

“Ah, yes. Where did I put it? Let us put our heads together and think where I might have put it for safekeeping.”

I followed her back to 1608 and accepted a small glass of Harvey's Bristol Cream. “But you'd better find the key soon, Mrs. P.”

“Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. But first, I must conclude you are troubled, or else you would have been sleeping. Why not use this time to discuss the situation?”

Why not indeed? Mrs. Parnell was smarter than anyone else I knew and far less likely to let foolish feelings overwhelm her common sense.

“Perhaps you could use a bit of help from an old soldier?”

“I don't need help, Mrs. P., Elaine does.”

“Ms. Ekstein is not a woman I've ever cared for greatly.”

“Lots of people feel that way. But all the same, she never could have murdered anyone, even Benning.”

“Tell me, Ms. MacPhee, can you be certain?”

“I am absolutely convinced.”

“Be that as it may, it's not as though she didn't bring all this trouble on herself.”

I couldn't agree, at least not out loud. “Neither here nor there. Anyway, someone's definitely trying to frame her. The information hasn't been released to the media yet, but the police have a videotape of an unidentified person wearing Elaine's fake leopard coat and hat depositing the body in the Crystal Garden.”

“Ah ha! Videotaped proof. And she says she did it. No wonder you are convinced of her innocence, Ms. MacPhee.”

“No need to be sarcastic. The person in Elaine's hat and coat kept his or her face turned away. And if it had been Elaine, she'd have stopped to thumb her nose at the camera.”

Mrs. Parnell sipped her sherry. When she came up for air she said, “Perhaps she didn't see the camera.”

“No. She's been involved in so many women's committees on safety and security, she'd know where there were cameras, security guards, emergency phones in a downtown area in the night. Plus I am sure you realize, she couldn't kill someone in cold blood.”

“Nevertheless, I expect it will do her a bit of good being locked up.”

“Let me say this one more time. Elaine did not commit this crime. She might be her own worst enemy, but she does not belong in jail.”

“I concede, Ms. MacPhee. I suppose we should rise to the occasion. So what is our plan of attack?”

I plunked my glass on the table. “I think someone made fools of all of us. We're too emotionally involved with Elaine.…”

“Speak for yourself.”

“…and Lindsay.”

“Ah, yes. Lindsay.”

“We need to figure out what's really going on here. I'll talk, you react.”

“Splendid. Let us begin with the big question: if not Ms. Ekstein, then who?”

“
I'll
do the talking. Okay, in a typical murder, the guilty party is likely either a spouse, lover, family member or close friend, or a business associate with serious cash to gain or lose, or some drugged-out thug who meets the victim in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

She nodded. She loved this kind of thing.

“Call me sentimental,” I said, “but I figure you, Alvin, and Merv are not the perpetrators.”

“Excellent. I will assume the same for you, Ms. MacPhee. And surely you can eliminate the random mugger. Whoever did this was organized, mobile and had done all the proper reconnaissance work.”

“Never mind reconnaisance work, the killer must have known Elaine well in order to set her up by wearing her clothes. Otherwise that video didn't make sense.”

“It is not necessary to keep banging your glass on the table.”

“If you'll give me a chance to talk, I won't have to. Let's see, the spouse is usually the most likely suspect. But Rina was dead long before Benning's body rolled into the Crystal Garden.”

“Someone in the late Ms. Benning's family might have the motivation,” Mrs. P. said.

“I thought of that, but how could they have framed Elaine?”

Mrs. P. wasn't giving up. “Nevertheless, let us leave no stone unturned.”

Lucky me, I had my pen and paper. I started a TO DO list for Alvin and wrote “leave no stone unturned” on it.

“Lovers are right up there with spouses,” I said.

“Well, Ms. MacPhee, Lindsay is the most obvious of the lovers. Let us speculate that she exited the house in the night while we conveniently slept, slipped into Elaine's hat and coat and wheeled Benning's body into the Crystal Garden, all the while keeping her lovely face averted from the cameras. She certainly had the means and opportunity to drug us. And presumably him. He would not have been afraid of her.”

I hated this version.

“And what if Lindsay did kill him? She had reason enough. I quite like the girl,” Mrs. Parnell said.

“You think I don't? Lindsay definitely had means, opportunity and big-time motive. The police wouldn't have to work hard to convince the Crown about that. She feared for her life and rightly so. She was much better off with him dead. She said it was time she opted for fight over flight.”

“High time she did, too. Good for her.”

“If he contacted her, she could easily have lured him to meet her. But it's still murder and premeditated. And may I remind you, if Lindsay did do it, that means she's deliberately framed Elaine.”

Mrs. Parnell topped up her sherry. Lester and Pierre cheeped.

I rubbed my forehead. “On the other hand, let's use our brains. Lindsay's so delicate, she'd never have the strength to move a body.”

“Nonsense, Ms. MacPhee, were you truant during all your high school physics classes?”

So I'd skipped a few of them, but how did she know? “What?”

“Pulleys, wheels, incline planes, winches and other contrivances. Don't forget the pyramids, Ms. MacPhee. Moving the body wouldn't be the big problem. No, in favour of Lindsay's innocence, I would say she loved Ralph Benning.”

“I'm with you there, but we have to think it through. There's something else troubling me. When we saw her in the morning, she was not wearing the same outfit she fell asleep in. Remember that cream-coloured cashmere ensemble? It should be in her home somewhere. It's not. I was searching for it when I got into that dust-up with Merv and Alvin.”

“Another indication that she'd gone out,” she said.

“What do you mean, another one?”

“Did you notice her boots lying in a puddle in the foyer in the morning?”

“Yes.” I hadn't realized Mrs. P. had spotted them too.

“But how would she have eluded the officers outside?” Mrs. Parnell sipped her sherry speculatively.

“They were obviously drugged too. I'm certain of that.”

“Ah! The pizza or the coffee?”

“Well, Lindsay didn't touch her pizza.”

“Everyone else tore into theirs.”

“That's the bad news. And everybody drank coffee. Even the cops, although we didn't actually see them drink it. Everybody except Lindsay.”

“Troubling. But how would Lindsay have known where to find Elaine's coat?” A stream of smoke wafted by my face.

“She didn't need to know in advance. She could have nipped the keys to the SUV, spotted the coat and hat and used them to throw suspicion onto Elaine.”

“To cast suspicion on a friend, that is not in the least bit sporting. If she did that, she'll get no sympathy from these quarters.”

“Wait a minute, this is all conjecture. I still don't think it was either Elaine or Lindsay. Elaine's nutty, but not cruel, and this was a cruel crime. I can't imagine Lindsay carrying out such a calculated scheme. Never mind showing enough imagination to encase the bastard in ice. But if the police or the Crown get wind of the fact Lindsay left the house, they might even decide Elaine and Lindsay colluded to kill Benning.”

“They could both end up in the hoosegow. We will have to get busy, Ms. MacPhee.” She leaned over and refilled my glass before I could protest.

“You bet. And while we're busy, we should ask ourselves why they're both lying. You can stay up and do that. This sherry is messing up my brain, and I need a good night's sleep so I can think clearly in the morning. So hand over my key.”

“Young people. Personally, I believe sleep is highly overrated.”

I had a faint post-sherry throb in my temple when Alexa showed up at my door, in full make-up, at eight-thirty the next morning.

“No can do. I have a full slate today. And I'm already way behind schedule.”

“This will take a minute.”

“Look, Alexa, I see the light of madness in your eyes. But even so, we both know it will not take a minute for me to pick out a bridesmaid's dress. I don't have a spare couple of hours today. So forget it.”

“Not a chance. I'll be in your face until you get that dress, so get with the program.”

In your face? Get with the program?
What had happened to my warm-hearted favourite sister? I headed for the kitchen.

“You know, Alexa,” I said as the coffee worked its slow, slow way through the drip, “this wedding has eaten your brain. You know, Paul and I just eloped, if you remember…”

Talk about a reaction. “Of course I remember.”

“Why are you yelling?”

“Maybe you and Paul were happy, but no one else was.”

“What?”

“Who do you think dealt with Daddy, Little Miss Totally Utterly Selfish?”

My next door neighbour banged on the wall.

“Fine, maybe my elopement wasn't such a big hit with the family. So what?”

“So what? So what? The
elopement
, as you so casually call it, was the worst calamity ever in our family.”

“Be serious.”

“How do you think Daddy reacted when his youngest daughter married outside the Church? It almost killed him.”

“Keep your voice down. Do you think I want to get evicted?”

“Easy for you. Daddy thought you were going to hell and you were
boinking
on a beach somewhere…

“Boinking?” That was hardly fair. Paul and I had had an ideal honeymoon, nibbling
beignets
, moving to the street music of New Orleans, making love. Not that I ever let myself think about that.

“Who do you think calmed Daddy down? I respected your choice. I didn't have the choice of a beautiful wedding the first time, and I want one.”

“Fine. But I have to get Elaine out of jail.”

“My
wedding is
more important.”

“Elaine is more important than some outdated mating ritual.” Oh, dirty trick. She started to cry. “Come on, Alexa. Calm down.”

“I will not. You're miserable because you have no one in your life, and you're so grouchy you'll never have anybody either and you want everyone else to suffer too.”