The Husband Recipe (19 page)

His eyes met hers, and he saw her hesitation. Some of the wind went out of her sails; some of the heat there cooled. Her voice was definitely cool when she said, “May I speak to your children?”

The whispering. The cahoots. “What have they done?”

“I’d really prefer to take this up with them, if you don’t mind.”

Cole turned and yelled, calling the kids to the front door. They came, along with Janet. When they saw Lauren standing there, they were chagrined—but not surprised. Three heads dropped; they all stared at the carpet.

Lauren walked into the house. She ignored him; she ignored Janet. Her attention was entirely on the children. “Why?” she asked softly. It was the kind of
why
that could break a man’s heart, if he listened closely for the pain within it.

Meredith’s shoulders rounded, as if she were trying to shrink into herself. Hank shuffled his feet and continued to stare at the carpet. It was Justin who bravely lifted his head and stepped forward. “We’re not going to let some stinky old television man take you away.”

“Yeah,” Hank said softly. “You don’t belong in New York, you belong here. We figured if they thought you’d made the tuna casserole and burned the peas they wouldn’t want you for their stupid show.”

“Oh, no,” Cole whispered. “What have you three done?”

Meredith, the oldest, the one who really should’ve known better, hadn’t said a word. Cole stepped closer, took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. He was angry, he was curious, but the tears and the sorrow in his daughter’s eyes softened it all.

“I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t want her to go. None of us do. You don’t want her to leave, do you, Dad?” A couple of fat tears ran down her cheeks.

Janet stepped forward. “Cole, leave the girl alone. Can’t you see she’s upset?”

Cole raised a stilling finger in Janet’s direction. She didn’t like it, but she understood and she backed away.

Meredith spoke to her aunt. “It was Miss Lauren who made lunch today, not me. I tried to cook, but I messed it all up. I burned everything because I was trying to do too much at once.”

Janet raised a hand to her heart. “Oh, thank God.”

Cole’s eyebrows shot up.

“She’s twelve!” Janet explained. “She shouldn’t be a better cook than me. Not yet, anyway.”

Meredith looked at Cole again. “You didn’t answer, Dad. Don’t you want Lauren to stay?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he snapped. “You can’t meddle in people’s lives this way.” He turned to Lauren, who no longer looked spitting mad. She looked as confused as he felt. “I’m so sorry. I’ll call the producer, I’ll explain what happened…”

“Don’t bother,” Lauren said. “The jerk asked me to dye my hair red and play up my Southern accent.” She twisted her lips a little. “Among other things. And he kept calling me honey. I had almost decided to turn down his offer, anyway. Life’s too short to work with jerks who want you to deny who you are.”

“But it’s such a great opportunity…”

“Life is full of great opportunities. The trick is knowing which one to grab and which one to wave at as it passes by.” She gave the kids a smile. “Don’t think you three won’t have to make this up to me. When you get home from your visit to Birmingham I’ll expect you all to help me weed my garden.”

“I can do that!” Justin said enthusiastically.

“Yes, well, we’ll have instructions on how to do the job properly. And you’ll be raking leaves, also, when the time comes,” Lauren added.

“I can make a potion and mail it to the man who was mean to you,” Hank said. “Do you want me to turn him into a frog or just make all his hair fall out?”

“Someone beat you to the punch on that one,” Lauren said. “And you’d still have to help me in the yard, anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” Meredith said. “I just…really didn’t want you to leave. I’ve been so mean to you and you were just nice to me and…and…if you leave I won’t have a chance to make it up to you, not
ever,
and…” She sniffled, started to cry, and Lauren pushed her way past Cole and wrapped her arms around Meredith.

“It’s all right,” she said. “I’m not mad at you. How could I be mad at you? Yes, what you did was wrong, but you’ve apologized and I can’t ask for anything else. Your heart was in the right place. It always has been. We’ll talk about it later, when you’re not so upset.” She wiped away a tear with her thumb.

Cole didn’t miss the little squeeze Meredith gave Lauren, or, as she moved away, the enthusiasm of Hank’s hug, or the way Lauren braced herself for Justin’s hug, which came complete with his feet flying off the floor while his little arms held on for dear life.

Then she said goodbye and left the house without saying a word to him, or to Janet.

Cole turned to his sister-in-law, half-expecting a ton of sharp, unpleasant questions about this woman who had obviously wormed her way into the family in a very short time. How much did she see? “Well, that was odd,” Janet said, and then she smiled. “Very interesting. I have a feeling that woman’s a keeper.”

“She’s just a neighbor, Janet,” Cole said halfheartedly.

“Yeah, right,” she said dryly, “that’s why she worked so hard not to so much as glance in your direction.” She turned to the kids. “Let’s finish packing and get on the road!”

Cole was surprised when, not half an hour later, Meredith came out of her bedroom carrying her pink suitcase. The one she used for sleepovers.

“Mer,” he said, “I’m not mad. You don’t have to run off with Aunt Janet.”

“I know,” Meredith said. “But I emailed Hayley and she said we could spend some time together this week, so if you don’t mind…”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

“Besides, while we’re gone you can ask Lauren out on a date.”

“Not a good idea.”

“Why not? You won’t have to worry about a babysitter while we’re gone, and she said she’s not going to New York.”

He missed them already. Not that he would ruin Meredith’s week with her friends because he’d be lonely. “I’ll sleep late and plan my classes and watch movies. Who needs a date?” He winked at Meredith as Janet walked by and answered.

“You do. In the worst way.”

Cole had always thought that Janet had made herself a big part of their lives because she was controlling. He’d always imagined she’d have a fit if he ever started dating again. No woman could ever take the place of her sister, could ever be mother to their children. And a woman he was serious about? Forget it. Talk about full-out war.

“I don’t need…” he began.

Janet smiled at Meredith and asked her if she’d go pack up a piece of leftover chocolate cake for Uncle Fred, and as soon as Meredith was gone Janet’s smile vanished. She hissed at him. “Do you really think you’re doing these kids a favor by not having a life of your own? Do you really think it’s healthy for them to watch you bury yourself in being a parent until there’s nothing left for you?”

Cole felt his insides coil. Even though he’d had similar thoughts lately, this was
his
problem.
His
life. “Janet, this is none of your…”

“None of my business, yeah, I know,” she snapped. “But the children are my business because they’re Mary’s kids, her
babies.
I realize that I sometimes get too involved, and I also know you tried to get a teaching job in Birmingham and it just didn’t work out. If I’ve been difficult, it’s because I miss the kids. Darn it, Cole, I even miss
you
now and then. In the end we want the same thing. We want the kids to be all right, we want them to be happy.” She wrinkled her nose. “They’re going to grow up with a very warped sense of what an adult’s life is supposed to be like if you don’t get off the stick and start living again. Now, I don’t know this Lauren at all. She’s pretty, she’s a good cook, the kids obviously adore her…but that’s not enough. But if you really like her…”

“The timing is wrong. The kids need me full-time.”

Janet sighed; she did that a lot. “I knew a guy once, a friend of Fred’s. He was in sorta the same situation, only his wife ran away with some other man, leaving him with a couple of children who were very young at the time. He did exactly what you’re doing. He devoted his life to his children, turning down a couple of interesting romantic opportunities. There was one woman, I’m certain he loved her, but he let her go. The kids grew up, the guy grew old alone, the woman he loved moved on…and he died of a broken heart. Alone. No one came to his funeral but the kids, because he didn’t have a life beyond being a father.”

Janet stared beyond Cole’s shoulder. She was such a bad liar.

“Next you’ll tell me the woman he loved danced on his grave wearing a red dress.”

Her lips pursed and she blushed. “Okay, so I made it up. But it could happen. That man could be you, Cole. Mary would not have wanted this for you, any more than you would’ve wanted it for her if the situation was reversed.”

The conversation was cut short when Meredith returned, Hank and Justin on her heels. They were ready to go.

Cole got kisses and hugs all around, then stood on the porch and watched as the kids threw their suitcases into the trunk. Janet opened the door to the backseat, but the kids skirted around her and ran to Cole. More hugs, he figured. They hadn’t been apart for this long in…well, forever.

But they stopped short of hugging distance. It was Hank who spoke, Hank who lifted his chin, stared into Cole’s eyes and said in a very serious voice, “We did our part, now it’s your turn.”

“My turn to do what?”

“Make her like you,” Justin said.

Meredith looked toward Lauren’s house. “Take her to a movie that’s not a cartoon. No talking animals, either.” She pinned dark eyes on Cole’s face. “And if you take her out to eat, don’t go anywhere that has a happy meal.”

Cole smiled; dating advice from his twelve-year-old daughter.

Hank leaned in close and revealed the secret location of his magic wand and the supersecret ingredients for his ungrumpy potion. Just in case. And then he whispered, with the weight of the world in his young voice, “Go get her, Dad.”

Chapter Fourteen

L
auren went home, closed and locked the door behind her, and went straight to her office. There was a huge mess in the kitchen to take care of, and it wasn’t something she could let sit for very long. It would take days to get the stench of burned food out of her house! She didn’t bother to turn on her computer; she just sat in the chair at her desk, took a deep breath and cried.

She didn’t cry about some stupid show she’d never been sure she wanted, anyway, and she certainly wasn’t crying about the mess in her kitchen and dining room. No, she cried because her heart was broken for what had been lost. Cole, yes, but it was more than that. She’d been studiously avoiding falling in love for years, after her disastrous engagement had ended, because she didn’t want to deal with a broken heart. She didn’t want to give any man that power over her, not ever again. And now here she was, her heart broken not by one man but by an entire family.

They weren’t hers; they had never been hers.

She didn’t cry for very long. What was the point? Lauren wiped away her tears, blew her nose and lost herself in disposing of the inedible food the Donovan children had placed on her table, as well as the burned food from her own oven. Meredith had probably been the one to turn on the broiler. The child, learning to cook, had probably made that mistake at some point and knew what the result would be. The veggies and cheese in the microwave…that was Hank, she just knew it. It hadn’t taken them a full two minutes to destroy the meal she’d planned for Mandel and the cameraman, Ben, he with the long hair and no last name.

Lauren knew she should eat something, but even though she hadn’t eaten for hours she wasn’t hungry. The thought of eating made her stomach turn. She tried to blame her lack of appetite on the disgusting food she had to dispose of, but she knew in her heart that her inability to eat went much deeper.

It didn’t take very long to get the kitchen and dining room in order. She should be furious with the kids, but knowing why they’d done what they’d done she couldn’t manage to rouse any real anger. Maybe she didn’t belong in that family, maybe she and Cole had nothing left…but they’d come so close to something special, it broke her heart to know it was over.

While Lauren was taking out the garbage, she heard car doors slamming. Sounded like it was coming from the Donovan house. Aunt Janet, she supposed, heading home to Birmingham. Were the boys really going with her? For all she knew that had been a tale from beginning to end, something to give Justin an excuse to come to her front door and distract her. Then again, that was a lot of slamming doors for one woman.

After that all was quiet. Lauren half expected the ring of the doorbell, or a knock on the door, or a ball bouncing against the side of her house or rolling off the roof. But everything was perfectly quiet, just the way she liked it.

Go get her, Dad.
Good advice. Too bad Cole didn’t have a clue how to get that done.

Looking back, Cole could see that he had panicked when he’d told Lauren they couldn’t see each other anymore. He’d convinced himself it was for her own good, that they didn’t want the same things, that she would be better off without him. But what two people
did
want exactly the same things from life?

The truth was he loved her, and it terrified him. With love there was also pain that came out of left field and smacked you to the ground. With love came loss. One minute everything was fine and the next someone had yanked the rug out from under you and you were facedown, stunned, heartbroken. That kind of pain could really knock the wind out of you. He couldn’t allow himself to fall in love again, to take the chance that he’d lose…

But the sad truth was, he
had
lost love. He’d not only lost Lauren, he’d purposely given her up. Hell, he’d thrown her away. He’d yanked away what they’d found so unexpectedly, and then the kids had ruined her chance at becoming a cooking star. Together, they’d effectively ruined her life.

Cole sat on the couch, propped his feet on the coffee table, and wallowed in the silence. Without the normal chaos of his life, there were no distractions to take his mind off all the mistakes he’d made. He couldn’t use his kids as excuses for everything he’d done wrong.

Yeah,
go get her
was not so simple. From where he was sitting, it looked damn near impossible.

Lauren was up at the crack of dawn on Sunday, after grabbing just a few hours of sleep. Why was it that when she wanted most to escape into dreamless sleep, she couldn’t manage? Her sleep had been fitful; her dreams disturbing.

So she cooked. Cooking calmed her the way cigarettes or booze or chocolate soothed others. She found great solace in creaming butter and whipping eggs, in taking a few simple ingredients and turning them into something mouthwatering. The scent of bread or cookies or cake baking had the power to wipe out the stench of everything else. Or at least move it to the back of her mind instead of the forefront.

Gradually her heart rate returned to normal, and she was able to think of things besides Cole Donovan. She didn’t want to get out—she was in full cocoon mode—so she had to satisfy herself with the ingredients she had on hand. Butter, flour, cocoa, eggs, sugar, buttermilk…all the basics.

Since she wasn’t in a time crunch, as she had been yesterday, she was able to make whatever suited her. Another chocolate cake, buttermilk biscuits, gingerbread cookies which were round instead of gingerbread-man shaped, since it was nowhere near Christmas and she didn’t want any kind of man in her kitchen at the moment. Not even a sweet one. There was no way she could eat all this food. She’d make a trip to The Gardens this afternoon. The common area was always a busy place on the weekends, as family gathered to visit. Someone would eat what she’d prepared.

Oh, lemon bars…

The ring of the phone pulled her out of her zone. She half expected it to be Hilary, checking to see how things had gone with the producer. Lauren had thought about her editor last night, but since she didn’t have Hilary’s home phone number there was no point in worrying about it just yet. Monday morning would be soon enough to let Hilary know that she’d blown a great opportunity. She didn’t think her editor would care that she hadn’t blown it all on her own.

She glanced at the caller ID. Not Hilary, after all. She glared at Cole Donovan’s name. “Just when I stop thinking about you, you have to call and remind me that you’re right next door.” She stuck out her tongue and turned away from the phone. Eventually the answering machine picked up. He didn’t leave a message.

Lauren returned to her newest project. Lemon bars.

A few minutes later the phone rang again. Lauren checked the ID and sure enough, it was Cole again.

Or maybe one of the kids. Maybe they hadn’t all gone to Birmingham. Justin had said he and Hank were going, so that meant Meredith was at home. Lauren reached for the phone. What if something was wrong? She stopped herself with her hand on the receiver. “I’m not 9-1-1,” she whispered. But she didn’t walk away. She didn’t drop her hand. This time when the answering machine came on, Cole’s voice sounded through the speaker.

“Pick up, Lauren, I know you’re there.”

He sounded annoyed, but not panicked. If someone had been hurt his voice would’ve been different. She did not lift the receiver.

“If you don’t pick up right now, I’m coming over…”

Lauren snatched up the phone. The last thing she needed was for Cole to come to her door when she was in such a state. Eventually she’d get over him. She might even convince herself that he was right and she was better off without him. But she wasn’t there yet.

“What do you want?” Maybe her voice was sharper than usual, maybe she sounded a bit like a shrew, but Cole had basically ruined her life, so she didn’t feel as if she had to be polite when he called.

“I want you to get ready for company.”

Lauren didn’t want to see Cole again, not so soon. She certainly didn’t want him in her house, in her
kitchen.
But here he was…and what he’d done had stunned her.

“They’ll be here this afternoon,” he said calmly.

“How?” Lauren asked. “How did this happen?”

“You’d mentioned his name and I remembered it, so I made some phone calls.”

Made some phone calls. He made it sound so easy! “Why on earth would you do this? I told you I didn’t want it, I don’t need it, and the guy is a world-class jerk.”

Cole leaned against her counter, so close to where they’d made love for the last time, and looked at her with piercing blue eyes she’d once loved. It had happened so fast! In love, out of love…

She narrowed her eyes and glared at him. “Are you trying to get rid of me? You think this will be easier if I’m in New York and you’re here?”

“No,” Cole said decisively. “
Hell,
no. If you decide you don’t want to be a reality show contestant you can tell the jerk so. But you won’t lose this opportunity because my kids interfered. If you decide to wave at it as it passes by, that will be entirely your choice.” He waved his hand for effect.

“I don’t know why he’d change his mind,” Lauren muttered.

Cole folded his arms across his chest, kicked out one foot and crossed his ankles. So casual; so cool. “I explained to him what the kids did, that’s all. He seems to think what happened is cute, and will make a nice intro for you, a good hook.”

“Better than red hair, a pronounced Southern accent and a padded bra?”

At that, Cole looked surprised. “Seriously?”

“Sadly, yes.”

“Then he’s a bigger idiot than I am.” Cole pushed away from the counter.

She wasn’t ready to discuss how and why Cole was an idiot. “He’s not going to want to film the kids, is he?” Her heart jumped a little at the idea of someone like Mandel taking advantage of the children, plastering their faces on television for all the world to see, making fun of them, taking away their privacy…

“They’re all out of town for the week, staying with Janet for a few days, so we don’t have to worry about that now. It won’t be a problem.”

“Good.” Maybe some kids dreamed of being on television, but something inside her didn’t like the idea at all.

“I talked to Mandel on his cell. He’ll be here in an hour or so,” Cole said. “Charm the guy, feed him cake and biscuits, and then you decide.
You,
Lauren, not him.”

It was what she’d wanted all along, wasn’t it? To make the choice herself. To be the captain of her own fate.

As if she actually had any control over her life! She could make plans, she could write neat little lists, she could even convince herself that she was in control. But then someone like Cole—and his kids—came along to shred all her neat little lists to pieces.

And she’d liked it. She’d loved it.

She loved it, still.

“What if I’m not sure I want to leave?” Lauren asked. “What if I’d rather stay here and…and see what happens next?”

“Don’t turn down the deal on my account,” Cole said.

Lauren’s heart dropped. He was only helping her out because he felt guilty about what the kids had done, not because he cared for her. But before she could allow her heart to sink entirely into her stomach he added, “I’ll be here when you get home.”