The Hungry Heart Fulfilled (The Hunger of the Heart Series Book 3) (15 page)

 

 

“How would you feel
about your own
children, I wonder, once you and Dalton were married? Threatened,
resentful, begrudging of
their dependency and
the attention they would require, and the fact that you wouldn’t
have Dalton’s love
exclusively to
yourself any more, assuming of course that you ever possessed
it in the first
place?” Emer accused.

 

 

“Or angry that your
looks and figure
would become ungainly, that child-rearing was a nuisance?
   It’s
something I would
think about very carefully, that’s all, before you ever marry
and ruin any more
lives than you have done already.”

 

 

Madeleine’s face
looked as though it
was about to crumple in on itself, and she left without
another word.

 

 

Myrtle came in and
exclaimed, “What
in God’s name did you say to her? She looks as though her whole
world has fallen apart.”

 

 

Emer wasted no time
in feeling any
sympathy for the woman who had just departed. “Myrtle, take
this donation check
to the bank please, and cash it. I
don’t want the young lady to change her mind. Then I want you to go
see Malachi
O’Neill and tell them the
Bishop will give him the plans for the new orphanage and fever
hospital.

 

 

"The building
works,
organisation, and finances are to be under your supervision
and Joe’s until
such time as I am fit to take up duties as one of the heads of
the new
hospital. Then
tell the Bishop we shall
go ahead with his designs, and give him the money to bank for
us.”

 

 

Myrtle squealed
with delight and
hugged her friend, then ran out into the street without even
her bonnet on.

 

 

Emer looked up
then, and saw Dalton
standing in the doorway.

 

 

“What on earth have
you been
doing? I saw
Madeleine coming out
of here looking like a madwoman, and Myrtle running away like
her corsets were
on fire.”

 

 

She averted her
eyes from his
earnest golden gaze. “Madeleine
has
made a huge donation to help the new orphanage. She was sorry she
had been so negative in
the past. Myrtle
is delighted her dreams are
finally coming true, for with the money from Madeleine, I have
given approval
for the new orphanage, and the fever hospital to go ahead.”

 

 

“I must say it is
very kind of
Madeleine,” Dalton said quietly, “but I wonder at her sudden
change of heart.”

 

 

Emer shrugged. “The fire has
brought out the best in
everyone, it seems. Give her time, and she will make you a
good wife.”

 

 

“How can you say
that to me, after
what we’ve been through?” Dalton exclaimed in exasperation,
lifting her chin
gently with his fingers so that his golden eyes locked with
her own aqua ones
intimately. “How
could I ever
consider marrying her when it is you I love, have
always
loved, even when I
thought you were
dead.  

 

 

"And what about
William?  You
should have told me he was
mine a long time ago, Emer, not had me believe that you and
Oran had been
lovers once you married, and that the child was his.”

 

 

“I’m sorry, Dalton,
but you had
other duties and obligations, and I didn’t want you to feel
trapped by me,”
Emer sighed. “You
say you want to
marry me now, because you feel sorry for a poor cripple,
but...”

 

 

“Why are you doing
this, Emer?"
he exclaimed in exasperation.

 

 

"Doing what?"

 

 

"Lying to me!"

 

 

"I'm not—"

 

 

"Look at me! No, look at me!" He
cupped her
chin in his hand. "Are you so stubbornly prideful that you
won’t accept
any help from me, when you know I would do anything in the
world for you? I've
kept all three of my promises that I made to you before we
separated last year,
to help the poor in Ireland, to qualify as a doctor, and to
allow you the
chance to stand up on your own two feet in Quebec society so
that you need
never feel ashamed of your past and we could look forward to a
happy future
together. Cu Chulainn won his legendary love Emer after he did
his deeds of
daring, so why shouldn't I?”

 

 

She jerked her chin
free from his
gentle grasp. “This
isn't a fairy
tale, Dalton, and there's certainly no happy ending with me
lying here
crippled."

 

 

"Give
yourself time to heal, for Heaven's sake—"

 

 

"And I don’t want
your pity for
me, or enforced duty to our son, to be an influencing factor
in your decisions
one way or the other. Your
father
doesn’t approve of me. He’s cut you off without a penny....”

 

 

“Damn it, Emer, why
don’t you just
come right out and tell me the truth?” Dalton practically
shouted.

 

 

“I’m not sure what
you mean,” Emer
sniffed, again averting her gaze.

 

 

“All you are
telling me is a load of
rubbish and you know it! I
love
you, and our son. There's no
sense of
enforced obligation
on my part. I want to spend every moment of the rest of my
life with both of
you, and any other children we might be blessed with one day.
So why don't you
practice what you preach for once, and stop lying."

 

 

"I'm not—"

 

 

"Yes, you are,"
Dalton
insisted, "by omission, if not commision. Ever since I found you
again, after that
day in the
cathedral, you and everyone in the home have tiptoed around me
warily. I
couldn’t understand what was going
on, until Myrtle and the Bishop gave me some clues. I know now that
my father tried to bribe
you into staying
away from me. I don’t blame you for taking the money if it
went to save your
family and build the orphanage. 

 

 

"I'm angry that you
had so
little faith in me, but the letter was real enough. It was meant to
accompany an engagement
ring I had bought
for you in Dublin, not a banker’s draft to pay you off, you
silly girl,” Dalton
chided her softly. “Then
he lied
to me, told me that you were dead, so I wouldn’t bother to
come looking for
you."

 

 

Emer's eyes
widened.

 

 

He nodded his
confirmation. “I also
know that he lied to me about giving food and water to those
starving people on
the other ships. I
talked to Amos
Chandler, and he told me he had only been given orders for
three days’ supply
for the two hundred and fifty people and thirty crew
registered on the
Pegasus
. My father lied to me, and let all
those
other people starve,
and for that I
can never forgive
him.

 

 

"So I want you to
stop lying by
maintaining your silence about everything that my father and
now Madeleine have
done, and don't bother to deny that she tried to harm you in
some way, because
I can see the look on your face now, just as I saw hers when
she was
leaving."

 

 

Emer could hardly
believe his words.
He knew almost the whole truth now. Or was he just saying
these things to cover
his own errors…

 

 

"Darling, if you've
ever loved
or trusted me, please, I need to hear the truth from you. What
happened after
you got out of our bed on board the
Pegasus
, leaving me bereft
of the one thing
in the world I love more than life itself. I want the truth
from you now, Emer.
What happened when you went to Grosse Ile?”

 

 

Emer sighed.   Dalton might
know about the
money, and the provisions, no doubt from the Bishop and
Myrtle, but what of the
rest of it?

 

 

She asked suddenly,
“You haven’t
heard from Captain Jenkins recently have you?”

 

 

Dalton frowned at
the odd question.
“No, I haven’t but then, if he's in Dublin, and I'm no longer
involved in my
father’s shipping business, I’m hardly likely to have done.”

 

 

“Yes, of course,
I’d forgotten,”
Emer replied with a sinking feeling.

 

 

“Come on, no more
delays. Tell me
everything, Emer, or I shall
ask Joe and the others myself until I finally get the truth,”
Dalton threatened
with mock severity.

 

 

“No, don’t do
that!” Emer
practically screamed.

 

 

Dalton gazed down
at her distraught
face, and said, “What is it? 
What on earth is the matter, my love?”

 

 

“It’s just very
hard for me to talk
about it all, you know.
The voyage
was bad, but Grosse Ile was far worse,” Emer murmured,
stalling for time.

 

 

“I know, I saw it
with my own eyes,
remember? That’s
why I want you to
share it with me, and lay the ghosts of the past to rest, so
we can be happy
together at last,” Dalton urged, kissing her lingeringly on
the lips.

 

 

Emer settled
against the pillows
more comfortably, and slowly began to recount what had
befallen her on the
island of pestilence, telling him about the tree house, and
how she and Joe had
come to be nurses at the hospital.

 

 

She omitted
mentioning all the women
and children from Kilbracken who had been there with her, and
in her catalogue
of deaths was careful to omit any mention of Cormac.

 

 

But Dalton’s sharp
mind picked up on
her omissions, and he observed, “It must have been very hard
to do so much for
the sufferers with only yourself and Joe.”

 

 

“There were others
doing the laundry
and working in the kitchen.
We
managed,” Emer said quietly.

 

 

“Yes, but that's
also how your
father and Ailis got the cholera. It’s a mercy you didn’t all catch
it. And what about Cormac? You haven’t told me what happened to him.
I assume he died, since he isn’t here
with you.”

 

 

“Yes, he’s dead,”
Emer said flatly,
turning her face away from him.

 

 

“Well, tell me.”

 

 

“Please, Dalton,
I’m very tired, and
it’s time to feed the baby.”

 

 

Dalton scowled down
at her pale
face, and noticed she avoided looking him in the eyes.

 

 

“Damn it, Emer, I
want the
truth! Look at
me! Don’t turn
your eyes away. What
happened to Cormac?” he rasped,
pinning her head to the pillow so she couldn’t avoid his
burning gaze.

 

 

“I can’t talk about
it, don’t you
see! I just
can’t. Let me
go, Dalton, and just leave,”
Emer began to weep.

 

 

Adrian came in just
at that moment
with some broth, and berated Dalton soundly.

 

 

“She's meant to be
resting, not
being upset by you! Don’t
take
advantage of her inability to run away to bully and browbeat
her. When she
feels she can confide in you,
she will.”

 

 

“I feel like she’s
confided in
everyone
but
me! Am I such a
monster?” Dalton
barked. “What
the hell are you all hiding from
me?”

 

 

“You're acting like a monster at the
minute,
Dalton. Give Emer
time. If she wants
to see you again, she’ll
say the word,” Adrian said flatly.

 

 

Dalton looked from
one to the other.
"Why won't someone tell me the truth around here!"

 

 

"Maybe because you
aren't ready
to hear it," Adrian fired back.

 

 

Dalton squared his
shoulders.
"It can't be much worse than what I already know about what my
father
did."

 

 

But his two
companions remained
silent.

 

 

Dalton could see he
was getting
nowhere with any of them. He threw up his hands in
exasperation, and stormed
out.

 

 

Once he had left,
Emer heaved a
ragged sigh of relief. “Thank
you."

 

 

"Don't mention it.
Though I do
think he deserves the truth."

 

 

"I'm afraid of what
he'll do
when he finds out. His father is not a man to be crossed."

 

 

Adrian nodded. "But
nor are you
both without friends, my dear." He gripped her wrist lightly
to check her
pulse.

 

 

Emer sighed
heavily, and said as
soon as he was finished, said, "I can’t keep this up, Adrian. I know
he wants to
be with his
son. What normal
father
wouldn’t? But
the strain of
knowing that he
feels sorry for
me, and the suffocating over-protectiveness, are more than I
can bear."

 

 

"Do you want me to
tell him not
to come up—"

 

 

"He's living here
now. It would
be hard to stop him."

 

 

"So what would you
like to
do?"

 

 

She chewed her
lower lip for a
moment. “I want to go away somewhere, to recover on my own,
without so many
people waiting for me to get back to normal. I mean, what if I never
do get back to
normal?

 

 

"And even if I do,
I don’t want
to rely on you all. I
know you're
my friends and you love me, but I need professional help, not
a man who loves
me and is placing emotional demands on me that I just can’t
cope with at the moment,”
Emer said tearfully.

 

 

Adrian nodded
sympathetically, and
sat down on the edge of the bed facing her. “I have a friend
down in Georgia
who has a sort of mineral spa, just like the one in England
that’s so popular,
only not quite so elegant and refined. If it would help, would you
like me to make
arrangements for you, Sissy
and the baby to go down there?”