The Hunter (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (26 page)

The Hunter
: Past
-Chapter Thirty-Three-

Divina let me go this evening. Unable to deal with our platonic sexless marriage. Not that Divina wanted to have sex with me. She just felt guilty having sex while married, even if it’s a pretend marriage. We’re not getting a divorce, just personally separating. We will still be a couple for
public appearance sake.

I miss Ezra. It’s a constant ache I can
no longer deny. Even after the denial that nearly emotionally killed me, I still
need
him,
want
him,
ache
for him.

Every day I check up on Ezra
, the same as he checks up on me. At night when Ezra visits, I play pretend: pretend I’m asleep, pretend it’s us in the pre-Ray days, the days before I knew I was a Hunter- Ezra’s relative. I allow Ezra to curl up around me at night- he stays for hours, holding me, kissing the back of my neck and down my throat.

Ezra can play pretend better than I can. Some nights I can’t take it, and I hold him back. I’ll yank Ezra to me, tearing his clothing off, and kiss him l
ike I can drain his soul into mine. I’ll roll over, pulling Ezra’s naked body on top of mine, and make love to him without penetration. We always cum together. Ezra pretends I’m asleep when no one else would believe it.

I tell Ezra I love him, and then pretend I didn’t say the words out loud- I am a coward.

I’m a faithful coward, though. I married Divina for Ezra, to secure his family fortune and the welfare of his cousin. After years of fucking everything and anything, in the year I’ve been with Divina, I’ve been faithful. I haven’t touched anyone besides Ezra during his nocturnal visitations. And I feel really good about my fidelity, proud and relieved. The meaningless sex was hurting me inside, making me feel lost… alone… hopeless.

Eager to tell Ezra, to ask him to take me back, let me move back into our apartment in The Edge Building, I track him down.
Ezra has been training in the art of BDSM: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Ezra believes it will heal us, psychologically, and Marcus does, too.

Ezra’s new hobby has made him create a club called Restraint. It’s still in the idea stages, but the building has been purchased, the club is being renovated, and the back dungeon is complete. Ezra spends all of his time in the dungeon, training with Marcus’ cousin Dexter. Ezra has tried to get me interested, but after Ray, I’ve had all the rape, torture, pain, bondage, and domination a man can take. I won’t find healing with BDSM- nightmares is more like it.

Earlier, Ezra had extended me an invitation to join him, as he does every time he trains. Tonight is the first time I’ll take him up on it. While I’m excited to see Ezra, since the only contact we’ve had is during is OCD excursions, I’m scared about witnessing the BDSM aspect of tonight’s activities. I fear it will bring it all back. I’ve been nightmare free since I came to terms with my marriage to Divina. At first I was screaming in my sleep, keeping her awake. But since we’ve made arrangements, and Ezra is visiting again, I’ve been nightmare free… and I want to keep it that way.

Kristal Harris, a girl Faith used to hang out with is wandering around a cavernous room
filled with things I do not wish to examine too closely. I want nothing to do with any of it. The way Kristal’s eyeing me, she only wants to do me.

I warm, blushing
under Kristal’s obvious examination. I was a Casanova in high school because I had to be. In reality, I was a bumbling idiot, and happy that the virginal Hillbrook alumni were too naïve to see through my ruse. Kristal is a well-educated female. I can tell by the way her heavily hooded eyes drink me down. She’s already fucking me in her mind.

A
fter fourteen months in a sexless marriage, with the exception of some passionate grinding with Ez, my cock is screaming, clawing its way out of my pants. I don’t want Kristal- I don’t know her. But my cock could give a shit less. It just wants to be surrounded by warm and wet… it needs to cum.

I calm my exquisiteness down by telling it to be patient. Ezra might take us back, and tonight we could be making love in our bed
. It would be so much more gratifying if it wasn’t some random hookup- if it were a true connection.

God, I miss Ezra.

I never want to pick out the nearest chick that will satisfy my erection, and then fuck her against a wall for five minutes until we both cum, and then walk away like nothing ever happened. I deserve better than that. I want more than that- I
need
more than that.

“Hey,” I purr, flashing Kris a charming smile. She looks a bit googly-eyed- perfect. “Where can I find Dexter Hayes?” I use Marc’s cousin instead of Ezra because I don’t k
now if anyone truly knows who Ezra is. I’m sure anonymity is an issue for Ezra, with all the publicity surrounding our family. 

“Hey, handsome… I know you,” Kristal purrs, twirling her brightly dyed hair around her finger- trying too damned hard to land me
, if you ask me. “I’ve seen you around Whittenhower Estates- you’re that author dude, Faith’s old flame.”

Kristal
deliberately wets her lips. My eyes flick down, watching her pink tongue swath a path across her glossy bottom lip. It’s not really doing anything me when I’m sure it should. It’s not mentally doing anything for me, that is. But physically, my cock is punching me in the nuts for attention- it wants those supple lips wrapped around it, until we’re lost down Kristal’s throat.

“I know you, too,” I flirt, smirking, letting my eyes wander like I can’t help but look at her cleavage. Nice, round, plump, perfect- I really don’t give a shit. Kristal isn’t Ezra.

I have Divina at home if I really want pussy. She would do me in a heartbeat- she’s asked every day for a year, and every day my cock goes soft. Oddly, my cock finds Kristal fascinating, but my mind finds Divina fascinating. I’m so screwed, and not in a good way.

“I’d like to know you better,” Kristal says, rolling her tongue. Her fingernails draw down my chest, managing to hit both of my nipples in a single pass- impressive. My cock jerks so hard that Kristal notices- eyes widening in surprise, she makes a silent O with her pouty mouth. My cock jerks again, begging to fill her O expression full of my length.

“I…” All breathy, Kristal says, “I want to take care of that… cock… for you. Wow,” she moans. “Please, I’ll beg.” She falls to her knees at my feet.

I eye Kristal
in shock. “I’m married,” I say with a slightly amused chuckle. “My wife might take care of that for me.” Doubtful, I won’t let her.

“I don’t care if you have ten wives,” Kristal honestly admits- not giving a shit either way- refreshing. “I’ll do you, and I won’t tell anyone.”

“Bullshit,” I snort. “We’ll see. Dexter?”

“Third door on the right,” Kristal helpfully replies, fingernails now scratching my thighs like a cat at a scratching post- begging for attention.

“Thanks,” I say with a laugh, shaking my head back and forth.
Wow!
I walk away, leaving the girl on the floor.
Un-freaking-believable.

I twist the knob to Dexter’s room, not bothering to knock. My smile is wide and I can
’t stop shaking my head in disbelief.

“Ugh, harder…” grunts out a masculine throat- Ezra’s voice hits my ears before I register what I’m seeing. Frozen
smile, petrified, heart bleeding out, soul dying, future dissolving, I watch as a tiny douchebag fucks my man in the ass. Just pounding
my
asshole like it belongs to him- like he owns it.

This man is
inside
my Ezra.

Ezra
guilelessly stares up at me, not looking shocked at all. And that hurts me the worst. Ezra wanted me to see this. He’d planned it. But for how long? Ezra had asked me a dozen times to come here. How many times has Dexter fucked my ass?

Ezra wanted to hurt me
… and he accomplished it.

“Why?” I whimper, trying not to cry. “Why now?”

“Why now what?” Ezra calmly asks as his new lover pulls from his body. And then I see it. The cock. It’s
the cock
. It’s bigger than mine, at least eleven to my ten inches- a fraction bigger, but enough to notice. Is that why? Did I not satisfy Ezra? I’ve always been the chubby kid, not sexy like Ez. All I had going for me was my manipulation that I pretended was charm and my huge cock.

After… I haven’t really had sex since
… before… I haven’t. Only what Ez and I do at bedtime, and that was innocent touching. I haven’t had sex since I was seventeen years old, and I’ve told no one this. Not even Ezra knows the depths of my issues.

“Is it because he’s bigger than me?” I scream as I launch myself at the tiny version of Marc
us with that huge motherfucking ass-piercing cock. Drawing my elbow back, I snap my fist forward, taking out Dexter’s nose. Satisfied when I hear the crunch of cartilage breaking. His eye immediately swells shut.

I wordlessly scream my torment. “I… I was coming back to you, you fucktard. I was coming to ask you to take me back. Move in with me. Make love to me. Divina and I called it quits. I missed you, and loved you, and you just betrayed me for the last time. Didn’t I do enough for you with Uncle Ray, you sick bastard? Why can’t I ever be good enough?”

I scream one last time, holding my cousin’s stare. Because from this moment on, that’s all Ezra is to me- a random family member.

The betrayer!

I turn as quickly as possible, feeling faint. I lunge out the door, pretending I don’t hear Ezra agonizingly calling my name, calling
me back, trying to manipulate me into staying, into believing his lies.

Eyes locked on my target, I prowl towards Kristal while yanking my wallet from my back pocket. I have the condom out before I
even get to her. I have it rolled on my hard cock before I even think of the ramifications. I fuck Kristal on the floor in the middle of this disgusting dungeon with people milling all around. I make Kristal cum twice before I request another condom and another girl. I fuck eight women before thought returns to my pain-fogged mind.

A man- Ezra won’t find a woman a betrayal, even if it was eight back-to-back
while Ezra and his lover watch from the shadows. Everyone who touches Ezra, man or woman, is a betrayal in my eyes. But it hurt worse that it was another man. So it would kill Ezra if I took another man, was taken by another man.

I only trust one man. I’ve only
ever wanted one other man. And it would kill Ezra to know. Impatiently waiting for the eighth girl to get off, I blindly thrust. When she’s finished calling out my amazingness, I pull from her body and yank the condom off.

I stare Ezra down while I walk by, nearly shoulder bumping him. I never came, and he fucking knows it, too. Dr. Zeitler is concerned, analyzing my behavior.

Analyze this, fuckface. I turn to Ezra, staring into eyes identical to my own and think,
I’m gonna fuck your daddy next! And I’m sure as fuck gonna cum ‘til my balls empty. I guarantee it!

Cortez Abernathy
: Present
-Chapter Thirty-Four-

Walking like a large herd, the residents of Whittenhower Estates flood the mall in search of Santa Claus. Ezra and Katya’s hands are twined, swinging between them until Ezra lifts their joined hands and places a sweet kiss to the back of his wife’s finger. Ezra’s eyes are rolled up to Katya’s and they share a private smile, one I will never be privy to.

Marcus walks next to them, Regina’s hand tightly and proudly clenched in his own. Torian, the charming shit, is holding both Spyder’s and Ava’s hands. Niel is sweetly resting his arm over his sister’s shoulders, telling her a joke while Prissy and Whitney laugh. Diane and Ade and Daniel are in the own private world, happily chatting. The excitement and festive nature puts grins on all of their faces.

The only one who looks miserable and alone is Grant… and me.

I trail the herd. Odd man out, or rather, the odd man. Everyone else is coupled, proudly together. I wonder what it would feel like to have Ezra hold my hand in public. But that will never happen. I’ve only felt a tinge of jealousy over Katya until this very moment. I thought I could win, but now I start to freak out.

Ezra married Katya- publicly, privately, and in every way possible. They share a name, a life, and children. How can I compete with that? They can live a normal life. I can’t give that to Ezra. I never could, and that’s why he’s not holding my hand and whispering privately in my ear.

A tiny hand fills mine, and my heart nearly burst. “Daddy” Azriel chirps.

“Ah, a beautiful girl on my hand. What could be better,” I say with a grin, winking at the tiny red head.

“I’m a beautiful girl,” Azriel sings.

“That you are,” I praise, squeezing her hand. Azriel’s red hair and green eyes are a striking contrast to her tan skin. Gorgeous.
Unique. “But you’re even more intelligent than your exceptional beauty,” I prompt, never wanting my daughter to place her worth on looks or possessions.

Another tiny hand fills my other hand. Baby Ez silently smiles up at me, content to be with me and his sister. I take a deep breath, know
ing that no matter if Ezra chooses me when the time comes, nothing will ever tear these hands from mine- nothing.

“Are you excited to see Santa?” I say in a high-pitched voice, mimicking theirs. “Get your picture taken and tell him what you want for Christmas?”

Grant looks back at me, seeing my children’s hands in my own- sadness washes over his face. Grant and I have spent countless hours not talking, and a lot where we spilled our souls. Grant missed out on these experiences with all of his kids except for Whitt, and Whitt didn’t even know Grant was his daddy at the time.

My eyes flick to Ella,
almost fifteen, still a girl.
Better late than never
, I mouth. With a nod of his head, Grant moves up to Ella. He slides his hand into his daughter’s, all the while staring down at their clasped hands with an unfathomable expression on his face.

Niel
infectiously laughs, pulling away from his sister so his father can have her all to himself. Without missing a beat, Niel draws his cousins to his sides, smiling for a change, still telling some raunchy joke that shouldn’t be spoken in mixed company.

Ezra looks back at me, relieved. Relieved that I didn’t allow his kids to roam off and get snatched or relieved that I’m not alone and bawling like a little bitch… I’ll never know, because I’ll never ask him. I’m too cowardly to hear the answer.

“I want a puppy,” Azriel demands. “Santa will promise to get me one.”

“Ah,” I groan, knowing that’s not going to happen. A new pup may not get along with Missy and Mast.
It’s bad enough we’ve invaded Whittenhower Estates, I can’t start bringing home random animals like it’s a zoo… animals that I will then have to take care of because the kids surely can’t. I’m already pet sitting Missy and Mast while Niel and Whitney are at school.

“What else is on your list, baby?” I prompt, hoping she says a Barbie or some shit. If Azriel demands memory cards, I’ll by her a gross of them as long as she doesn’t request anything that is breathing, needs food and water
, or constant care… or has an engine.

“Two puppies,” Azriel sings.

Fuck!

“What about you, Ez? What do you want Santa to bring you?”

“Ez wants a puppy, too,” Azriel demands. I roll my eyes. This is how Az gets her way- they tag team me. “That’s why I said two puppies,” she says, all pleased with herself.

“Santa can’t bring living creatures on the sled,” I quickly make up, thankful that I’
m a writer and can make shit up on the fly.

“Why not? Santa’s alive. Reindeer are alive?” Ez asks, smarter than the average kid- it’s always the quiet ones.

“Exactly,” I say, nodding my head like I have a freaking clue. “The puppies would upset the reindeer. Kind of like cats and dogs- mortal enemies. Reindeer hate all creatures except for humans and fish.”

“Oh,” Azriel buys my shit
, but my son is suspiciously eyeing me, like he’s going to debate me on my bullshit.

“Don’t ask Santa for food, either. He’ll eat it all. And nothing that takes batteries. If you do, Santa will give you socks instead.” I’m going to miss this when they grow up- gullibility. Their total trust and adoration- their innocence and naivety is addicting.

“I want to go home,” Baby Ez finally speaks again. He’s always so quiet I usually forget he has a tongue.

“Don’t you want to see Santa? Tell him what you want for Christmas?” I prompt, knowing I’ll take him if he insists… i.e.… starts pitching a fit of Azriel proportions. But I’d rather not. This is family time.

“ShadowHaven,” Baby Ez slowly pronounces, proving just how smart three year olds really are- intuitive.

“Me, too,” I murmur. I want to go home so badly it’s a constant ache in my heart.